Your Superb Owl Open Thread

Welp, it’s finally here. As with most of the folks here, I could do without all the silly stories surrounding the game designed to draw in the casual fan. (although one story about a story-it was to be expected-that MAGAT’s were all up in arms about Swift/Kelce being some sort of psy-op that will bring more votes to Biden-that’s a keeper) I can’t stress it enough, when you’ve had your fill, run to the mute button. There’s simply too much air to fill.

To The Game!

Chiefs/Niners:

-Did I get the ‘home’ team right? (Narrator Voice: Nobody cared)

-Knock Me Over With a Dropped Pass: If reports are correct, Kadarius Toney will be starring in the role of “Player Nobody Gives a Shit About” and will not be bringing his unique brand of hapless football to the game today. Maybe it was the pass deflections that turned into interceptions, maybe it was lining up offside at a critical moment. Really, it could be anything. I’ll wager a hot fiver that his ten cent brain will be somewhere else next year.

-Don’t Bother About Trent Williams: As a whole the Niners o-line is ranked 15th in Pass Block Win Rate. That takes into account TW’s 96% rating-so yeah, the rest of the line can be had. The prevailing theory is that the Chiefs will put a speed guy like Danna or Anudike-Uzomah against him and have Chris Jones attack the middle or other side.

-In a game such as this reducing mistakes is paramount but Reid and Shanny Jr. especially tend to make errors when deciding whether or not to go for it on 4th down. By ESPN’s metric Shanny has the worst in-game decision-making skills, making the wrong call 28% of the time on non-obvious 4th downs.

-To Blitz or Not to Blitz: Chiefs DC Spagnoulo (?) employs that sort of pressure at a 32% rate. The trouble is that Purdy has a 86.4 QBR and 14 TD’s when blitzed, easily finding safety valves Kittle and McCaffrey. Spags will no doubt create some new wrinkles during the pre-snap period but how effective will they be?

-Speaking Of: Look for McCaffrey to be used early and often against the Chiefs suspect run D. San Fran will not make the same mistake the Ravens did when they came out throwing. The Niners were #1 in yards per carry on zone runs and K.C. was 31st defending. That’s the kind of statistical disparity that Shanny and run game coordinator Chris Foerster simply can’t ignore. By the same token, Reid and OC Matt Nagy would be fools not to have Pacheco running straight at Chase Young.

Guaranteed to Happen: A 30+ yard shot play to MVS. It’s happened in both playoff games so far.

-Feast or Famine: Cb L’Jarius Sneed has rightly won praise for making big plays in a timely fashion but he’s also been flagged 17(!) times so far this year for holding/pass interference, etc. as well.

It was a pleasure putting these together for the 9th(?) year. Shit, has it really been that long? Enjoy the game and comment like you’ve never commented before!

4.7 13 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
927 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
WCS

comment image

Gatoraids

McCaffery lost focus when fantasy football season ended

yeah right

Oh fer crissake.

King Hippo

a chage as sudden as it is annoying

Beerguyrob

Great ZZ Top reference on the fumble.

The Maestro

When your fullback is hurdling defenders… can we be sure that this game isn’t already over??

The Maestro

Aaaaaaand I rescind my comment.

Beerguyrob

There’s a little salt in Romo’s voice when he talks about Brock Purdy, like he knows some guy he’s calling “Mr. Irrelevant” has achieved in three years more professionally than he ever did.

Last edited 9 months ago by Beerguyrob
Doktor Zymm

Oh that’s delicious

yeah right

Right back to the West Coast Offense.
Dance with the date you brought.

yeah right

The hurdle!

Redshirt

Did they just say this Super Bowl will only take three hours?!

Beerguyrob

GAME RIGGED!

WCS

The GAME will. The broadcast itself will be over sometime in March.

yeah right

I got your trophy right here.

Beerguyrob

The desiccated hand of Al Davis should reach up from the flame to try & steal it.

Recovery Whiskey

Bird teams assemble.

Next up: the ungulates

King Hippo

Sunday Ticket! Buy now, enjoy 7 months later!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How much money did Hippo lose on the coin toss?

Redshirt

These Kansas City Chiefs, I call them Lex Luger because the bookers are shoving them down our throats to replace the previous face of the business.

The Maestro

What the fuck does John Stamos have to do with B1G football??

King Hippo

He’ll work for cheap (like everyone other than tOSU, Michigan, USC)?

Gatoraids

Reba wearing a Kittle nighty underneath

Don T

Caribbean delegation, present. Can drive, at present.

The Maestro

Just made it in time to mom & dad’s to hear Post Malone do… whatever that was.

Cecil Rhodes

Greetings, Empire supporters! I must throw my support behind those admirable gold prospecting gentlemen today (how could I not?). The uncivilized men from Kansas City have worn out their welcome, and I predict that the prospectors will be able to push them around much like I pushed around the indigenous inhabitants in the vicinity of Kimberley! Onward to glory!

Recovery Whiskey

Tears on camera! That guy wins the anthem

Brick Meathook

Who in the fuck was the guy with the tattoos on his face?

Beerguyrob

Post Malone, or “WHO THE FUCK IS THAT HOODLUM?”according to WineWife.

King Hippo

He’s the male version of the Kardashians, I think.

Gumbygirl

My brother named his girl cat Post Malone.

King Hippo

Well, you obviously got all the smarts in the family!

Cecil Rhodes

“He should be sent back to his maximum security trailer park!”

-Tshambale (my manservant)

Col. Duke LaCross

Dude lives here in Salt Lick. I see him at the supermarket once in awhile.

WCS

Buying meth?

Gumbygirl

They sell meth at the supermarket now? That explains a lot.

Recovery Whiskey

Prop bets on Tay Tay camera time paying already

ArmedandHammered

Here, but not watching the game.

King Hippo

ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE BITCHES

WCS

comment image

Fronkenshteen

KC had to slug it out in Buffalo and won. Then went into Baltimore, the only team that DESTROYED the 49ers, and throttled them. And they’ve been here multiple times. San Francisco stumbled against Green Bay, and had the conference championship thrown across the field to them by the Dan Campbell. Now they’re here with Brock Purdy in his first Supe. I’ll say KC by 10+ with turnovers in the forecast.

[prepares for avalanche of Andy Reid jokes]

comment image

NotShogunButShogun

Reporting for doody.

Gumbygirl

Huh, i’m reporting for doobie myself!

ArmedandHammered

I pre-baked.

yeah right

Well hello everyone.
Let’s do this motherfucker!

Got the family and beverages.
Life is good.

Senor Weaselo

Checking in from this… bar mitzvah, where we have almost had to drag a kid off the bandstand!

Brocky

Okay, I get some people don’t like football, and it doesn’t necessarily have a big role in people’s lives…..

But who the fuck schedules something like that on superbowl sunday?

Recovery Whiskey

It would be impolite to comment here

Fronkenshteen

A bookie. “I want to know where every one of you fucking degenerates is on Super Bowl Sunday. And dress nice, you animals!”

Brocky

The niners are using Metallica’s “for whom the bell tolls”

That’s the bears song.

Well of I wasn’t low key rooting for the chiefs before

Petronel

Chefs being booed in LV. WHAT A SHOCK

Brocky

comment image

Vegas vic approves

King Hippo

Is CBS trying to make me feel like I dropped acid? Or OH SHIT, did I actually drop acid??

Beerguyrob

That sucks, or THATS COOL!

WCS

comment image

Frank crashed the broadcast booth.

ballsofsteelandfury

To answer WCS’ question from the last thread, the NFC East has the most Owl wins with 13.

Dallas – 5
Giants – 4
Washington – 3
Philly – 1

Last edited 9 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
WCS

Right. Appreciate reintroducing it.

Spanoi clan still the worst franchise overall since 1970, at least compared to their divsional rivals?

SonOfSpam

Are you sure? The Packers have a few, and the Bears have that one, and…okay you’re right.

WCS

Even as shameless pandering, this is horrible, CBS.

TheRevanchist

National anthem time is a perfect time to poop

Beerguyrob

Are they keeping the teams in the locker room so Nick Bosa doesn’t boo “Lift Every Voice”?

SonOfSpam

He’s kind of a snowflake.

SonOfSpam

No! The Black National Anthem is a Marxist (more stupid ignorant shit)

It’s a lovely song.

herodotus450

comment image

Brocky

All this talking is reminding me that I’m terrible at recognizing players with their helmets off.

I swear I got partial facial blindness or some shit

Petronel

Fuckin’ Sinatra HELL YEAH

CERO! MIEDO! LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO!

comment image

please don’t let us embarrass ourselves too badly

WCS

There IS a Niners fan here.

SonOfSpam

Probly homeless in Pelosi’s backyard smh

Brocky

Those chief throwback photos are reminding me of my grandpa again. This will be the first Super Bowl without him

SonOfSpam

Aw, sorry man. Cheers to you and the family.

Brocky

It’s not even a big thing, just it always stuck in my mind that he liked the chiefs, he liked that Hank stram and len Dawson were purdue guys, he went back and forth from KC to Chi when he was working for the rail road.

I guess it’s the same everytime you lose someone close, you’re always noticing things that remind you of them.

I mentioned this earlier this year, but he was also a bears fan first, and his favorite player was butkus.

Butkus also passed away earlier this year, and fittingly enough, they were both named Richard, but both went by Dick.

King Hippo

Fortunately, my Dad liked the Redacteds, so I never have to worry about the Owl making me has a sad (in that respect).

Gumbygirl

My late FIL was a Richard/Dick too. Here’s to all the Dicks!

Redshirt

Family being extra bitchy. Forcing me to watch Super Bowl with them.

Either give me thoughts and prayers or give me an alibi.

SonOfSpam

You were here, saw you checking out Rikki’s vacuum.

TheRevanchist

All that semen in the hose didn’t get there by itself.

Redshirt

If the Sears Repairmen can tell stories…

King Hippo

WHORE!!! – Rikki-Tikki-D., Los Angeles, CA

SonOfSpam

Waffle fries and chicken nuggets are in the air fryer (raided Trader Joe’s yesterday).

Beer will commence shortly

Pick?

KC 30-26

SonOfSpam

Forgot to add OMC TAY TAY IS HERE enjoy every cutaway Alex!

Brocky

I think they don’t break 50 combined.

I say… kc 23-20

Beerguyrob

HOW THE FUCK WE DOIN’ BOYS?!

IMG_8111.jpeg
Last edited 9 months ago by Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

And, how’s them feet, Dok?

IMG_8112.jpeg
Brocky

You beat me to it

I’m doing good

King Hippo

Which long-time DFO absentee will stop by tonight?

WCS

Otto face reveal at halftime.

Brocky

I will legit…. idk, what I’ll do, but I’ll do it

I would love to see moose again

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Big Black Richard!

Beerguyrob

Beastmode!

SonOfSpam

Sill
y question.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

FEIST!

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kelce’s girlfriend’s reaction (artist’s conception):

comment image

BugEyedBoo
WCS

FRIST

comment image

1 2 3 11