Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Another week is in the books, er, reading devices and everything is as clear as mud. Let’s take a peek.

Fallout:

-Well, no one fell further than Frank Reich and Duce Staley and Josh Johnson. That’s twice that Reich has been fired midseason and twice that Tepper has let go a coach before the season ended. Under Mr. Tepper’s gentle guiding hand the Panthers are a gaudy 30-63. Lions OC Ben Johnson might be a really smart guy-he was targeted for the job last year but after seeing what the team was all about decided to go back to Detroit to the same job. Well played, Johnson.

-Let’s all pump the brakes on the Stillers having solved their offensive woes. Yes, they went for over 400 for the first time in forever but the lone TD was on the ground and the rest of the scoring was field goals by Boswell. Look, you’ve still got Pickett at qb.

-As Reid would say during a fever dream, “Where did all these turnovers come from?” I’m actually talking about the Broncos and their 15(!) takeaways in their last four games. It’s hard to lose when you get that many bonus possessions in your favor.

-The Giants qb Debate has shifted from “Do they actually have one?” to “Which one should they start?”. After the bye, Tyrod is available but he’s all but gone from the team at the end of the year so they should let their super cheap future backup get some seasoning.

To The Game!

Bears/Vikes:

-Does Eberflus make it to the end of the year? Do you know that at 0-9 he hasn’t won a division game yet?

-As expected the Bears are coming off a loss but so is Minny.

-The O’Connell stat that jumped out at me is that he loves one-score games because 22 of the 29 he’s coached here have been wins or losses by 8 or less.

-Presented Without Comment: “We’re not going to be Negative Nancys…” That was said by Josh Dobbs.

-Is Minny working towards a balanced rushing attack (Matty had 81 yards last week) or is Ty Chandler (114 total yards) trying to be the top dog?

It’s all yours.

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Col. Duke LaCross

And Kyler Gordon’s hamstring just exploded. You could see it from the overhead cam. Greaaaaat.

fleshwound_NPG

passtronaut doing his best tribute to soviet cosmonauts by throwing passes that die in orbit

Gatoraids

Dobbs being blown up by his o-ring, err o-line in this Challengering game for him

litre_cola

Just came home from a lovely dinner with Mrs. Cola for her 40th to see the score. This is a big bag of suck isn’t it?

Gumbygirl

It’s worse than it looks.

Gatoraids

those betting the under going wild

Game Time Decision

Happy birthday Mrs Cola

ThePirateSloth

Meh, I’m gonna walk over the dispensary to get some good weed to finish my High Elves domination of Warhammer.

I’m so clever.

https://imgur.com/l5Vr3WA

litre_cola

BY God, Edibles and Warhammer? That’s the ArmedandHammered signal!

Gatoraids

Just glad its Friday tomorrow

ballsofsteelandfury

This is good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just discovered that the new Speedo I ordered is from the “Pride Collection” and has a rainbow logo. This is totally going to wreck my “creepy old man” cred with the college-aged lifeguards.

fleshwound_NPG

youre only a creepy old man if you make a move on them and/or stare at them without sunglasses

Col. Duke LaCross

A SLANT! RUN A FUCKING SLANT AGAINST 0-COVERAGE, GETSY, YOU FUCKING TWATWAFFLE!

fleshwound_NPG

bears want you to watch how dedicated their tank is. second straight game winning the turnover battle significantly, game is still close

fleshwound_NPG

that cringy thing the sex cannon said way back when about wr screens? somebody tell getsy

WCS

Kurt Warner is doing the national radio, and he’s just openly mocking the Bears coaching and offense.

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

miss that bastard

litre_cola

Never disappoints.

fleshwound_NPG

this game is trash as all hell, but at least its going by quick

Horatio Cornblower

I just turned the game on. Has this been what’s been going on for the whole first half?

fleshwound_NPG

feel the power of the B1G West of the NFL, the NFC North

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

Bruins drop their 3rd straight, 5-2 to Columbus.

At least Sully and Tawwmy have the C’s.

WCS

PITCHAHS AHHND CAHHCHAHHAHS

SonOfSpam

WE AHH GONNA SIGN OTAWNEE

fleshwound_NPG

THAT FACKIN SLANT EYED JAHP IS GONNA BE THE NEXT BIG PAHPEE

Sharkbait

Meanwhile New York loses to Buffalo. Laaame

Mr. Ayo
Horatio Cornblower

That’s some Shorsey stuff right there.

fleshwound_NPG

3-3 halftime, winner plays iowa for the B1G west title

Game Time Decision

And loses

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
fleshwound_NPG

fuck off, you know what you did you fucking tools, you got caught admit it https://twitter.com/SInow/status/1729275460922622374?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet

Brick Meathook

That’ll teach you to read Sports Illustrated.

Horatio Cornblower

“According to our initial investigation….”

The fact that they had to do an investigation into whether they were publishing AI-generated articles is really all you need to know.

Canceled SI years ago. This certainly isn’t making me regret that decision.

Gumbygirl

Gumby canceled when they did that April fools joke about the pitcher that could throw a bajillion miles an hour fastball.

Horatio Cornblower

Other writers love that story and hold it up as part of SI’s glory days. As a reader I thought it was complete horseshit. Write your fiction somewhere else.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Write your fiction somewhere else.

Not here, though. The last thing we need is to be outshined by a bunch of competent professionals.

Game Time Decision

We should use AI for some posts

ThePirateSloth

We need a Cameron Dicker and Jaquan Brisker Detective Agency story, in the style of Scooby combined with Miami Vice.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dicker? I don’t even know her!

WCS

THAT INTERCEPTION BY JOSH DOBBS I CALL THE SPACE SHUTTLE COLUMBIA BECAUSE IT WAS TORCHED ON ENTRY BY A FATEFUL BOUNCE

jjfozz

We all know what Colinsworth would say and it would be irrelevant, ridiculous, and enough to make you want to punch your television.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Brother-Tikki-Deadly was actually complaining to me about Collinsworth openly rooting against the Jets and I told him that “if you are letting anything that dickhead says get under your skin, I can’t help you. Just mute the TV. Which you should have been doing anyways.”

litre_cola

He has risen.

/to be the worst of all

fleshwound_NPG

15 yards for being too fat, 1st down vikings

fleshwound_NPG

bears have dominated. vikings with nothing at all. total one-sidedness

only 3-0.

last time people saw a tank this dedicated mario lemieux was about to be on the draft board

WCS

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Gumbygirl

There is not a team in the NHL who wouldn’t have tanked for Lemieux., if they had the opportunity and the total suckitude. The Pens were terrible back then.

Col. Duke LaCross

Jenkins getting hurt fucks us.

jjfozz

Looking at the crowd shots, I’m thinking Minnesotians love cos play

ThePirateSloth

After hanging with Ayo on Thurs, we should have a PNWer DFO hangout, maybe in Seattle at a Mariners game or weekend of games when it’s warm weather. I’d also suggest Portland as a meetup, as I live about 1 mile north of the MODA Center, so a Blazers game could be a thing. Park around my house, walk to MODA while hitting the 3 bars inbetween.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a great idea!

Brick Meathook

I’ll be there. Brick Meathook is mobile. We need another L.A. DFO summit soon. I’m in D.C. until 12/31 (except for the brief period when I’m back in L.A.) so there’s always that. Let’s see some likes on this folks.

Mr. Ayo

I like the Portland idea. Not sure I can survive another of those nights, but I’m willing to die trying.

Gumbygirl

Hero!

litre_cola

Direct flight from here to both places.

fleshwound_NPG

passtronaut throws a spacex rocket

WCS

Titan submersible

fleshwound_NPG

“that was a good call by getsy there”

yes, a play that results in a failed 3rd down conversion and a failed redzone trip. a good call there.

WCS

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jjfozz

Why is this man crying on the golden bachelor? Broken hip? incontinence? loss of hearing?

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes

ThePirateSloth

I was wondering the same thing. I’m never gonna watch it, but why is this man crying? WHO HURT HIM

fleshwound_NPG

brian flores is like the dumbest version of any of the ryans (buddy, rex, rob) and that 4th down megablitz fail shows it

jjfozz

Made this quickie sammich the other day. Yes, I know it was made on potato bread vs a good roll, but I had to make due.

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ThePirateSloth

I wish I could +1 for the cherry pepper spread as well. That shit is the best thing to add to a sammich.

jjfozz

I’d pay an NFL player big bucks to come out with pentagrams drawn on his face instead of those tacky crosses.

BugEyedBoo

Upside-down crosses.

jjfozz

That would work

WCS

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This during those “walking into the stadium in street clothes” montages.

jjfozz

I’m getting that shirt for my mother in law.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Get her this and tell her it’s a cute little dog, encourage her to wear it to Easter mass.

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BugEyedBoo

Paimon

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WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR

/Matt Nagy’s entire left side suddenly goes numb

fleshwound_NPG

good kick

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Col. Duke LaCross

First fucking play from scrimmage. A bubble screen to the TE.

I want Getsy fired so hard they actually light him on fire at Halas Hall right after they do it.

Brocky

Evening

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Col. Duke LaCross

Sir.

jjfozz

Banned for one week from the Ravens subreddit. I emailed the mods back and told them to go fuck themselves.

jjfozz

I’m being asked to “brighten up” a PowerPoint presentation. The deck was sent to me late today. Imagine taking a shit into a PowerPoint presentation, and then you sent it to some idiot. That’s what I got. A slide deck of shit.

Redshirt

Pull a Fight Club and include a frame of a guy’s junk.

jjfozz

Here’s the bad news. The woman I’m working with the most intense busy body I’ve ever worked with. She is constantly honing in on conversation to tell people what they should be doing – even though she doesn’t know. My boss assigned me this project to make sure it looks good. This has all the harbingers of me getting booted for physical assault.

fleshwound_NPG

the matte finish helmet fad was a fun five minutes

jjfozz

I was in the car and I thought, “Why in fuck can I not have anything I want?” Then I realized I have three children and a house and a dog. That’s why.

But, I do have bourbon, beer, books, a pretty cool RC Bronco, a nice watch, more than a few pairs of Vans, an a Macbook Pro.

Still, I really want a Porsche and my own house with four levels dedicated to: books, music, movies, and food. With a nice outside porch that keeps off the rain so you can get fucking hammered and stay dry. But the house would be where no one could ever find me, except for female members of the Olympic swim team.

ballsofsteelandfury

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jjfozz

Don’t forget the firetrucks. I want a fucking firetruck, and a cop car.

BugEyedBoo

Maserati GranTurismo and an autogyro.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“A van and some kids are all any man really needs. Oh, and I guess maybe a few tranquilizers are good to have on hand too. In case they get all…you know…squirmy.” – Marc Trestman

Last edited 11 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
fleshwound_NPG

men, 2020s: “why cant i have my birthright hot tiktok bitchwife like n these vids i watch all day? ill go ask mom upstairs.” https://www.salon.com/2023/11/27/the-insidious-rise-of-tradwives-a-right-wing-fantasy-is-rotting-young-mens-minds/

SonOfSpam

Wait…so that’s NOT all chicks?

jjfozz

Every one of those videos was bullshit.

Redshirt

Bullshit, indeed. If they were, there’s no way their husband would allow them on the internet. Filthy harlots

Redshirt

As a right-winger, a traditional 1950s housewife is not the thing we seek out for mind rotting.

fleshwound_NPG

the ideal outcome: fields and the bears offense improves, leads 17-7 at the half. puts up 13 steady points in 2nd half. eberflus defense implodes late yet again and dobbs adds to the hero legacy. 31-30 vikes. bears build on the tank that is seeing plenty of competition (cards, pats) as of late

tank commander marshall zhukov fields will be victorious yet again

tank-commander-marshall-fields-2.png
Redshirt

I don’t know. Reserve Lieutenant Webelos Marshall Browning had a good first mission himself.

King Hippo

Does daytime cold medicine make anyone else sleepy, like it does Hippo? Again, I think the Sweet Baby Jeebus this is not mandatory.

King Hippo

but let the record show that Hippo foresees the Bearistocrats! somehow play competently tonight, and probably even win. NO, Other Hippo and I will not be going to rehab (ah said no no NO!)

jjfozz

Well, last night’s game was a fucking debacle. FOUR FUCKING TURNOVERS AND YOU GET THREE FUCKING POINTS? Well, it made for good trolling on the Ravens subreddit. Those guys are such homers.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, it’s not as bad as the Jets defense picking up a turnover right before the half and it netting the team negative seven points.

Redshirt

Redshirt’s Brain: “If you make a Third Reich joke, I will stroke!”

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

I’m going to post Third Reich jokes until Redshirt’s penis is bleeding.

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Redshirt

Wrong kind of stroke.

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Brick Meathook

Well my goodness gracious.

Brick Meathook

I didn’t know that DonT and blaxabith were white guys until I met them. Go figure.

Redshirt

I’m going to Hell.

IMG_2747.jpeg
King Hippo

If the P*ts hire him next, the pieces will TOTES fit.

Senor Weaselo

I would say it would be a Fourth (in the Division) Reich.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Uncle Jack is still pants. Agree with #SpiritAnimal fully. It’s all Tomlin Voodoo.

King Hippo

Is Black Powder a little bit Ned Flanders? a-diddly

SonOfSpam

Alopeciaroony!

Don T

In Simpsons español, peladirijillo

BugEyedBoo

More 3D printer stuff from friends:

=====================================

I’ll second the notion of anything from Prusa.

The various cheap clones are cheaper and functional to varying degrees, and most of them probably won’t burn the house down, but it seems like those are only actually good if you want to get into trying to build your own printer one part at a time as you replace all the junk.

Good youtube channel for beginners: https://www.youtube.com/@MakersMuse

On Maker’s Muse we aim to Empower Creativity through Technology.
3D Design and Printing Tutorials, Reviews and Projects.
Join the Maker’s Muse Community – https://www.makersmuse.com/maker-s-muse-community
3D Printing Quick Start Guide – https://www.makersmuse.com/fdm-fff-3d-printing-quick-start-guide
3D Printer Buyers Guide – https://www.makersmuse.com/purchasing-your-first-3d-printer-fdm-fff
3D Printing Essentials – https://www.amazon.com/shop/makersmuse
3D Printing Models – https://www.makersmuse.com/store
Recommended 3D Printers – https://www.makersmuse.com/3dprinters

see also: https://www.youtube.com/@CNCKitchen

CNC Kitchen
Hi, I’m Stefan and I create educating and entertaining videos for you which feature 3D printing, CNC, CAD, Lasers, Arduino and much more tec stuff!

and https://www.youtube.com/@MadeWithLayers
YouTubeYouTube
Made with Layers (Thomas Sanladerer)
Everything about 3D Printing and Making! Build guides, tutorials, tips and reviews around the new generation of consumer and prosumer 3D printers (and more)!

jjfozz

Could I build a vintage WW1 bomber so I could bomb Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and Cincinnati before game days?

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a bk109 question

litre_cola

Yeah, come in early on a Saturday Fozz.

BugEyedBoo

WW1 zeppelin bomber, because it’d be cooler.

Sharkbait

If Addison could go nuclear tonight, it would be very much appreciated

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DJ Moore for 3 TDs, please.

Sharkbait

Also yes

ballsofsteelandfury

I really do not think Kenny Pickett is a bad QB. One thing that gets forgotten in all the “lack of offense” is that he hasn’t turned the ball over.

He holds the Steelers all-time record for consecutive throws without an interception. And he is adding to it every new throw.

That’s a big part of why they’re 7-4.

Last edited 11 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Gumbygirl

He threw a beeeyoutiful 40 yard pass. On the fucking money. I think he’s capable, let’s hope this Canada shitshow hasn’t completely fucked up his development. I’m nowhere near ready to write him off.

Don T

Hate to be Capt. Obvious here, but
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WCS

Pre-season Kenny was pretty solid. I’m not a KP Yinzer homer. I AM a Yinzer homer, and want the starting quarterback of my team to perform reasonably well.

I remember Matt Madagascar saying something at the beginning of the season about not wanting to “show too much” or something along the lines of not trying too much with the schemes and play calling.

We saw the video of Matt Mauritania when Kenny audibled into the eventual game-winning throw against Bawlmer earlier this season. Matt Mali looked pensive at best, disappointed at worst. Pickett threw out whatever the original call was from Matt Moldova, and just did something.

The talk post-game today was how “fresh” and easy it was to communicate this week. Matt Myanmar might have been another Josh McDaniels-in-waiting.

Last edited 11 months ago by WCS
Gumbygirl

So you’re saying that Matt Mozambique was the problem?

Last edited 11 months ago by WCS
Gumbygirl

You’re. Fuck.

WCS

😉

Gumbygirl

Thank you, my darling dear!

BugEyedBoo

My take on the Steelers game was that the offense at least looked like an NFL offense, as opposed to whatever shitshow they were running out there prior to Matt Mauritania’s firing.

Redshirt

The offense did look better but they were playing the Bengals without Burrow. It’s a good first step but they’ll need to score more if they want to keep it up.

But I am impressed by Pickett. He realized what many rookies QBs don’t: you’re not paid to be a hero; you’re paid to throw the ball to your teammates.

ballsofsteelandfury

And we were playing the Browns last week with a rookie QB and only got 10 points.

Matt Mozambique was the problem.

WCS

*A* problem.

I’m not sold on the HIGHEND TALENT on the line or the receivers. Dionte is one-and-half Vontez Burficts away from being AB without any of the actual talent. I’m sure that’s a great influence on Pickens. The line can plow for 15 yards on a single run play, and then let Pickett be folded neatly in half by Maxx Crosby or Garrett.

You have to cut out the tumor that spreading the shit in the first place, and the Stillers seemed to have done that. The question is how much was left and can it be stopped without having to blow it all it up again?

ballsofsteelandfury

This is true. Not sure if they keep Dionte this off-season. I see them drafting a WR like they always do and trading DJ.

The OL needs major help although they’ve honestly been better than I expected. Then again, I expected a turnstile.