TGIF! Just realized it’s Friday the 13th. Have I just improved my social circles or is this date no longer talked about as a bad omen? Discuss amongst yourselves.
Survival – Personal Edition
With summer ending and fall starting, the temperatures are dropping. And that change harkens the end of the golfing season in some parts of the country. As a result, you are much more likely to encounter an angry golfer on the course, exasperated by their own bad play as usual, and alcohol as usual, but further irate that it might be their last round of the year. Let’s go over some tips to deal with this golfer and avoid injury.
- Assess the danger level. If you can, just ignore the situation and leave.
- If you must confront the golfer, first try talking to them. Speak calmly, with a low voice and even tone. Avoid sudden movements or gestures. Remind the them this is just a game, and a game is supposed to be enjoyed. Also remind them to take a few deep breaths and think over why they’re mad.
- If talking has the opposite effect of further enraging the golfer, they now have a club in hand and is waving it about. You may have to act quickly to restore order and avoid injury to yourself.
- Be prepared if the golfer attempts to swing their club at you. When they pull the club back, move quickly towards the center of the club and near their body. The club head can cause the most damage, while the club shaft is quite flexible.
- Now that you’re in range, grab the club. Grab the club as close to the grip as possible. Pull down on the club, staying near the golfer, until you can wrap your arm over the club. You want to be pinching the club in your armpit while keeping a hold of the club with your hand.
- Wrench the club away. At this point you have the leverage on the club, so turn your body away from the golfer to break their grip on the club. Make sure to use just enough force to do this, as you don’t want to fall down.
- As after getting the club free, step back and away from the golfer. Also position yourself so that they can’t re-arm themselves with another club.
- Call for help. People will be more willing to help you once the golfer is no longer wielding a club.
- Keep calmly talking to the golfer to get them to calm down.
Once resolved, head straight to the 19th hold and reward yourself at the bar. You did a good thing and didn’t get hurt!
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
While you all were so amiably chatting, I had delivered to me:
Thai fried rice w/ shrimp
Garlic green beans w/ veggies
Crispy spring rolls
Thai stick
This was from a Thai restaurant on Manchester just east of Sepulveda, which I consider to be fly-over country. It was good though.
Thai stick? Hey, whatever floats your boat smh
Some people just don’t love the BBC.
Does Sanders do any coaching? Like, at all?
what for, he brought TEH LOUIS
Squeeze sidebar MOAR!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQciegmLPAo
Fuck yes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bTWF7eirJw&pp=ygUHc3F1ZWV6ZQ%3D%3D
100% what I clicked to next!
These guys played UConn in ’88 or ’89 and I’m not sure how the girls at the concert didn’t die of dehydration.
The 80’s were weird.
So, 27 years ago, I asked my then gf to marry me on a Friday the 13th. In May it will be 25 years married, so not too concerned about Friday the 13th’s
or you just got bollocks the size of coconuts!
Dok’s odyssey has me remembering. Jeebus, when I was trying to online date, I wasn’t even a recluse yet.
What would I say now? I like never leaving the house, shame, emotional distance, quiet for weeks on end, my imaginary friends, and cats? How many cats is too many cats?
There is no such thing as too many cats
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ2cEc_TCH8
Also, I haven’t actually done anything yet! Should I follow through, actually create profiles, and talk to ‘people’ mayhaps I will write about it
YAAAASSSSS!!!!!
You mention your love of cats and your phone will never stop beeping.
heh, I did that back then, but I am still me. Think that aspect just set off ladies’ gaydar.
If they don’t appreciate the hippo you are, that is their loss.
Sort of. Kind of. Maybe.
but only IN WICHITA
Taylor Swift has cats. It’s a good thing to have multiple
2 cats is the max. The litter box situation gets dire with more. Unless they’re outdoor cats, but that brings in the other issues.
I have 2 indoor/outdoor and #3 is indoor only. The first 2 only use the litterbox in the direst emergency. Them fuckers would rather go out in the snow.
Fresno state winning. Colorado winning. Travis Kelce and Tay Tay winning. What a good week!
But what if Trav proposes during the playoffs and TayTay be all liek NAH
We have no chance without trading for a wide receiver. Next year, maybe.
Jerry Jeudy will likely be available in a hot minute. Although I can’t see Denver trading him, or Sutton, to the Chiefs.
Punish them and trade with the Jets. Just don’t ask for a conditional draft pick. Not with the Jets.
I’ve always thought that “rule” was crazy. If you think you’re getting a good deal, why wouldn’t you want to extract such from your rival? Especially if they “overpay” so you break that “rule?”
/we bite your hands off if anyone offers a 3 for Jeudy, or a 5 for Sutton
Dammit you’re right
I’d be so good to Nat.
But seriously, Shorsey flirting with Lara is fantastic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWKu6YAz2V4
I think that former KSKer Trevor Risk has something to do with the music on the show.
She’s gorgeous too. Love the casting on this show. The sisters are hot too.
Let’s get some shoulders in there for our ungulate friend.
One of them was in that Predator remake last year. Can’t recall which one.
Well Sudbury does have a disproportionate number of hawt women
So I’ve heard.
So I’ve heard….
shoulders are promising!
To steal a bit from BFC,
Hockey penalties that sound dirty:
Hooking
Holding the stick
Roughing
High-sticking
Contact to the Head
Slashing
Butt-Ending
Checking from Behind
“He’s got the puck in his own end”
helmet to helmet contact
Memories of my time as a youth football camp at Penn state.
right before “How to Keep a Secret” practice!!
Too many men.
Hah! Listening to that podcast right now.
Crease violation
Icing
Spearing
Unsportsmanlike conduct.
Wait, what are doing?
I like wine, long walks up the largest dunes in Europe, oysters, wine, space volcanoes, traceless assassinations, wine, and face mites.
Working on your dating profile, I see.
Anyone who gives me a space volcano fact I don’t know is a keeper
/frantically Googling ‘Enceladus’
You forgot the nut volume reference!
Also, add that you think a ruler is actually 16 inches in length.
Or measure in centimeters
I’m too good at conversions. It’s 2.54 centimeters to the inch. Even an angry inch
Responder: “Please send a picture of your car”
Include a picture of food in your profile. Like a thicc steak or some Del Taco fries or spaghetti or a meat lovers pizza or a block of parm or ribs or Winona Ryder or pretzels or a 7 layer dip or ramen. Everyone loves a good looking snack.
I’ll do two profiles, one with brie and one with ricotta so I know who to trust
Smart.
Using Brie will definitely do numbers.
You forgot wine.
*perks ear*
Despite all the JV NFL CHAOS!!! – Stanford still seems quite Stanford-y
Lotta Neutragena tantrums by BU as they go down in defeat.
Shoresy Season 2 coming this month to the US. You Canucks got it last month.
Just rewatched Season 1. It might be better than Letterkenney, and I do not say that lightly.
I honestly think it was better than Letterkenny. And that’s saying a lot.
It’s being released one episode at a time, but still worth waiting
You’re all going to be surprised at just how white the crowd is at a college hockey game in New Hampshire.
The ice has more melanin.
That pretty much sums up New Hampshire
It’s not exactly a melting pot.
It is, but it’s just emmental in there
I’ve talked about this before, but my dad’s brother moved out there and had a daughter a few years younger than me. She’s smart as hell but it’s always kinda funny how wide eyed she gets when she realizes how affluent her home town is when she’s visiting her home town.
Also one time she accused me of being a colts fan so I challenged her to name two black players on the patriots and she couldn’t and this was after the 2014 super bowl win
Gasp!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo
“We would have come earlier, but your husband wasn’t dead then”
Never fails to crack me up.
“And that youngest boy, just like father, football hero . . . I lived with him for a year, wasn’t the same. You can’t go back.”
Police Squad was fantastic.
If New Hampshire can hold on here, (5:13 to go, BU about to go on the power play), I want to see the fans charge the ice.
For reasons that should be obvious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRflSSrg6rY
Reason #185 why I am better than tech bros: If I had to pick walk on music for a meeting I would pick Ride of the Valkyries
https://youtu.be/1bP-fFxAMOI
I’d say depends on the meeting.
That’s me in the corner.
That’s me in the spotlight.
Losing my religion.
20 QUESTIONS!!!
I’ve peed on all 7 continents, but never on a football field. I salute thee
Rank those bathrooms! And also go back to Antarctica for the most important question, what’s their Scatterbug region?
Gotta be icy? I need monsoon dammit!
Announcer: Oh, and a gaping opening goes unfilled!
Me: You know, I’m surprised Balls doesn’t watch more hockey.
Are you kidding? I LOVE hockey!
It’s too bad the Kings suck.
But you need to have a girlfriend that also likes hockey so you can make 5 hole jokes to your heart’s content!
My college girlfriend had two brothers and a brother-in-law who all played college-level hockey.
I kept my mouth shut at get togethers.
And once a month you can try to get past the pads.
As long as you don’t flinch when she makes 2 man advantage jokes
Well, like Gretzky, she’d know where my office is…
Mom, yelling up the stairs: “Don’t make me call off-setting roughing penalties on you two!!”
Season’s over after one game.
(but yeah that was disappointing)
Kings need to go back to purple-and-gold, and the NHL needs to take the sweater contract away from Fanatics.
yes and also yes
Not just purple and gold but Forum Purple and Gold
Royal Retros, who have provided me with several hockey jerseys and a totally-not-the-Tampa-Bay-Buccaneers-Lee-Roy-Selmon-Creamsicle jersey, just dropped four new ones.
Pretty sure that Canaries purple and yellow one is going to find its way to CT.
https://twitter.com/RoyalRetros/status/1712958201518490032
I have a Vancouver millionaires hat that looks exactly like the sweater in your picture.
I am not a paid spokesman for RR, but I’ve been very happy with their stuff. Way better than Fanatics.
Just took a shower and killed so many face mites.
No, wait, they’re back.
No, wait, I have the DTs.
Unless you were sleeping in the shower they were safely tucked away in your pores and follicles, silly!
Only one cure for that.
On it.
Fire or bleach?
Colorado-Stanford is great and all, but in college hockey New Hampshire is up 6-4 on #1 BU with 15:31 to go in the 3rd.
Potential huge upset brewing in Hockey East!
What is New Hampshire’s mascot, the Tax Refugees?
A wildcat.
Back in 89-90 New Hampshire came to UConn for a basketball game. UConn scored something like the first 28 points. The crowd went nuts when UNH finally scored.
Anyway, they had the absolute mangiest mascot uniform. Looked like they’d dragged it behind the bus on the way down.
U*NC did that for us once, and I about had a stroke. It was like 41-9 when they did it, so SUCK IT UNH
The Libertarian Bear
George Santos has entered the chat
Danny Boy Snyder’s new yacht?
I went to school in New Hampshire (Not that one) we were the Penmen because it used to be an accounting school. I shit you not.
Ah, an SNHU man.
This bag of macadamia nuts says it has about 7 servings of 1/4 a cup. I am reasonably certain I’ve eaten more than half the bag, yet there seems to be a cup or more left. Am I just bad at estimating nut volume?
grumble grumble i’d show her what nut volume is except she isn’t a mother grumble
break out teh Pyrex and check that shit
I don’t know, but be sure to put “bad at estimating nut volume” on your dating profile.
But that in your dating profile if you want to case a wider net.
Great job idiot. Late and wrong!
probably ought to get MOAR freezer vodka
do it for your forsaken wanking thumb
Great advice. On it, sir.
Can a reply get the banner?
Anything less than 56ml isn’t much
Memories!
Ketchup (or catsup 2 BE FARE) on french fries is an absolute abomination.
English ketchup has even MOAR sugar than US ketchup and is correspondingly awful
my little brother used to put that shit on everything. Steak. RICE. I failed as an elder sibling, always knew I should have been punching him harder/MOAR
Aioli or GTFO.
ah had no idea yew wuz Flemish smgdh
No it isn’t you damn southern weirdo lawyer
Ketchup is for hamburgers only. Even then, I no longer order mine with. Just plain WASP mustard and green peppers.
goddamnit, now I want a Cook Out burger
AND CHEESE IS GOD’S PERFECT FOOD
ONLY IF GOD IS A MONSTER LIKE TEH HAMAS SEEM TO BELIEVE
Nah she’s cool
Funny way to spell ‘bacon’
I made a batch of Vieux Carres to take to this party tonight….and then Lady BFC doesn’t feel well so we aren’t going. Anyone want one?
Yo
/leaves one on window sill
Thank you! Salud!
Just say ‘Tomsula’ three times into a broken mirror. it’s easier.
No, I want two.
Now you can make the piña colada!
Oooooh good call. But I already have these Vieux Carres….
Of course!
I had to google that (it could have been a pastry for all I know). Walter Bergeron invented the Vieux Carres. Victor Bergeron founded Trader Vic’s and probably didn’t invent the Pina Colada but certainly helped to popularize it. He did invent the mai Tai, though.
Yes please.
Some nights, I run down to the Wendy’s before closing time (stupid #NuAIDS, changing food availability hours), buy two large fries, and shame finish them before waddling back in the house.
Tonight? Has been one of those nights.
I usually just get drunk. Save gas and the environment.
I usually do both.
#ShameChampion!
I get drunk and have the fries delivered.
Hit or miss, unless you want to be all emo with a turtleneck and cold, soggy fries
You gotta know where to order from. Actually McDonalds makes the best fries and for delivery they pack everything very well.
Even so, if the delivery is delayed or you just have a shitty delivery person it’s a letdown
Then complain and get it replaced or refunded. Also order with tip set at $1; add tip to appropriate level after good service.
This is why you win at life. And maintain your girlish figure!
And a Frosty to dip them in, right?
u noe how Hippo feels about dairy
/I took a ginger beer from the fridge with me
Oh hell yes, otherwise it’s just done wrong
My Friday night plans fell through, so I guess it’s time for Plan B(ourbon).
No wonder people have such crazy nights on Tequila when they’ve already gone through so many other letters to get there
I bet I have had more conversation about face mites today than you have had all year!
For those of you who don’t know, there are two types of face mites, those that live in pores and those that live in hair follicles. They eat your dead skin and sebum and stuff and crawl out onto your face at night to have sex!
They can only move about 1mm per hour, so every time you’ve woken up suddenly in the middle of the night you have been totally busting in on some mitey sex parties on your face, because they can’t move fast enough to runaway covering their face mite genitals as they go
Face mites!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpg8iziLaA0&ab_channel=AreaEightyNine
Dok’s segued into the “Howard Hughes” stage.
Nah, I’m okay with the face mites, no trying to sterilize my face for me! Hm, I wonder who the pickup line “let’s swap face mites” would work on?
It makes me want to sing the Lords of Acid “Crab Louse” song.
Today is Friday the 13th/Pina Colada/Speling Error Day
Stupid incompetent editors. What awe re paying them four?
*what our we paying
ppl forget that!
Ha! You spelled Collada wrong!
Here’s a banger. RIP Mr. Isely
https://youtu.be/cTaqn8_gMR0?si=7urjOESErTYk9JfX
Isley. 50/50/90, dammit!
The original lead singer of The Cure.
I saw 3/4 of an areola at the grocery store today. Immediately made me think of all of you.
What BFC’s omitting is it was one of his own manboobs, and he was told to leave by the store’s assistant manager.
I think he was in the right, when they say ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’ there’s nothing in there that says how much nipple the shirt needs to cover
Man boobs are the number 1 reason I never work outside without a shirt on.
Not my own moobs mind you, just consideration
I’m sure you have very nice moobs
Totally forgot about these guys.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldQpRMegYc0&ab_channel=WalterTan
https://youtu.be/MZ7vX7xX0G8?si=_ZWcNajoxJXC_33v
Developing JV NFL BLITZ situation in the Team Secular Big Love State game!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie9c6hP6pHo&ab_channel=GolfBits
The military makes all the most novel golf courses. The one in the DMZ is pretty famous. There was one at Kangerlussaq but it hasn’t been maintained since the USAF pulled out and it became the Air Greenland hub. A good chunk has been reclaimed by swamp, and I don’t quite know the rules for when the hole is inside a water hazard
Also known as the “Rex Grossman Effect”. Ben Shapiro has been tireless in his attempts to debunk this as a myth, though.
It’s nice to know that no matter how awry any future dating attempts go, and despite it nawt being my target audience, at least I’ve aroused more women in my time than Ben Shapiro has
Ha, me too. I’m as straight as a Roman road, but I have had my share of ladies try to convince me otherwise.
If you were to go further down, there’s another course by the Santa Monica airport.
Also, Rancho Park has a public course next to Hillcrest
I was going with the country clubs, with the little ol’ pitch & putt right in the middle.
Rancho Park will let anybody play.
This is true.
. . . and go up to MountainGate in the Sepulveda Pass!
My sketchy Grade 10 gym teacher told us that a girl’s ‘magic spot’ was called the Sepulveda Pass.
It’s a good thing LA has all those nice green golf courses, what with all that water they get every year that they wouldn’t otherwise have any use for.
Owens Valley, baybeeeee!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MP2srO7RpeM&ab_channel=ScottyMcCoy
Today was a good day, spent the morning doing farm chores in exchange for a couple free horseback lessons. Have a hiring manager interview with Slack, which I would absolutely love to work for. Getting a cheap buzz from good wine on an empty stomach while also eating a mushroom tart. Have awesome weekend plans. Got packages in the mail.
I’ve barely started this whole midlife crisis thing and it’s already going great! Downloaded some dating apps and started thinking about tattoo designs so woo future!
Haha. Good luck with those dating apps!
I won’t say can’t, but it is unlikely to be worse than my past experiences with such things. And it seems there’s a reasonable ecosystem now, with different apps for different things, from just getting laid up to marrying a farmer. Also possible (indeed probable) I decide it’s way too much effort and ditch it after a week or two.
SUGGESTION – Have DFO Vegas interview and screen potential boos!
Actually, giving y’all my phone and seeing who you select/chat up for me has absolutely no downside I can think of
This is why you’re the King!
Remember to put on your bio:
I hate lies
I don’t loan money
That’s stinky hunk bait right there.
What if I loan money at extortionate rates of interest and use some combination of bombs and enforcers to get my money?
If football is family, then I want a NEW family!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY37u1e02aE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcboWrq4COs&ab_channel=Noodz-DailyClips
I recommend not crashing in a golf cart. They are not built for safety.
Especially not if they’re stolen and you take the speed limiter off
belissima!
Don’t judge me, you knew this was coming
I am both amazed and aroused at the volume of cosplay here
Man cosplay chicks and horror chicks go hand in hand.
Reminds me of the time Mrs. Horatio worked as a ghoul at a haunted house in Hartford.
Horror make-up is a bitch to get out of sheets.
And of course I made a mistake on my post, and it won’t let me edit
“Mistakes are the way we learn and grow. I bought some stamps for Mr. Kaczynski one time because he had some really good ideas!”
-B. Ross, daubing some light grey paint onto the peak of a distant mountain
The Blondie in the third from last picture is amazing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2PjFWtzi3M&ab_channel=THESSALONIAN31N
an all-time Hippo favourite, that moviefilm!
With all the Hollyweirdos we have ’round here, I’m hoping someone had something to do with this moviefilm.
(cough cough submariners cough)
In ’93 I was still in the minor leagues, hacking out political crap in D.C.
Are you secretly Chelsea Clinton?
Don’t be silly. Brick is Monica Lewinsky
Monica in the past few years has been the best
At the start of the Clinton Administration (and even before the inaugural) I dated one of Hilary’s interns. I was fucking Clinton interns before Bill was.
GOOGLE VOICE: [chimes]
RTD: Okay Google, turn off timer.
GOOGLE VOICE: [chimes]
RTD: Okay Google, timer off.
GOOGLE VOICE: [chimes]
RTD: Okay Google, turn off the fucking timer.
GOOGLE VOICE: [chimes]
RTD: I swear to fucking God, if you do not turn off the timer I’m dropping your unresponsive ass directly in the toilet.
GOOGLE VOICE: [chimes]
Butt cleavage is best cleavage
Of course you’d say that.
FACT CHECK: False
Now now, Balls is allowed to have his own opinion no matter how wrong it is
Thank you!
Uh….
If you’re trying not to get hit by a shitty golfer, just stand perfectly still right in front of him.
The bagger Vance method!
You knew this was coming, don’t judge me
https://i.postimg.cc/wjHCHyq8/RDT-20231013-1012521417685345339880543.webp
https://i.postimg.cc/gc0NHcnq/RDT-20231013-0906512433259522822058342.webp
Ayo delete this post
It was me. Why?
I didn’t delete shit. I can’t even if I want to.
But thanks for your contribution!
I think he was asking you to delete it. I’m not sure why. Double the goodness is double the goodness.
In my defense, I’m drunk. Also, there’s no way I would delete this even if I could.
It has..
Unsavory links..
Andy Reid joke?
That link is downright tasty. Very savory.
Plus, it’s not embedded, so we’re good.
Don T, a master at run-hide-fight.
/Yes, I just did my “Violence in the Workplace” workshop