Report: Chiefs will play on their Bye Week-Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

This is the first of three bye weeks that K.C. will get. (they’ve beaten Denver 15 times in a row) This just makes the voices that say that the league favors the Chiefs, shout that much louder. As a lover of all bleak things, our Hippo must be in his element.

Tidbits:

-Toxic Fuckers Update-Mikey Bidwill’s PR team said all the properly contrite crap when news of his love of burner phones, screaming at pregnant women and making players pay for their own meals was made public. Meanwhile, the team has gone after the person who made these allegations.

-Walt Garrison, an rb for the Cowboys in the 70’s passed away at 79. I remember the thing about him was that he did rodeo work (bull wrestling) in his spare time even after he was warned by Coach Landry not to do so. How did his career come to an end? He busted up his knee trying to bring 3/4’s of a ton of ornery beef to the ground. Smart fella.

To The Game!

Dead Horses/Chiefs:

-Kelce will play. Also, Denver gets Dulcich back!

-Proppage Alert: Though he doesn’t get a lot thrown his way, Justin Watson’s yardage prop is 20.5. He averages 22.5 yards a catch and his aDOT is 23+. All it takes is one shot.

-Denver’s rush D is allowing 28 fantasy points per game to opposing backfields so Pachinko looks ok tonight. Overall that D gives up 7 yards per play.

-Payton’s swipe at Hackett seems more and more like something an out-of-touch coach would say. It hasn’t aged very well at all. That’s what happens when you try to stand on the shoulders of giant(s) failures.

-Them Broncs are surprisingly 1st in the league in blown 4th quarter leads. Why surprising? Who had them leading in the 4th quarter anyway?

-Despite their success K.C. has issues at the wr spot-Toney, MVS and Moore have all come up small so far this year. Well, come on down…Justyn Ross? Hey, he caught a couple of passes the other week and he splashed in preseason.

Do your thing.

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Horatio Cornblower

Just saw the ending of the West Virginia game. Gordon Gee is gonna have to cut at least three more programs to make himself feel better.

Doktor Zymm

He doesn’t look happy

WCS

We went full WVU.

King Hippo

oh dear JEEBUS

Horatio Cornblower

Bidwill’s sexuality aside, he seems like an asshole:

https://twitter.com/minakimes/status/1712518577935495351

Don T

Bookstore promo on NFL broadcast. More harrowing than Gaza vids

King Hippo

RIP, WCS’ sofa

Horatio Cornblower

You can’t burn that! It’s an heirloom! 17 Hapsburgs were conceived on that thing!!

WCS

Cousinfuckers just went bananacakes.

fleshwound_NPG

also remember, chefs should be winning this 43-0 right now

but, ya know, matt nagy keeping it sorta close-ish

Brick Meathook

United is a suck-ass airline, even in their vaunted Polaris first class

Mr. Ayo

Ah, there’s the problem. Fatty Payton isn’t wearing his readers when looking at the play sheet.

Gatoraids

Shame KC doesnt play the Colts this year so we can see Irsay get pilled up and pitch Tay on song collab ideas

Horatio Cornblower

Braves just left there bases loaded in the 7th, down 2 and with Acuna at the plate.

You hate to see it.

Doktor Zymm

Took Al quite a while there to remember that 4 comes after 3

Don T

Al is still more sober than Dave Foley on those poker shows. I’m rooting for drunker Al.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, he’s not at a bar, so…

Brick Meathook

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Gumbygirl

Thunderbirds! Cool, cheesy, and creepy at the same time.

King Hippo

INTENTIONAL ORLOVSKY, RUSS. DO IT, THEN DROP YOUR PANTS.

LemonJello

DONKS COUNTRY: OH GOD WHY?!?

LemonJello

Donks locker room, dramatic re-creation:

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Doktor Zymm

Apple Commercial: “We think our customers are assholes”

Horatio Cornblower

But it’s TITANIUM!!!

Doktor Zymm

I’m not sure that was charm he just slung

King Hippo

Something very, very strange is going on with this team. It’s well beyond just sucking.

Gatoraids
Horatio Cornblower

I’m pretty sure it’s that no one likes Russ and that they’re quickly finding out that Payton is just an old guy in it for one last pay day.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This drive makes me miss Clinton Portis and his antics with the press.

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Doktor Zymm

Yes! He had PERSONAS!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think he was just into wigs and needed a socially acceptable excuse.

Senor Weaselo

THIS CLINTON PORTIS, I CALL HIM A VELVET ROOM GUEST BECAUSE HE HAD THE ABILITY TO WIELD MULTIPLE PERSONAS.

litre_cola

He was just the best. I looked forward to every postgame and his characters.

Gatoraids

only Jimmy Butler comes close
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Gumbygirl

That is a confident man. Love it.

Sharkbait

Ice football is BACK baby! Ice giants beat the ice bills.

Senor Weaselo

Oh yeah, my lunch hour is between 1 and 2 on Monday.

King Hippo

Maybe that article I read earlier on Fuckers du Cousins being “sleeper team” in the Twaaaaalllllvvvve was…a tad early.

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Needs more fiery couches but yea

King Hippo

also cankle fat

Horatio Cornblower

New AI test: Which one of these feet has hookworm?

LemonJello

Yo Gabba Gabbert is the backup to Mahomes?

TheRevanchist

But will they finally bench the entire Broncos team for a bunch of toddlers hopped up on Hershey’s Kisses and grape soda?

TheRevanchist
Horatio Cornblower

The Kelces are gonna run with this all the way to the bank, and Cthulu bless them for it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m out of mezcal. Which is unfortunate.

WCS

Sean Payton’s drunk and doesn’t care, right?

King Hippo

Fat and YES

Horatio Cornblower

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Disagree

Gumbygirl

May be the optimal way to get through life.

Gatoraids

TayTay and Russ have a lot in common both 5’11, had messy breakups with their previous management and getting sacked by a Chief tonight.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Banner?

Gumbygirl

Hell yes, this made me guffaw. Like a fucking lady.

King Hippo

yeah, even I will agree. That’s GOLD

Horatio Cornblower

I’m partial to Fleshwound’s just below, but this is a solid choice.

fleshwound_NPG

that 60+ got nailed so good nina hartley took pointers

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That wolf mascot reminds me, this will never not crack me up:

https://wapo.st/3M03LTM

Gumbygirl

Nice kick.

Doktor Zymm

BS, you can’t call for a flag there, you were a runner and didn’t slide

ballsofsteelandfury

Reading the Broncos’ lips, they were telling him, “You’re not Brady, fucker! Shut the fuck up!”

Doktor Zymm

That’s a really long way to say “If you’re a Denver fan, I’m sorry”

LemonJello

Fatty Payton always looks like he just sat on either his keys or his balls.

LemonJello

Al Michaels likes candy corn? Tha’ Fuk????

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“…and that was the last time I allowed Eli to play ‘bartender’…” – Olivia Manning

LemonJello

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litre_cola

As long as it isn’t vegetables.

Horatio Cornblower

deleted because I made an awful joke about Terry Schiavo immediately after seeing Litre’s comment, then scrolled down and saw that BFC had already made the same damn joke.

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
BrettFavresColonoscopy

(No, Balls, this isn’t a terri schiavo joke)

Gumbygirl

It…could be?

King Hippo

which is crazy, EVEN HIPPO likes a vegetable or two

Horatio Cornblower

The only thing keeping Al regular is the barley fiber in his scotch.

Which, to be fair, there’s seems to be pretty clearly a lot of in his system.

LemonJello

Andy Reid looks angry enough to eat…well, just about anything, really.

WCS

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hippofant

This is so bad I’m almost feeling bad for Russell Wilson. What the fuck are these plays?

fleshwound_NPG

plays that worked in 2009 but dont anymore

hippofant

I’m not sure a 2-receiver corner-flat rollout combination with a 6th offensive lineman ever worked, outside of on Friday Night Lights.

ballsofsteelandfury

It actually cracks me up every time they show Swift.

TheRevanchist

It makes me cry tears of joy, so kinda the same?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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ballsofsteelandfury

😂🤣

Redshirt

Insurmountable Lead is now an Insurmountabler Lead

litre_cola

10.5 was the line, not quite there. Hail Gamblor.

Redshirt

Vegas know Taylor Swift is only going to game to watch; she’s not going to play for the Chiefs, right?

Gatoraids

Denver going to fail the make Toney look good test

Gatoraids

only JEB! can save them

LemonJello

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BAH GAWD THAT’S KEVIN MCCARTHY’S MUSIC!

Horatio Cornblower

Sounds like someone’s past attendance at white power rallies may have finally mattered at last.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think they were mad he only attended and didn’t organize them

LemonJello

Pretty presumptuous of KC to think 3 points is all they need to beat Denver.

King Hippo

I mean, ACCURATE but just not very nice

hippofant

5/6 for 17 yards and 1 INT, ‘dem’s Trent Dilfer numbers!

Senor Weaselo

Jeebus, why is nhl.com’s Gamecenter worse?

WCS

Gary Bettman is an intergalactic disgrace.

fleshwound_NPG

because putting all effort into removing very, VERY threatening colored tape on sticks was far, far more important

King Hippo

See Bettman, Gary

LemonJello

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WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

KILL IT!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

thursday night football

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WCS

Spur’s logo/avatar/whatever is us.

Gatoraids

Amazon has always been a proud sponsor of miserable working conditions

Senor Weaselo

I should be watching BattleBots, but I feel like I’m allowed a reprieve of vehicles crashing into each other. Now, humans? That’s okay.

jjfozz

Glorious

TheRevanchist

My whole TikTok is Kelce and Swift. I finally get the appeal of TikTok.

King Hippo

I am glad I don’t have to summarize this like a Sunday fixture