TGIF! Just realized it’s Friday the 13th. Have I just improved my social circles or is this date no longer talked about as a bad omen? Discuss amongst yourselves.
Survival – Personal Edition
With summer ending and fall starting, the temperatures are dropping. And that change harkens the end of the golfing season in some parts of the country. As a result, you are much more likely to encounter an angry golfer on the course, exasperated by their own bad play as usual, and alcohol as usual, but further irate that it might be their last round of the year. Let’s go over some tips to deal with this golfer and avoid injury.
- Assess the danger level. If you can, just ignore the situation and leave.
- If you must confront the golfer, first try talking to them. Speak calmly, with a low voice and even tone. Avoid sudden movements or gestures. Remind the them this is just a game, and a game is supposed to be enjoyed. Also remind them to take a few deep breaths and think over why they’re mad.
- If talking has the opposite effect of further enraging the golfer, they now have a club in hand and is waving it about. You may have to act quickly to restore order and avoid injury to yourself.
- Be prepared if the golfer attempts to swing their club at you. When they pull the club back, move quickly towards the center of the club and near their body. The club head can cause the most damage, while the club shaft is quite flexible.
- Now that you’re in range, grab the club. Grab the club as close to the grip as possible. Pull down on the club, staying near the golfer, until you can wrap your arm over the club. You want to be pinching the club in your armpit while keeping a hold of the club with your hand.
- Wrench the club away. At this point you have the leverage on the club, so turn your body away from the golfer to break their grip on the club. Make sure to use just enough force to do this, as you don’t want to fall down.
- As after getting the club free, step back and away from the golfer. Also position yourself so that they can’t re-arm themselves with another club.
- Call for help. People will be more willing to help you once the golfer is no longer wielding a club.
- Keep calmly talking to the golfer to get them to calm down.
Once resolved, head straight to the 19th hold and reward yourself at the bar. You did a good thing and didn’t get hurt!
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
I don’t want to sound like some Hollywood superstar dickhead, but Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin just “loved” one of my Facebook posts and I’m pretty sure it’s really him.
This is almost as cool as when I stood behind George Carlin at a Starbucks, or when I smoked a cigarette with 007 Timothy Dalton (not the same cigarette though). I also stood near Sherman Helmsley waiting for valet at the Century City Hotel, so there’s always that too.
Nope, turns out to be an imposter. However, it reminded me of when I rode in an elevator with a lawyer who looked just like Jon Voight. Turns out it was Jon Voight, and he owned the production company I worked for. He’s like 6’4”, which threw me because most actors are short guys with big ol’ heads. I guess they photograph better.
Jesus! James Harden’s beard looks like a the pubes of 439 Ron Jeremy’s were superglued to his chin. I would have thought that the crabs from whatever Kardashian he was bangin would have made him shave off that shit, or at least groom it.
Looking forward to Game Day still trying to find a way to suck off Coach Prime tomorrow, although I’m also not getting up much before 11. It’s 2:12 AM here.
Good Morning Vietnam!!!!
https://youtu.be/4L4PLfHx2Gw?si=aAT5SHvcKiqHch-w
Oh my god, do not fuck this up Stanford.
They did not, in fact, fuck that up.
That catch! Wow!
These games are so entertaining. I’m going to miss Pac12 after dark.
Stanford-COACHPRIME has gone plaid.
Just a reminder that all radio isn’t corporate shit
http://radio.garden/listen/who-magoo/Qh1Jh88J
http://radio.garden/visit/warragul/RmcUFVEY
http://radio.garden/visit/wolverhampton/hLYmBNlA
Holy shit this Colorado game is hilarious.
OT!!
Double OT!!
Colorado’s Travis Hunter is going to piss blood for a couple days after that.
“Oh goddamnit don’t put thoughts of vampires into my kid’s head right before bedtime.” – Olivia Manning
Sanders is going to ride that kid until his career is in a shallow grave in a swamp.
Colorado: Please. Take this game. We do not want it.
Stanford: No, no. We are guests in your home. It would be inconceivably rude. You take it.
Colorado: (punching Stanford WR in the face on 3rd and 22). No, really. As good hosts we insist.
Colorado has a dozen penalties for 106 yards.
THAT’S PRIMETIME BABY
Stunned that a team coached by a ME FIRST gloree-boy is undisciplined mess.
Well shit?
Did I miss anything?
Happy Friday!
Youngest right hit 34 today.
And I don’t feel old at all!
Good week!
Good things happened!
Why am I using so many exclamation points?
Because you’re old and forget how many you’ve already used?
/stands in his kitchen at 1:00 am wondering where the light bulbs are
Then eats a handful of peanuts because they were there.
I mean, what am I gonna do, let them go to waste?
Aren’t you in the Midwest somewhere for the eclipse?
That’s the next eclipse. This is great!
I had the same talk with one of my crew who thought I was flying to Indianapolis this weekend.
No, Not this eclipse, the OTHER one.
Sometime commenter Makeitsnow sent me this.
Tasty, but also worth it just for the name alone.
Missed him on a trip to Denver. Bet that would have been fun.
Oh, I suspect you’d have gotten drunk.
I’ve got Denver on my list just to hit bars with him.
Denver is fun as fuck. I’ve been 3 times and if you go, triangulate around a show at Red Rocks then you can apply for sainthood.
Red Rocks and The Ryman are two institutions I intend to hit like they stole something.
And Stanford goes 60 yards for another TD.
Colorado is so bad.
It turns out that when you have two players, none of whom are on defense, and no coaching to speak of, even a bad team like Stanford can make you look bad.
Stanford is still going to find a way to lose by 14+ points. They’re terrible.
Stanford just scored a 103-yard screen pass for touchdown.
And it was glorious.
Young Frankenstein is on a random HBO channel. Just turned it on at Gene Wilder saying “HELLO HANDSOME!”
Everyone, EVERYONE in that movie knocked it out of the park.
Absolutely. It’s fantastic from start to finish
Kinda hard to tell what’s going on though; I’ll wait until they release the color version.
Playing opera super loud partially cause I like it but mostly becaue I hope my neighbors will hate it
THAT’S GOOD HATE
I would just play Flower Duet on repeat.
“I know what that Italian lady is singing about, and I hate it”
-Dok’s neighbors who are also huge Tim Robbins fans
It’s possible I’m being condescending, but it’s Porgy and Bess so in English.
I can switch to Carmen or Tosca at any time though
Not at any time. Only when it was funny.
I’ve gone to Bach fugue in D minor anyway
Bach really knew how to work that organ
The Buddy Signal has been lit!
https://youtu.be/NtfHaJKW1zQ?si=RhUasQ5UR-mXGq3B
If Trevor Risk is involved in the music with Shoresy this is his Mona Lisa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixaQeO1Q4rE
I still sadly haven’t watched shorsey yet. I need to fix this.
You of all people need to remedy this ASAP.
It’ll be so good to ya.
Accurate.
That “True Love” song with the visuals behind it. Holy Fuck. That’s the Sistine Chapel and David combined.
https://youtu.be/GrJhHormeg8?si=qXAX1ZU8KK7HDYlY
Shoresy: Uh oh. Uh oh. I think I know what that is.
Laura: What?
Shoresy: That’s a chink in the armor.
Laura: If I can’t write that anymore I’m pretty sure you can’t say it.
https://youtu.be/5xRRcH2bpL0?si=mU031XxqXqHanYV6
Love how Laura is always spiking her coffee.
Ghost of Pseudo-Hipster Dipshit Crush Past!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuJE40OBt48
Ah, sure it’s chaotic but at least we’ll finally get to see that rare Congressional rule that mandates one member to be executed for each day there’s no chosen Speaker of the House–
/wakes up from dream
Oh, well.
If only snap elections were a thing here.
Can it be MTG? Please?
Just rewatched Mission Impossible for the first time in at least a decade. It is rigoddamndiculous.
I’ve been to the gates of hell. It’s pretty neat. But it would be better if we shoved Jeff Bezos in there
There are quite a few people I’d put in line ahead of Bezos.
But yeah him too eventually.
My echo is being a bitch. I blame hime personally
Tough but fair.
But how did you wind up in Newark in the first place?
You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy
New haven maybe
Yeah, but the pizza is way better.
The Saints also played UConn in the late 80’s. They got the ROTC hanger and literally dozens of fans. Squeeze played the Jorgensen Auditorium and sold it out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJMc-yO41W8
The singer for The Saints spent the entire concert inviting every female to come to the local bar and get hammered with him afterwards, with obvious implications. Anyone who took him up on it had to be out of their minds. Dude was shitfaced from the first song. And it was still a pretty good show.
“I’m a sucker for a good horn section” he typed, secure in the knowledge that no one would twist that comment into a long-running joke against him.
Don’t worry, you’ve already got Lowratio.
These guys are on tour!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B61XAN2Ujw
Lady number 4 could use a little help with her blindfold. And arm bras are such a tease.
It’s not a party until 2Pack wakes up for his run!
*the runs
Very rarely, even after Taco Bell. I am blessed.
And you guys are all just swell for waiting up for me.
Mandatory
Oh, we’re all going running at the same time too, out of solidarity.
/NOBODY TELL HIM!!!
I’m off. Y’all have a great night’s rest.