There being no NFL whatsoever, a man is grateful for a full EPL slate, along with the conclusion of the Afrikan Euros’ Flacco Eight. Details? Here are a sparse few.
Everton is your wake and bake, home to Spurs (7:30, USA). Richarlison returns to Goodison again, he will get a nice bit of applause from the emotionally exhausted home support. Not even certain I will set the alarm for this, 2023-24 is merely to be endured (from a Toffee standpoint). 17th or bust, lads.
Trashbirds (fresh off a midweek thrashing) host Palace in the televised 10:00 match (USA), but one can also stream the White Power Derby (White Lives Matter against Mighty Whitey) or Geordie Arabia snuff filming Martin Prince’s Lutes. YMMV. I might just nod off for a bit.
Spotlight Dance is rather putrid, but Afrika will fill the gap (PHRASING) nicely. It’s Villa away to Team Knifey, just in case (12:30, Peacock). The visitors are struggling to maintain their early form, while Knifey are in that improved-but-still-not-sufficient mode. I doubt they have another gear to enable them to survive.
MOAR follows on Sunday, but I will skip it due to all the Klopp ball-washing.
From the Dark Continent, Nigeria and Run DRC are already through to Wednesday’s raging semis. Who shall join?
Mali and the home Cote d’Ivoire are the first Flacco battle (12:00, BeIn), and it should be tasty. Mali have never trailed in the tournament, as one of many surprise packages. The Elephants were left for dead, having sacked their manager after the group stage. But…they’ve clung on like the most wipe-resistant of dingleberries. You’ll start to get “Team of Destiny” vibes if they win this one.
Next, we get the perhaps-most-surprising-package Lesser Springboks, taking on the punching way-above-their-weight Cape Verde (3:00, BeIn). Their entire nation (a chain of volcanic islands) has less people than Hippo’s home COUNTY. Yet they are playing expressive, attacking, top-class footy. I hate cheering against the ‘Boks, but needs must. Perhaps we can at least get a sexual conquest story from R-T-D??
Despite the fact that all I’ve done today is sit around eating and napping while various machines move me around, I’m feeling very lazy and might just go to the pub for a beer and meatpie then grab some supplies for my hotel room and have a glass of wine on my balcony
Doing fuckall wears my ass out, on a daily basis. It’s good death practice ,, ppl forget that!
#VacationGoals
Mince and cheese pie and a pint obtained! Yum, and only $20 NZ, which is only $12 in real money!
Mrs. Horatio is in Southern CA tonight, so if any of you happen to see an attractive woman, about 5’7″ and likely high, floating by in the Biblical flood torrents you’re about to get, I would appreciate it if you could fish her out of the water.
I’ve got an appropriately sized dinghy heading her way.
You son of a bi…Oh, “dinghy.” Well, uh, this is awkward.
It’s a really lovely day in Auckland, gonna go walk around as soon as I can be bothered to put my shoes back on
Sounds like a protest is going on, I wonder what sort of things they protest here? I can’t quite make out what they’re chanting about from my hotel balcony
Go definitely not steal End Game for us!
The Mrs and I were talking about places to visit in a few years and this was on this list. She wants to fly with those pods on a plane
First few hours here are great, will update as I go!
Was there really no activity here during the entire time I was down in the basement finding studs, taking measurements, making sure everything was level, and rehanging all the things we had to take down during the renovations?
Because that kind of stuff takes me a long time. Although there was a surprising lack of injuries and/or property damage. So far.
This is what happens when neither Balls nor Hippo can be arsed to draft a nite thread.
Shit, were we supposed to do that???
I can’t even hang a picture correctly.
ESPN reporting that the Cowboys are talking to Mike Zimmer about the DC position.
HERE COMES MR. WINKLES!!!
Jerry and Stephen Jones agreeing about what is best for the Cowboys and their success going forward is the gift that won’t stop giving.
-sigh-
RIPSNARLTEARRENDGNASHGNASH!!!
“Fuck you, dog.”
— Micah Parsons
I thought Mike Zimmer was dead.
Turns out he was just in Kentucky.
Is this where we talk about the Duke-UNC game? Me personally I’m rooting for the NC State rifle team, but they have yet to appear.
THIS. And it was indeed pretty badass to have a Rifle team (and they were good, too). COVID killed it.
I CALL THE HOUSTON COUGARS HOUSTON BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN GETTING MANHANDLED RIGHT FROM THE START OF THE PROCEEDINGS!
Here’s a banger
https://youtu.be/FV6olDJQRjs?si=CAcD8_lyLvHK4bw_
Homer Simpson approves!
There was that period in the 60’s (intermittently in the 70’s-The Hustle) where bands tried to create new dance crazes so that their song would be a hit. The most recent example I can think of is The Quad City DJ’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPz16LHTtpo&ab_channel=StitchVideoz-2-Productions
Also the 90s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWaymcVmJ-A&pp=ygUIbWFjYXJlbmE%3D
As president of the Oversight Committee, I approve this comment.
Former resident of the Quad Cities right here.
COME ON AND SLAM
AND WELCOME TO THE JAM
My bar:
That’s a low bar, I tell you what!
Thank you! Nothing but the finest for me.
Prefer the Nutty Buddy bar, if I’m honest.
With opiates, I assume.
is really just gauche without smgdh
It’s that time again, oh lawd!
Has anyone done the burger challenge at Canadian brew house? I’m going to give it a go. I think a little weed and a few shots and I can handle 5 lbs of burger and poutine.
https://thecanadianbrewhouse.com/rita-challenge-record-breaker/
I had poutine at La Banquisse in Montreal, where it originated. It was very good!
RON HOWARD VOICE: It was not good at all
However, the Montreal style hot dog there was outstanding.
Like Ron Howard would know what good poutine would taste like, smgdh…
If you like it, good for you.
Dude. That’s a ton of food!
You get a whole hour though. That’s like time for 2 separate meals. I think I can do it. If I don’t at least I’ll feel like shit.
I’d try that. And fail. But think of the leftovers!
The poutine will kill you with the carbs but that’s a big goddamn burger.
I would pay to see this.
KRAKEN!!!
We have a birthday party to go to tonight at a karaoke bar.
Top songs you like to sing at karaoke (whether or not under duress), go!
I do a smoldering, sensual version of Hello Goodbye.
By the Beatles, Brick’s favorite band?
Yup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDdy1MBckSI
Amish.
It doesn’t even have to be in the system, you just do it to Gangsta’s Paradise.
Jump Around
Paradise By The Dashboard Light
A Pirate Looks at Forty
Read My Mind by The Killers, complete with lead singer embellishments.
Addicted to Love… Chick’s dig it.
Nobody Home by Pink Floyd.
“My Way” because Sinatra was an ass
Here’s a “Coney Island” chili dog from Lafayette in downtown Detroit.
Probably not the healthiest thing in world, but it was pretty good. Use in moderation.
Are you using it orally or rectally?
Both?
Are those the only two choices?
The Sepulveda Tunnel underneath the south runways at LAX in Los Angeles. You can tell it’s northbound by the lighting.
I live very near to these tunnels.
Oh, who am I kidding, I actually live in the tunnels.
This you?
No, he’s one of these guys, singing “Tonight! Woman! We’ll be driving down Sepulveda!”
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR_SM5OR1c5oi3z_v0ASQQNZdHKy3f7HZQpjQ&usqp=CAU
Right underneath the runway.
“Being alive. Pfft.”
-Ashley Babbitt
Here’s a set of six new spark plugs I bought a while back, plus a gauge/gapper. I have no idea why I bought the gapper because I had the mechanics across the street install the spark plugs (I assume they gapped them to proper specifications). My truck runs okay so I guess they did. I still have that gauge; I never even unwrapped it.
Does this mean you’ll be our sub’s engine room?
Here’s a self portrait I took in front of Jackson Pollock’s masterpiece One: Number 31 (1950) at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. I think it’s pretty good.
Actually, the caption is incorrect. This is the National Gallery of Art East Wing in Washington DC.
I still own that hat though, and I’m wearing it right now.
Equal time demand one for Lesser Springboks:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2GVlQkn4Q
Oh, with, not on. My bad.
sheeeeeiiiiitttt, I’m so out of practice now, I’d probably finish trying to get my jeans off
NOT THAT THAT’S EVAR HAPPENED TO HIPPO BEFORE
Vulcan-friendly song for Cabo Verde:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyVSKydUxKk
Here’s a bunch of opiates on top of a Little Debbie box. This will play well down south.
DAMN SKIPPY it will so do
This here Mali side, I call them David Carradine because they choked and choked until finally they die.
My 1920 Western Electric candlestick phone. It absolutely still works perfectly:
Didn’t I just see that AT&T is trying to get rid of landlines?
Cmon VAR. Do the funniest thing possible here.
YES! HAHAHA!
I KNOWED yew was the Sickos Committee
Fightin’ Horatios (Netball Division) didn’t play particularly well until mid-way through the 2nd half, were without one of their best players, got road-ref’d more than a couple of times, and won by 13.
They are frighteningly good this season, and when they get upset in the Sweet 16 by some dipshit team that shoots 32-37 from 3 I am going to be very, very disappointed.
In fairness, it’s February St. John’s, where a promising season that might make the tourney for the first time this century (First Four don’t count) falls apart en route to an inevitable CBI appearance.
10-pachyderm Elephants have equalized in the last minute of normal time. SCENES!!
It’s 6:50 am on Feb 4th here, so from the future I can tell you it’s pretty much like the present. Also the future has good coffee
Hey Dok
You’re the submarine skipper. We have an enemy destroyer at 20 miles (which is easily in our range if we do the targeting math on the plot correctly). He’s looking for trouble but so are we. It’s all about mathematics, even with the targeting computers, the skipper still needs to finalize the solution.
Therefore, my question is:
Which socks would you recommend? This is not a trivial question. This is the “small detail” difference between winners and losers.
Lightweight alpaca crew length obviously
Lightweight alpaca, crew length, aye. I’m on it, skipper
Also rugby Six Nations tourney on, although Scotland-Wales just finished up with Wales coming up just one point short ending 27-26 after being down 21-3 around 55 minutes. They do get a bonus point for losing by less than 7 though
Looking the the schedule for the 2nd round, it’ll be 2 good matches and then the Irish murderkilling Italy
I just watched the Netflix documentary about the last Six Nations.
Italy is…not good.
I’m not sure if they let them into the Six Nations to encourage them or to have an easy win. Either way, Ireland looked fantastic against France yesterday so I’m guessing they put up at least 70 on Italy
Got some running around to do before “Storm Watch 2024! The Revenge of the Atmospheric River!”
In other words I have to go to the store before it rains.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXdYBuZa25o
Big East refs forgot to bring their whistles to the game.
The spread’s 3.5, so take UConn by 3!
The refereeing in the Big East leaves a lot to be desired.
Well, no students today means I get to do the simple things, like go to the bank to change my savings account to a higher rate and put flyers out because goddammit I need students so that way I don’t spend my Saturdays puttering around the place I work three other days a week learning how they fix saxophone bells (even if it’s cool).
/I’m available for lessons on Zoom and FaceTime as well, inquire within for both violin and viola!
//Dick joke
I want to see a Senor Weaselo flyer soliciting students.
Add that you know Brick Meathook on the flyer and business will double.
We’re still not at Dan Smith levels.
I used to play violin as a kid, switched to bass in 7th grade then stopped playing altogether in 9th. Thinking of teaching myself harmonica, a much more portable instrument
it looks like Mali’s kit is covered in radioactive jism
OK, that was a hell of a goal for CP. Probably too late but still, hell of a goal.
And Trashbirds with the ridiculous pass to seal things and encourage me to get going on my to-do* list.
*blow off everything I planned to do and watch UConn-St. John’s
shouldn’t you and Weaselo shame bet this??
Is he a St. John’s alum? I don’t think I knew that.
Madre Weaselo is the alum, and Casa Weaselo is *checks Google Maps* four miles down the road.
Sure am glad USA is clinging to this wipe-out of Crystal Palace and not switching over to what appears to be a game gone completely plaid in Newcastle.
I don’t think they have the legal right to switch to “bonus coverage” until the final whistle
Yes, the British Empire was built on respecting the legal rights of others.
Lord Rhodes is gonna have your ass for that one.
I’m trying to switch over, but Peacock is shitting itself just like the Lutards
My word! These Lu-tards are certainly exhibiting their dominance over the sportswashing Saudi barcodes at the minute. Would anyone care to bet on how many beheadings there will be in Riyadh tonight if this scoreline holds?
Martin Prince skips merrily through the Clubhouse as his Lutes somehow take the lead…
You know it’s going great for Crystal Palace when the announcers are essentially comparing your medical staff unfavorably to that of the San Diego Chargers.
Oh thank God
https://twitter.com/ianbremmer/status/1753536390690664657
Who. Fuckin. Cares.
BFC cares. He’s a Swiftie. I once made a comment that she had a “dowdy body” and I caught hell for that from him.
I’d pay to see Ozzy chase her off stage. I don’t wish bad things on anyone, but do like to see the overexposed playfully trolled.
Actually, I admire Taylor Swift, and also Lady Gaga and even Madonna. All three are very talented women, and they made the most of themselves in an extremely tough business, and I honestly respect that.
On the other hand, I was blessed with incredible natural good looks that allowed me to coast through life unhindered, but that’s another story.
…
That was more about body shaming women than being a swiftie but I respect her.
Also hilarious that the embassy had to do this, clearly the locals were afraid she was gonna bail on the show in favor for the Owl.
So basically the Japanese understand how the International Date Line works and Americans don’t? Yeah, that tracks
A day that will live in infamy for most if not all of our Canuckistani contingent.
https://twitter.com/hockey_samurai/status/1753814099342090605
When I worked in Montreal (right before the pandemic) I would always go to a real working-class bar after work, and of course they would have hockey on the TV and I became kind of a fan, and I learned how to swear in Quebecois because the the Habs would lead for two periods and then lose it at the end.
Tabarnak!
Some of you travel a lot and some of you don’t, but Delta Airlines has probably the stupidest fucking website in the industry, and I’m a Silver Medallion customer (which is not as good as a Gold Medallion customer [and don’t even think about being Platinum]).
I shouldn’t have to tolerate this, yet I do. You know why? because Silver Medallion status doesn’t mean shit.
I think the entire airline industry has gone Greyhound. Air travel is now simply a dick dance to be endured and over with as quickly as possible.
Thus, I am thinking I will drive Detroit in April, rather than fly (and then rent a car to get to London, ON). At least I control how badly I drive, and will be alone with SiriusXM.
I’m a big fan of long distance road trips.
At Decilitres swim lessons. It is 90 degrees in here. I think I am having visions. Maybe a bit too much boozey booze last night
No, Fulham really is winning.
Both of my teams, Napoli and Newcastle are stuck in the middle of the tables in 9th place. Way to make these blase winter days even more uninteresting.
The few hours of yard work today have me comfortably numb. Time to put on a Floyd album and make a pizza.
Home crowd seems a bit antsy at the Palace What’s Made of Crystal.
Not putting up much of a fight, but I still really love this tune:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF45jk0_SJc
Trashbirds taking their frustrations out all over the Palace
While Uncle Woy smells a fart. He who smelt it, dealt it, Woy.
This is a pleasant surprise. Mighty Whitey up 2 at Turf Moor?
Goddamn, Hippo loves a scrappy point off of Spurs.
#DoucheStrong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmuNAODlj4A
Who wrote this title, one Governor Rhodes?
I am hopeful to extract a “Good morning, fellow Christians” out of him!
Because AFRIKA! Likes the way we swing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_5f6S4dpHo
/Wifey was away for a few days
Wifey: [looks at chart] “Did you give Molly her pills at the designated times while I was away?”
Me: “No I didn’t-those checkmarks on each day indicate when I forgot or didn’t bother.”
Rooting for Cabo Verde
https://youtu.be/mKf1x3CALAE?si=kDzRZQJdbCzuireD
Is that photo of Old Rock?
This gives me a great idea for CBS – Old Sheldon! It can be just 30 minutes each week of him fingerpainting with his poo.