Welp, it’s finally here. As with most of the folks here, I could do without all the silly stories surrounding the game designed to draw in the casual fan. (although one story about a story-it was to be expected-that MAGAT’s were all up in arms about Swift/Kelce being some sort of psy-op that will bring more votes to Biden-that’s a keeper) I can’t stress it enough, when you’ve had your fill, run to the mute button. There’s simply too much air to fill.
To The Game!
Chiefs/Niners:
-Did I get the ‘home’ team right? (Narrator Voice: Nobody cared)
-Knock Me Over With a Dropped Pass: If reports are correct, Kadarius Toney will be starring in the role of “Player Nobody Gives a Shit About” and will not be bringing his unique brand of hapless football to the game today. Maybe it was the pass deflections that turned into interceptions, maybe it was lining up offside at a critical moment. Really, it could be anything. I’ll wager a hot fiver that his ten cent brain will be somewhere else next year.
-Don’t Bother About Trent Williams: As a whole the Niners o-line is ranked 15th in Pass Block Win Rate. That takes into account TW’s 96% rating-so yeah, the rest of the line can be had. The prevailing theory is that the Chiefs will put a speed guy like Danna or Anudike-Uzomah against him and have Chris Jones attack the middle or other side.
-In a game such as this reducing mistakes is paramount but Reid and Shanny Jr. especially tend to make errors when deciding whether or not to go for it on 4th down. By ESPN’s metric Shanny has the worst in-game decision-making skills, making the wrong call 28% of the time on non-obvious 4th downs.
-To Blitz or Not to Blitz: Chiefs DC Spagnoulo (?) employs that sort of pressure at a 32% rate. The trouble is that Purdy has a 86.4 QBR and 14 TD’s when blitzed, easily finding safety valves Kittle and McCaffrey. Spags will no doubt create some new wrinkles during the pre-snap period but how effective will they be?
-Speaking Of: Look for McCaffrey to be used early and often against the Chiefs suspect run D. San Fran will not make the same mistake the Ravens did when they came out throwing. The Niners were #1 in yards per carry on zone runs and K.C. was 31st defending. That’s the kind of statistical disparity that Shanny and run game coordinator Chris Foerster simply can’t ignore. By the same token, Reid and OC Matt Nagy would be fools not to have Pacheco running straight at Chase Young.
Guaranteed to Happen: A 30+ yard shot play to MVS. It’s happened in both playoff games so far.
-Feast or Famine: Cb L’Jarius Sneed has rightly won praise for making big plays in a timely fashion but he’s also been flagged 17(!) times so far this year for holding/pass interference, etc. as well.
It was a pleasure putting these together for the 9th(?) year. Shit, has it really been that long? Enjoy the game and comment like you’ve never commented before!
McCaffery lost focus when fantasy football season ended
Oh fer crissake.
a chage as sudden as it is annoying
Great ZZ Top reference on the fumble.
ANDY GETS A TURNOVER!
When your fullback is hurdling defenders… can we be sure that this game isn’t already over??
Aaaaaaand I rescind my comment.
There’s a little salt in Romo’s voice when he talks about Brock Purdy, like he knows some guy he’s calling “Mr. Irrelevant” has achieved in three years more professionally than he ever did.
Oh that’s delicious
Right back to the West Coast Offense.
Dance with the date you brought.
The hurdle!
Did they just say this Super Bowl will only take three hours?!
GAME RIGGED!
The GAME will. The broadcast itself will be over sometime in March.
I got your trophy right here.
The desiccated hand of Al Davis should reach up from the flame to try & steal it.
Bird teams assemble.
Next up: the ungulates
Sunday Ticket! Buy now, enjoy 7 months later!!
How much money did Hippo lose on the coin toss?
These Kansas City Chiefs, I call them Lex Luger because the bookers are shoving them down our throats to replace the previous face of the business.
What the fuck does John Stamos have to do with B1G football??
He’ll work for cheap (like everyone other than tOSU, Michigan, USC)?
Reba wearing a Kittle nighty underneath
Caribbean delegation, present. Can drive, at present.
Just made it in time to mom & dad’s to hear Post Malone do… whatever that was.
Greetings, Empire supporters! I must throw my support behind those admirable gold prospecting gentlemen today (how could I not?). The uncivilized men from Kansas City have worn out their welcome, and I predict that the prospectors will be able to push them around much like I pushed around the indigenous inhabitants in the vicinity of Kimberley! Onward to glory!
Tears on camera! That guy wins the anthem
Who in the fuck was the guy with the tattoos on his face?
Post Malone, or “WHO THE FUCK IS THAT HOODLUM?”according to WineWife.
He’s the male version of the Kardashians, I think.
My brother named his girl cat Post Malone.
Well, you obviously got all the smarts in the family!
“He should be sent back to his maximum security trailer park!”
-Tshambale (my manservant)
Dude lives here in Salt Lick. I see him at the supermarket once in awhile.
Buying meth?
They sell meth at the supermarket now? That explains a lot.
Prop bets on Tay Tay camera time paying already
Here, but not watching the game.
ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE BITCHES
KC had to slug it out in Buffalo and won. Then went into Baltimore, the only team that DESTROYED the 49ers, and throttled them. And they’ve been here multiple times. San Francisco stumbled against Green Bay, and had the conference championship thrown across the field to them by the Dan Campbell. Now they’re here with Brock Purdy in his first Supe. I’ll say KC by 10+ with turnovers in the forecast.
[prepares for avalanche of Andy Reid jokes]
Reporting for doody.
Huh, i’m reporting for doobie myself!
I pre-baked.
Well hello everyone.
Let’s do this motherfucker!
Got the family and beverages.
Life is good.
Checking in from this… bar mitzvah, where we have almost had to drag a kid off the bandstand!
Okay, I get some people don’t like football, and it doesn’t necessarily have a big role in people’s lives…..
But who the fuck schedules something like that on superbowl sunday?
It would be impolite to comment here
A bookie. “I want to know where every one of you fucking degenerates is on Super Bowl Sunday. And dress nice, you animals!”
The niners are using Metallica’s “for whom the bell tolls”
That’s the bears song.
Well of I wasn’t low key rooting for the chiefs before
Chefs being booed in LV. WHAT A SHOCK
Vegas vic approves
Is CBS trying to make me feel like I dropped acid? Or OH SHIT, did I actually drop acid??
That sucks, or THATS COOL!
Frank crashed the broadcast booth.
To answer WCS’ question from the last thread, the NFC East has the most Owl wins with 13.
Dallas – 5
Giants – 4
Washington – 3
Philly – 1
Right. Appreciate reintroducing it.
Spanoi clan still the worst franchise overall since 1970, at least compared to their divsional rivals?
Are you sure? The Packers have a few, and the Bears have that one, and…okay you’re right.
Even as shameless pandering, this is horrible, CBS.
National anthem time is a perfect time to poop
Are they keeping the teams in the locker room so Nick Bosa doesn’t boo “Lift Every Voice”?
He’s kind of a snowflake.
No! The Black National Anthem is a Marxist (more stupid ignorant shit)
It’s a lovely song.
All this talking is reminding me that I’m terrible at recognizing players with their helmets off.
I swear I got partial facial blindness or some shit
Fuckin’ Sinatra HELL YEAH
CERO! MIEDO! LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO!
please don’t let us embarrass ourselves too badly
There IS a Niners fan here.
Probly homeless in Pelosi’s backyard smh
Those chief throwback photos are reminding me of my grandpa again. This will be the first Super Bowl without him
Aw, sorry man. Cheers to you and the family.
It’s not even a big thing, just it always stuck in my mind that he liked the chiefs, he liked that Hank stram and len Dawson were purdue guys, he went back and forth from KC to Chi when he was working for the rail road.
I guess it’s the same everytime you lose someone close, you’re always noticing things that remind you of them.
I mentioned this earlier this year, but he was also a bears fan first, and his favorite player was butkus.
Butkus also passed away earlier this year, and fittingly enough, they were both named Richard, but both went by Dick.
Fortunately, my Dad liked the Redacteds, so I never have to worry about the Owl making me has a sad (in that respect).
My late FIL was a Richard/Dick too. Here’s to all the Dicks!
Family being extra bitchy. Forcing me to watch Super Bowl with them.
Either give me thoughts and prayers or give me an alibi.
You were here, saw you checking out Rikki’s vacuum.
All that semen in the hose didn’t get there by itself.
If the Sears Repairmen can tell stories…
WHORE!!! – Rikki-Tikki-D., Los Angeles, CA
Waffle fries and chicken nuggets are in the air fryer (raided Trader Joe’s yesterday).
Beer will commence shortly
Pick?
KC 30-26
Forgot to add OMC TAY TAY IS HERE enjoy every cutaway Alex!
I think they don’t break 50 combined.
I say… kc 23-20
HOW THE FUCK WE DOIN’ BOYS?!
And, how’s them feet, Dok?
You beat me to it
I’m doing good
Which long-time DFO absentee will stop by tonight?
Otto face reveal at halftime.
I will legit…. idk, what I’ll do, but I’ll do it
I would love to see moose again
Big Black Richard!
Beastmode!
Sill
y question.
FEIST!
Kelce’s girlfriend’s reaction (artist’s conception):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ9WiuJPnNA
FRIST