TGIF! The Superb Owl await us. Onwards!
Survival – Personal Edition
Let’s say you’re driving a little eagerly and are about to roll your car. Here’s how to survive that.
- Once the vehicle is about to roll, pull your feet away from the pedals and tuck them near the seat to prevent having your ankles broken.
- Remove your hands from the steering wheel. As the car rolls over to its wheels again, it will send a lot of feedback through the wheel and could hurt your wrist and thumbs.
- Cross your arms on your chest and grip your clothing. This will prevent your hands from flying out the window and getting severed.
- Once the vehicle stops rolling, brace yourself with your feet and count to sixty to make sure the rolling is actually over. Then let go of your clothing and let one of your arms dangle. This will let you know which way is up.
- Once oriented, use that free hand to check for injuries. If you find any injuries, stay put as trying to move will only hurt you more.
- If you are not injured, use that free hand to fully brace yourself. Make sure your feet and free hand can fully support your weight, then unbuckle your seat belt.
- Now get out of the car. Check if the car doors open first. If not, try to roll down the windows. Lastly, use a metal object to break the glass.
- Once out, get away from the vehicle as there may be a fuel leak and you don’t want to be around that.
There you go! Call the insurance company and get to car shopping.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
I don’t usually have an after dinner martini, but I kind of fancy an after dinner martini.
I watched Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning this evening. Tom Cruise is running! Hayley Atwell is looking pretty good. It’s kind of silly, but they’re all kind of silly. I guess I have to keep an eye out for Part 2.
Is there a movie where Tom Cruise doesn’t run?
He didn’t run much in Top Gun: Maverick.
Motherfucker could get social security.
There was this strange glowing yellow orb in the sky this morning and I wasn’t sure what it was.
I’ve had enough rain now thank you very much.
Still it’s Friday and there are things to cook!
They are securing all the things, the things are possibly hatches and they may be battening them. Supposed to be rougher seas tonight and tomorrow on the way to the Chathams. Should be like being rocked to sleep tonight, and if lots of people are seasick tomorrow then it’ll be easy to have a nice antisocial lunch where I just read and have some soup by myself!
I was never one for cruises for that reason
I’m lucky in that I’ve never had any form of motion sickness, if anything it just makes me sleep better
We few, we fortunate few.
Brick, any advice for the Good Doktor?
Get a fresh cup of coffee and ride it out. Stay standing and get your sea legs. Or stay in your rack, but don’t fall out.
Remember: You volunteered to be there.
Here’s some more advice for Dok, out on the high seas:
Motion sickness is caused by a disassociation in your brain between what your eyes are seeing and what the fluids in your inner ear are sensing. It confuses everything and you start getting sick.
If you have a window on your ship nearby, look at the horizon, and stand up while you’re doing it. Like I said, get your sea legs and a fresh cup of coffee. Don’t sit down, that’s the worst thing you can do in heavy weather.
Stand up, hold on to something with one hand (and drink your coffee with the other), and look at the horizon, and let the ship move around you. That will defeat the disassociation I spoke of earlier, and you’ll be fine. You’ll be an old salt.
I’ve never been in a real storm, but I’ve been through the Drake and sailed around the Windward islands as well as a bit of the N Atlantic so a bit of wind and high seas is familiar and no issue. Although trying to use a treadmill with anything above 2 m waves is a bitch, so it’s a good excuse nawt to gym
2 m waves (6 feet)? Try going through 40 foot seas. It’s a joyride.
Jesus, Dok.
Be safe out there and mind the scuppers!
https://hard-drive.net/hd/entertainment/every-best-picture-winner-ranked-by-how-good-a-muppets-version-would-be/
I mean, we can only really know if they actually make muppets versions of all of them
Now I kind of want to see the Muppet take on the final scene of “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.”
Congratulations white people! You’ve gentrified Lunar New Year to the point Senorita Weaselo got disillusioned and we went to get dessert in Little Italy.
Seriously, a solid 70% of the people we saw in Chinatown were white, and that’s self not included because I’m there by attachment.
I was gonna go look for a white people gif, but I dont wanna fuck my algorithm and get sent a bunch of right wing nonsense
Who was supposed to be there? You were there, right?
I heard that the company was real close knit.
Isn’t that always how Chinatowns in the New World have been? Most of the art and architecture in the SF Chinatown was put in by the local chamber of commerce in the 20s to cater to white tourists who wanted it to look authentically Chinese enough, and then there’s the whole ‘chop suey’ thing
It was the Chinese-American merchants and restaurant owners who built Chinatowns. The Chinese are the best restaurateurs in the world, and the Chinese-American restauranteurs in California came up with Chop Suey because it appealed to the local palates. They did it to increase sales; that’s the reason, nothing more. Look up “pork pump Jonathan Gold” (exactly as I spelled it) to find out more.
I love plucky Canadian shows like Wynona Earp and Orphan Black and Killjoys and The Order.
When I was a kid, the phrase “Canadian show” meant a bad thing.
Last time I was here, in 2016, there were Trump signs everywhere here in this corner of Western Pennsyltucky. I’m happy to report I have not seen a single one since I got here Monday, but I have seen a few for Uncle Joe. Please Dog and all the pagan deities let that be a sign that the fever dream is finally breaking! Goodnight, my darling dears
Thank you for making my night, Gumbygirl. You’re my favorite, and I don’t care who knows it.
Lakers ahead of Nawlins 87-74 at halftime.
Defense? Don’t need no stinking defense.
I could roll over lady number 8… fer… sur…
So I’ll share something with you.
About six weeks ago I was at the doctor, and he recommended that I shed a few pounds, but he’s been telling me that for five years and I never have. Finally, out of frustration, I asked for an Ozempic prescription, which is wildly popular and fashionable right now. It has other uses, but one of them is weight loss.
I was given a pen that you use to inject measured doses once a week into the abdomen. It doesn’t hurt at all. You start with four weeks of .25mg (the pen is set to calibrate the dose) and then the next four weeks you double it to .5mg.
Well, it sure killed my appetite. Actually I barely could eat anything, and I have definitely shed some pounds. But it came at a cost, especially after I went up to .5mg. I was waking up wretching with nausea; I was constantly dizzy; I would be sitting at my studio desk and suddenly feel like I was falling unconscious.
At first I didn’t put two & two together. I thought maybe I was drinking too much (which I wasn’t, and anyway I’ve been drinking excessively for 40 years and never once felt like this; I’m an expert after all). Then I thought maybe I was dying, and I was starting to wish I was dead. Then finally I Googled “side effects of Ozempic” and there, in the official literature in black & white, were all the exact symptoms that I had, and mean it was exactly the same.
So I think my Ozempic days are over. I was voluntarily injecting it, and now I’m going to voluntarily not inject it. Ain’t nobody got time for that shit.
I need to lose weight, and I should really love Ozempic (do nothing!) but I’m just not ready to pull that trigger. Concerned about long-term stuff (or never being able to stop taking it). But losing weight is no fun. Gaining weight? A fucking blast.
Nods in cheesecake.
Since the divorce, and getting together with minor league nobility, I’ve lost about 40 pounds. This was not a completely conscious decision, but definitely more a result of just diet, exercise, and no more booze.
Yeah, I took (most of) January off from drinking, and it did some good.
Gonna get back to that after Sunday.
I’m not advocating for one thing or another. We’re all grown-ups, even if our maturity level is around 13.
Just relaying what’s worked for me.
Oh I didn’t think you were shaming at all, and I appreciate you sharing what’s been working! I gotta slow WAY down, but breaking 35+ year old habits is kinda difficult.
Shaming? Shaming what? Not where I was going at all.
All I was saying everyone’s different, and what works for me may not for anyone else. The old Canadian nurse above isn’t exactly UFC training, but it does the jorb for me and the irradiated wasteland that is my knees.
My metabolism is fucked enough at this point that regaining weight I’ve lost is a very short lived joy. But a joy nonetheless
Sounds like a tapeworm…
I wish, I just have a RMR thats something like 22% below normal. My idiot watch tells me I’m burning 5-6k calories per day at my activity level, but since I’m eating way less than that and still have trouble not gaining weight it’s more likely some sort of horrible reverse tapeworm that just shits extra calories into me
A wise decision to cease the injections
Yeah, I’m firmly of the opinion that diabeetus meds should only be taken by actual diabeetics.
My sister’s best friend Rocking Robin is on that. I’m sure it was great at first, but she’s starting to look like she was cursed by an old gypsy woman. Thinner!
I’m sure not everybody gets these side effects, but I did. No more.
That old gypsy lady could make bank in the diet industry
.
Regarding this week’s life lesson; one of my neighbors actually managed to flip her car just a few houses down the street. It’s not like it’s a steep hill, I have no idea how she did it. She’s apparently okay, though.
That’s an impressive feat considering your street is pretty nearly flat.
That’s some Tiger Woods quality driving.
I drove past my old house today, and I took the route the school bus used to take. Twisty, hilly road. One snowy winter day, our bus driver Liz hit an icy patch at the top of a hill and we did slow motion 360’s the whole way down. She didn’t hit anything, we didn’t flip over, it was actually kind of fun. When we got to the bottom, we gave Liz a standing ovation, except for one little drama queen who sobbed like a ginormous baby. She ended up pregnant in high school, stupid girl.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GhPUAVgHZc
We need to get you to the next DFOCon
Cris Shapan
Actually this is making me dizzy.
Were you looking for this?
Incidentally! I went car shopping today. Used small SUV was the plan. Was. Goddamn those wagons are ugly.
Sorry….?
Dangling your arm to see which way is up is pretty dire. 🤣🤣
I’d spit on the prostitute beside me to see which way is up, thank you very much.
The spitting part is an oblique reference to being tossed over and over again and being buried in an avalanche-that’s why it’s so brilliant.
“Being tossed over and over again by a prostitute sounds like heaven to me.” – Bob Kraft
“Being buried in an avalanche of white powder sounds like heaven to me.” – Jim Irsay
I thought it was like rolling the fat girl in flour so you could figure out where the wet spot is.
I use the technique of: if the mullet is not hanging right… I’m upside down.
OJ Simpson apparently has cancer. Where’s Norm MacDonald when you need him??
Who do you think gave OJ the cancer?
You guessed it: Frank Stallone!
Hope it’s an extra painful kind. Constant stabbing pain.
News Item-“Wink Martindale to be Michigan DC”
Peter Principle: [was recently seen working hard on a theory about folks being demoted to their level of competence]
That might offset Redshirt’s reactions to the Chip Kelly news.
Might.
The old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be Simpsons (youtube.com)
Five is a great pose!
Why?
Hey, that guy’s show is filming just down the street from me next week!
Sexy Friday appropriate?
I blame that R2 unit
Chip Kelly leaving the HC job at UCLA to be the OC at THE Ohio State? Discuss.
Westwood Klavern seems happy he’s gone…except that it’s so late in the carousel season they are reaaaaallllllyyyyyy picking through the litter bin.
B1G
God, though. Imagine if Buttchinski pulled a Grumblelord on Bahstahn Cahlege (and resigned after 24 hrs to go to UCLA)
That freude would be verra schaden indeed!
Redshirt reacts reasonably.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N4R1Jbwi63A&pp=ygUaaG9tZXIgdGhhdCdzIGEgcmVhbCBwaWNrbGU%3D
You are a master of the understatement.
The Springfield
FalconsThunderbirds are doing a Simpsons themed night, and Malcolm Subban got the memo and nailed it.https://www.reddit.com/r/hockey/comments/1amykgu/malcolm_subbans_mask_for_simpsons_night_is_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
https://youtu.be/Ag1ywcLI3Xo
Aim higher.
How did you get footage of the 2024 Republican National Convention?!
No, that’s not orange enough.
Subban: [lets in five goals]
Reporter: “Malcolm, can you talk about your night tonight?”
Subban: “The mask, it does nothing!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woa0GFwhciQ