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The Hunt FOAR JV NFL October – 7 Oct Early Thread

King Hippo

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Some weeks, I just can’t really be arsed to preview all the Lesser Footy.  Especially with the German Elton John up on his cross again, wailing about the Spurs match/VAR fuck-up.  You’ve gotten waaaaayyyyyy more than your fair share of oopsie-doodles over the years, please just STFU.

Full schedule is here, talk about the fixtures in comments still.  Please!

As y’all may have noticed, we got some good parity going on.  For once, there is no dominant – perhaps no even “very good” – SEC behemoth.  The deepest conference looks like the last edition of the PAC-(MOAR THAN 2), and I expect a lot of circular firing squad action.  B1G remains same as it ever was.  tOSU, Meeechigan, Paedo State, and chaff.

October will do some sorting, and hopefully some solid entertaining.  First up…

Oklahoma (+6) v. Texas (Neutral Liek WICHITA! – Noon, ABC)

Steerfuckers Derby, Red River Shootout, whatever you want to call it (just not the sanitized, PC verbiage).  Okiehoma got their shit pushed in last year, and will be out for vengeance.  I’m not particularly confident that they will get it.  But heck, maybe we will at least see a few fights.  Gotta impress Bessie, you know?

LSU (-5) at Missouri (Noon, ESPN)

Shit or get off the (contention) pot time, for Brian Kelly’s lot.  They’re cornered, and Mizzou is very much NOT used to the weight of expectations.  Such a wide range of potential outcomes makes this a tasty watch (at least for me).  Recall that Eli Drinkwitz was the former/last good offensive coordinator at NC State.  I told my Wolven brethren we’d regret letting him leave town, and all agree.  Now they do, anyway.

Washington State (+3.5) at UCLA (3:00, PAC-12)

This is a really good/fun matchup, and relegating it to PAC-12 network coverage is borderline criminal.  Maybe a microcosm of how shitty this walking ded league has been at marketing basics?

Alabama (-1) at Texas A&M (3:30, CBS)

Another week, another Roll Damn Obituary is queued up and ready to go.  Bonfire Cult has a legitimately excellent defense, so the placement men might rule the day.

UCF (+1.5) at Kansas (4:00, Fox)

Lookit Rock Chalk getting some national teevee love!  It gets even stranger tonight, just wait.  We’ll see how much hangover there is from last week’s loss in Austin, but if the KU quartered back is healthy, I really expect them to roll here.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ireland’s got this one pretty well in hand. And despite the uniform similarities, it’s extremely unlikely that they’re going to Jets it up in the second half.

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scotchnaut

[trying to work out a Potato Famine joke, somehow]

-Me and Horatio

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Horatio Cornblower

Semi-related, been reading “We Don’t Know Ourselves” by Fintan O’Toole, about growing up during Ireland’s dramatic social changes from the 60’s on. Really good read.

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Horatio Cornblower

(so far not a lot of potato jokes)

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Horatio Cornblower

Man, I know Oklahoma isn’t much better, but any game ending in a way that sends thousands of Texans home in tears is a good game.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Another NFL equivalent! The ref getting hit with the ball!

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Horatio Cornblower

Dooooooooooooon’t caaaaaaaaaaaaare!

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scotchnaut

[Excitedly] “Gary Danielson Is Doing The Announcing for Texas A&M/Bama!”

Was this said by-

  1. No one ever
  2. A college football fan experiencing a mental health crisis
  3. Gary Danielson’s mom
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King Hippo

Marshall’s coach looks like John McClain’s “cop friend on the walkie talkie” from Die Hard. Just a stone or so thinner.

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yeah right

He needs a few more Twinkies.

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scotchnaut

He was emotionally shattered because of that time when he went for 2 instead of kicking for the tie. Had to take an offensive coordinator desk job because he couldn’t Hackett.

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King Hippo

yellow dye #5, everything a growing boy needs

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MUFFED PUNT EQUIVALENT!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE REFEREES I CALL THEM ROBERT THE BRUCE BECAUSE THEY APPEAR TO HAVE VICIOUSLY BETRAYED A GROUP OF SCOTSMEN.

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herodotus450

Teevee commercial that’s lidderally just people screaming the whole time. Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I think it’s safe to assume they are graduates of House Slytherin.” – Eli Manning

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Excellent equivalent of red zone defense by Ireland.

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scotchnaut

Turtles on their back now.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ireland vs. Scotland is happening now. Winner gets a place in the quarterfinals, loser (barring a miracle) goes home.

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herodotus450

Taulia needed a few more childhood beatings to make avoid that pick

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King Hippo

Hippo was THIS CLOSE to saying if Maryland wins this game, I will eat a piece of cheese.

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scotchnaut

A nice wedge of Roquefort for the gentleman?

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yeah right

Or perhaps a lovely sheep’s milk cheese while sipping a chilled glass of vinho verde on your private yacht rental?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“For every piece of cheese you don’t eat, I’ll eat three.” – Coach Reid

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

An older reference, but it should check out fine.

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scotchnaut

“You miss 100% of the cheeses you don’t eat.”

–B. Daboll

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bk109

Meanwhile, I’m faced here with a dilemma… I can either see why the grandparents (that disowned me for me not helping out my fuckup cousins with money an’ a “good word with my bosses… and a place to stay for free for a couple of months” ) are trying to call me repeatedly. Or I can order room service and play some Starfield (while listening to some college football I know fuck all about). Decisions, decisions… Also, wtf is malort?

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Mr. Ayo

Malort is Chicago sewage infused with alcohol.

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bk109

… ok, I’m actually intrigued, though at 35% ABV, it is kinda weak for me. Is there something similar, but for grownups, or should I just combine it with some grain alcohol?

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

And somehow that’s a flattering way to say it

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And they only bottle it one day a year!

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King Hippo

I am reading a non-fiction history “Spies” is the title (too lazy to go look up author, some British fucker IIRC). Boy howdy, does he NOT like the Kennedys. Looks like maybe RFK Jr. didn’t fall to far from the tree after all.

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SonOfSpam

Seeing that the Trump team is worried about Frankenkennedy taking away GOP votes was pretty cool.

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King Hippo

That’s the problem with making a paranoid weirdo your wind-up toy – they start believing their own bullshit and then you can’t control the aftermath.

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SonOfSpam

Trump would be a good example of this.

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Brick Meathook

I went to a prep HS in No. Virginia and I was on the fringe of the vague party circuit of the RFK kids. I didn’t know any of them personally but they all had strong reputations as being druggy rich kid fuck ups.

And RFK was absolutely canonized in my youth as well. The more I read about him the less I like, as he was the family hit man with all the worst characteristics of both his father and his mother. Joe Jr. was almost universally disliked as a rich prick at Harvard (which is saying something at a school full of rich pricks) but died a war hero, if you count what he did as heroic or just unlucky. JFK always comes across as the best of them, even when they try to smear him. Teddy? Forget it. I went to one of his Christmas parties though in the early 90s and it was fun, to say the least. My girlfriend was best friends with a girl whose mother worked for Teddy and her boyfriend’s father had been Ambassador to Great Britain (just like Joe Sr! Joe Sr. wanted to be ambassador to Britain so bad FDR once made him drop his pants in the Oval Office to make sure he wasn’t bow legged).

For a poor kid, Brick sure does get around.

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King Hippo

JFK was pretty much just an average dude (based on what I’ve read). Liked sports, fucking, etc.

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scotchnaut

“Sport Fucking”, more like it.

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Horatio Cornblower

Big into whatever the 50’s-60’s equivalent of opiates, too.

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King Hippo

He could pill out with me anyday, I’d happily ride his jetstream and bang his sloppy seconds!

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scotchnaut

Maryland with some horrific clock management that would make Mike McCarthy proud.

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herodotus450

I haven’t seen a clock abused like that by a Marylander since McNulty falsely claimed all that overtime pay.

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SonOfSpam

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

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King Hippo

Luther Burden gave up a yard or two, getting the ball off the left hash. Smartest JV NFL play of the year.

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SonOfSpam

Was that the intent or was he just trying for extra yards instinctually? Either way, thiccer kiccer made an ugly line drive. Go non-Bayou Tigers.

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King Hippo

I think he did it on purpose, but he won’t answer my texts. WHORE.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Very much so, however I’m not going to be the least bit surprised if Israel rallies around Netanyahu the way the U.S. did around George W. Bush, despite their negligent leadership making a disaster like this possible in the first place.

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Brick Meathook

Okay folks let’s go to the DFO SoCal Weather Board!

Let’s see here, 2-3 PM looks a little toasty for some, but Playa and Peedro are looking good!

However, shitty ol’ Playa del Rey is gonna fog over at 1 PM, for the win!

Thanks for playing, folks. Stay hydrated.

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King Hippo

But of course, is only niiiiiiice in Pedro

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yeah right

Still a bit of fog out there.

It’s a hard knock life.

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SonOfSpam

We’re gonna hit 94 today, good thing my plans involve TV and couch.

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Brick Meathook

How could I leave out Santa Ana?

Folks, I live in the poor part of Playa del Rey; SOS lives in the nice part of Santa Ana.

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SonOfSpam

Anaheim, but po-tay-to, pa-pa

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Brick Meathook

Anaheim Hills or Anaheim? Fullerton-adjacent?

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King Hippo

“I should really fire up Peacock for Rutgers/Wisconsin” says absolutely fucking nobody

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Don T

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scotchnaut

Apparently you can run on Ohio State. And pass.

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King Hippo

Much like Hamas, once the shock factoUr wears off, Maryland is totally fucked.

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Don T

woa
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Irsay must have found the real good shit before signing that.

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King Hippo

That was Irsay’s lesson from watching…Zach Moss doing pretty much the same jerb for 20% of the cost?

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Redshirt

Turtles. My team is losing to turtles.

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Don T

No shame in that
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Col. Duke LaCross

Crystal Palace has cheerleaders? I’m down.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You sure about that?

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BeefReeferLives

“Fresh from the streets of Sussex, they are!!”

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litre_cola

Big win for Mighty Whitey. Family free weekend off to a bang!

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WCS

Baker Mayfield is absolutely wasted, and loos like Wes Welker gave him some of the latter’s personal stash.

Last edited 2 years ago by WCS
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bk109

Also, g’day folks. How’re ya all this … so-so day?

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Horatio Cornblower

Better than the Jaguars under Tom Coughlin.

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bk109

Heh, that’s such a low bar, even lowratio can hurdle it without spilling his drink

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Don T

Kinda incapacitated, so far. Hope to continue present pursuits.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So-so. It’s gonna be 95° here today (I think that’s 472Q-1 degrees Canadian) and the Dr. Mrs. wants to go out and do stuff, even though we went out and did stuff yesterday.

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bk109

Here’s what you do, first you feign interest and start preparing (shaving, picking clothes, etc)… then, you have a sudden and completely unexpected stomach bug/muscle cramp.
That or .. you can rightfully ask her – how can we do stuff right now, when HAMAS on paragliders are attacking Israel.

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King Hippo

Hamas is gonna have a really bad day when Israel shakes off the surprise factoUr. I’m sure they really enjoyed that first 24 hours, though.

Will this mean even MOAR freelance work for BK?

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bk109

Oh, sweetie, the fact that Hamas somehow managed to do such a raid in such force the first place is damage enough for the IDF and Mossad. The fact that as of now, they are down at least 14 Merkavas (captured) and a fuckload of other heavy gear and have multiple confirmed POW is just icing on the cake for the Palestinians. The scarier bit at least from a professional standpoint is that unlike HAMAS, the Israelis did fuck all to learn from the stuff we’re seeing in Ukraine. That and how the Palestinians had ATGMs and MANPADs even before they managed to raid IDF depots raises questions on some of the photos one could see Romanian and Bulgarian manufacturers’ marks on mortar shells which leads to two really bad options. 1 Our Ukrainian “friends” have been selling weapons on the black market again (there’s already plenty of precedent, including Javelins in Syria and assault rifles and machine guns to gangs across the EU) or 2. Russia has started operation “karma’s a bitch” by sending out captured weapons to some very naughty people*. Ah, yes, and also that we’ve now got picture evidence that the overhyped Merkava needs one fucking grenade detonating on the turret roof(not inside) to brew up and take its crew with it…

*that’s less likely since at least 1/4th of Israel hails from the USSR, plus they already have the shining example of the blowback of the mujahideen (for Pakistan and the US) on why you don’t send heavy guns to unstable cunts

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King Hippo

Plus Saudi is Russia-aligned, and trying to work with Netanyahu to get their favoUrite dictator back in Murrikan power.

It would be fun to be an arms dealer in another life. Bet they have some excellent stories.

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bk109

Again, no. The Saudis are neutral – for stuff they’re interested in, they deal with the Russians (ie making money off the EU’s moronic policies, or the G7’s oil price cap, trying to stop the infighting in the Arab world), for other stuff they deal with the US.

As for… their favourite dictator? Can you elaborate on that, ’cause I’m nowhere near drunk enough to decypher that one.

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King Hippo

Trump. The Saudis like his corruption, the Russians get to eliminate Ukraine from the map (and NATO in general)

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bk109

Ah, that’s why I didn’t get it at first. You’re working under the false assumption that there’s any distinction between the two parties’ presidents outside of the US. If anything, Biden’s actually the more liked of the two from what I could gather from talking to Russians, since the general consensus on hin appears to be that he’s your combo Yeltsin and Gorbachov and that the longer he’s in power the worse you’ll all be in the long run…. 😉
If I were them, I’d pray for a repeat of the 2000 election, since with a nudge or two in the right direction… 😉

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King Hippo

Look, I barely lived through 2000 as a young man, no way would I survive a damned repeat. ESPECIALLY if North Cakalaky was the tied/decisive state (as it could plausibly be).

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bk109

You’re still a young man now.. Yer just a young man with plenty of experience in that position 😀

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King Hippo

I’mma steal that line!

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bk109

With the ladies, you can use the the related – you’re not old, you’re just a really experienced 29

1
bk109

Also, I don’t do freelance work. It’s either boring tech and customer relations for my corporate overlords and the rest is strictly for flag and country (’cause it sure ain’t for the pay) and thankfully mostly inside air-conditioned conference rooms. Admittedly, I prefer the clusterfuck that was the pullout to those, but I’ve been told that I’m a tad odd at times

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Col. Duke LaCross

Jeez.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I have no use for Man U, but that was really something.

0
Mr. Ayo

Whoopsie Doodles!

1
bk109

That’s why you play to the final whistle.. or until no one is left able to move on the other side (also known as my strategy on playing FIFA98 without bookings 😀 )

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Col. Duke LaCross

Doo Doo group indeed.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Welp.

0
Horatio Cornblower

That’s offside by 3′ for Christ’s sake.

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King Hippo

so offside even American audiences can tell

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2Pack

I’m hungry now

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Mr. Ayo

Dude

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Horatio Cornblower

Maupay’s a cheap little shit, but that was a hell of a shot.

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Mr. Ayo

Not at all Disappointing Everton?

#DoucheStrong

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litre_cola

That there is a beating.

2
Horatio Cornblower

Fun fact, my kids went to high school with one of the DEs from Oklahoma, Rondell Boothroyd. He’s one of the absolute nicest people (off the field, I assume), you’d want to meet. On his senior day in basketball he insisted the coach bench him at the start so that one of the senior bench players could get a start.

He started out at Wake Forest before transferring to Oklahoma. I believe he did quite well thanks to NIL with the transfer and good for him. Kid deserves it.

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litre_cola

Yesssssssssssssssssss

1
Don T

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litre_cola

Watering the garden (breaking heat record this weekend), smoking a joint, coffee steaming, dressed in my Moroccan garb. Ultra con neighboUrs CAME OUT! I wave from across of the street and said Top O’ the morning. Felt good.

/should have said allahu akbar now that I rethink it.

Last edited 2 years ago by litre_cola
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know, man, with what is currently happening in Gaza now is probably not the time.

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litre_cola

Shit, I just read the news! I worked both jobs yesterday.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I only just saw myself. It’s bad.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS GEORGIA’S RUGBY TEAM I CALL THEM THE NORD STREAM PIPELINE BECAUSE THEY HAVE RUN OUT OF GAS.

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litre_cola

Ambulance on to the field in West London. Team Knifey guy has a head injury.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE GUYS GEORGIA’S RUGBY TEAM I CALL THEM GRANDMA AND GRANDPA MANNING AT CHRISTMAS BECAUSE THEY HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE HUGE SPOILERS.

/not really, Wales has already clinched its knockout round spot, but Georgia is really outdoing themselves here.

//and of course Wales scores a try while I am typing this up.

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King Hippo

Is there time wasting in rugby? Because it would be fun to accuse the Georgians of…Stalin

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litre_cola

High end Dad joke here.

0
Don T

In the XXth Centurieee!

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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not really. You can’t really run/pass around in circles like you can in fútbol, and if you try to waste a bunch of time getting the ball out of a ruck the ref will yell at you to “use it!” and eventually just take it away.

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King Hippo

Apologies in advance to yeah right for this dreadful match.

0
yeah right

I should be the one apologizing.

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King Hippo

oh snap, Slabhead is playing. Somebody check on Wakey!

0
2Pack

Currently cut off from the developed world glamping with Wifey for her birthday. Her natural habitat is the boutiques. In our 41 years married we have never camped, I knew better. This is jagged edge for her. Thank God she has a fuckin painting class at 5. And double thank God the pool is still open for me. I could use thoughts and prayers.

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herodotus450

Some of those Glamps use only 300 thread count sheets; pray for 2Pack

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2Pack

Pioneer Chick here had me removing stink bugs individually, above 20 of them, for our first hour here. The struggle is real people.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We used to have problems with geckos. They are cute and fun and harmless until they start pooping on people. Which they do. A lot.

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King Hippo

u nevar c that n GEICO ads smgdh

1
Horatio Cornblower

Oh, you do in the ones on German TV.

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2Pack

Prolly the last outdoor pool for this year.

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Don T

Little leaves and no kids. Paradiso!

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

My wife’s idea of camping is a 4 star hotel

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bk109

Bragging or complaining? ’cause if it’s the latter – you should bless your lucky stars, damn it. Mine’s idea of a relaxing camping is basically a field exercise, only with worse packed food and no meat wagon to cart you back to base if you twist your ankle 😀

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I guess bragging as she hates the outdoors. Not sure she’d even do a high end glamping thing

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ballsofsteelandfury

That looks awesome!

1
litre_cola

Good morning early riser gang. Mrs. Cola is taking wee man out of town for Canuck Thanksgiving which means solo long weekend. Just rolled one and plan to burn it on my front step while wearing my Moroccan jelaba to freak out the ultra conservative family across the street.

3
blaxabbath

Goodness, can some real countries go to war to please? I still don’t understand why the US cares about Israel/Palestine. Maybe if the Israelis weren’t such prick neighbors everyone wouldn’t want to kill them.

Unless my gas is going up a nickle. Then we do need to go Oppenheim over there.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…going up a nickle.

I like that you internalized the “telling not spelling” subtext of my post this week.

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King Hippo

“UDOGIE” sounds like that exclamation of wonder Jed Clampett used on The Beverly Hillbillies

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Brick Meathook

Due to my use of high quality opiates, I’m usually the first up for fellow-traveller Hippo’s wonderful Saturday morning posts, even though I mostly hallucinate them.

2
King Hippo

#MeToo

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blaxabbath

BOOOOOOOOOO!!

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