Your Lions/Niners Open Thread

Let’s get at it again!

Lions/Niners:

-Injury Report: Detroit’s Hendon Hooker is listed as questionable (tooth). I did not make that up.

-Keenan 175/2, Nacua 181/1, Doubs 95, Thielen 107/1, Moore 96/1, Watson 94/1, Olave 119, Jefferson 141/1, Lamb 227/2 and Jefferson again 192/1. If you’re a #1 wr you just love playing against the Lions pass D. Will one of (or both?) Aiyuk and hobbled Deebo have a game? The Magic 8 Ball says, “Are you kidding me?”

-As you suspected, Detroit has the very worst pass defense left in the playoffs. How did they get this far then? Well, they have a habit of matching or exceeding their opponents splash plays. As a team they finished with the 2nd-most explosive plays (gains of 20+ yards) with (ugh!) 69.

-Speaking of explosive, Gibbs should have himself a game, not so much Montgomery. The reasoning behind this is that the Niners surrender 5.4 ypc on runs outside the tackles. Since week 15 they are 25th in total yards allowed and 28th in yards per carry allowed.

-San Fran is in it’s 19th Conference Championship game-that’s the most of any team.

-Stepping Up: DE Aidan Hutchinson has more than doubled his pass rush win rate in the playoffs.

-The perception is that being a 7th rounder Purdy is a dink and dunker that doesn’t take chances but guess who led all his peers in air yards per attempt?

-So I came across a site (Sumer Sports) that attempts to quantify how good a coach is at in-game decision-making. They call it Win Probability Added Over Expected which is a mouthful. Of the remaining Leaders Of Men left in the playoffs, Campbell is the best and it’s not even close. (I’ll link in the comments) Not bad for a knee-biting son of a bitch. Btw, on this list Shanny Jr. is a bottom.

It’s yours to do with as you wish.

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Doktor Zymm

The last time the Lions won a road playoff game, the song “Net Als Toen” won the Eurovision song contest. “Net Als Toen” translates to “Just like then”…will today be JUST LIKE THEN??

WCS

Bothers me websites I used in college are considered “the Wild West Years” of the interwebz; AOL is the Roman Empire., which I also apparently lived through.

Doktor Zymm

I mean, the roads WERE better back then, and the lead poisoning was totally overstated

SonOfSpam

The first PC in my house was a Commodore Pet with a cassette drive.

We used cassette tapes to install/save programs.

Monochrome maybe 12-13 inch screen.

Doktor Zymm

I want to write a LOGO program that draws a Cybertruck. Shouldn’t need more than 8 lines of code

SonOfSpam

“error…design is too stupid”

SonOfSpam

THING OF BEAUTY

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

WCS

PRAISE SHANK’LOR

Sharkbait

He Bass’d it!

SonOfSpam

Don’t let Rev see that

herodotus450

If I was a hip young ad exec, I’d put all of my commercials during the championship games this week, make people feel like they missed out if they only watch the super bowl. Could probably buy a whole quarter for the same price too

Doktor Zymm

Hopefully that Lions player is okay, unlike Raoul Wallenberg who died in a Soviet prison around the last time the Lions won a road playoff game

Sharkbait

Keep the lions facts coming!!

Doktor Zymm

You betcha!

fleshwound_NPG

that apple vision pro is awesome at delivering technology thats amazing and amazing at making you look like a fucking dork waving your arms everywhere

Doktor Zymm

Damn, the Lions really let that one through, similar to how the Guddu Barrage (which was built the same time the Lions last won a road playoff game) let through flood waters into Pakistan in 2010

WCS

Dok’s hanging with Dennis Miller tonight.

NotShogunButShogun

Boy I tell you, that was like me in the 80’s when I was funny.
Anyone remember me?

NotShogunButShogun

Hey Chachi…I only had the one babe.

SonOfSpam

Was just thinking about the Guddu Barrage and how it might relate to this game.

Doktor Zymm

Friend of a friend is from Detroit. They got nosebleeds to this game for $700 apiece

WCS

You can buy like three and half houses in Franklin Park for that.

WCS

“Gimme somma that!”

— Michael I., TX

Petronel

I figure that, at this point, most of the people in the luxury boxes are techbros with comped tix who know nothing about football and don’t care.

Sharkbait

I feel like that’s luxury boxes/seats everywhere now.

Doktor Zymm

In a nutshell, this is why I haven’t been to a Niners game despite living here for the past 5.5 years

SonOfSpam

I just do not understand.

Either that’s the best you can afford, and you’re spending $1400 plus other expenses which is a huge waste, or you have “fuck you” money and you should get better seats.

But then I’m a lazy-ass SoCal fan, so

Doktor Zymm

They live in the Bay Area, they wanted to go to the game and I assume the marginal cost for better seats wasn’t worth it

SonOfSpam

Yeah, it’s a priority thing. As much of a sports fan as I am, just have never been able to justify that kind of expenditure. I mean, that’s “take a short vacation” money, but I guess you can view that experience the same way.

Doktor Zymm

It’s probably less than half of their rent/mortgage as a reference, and depending on the time of year about the same as a flight in premium economy to Hawai’i

rockingdog

Found a funny;

bro you haven’t lived until you’ve experienced ego death in a costco

Petronel

Well, may as well get that our of the way.

Doktor Zymm

That was just like in “Throne of Blood” the Akira Kurosawa film that came out the last time the Lions won a road playoff game!

WCS

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Last edited 9 months ago by WCS
Sharkbait

Ok then.

ballsofsteelandfury

GO FUCK LIONS!

The Maestro

FUCK LIOUNS OF DESTINY???

Senor Weaselo

Good guys, bad guys, and knee biting, as far as the eye can see

SonOfSpam

Oh, so that’s what Jameson Williams can do.

Well then.

fleshwound_NPG

JUGGALODOWN

Doktor Zymm

What is the physio tape down the back of each arm supposed to do? Elbow? Tricep? Look cool?

Petronel

Go-faster stripes

SonOfSpam

Like speedholes

NotShogunButShogun

Yes.

Also turf owwies.Field turf still hurts more than grass.
(Do not ask how I know. Irsay has tapes.)

Brocky

Wtaf

SonOfSpam

“Some of the best peepholes in the industry”

Doktor Zymm

It seems having creepily straight teeth is now the thing Americans are known for internationally

fleshwound_NPG

usa: worst healthcare anywhere, but our teeth are not like the british!

NotShogunButShogun

Looking good is better than dying amirite?!

WCS

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Sharkbait

Think and Chiefs fans will abscond with a flag from Baltimore this evening?

Sharkbait

Any*

Petronel

CERO! MIEDO!

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(ohgoddon’tletusembarrassourselvestoobadly)

Gumbygirl

I’ll be happy for you if they win, ‘nel, but I’m hoping for the LioUns to Fuck today!

Petronel

If it were anyone else, I’d be right there with ya. 🙂

King Hippo

I made plain rice for dinner instead of going to Zaxby’s. No reason to be decadent.

Sharkbait

We did pizza and wings.

King Hippo

Admittedly, that sounds much, much better

fleshwound_NPG

moms leftover chili for lunch
taco bell for dinner

will be kommenting from the toilet late in the 3rd quarter

WCS

Gonna be many Courics in the morning/early afternoon.

Petronel

My dinner of (hopefully NFC) champions: chips and quest

Petronel

Queso, dammit (posting too quickly my ass)

SonOfSpam

“That’s fucking wild!”

-J. Flacco

Doktor Zymm

Can’t believe they got this guy for the anthem!
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fleshwound_NPG

same could probably be said for the nfc’s “george halas and his franchise failed to find a quarterback after world war 2 trophy”

SonOfSpam

Hoping he mixes in Despacito

SonOfSpam

That was actually very good, dude can sing.

Redshirt

.

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Doktor Zymm

Commercial:
“I’m not sure how a little tiny prick can be so powerful”

*Farve blushes*

Horatio Cornblower

https://twitter.com/marcdavissports/status/1751670705878405366

He married a third cousin, not a first or second.

WCS

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SonOfSpam

Dude, we have a Monarch RIGHT HERE and you make that joke?

herodotus450

He said Milkweed is for pussies

Brocky

Place your bets while you can!

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WCS

Where’s Andy on the all-time coach tier now? Bill Walsh level?

Last edited 9 months ago by WCS
fleshwound_NPG

like walsh he has to get title #3, and his coaching tree to reach god-tier

Brocky

But reid is part of walsh’s coaching tree….

And then the debate of wether or not Bill Walsh is part of Paul browns coaching tree or sid Gillman’s, who gets the credit there?

fleshwound_NPG

just like walsh is part of brown’s tree, andy is a part of mike holmgren’s tree, whom is part of walsh’s tree

SonOfSpam

Higher than where he is on the all-time father tier

Doktor Zymm

And they aren’t even picking the fun stuff out of Wikipedia.

The Lions haven’t won an away playoff game since the inauguration of the Ibirapuera Planetarium but has anyone mentioned that? NO BECAUSE THEY ARE BORING

herodotus450

Sounds like something in Hippo’s medicine cupboard

The Maestro

The Hedley Lamarr Hunt Trophy

Horatio Cornblower

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Doktor Zymm

If my flight from Chicago on Friday is any indication there will be a lot of Lions fans in the stands.

I’ll be happy with either team winning here, as long as they don’t roll over and let the Chiefs stomp their nuts for no damn reason

herodotus450

You’re lucky there aren’t very many famous chain link-based historical references, cause I was about to ROAST you for being a lazy linker.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sigh. I wish I had the power to switch Andy Reid’s coaching skills with his parenting skills.

SonOfSpam

I swear I didn’t see this before my comment above

Horatio Cornblower

The missing ingredient is “caring”

Senor Weaselo

Sumer Sports has a 2000-word story of why Gilgamesh is a FRAUD, ppl forget that.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a deep (archaeological) cut

herodotus450

EnkiDO pick up this sleeper for this week’s fantasy matchups!

The Maestro

Gonna be a shortage of clay tablets in Akkad when people start giving their responses to that column…

Redshirt

These Lions and 49ers, I call them Jyn Erso and Leia Organa because they are our last hope against a seemingly unstoppable empire.

Downfield Matriculator

I am in the Bay Area and hoping for a Lions win to reduce the insufferability quotient around here. Bankruptcy filings by X and Meta wouldn’t hurt either.

WCS
NotShogunButShogun

I care not about division. I care about entertainment. That said, go FUCKLIOUNS. I can’t bear the stupidity of the alternative.

ballsofsteelandfury

You gotta root for a team that’s affectionately given the “Fuck” adjective, right?

Niners will win.

Sharkbait

Go fuck lions!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whatever happens tonight, the city of Santa Clara is safe from riots.

NotShogunButShogun

New Balance and Hokas don’t make good curbstompers

King Hippo

NNNNNIIIIIIICCCCCEEEEEE!

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