TGIF! I, for one, agree with Strawberry Fields. Just get this over with. Also, that Chi**** is going to be wrong no matter what they decide. Anyway the week is over for us and now we get to make all kinds of questionable decisions for the next few days!
Survival – Personal Edition
About that. Sometimes you want to have a little bit of fun. Sometimes you have a little fun forced on you. Well, one fun thing is handcuffs. But only for a bit. If after that bit you want to free yourself, here’s a guideline.
- Presumably you don’t have a key. If you do, you can just use that to unlock the cuffs and skip ahead now.
- So you don’t have a key, that means you need a pick. All you need is sturdy piece of metal that you can bend into the shape of a key. No weak metal here as the cuffs use strong springs. So locate any of the following items:
- Tiny screwdriver
- Large paper clip
- Chicken or piano wire
- Tiny fork
- Hairpin
- On one end of the wire, bend it 90 degrees. This bend should only be a few millimeters from the end. In the next step it’ll be obvious if your bend was too close or too far from the end.
- Insert that bent end into the nipple of where the key fits. Yes, it’s the circle part for you not familiar. When inserted, you should feel the bend move into place. If it doesn’t, your bend is too short, if it doesn’t fit, your bend is too long. Adjust accordingly and proceed.
- Now turn your pick left than right to release the lock. If your wussy pick bends, find new material. If the pick doesn’t bend and the lock doesn’t move, then place the cuff vertically on a hard surface with the latch end down and press down. This can relieve the pressure on the locking mechanism. However! Don’t push too hard as that will cause the latch to catch another tooth and make your situation much more dire.
Hopefully you figured all that out. I mean, the harlot already absconded with all your possessions, but at least you’re free.
Click here to get to commenting
Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
Goodnight my darling dears. I firmly believe this was the absolute pinnacle of the internet.https://youtu.be/kkwiQmGWK4c?si=GpeovAoNWiNe29KW
Is Flaco the new Harambe? I mean no disrespect. If both were chickens, I’d be invested fo sho’
Great stuff on surviving something really really interesting in a very dire situation.* YMMV, but god damn handcuffs alone are no fun, with someone else, too much commitment.
* not as dire as rolling over inside a car and letting your arm hang to see which way is up. That still makes me laugh more than it should 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mM_yM8VOI40
Sorry to yuk your collective yums.. but really what the fucking fuck?
JACKSON, Miss. (AP) State Attorney General Sues State Auditor To Stop His Lawsuit Against Brett Favre— Mississippi’s Republican attorney general sued the Republican state auditor Thursday, trying to block the auditor’s effort to recover misspent welfare money from retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre—money that was supposed to help some of the poorest people in the U.S.
Attorney General Lynn Fitch’s lawsuit says that filing litigation to recover improperly spent money is the responsibility of the attorney general’s office, not the auditor’s.
https://www.mississippifreepress.org/40071/state-attorney-general-sues-state-auditor-to-stop-his-lawsuit-against-brett-favre
/sees byline indicating ‘Mississippi’ as the locale
Well, there’s your problem right there.
It’s 9:30 at night and this fucking kid upstairs is walking around in his marching boots on hard wood floors up there.
Sounds like a roofer on meth.
When I was a kid my parents kicked my ass out of the house on a Friday night.
“Get a life you little bastard!”
Do that shit here in Pedro and BEST case scenario is you come with a stolen car, a venereal disease and a new tattoo.
How the fuck you doing everyone?!
Sexy Friday (classic edition):
Truly, a Warrior against his own CNS.
Duck confit fried rice.
I have eggs, I’m pretty sure there’s rice in the house, and I know we have leftover chicken.
I am absolutely going to burn the house down while doing the worst counterfeit version of this dish imaginable.
Just dial 911 but dont hit send. It’ll save you time to push one button rather than 4
Fried rice is hard to fuck up. Keep it moving and don’t use too much soy sauce.
I’m be damned.
I’m pre-cooking some rice tomorrow for a similar application.
Then again confit is really easy to fuck up.
Watch your flame UConn.
On it!
I’ve never had oxtail and I am going to remedy that soon.
“We call in ‘New American’ which basically means I can do whatever I want.”
Finally, someone with the courage to tell the truth.
Ah fuck; Guy’s at a BBQ joint in Nevada and the guy’s making brisket.
I am absolutely breaking and entering a butcher shop sometime between now and 4 am.
I also notice that Guy has dragged his son into the show. Not real promising, but Jac Collinsworth may be poisoning towards the kid.
Ok, not to steal makeitsnow’s bit, but I have now seen the following 2024 Oscar Nominees for Best Picture:
Barbie
The Holdovers
Maestro
Oppenheimer
Past Lives
Poor Things
I enjoyed 4, one was hot garbage, and another failed to hold my interest, but only one really strikes me as deserving of an Oscar. And there’s no way it will get it.
I agree. Don’t Tell My Parents I Ass-Fucked The Babysitter II has that thing locked up.
Barbie is not getting the Oscar?
You haven’t seen Killers of the Flower Moon?
I loved the book but Jesus Christ I do not have 3+ hours to sit still and watch a frigging movie.
It’s easier with the streaming.
You can take a piss then grab a beer then go for part two.
I did it on one watch at the theater.
My first and only Theater experience after the pandemic.
Very good on the big screen.
Loved the Robbie Robertson soundtrack.
Here you go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LdHmuKnEzA&list=OLAK5uy_mlJLcJMMDQvs14qFUq_uLtAmyBDYHIJg4
Can I venture “Maestro” as the not best film you saw?
Sexy Friday:
Well I’m on my second beer, so watching Diners Drive-In & Dives surely won’t result in me making some truly horrible dietary decisions as we close in on midnight.
/gets arrested driving 97 mph headed south for gumbo.
Driving towards flavoUr country?
/with frosted tips
The cultural 180 on Guy Fieri to “he’s an unsung hero” has been fascinating.
I don’t mind Fieri has a host at all. He’s fine.
His restaurants, on the other hand, are fucking horrible. I seriously cannot emphasize how bad the food is.
The people I work with love his restaurants, (so hey, maybe I’m the asshole), so every holiday party was at one. I just stopped going.
I like how he highlights mom and pop restaurants that needs the attention.
I have never been to any of his restaurants.
Buddy, they will fuck up the most basic of appetizers.
SMC (Super Melty Cheese) and Donkey Sauce
He was a shithead loudmouth homophobe who was just barely smart enough to realize that was a piss poor business model. I will give him props for his efforts during the pandemic though, he helped a lot of people and redeemed himself.
She just got the cuffs off.
Almost finished working. Fuck it. Gotta chill a lil’
Special shoutout to blax and the RAAAAAAIIIIII DUUUUUURRRS
That’s a sweet poster, Sir.
Take another picture of the poster so we can see the whole thing. Maybe it will lure Beastmode back!
I was in touch with him through Twitter but he quit when Musk started fucking it up. Hopefully he’s doing well. Solid guy.
I miss him, and Moosemas.
Ook!
/sad Ook
I’ve reached out to Moose.
Best we could do.
Whatahyagonnado?
Cheers brother!
https://i.postimg.cc/1yR4jRNh/20240223-224818.avif
Try this again
The licence plate is 420!
I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
PEEdro in the house!
RIP Flaco
What they’re hiding from us is that Flaco got mugged on 6th Ave, got into an illegal craps game in Harlem, and is now on a plate in Chinatown.
Fuck.
Noooooooo! He was a hoot, that owl.
Lady number 6 needs my help. I’ll bring the fuzzy handcuffs.
Hmm…another episode of Quantum Leap? Or…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF28zGQeaWs
How the hell can a SQL query be ‘eloquent’? Who writes these skill requirements?
Eloquent indenting?
Insouciant.
Mmmm yes, this TABLE SORT reminds me of that summer I spent in Province trimming hedges at a local winery. The Lady of the manner was stern, but sweet…
Masochists apparently.
Not simply jamming down on the keyboard? Letting your fingers flow softly?
The use of the LEFT OUTER JOIN is presumptuous, yet charming in its naïveté.
https://ibb.co/h2FjRzD
Kliban comic. Thats a deep cut.
This was in the first collection of B.Kliban cartoons I bought, at a bookstore in Annapolis MD in 1982. I’d never heard of him before that, I just saw it in the store. I took it on all six sub patrols with me, and still have it. This was probably my favorite cartoon in the book, but he has some brilliant stuff.
The first book:
https://ibb.co/jf9ctWn
Pretty sure my parents had that book when I was growing up.
We had this one when I was a teenager.
I thought the art style looked familiar. My grandpa had this one
I later bought that one. I think I have most of his collections, but he also did a lot of car stuff so there’s a lot more out there.
“Cat” stuff
What’s the backstory here, Brick?
The backstory is that’s a piece of shit Russian submarine.
My boat:
Probably doesn’t even have a Caterpillar drive though, eh Ryan?
Gumby’s first boat, USS Thomas Jefferson SSBN/SSN 618. Hostility Against Tyranny!
Free HAT!
I was on the Jimmy Mad Dog Madison
I’ve been on the Nautilus.
I bumped my head.
When the TJ was decomming, they combined crews with the George Washington in the yards. They called themselves the George Jefferson.
That can’t be a Russian sub. The sailors are alive and it’s not on the bottom.
Give them time.
It looks like they’re using a rope to get the screw to turn. Like starting a shitty lawnmower.
“looks like”
Also slightly disappointed this didn’t end up in the comments of the COTW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbjzslR4Lxc
Go beat the maple syrup out of GTD’s Canadian ass.
He’s got bum arm, I like my chances
bum arm?
Sorry for leaving folks hanging re: the Request Line Puzzle – I went golfing. Shot a +11*!
*over nine holes at a par 3 course
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INnFvMgET1E
Shot a +11!
-Eddie Ray Routh, talking about the IQ of Chris Kyle
Jesus Mary & Joseph I laughed so fucking hard at that.
That’s still pretty good!
Nah, but I’m not fussed – I haven’t played in at least a year and no drink cart girls witnessed the carnage. I actually hit fairly well from the tee and my short game – which is normally my foundation – was what let me down.
Los Feliz?
Yeah.
Welp, cats out of the bag, unless one of our mods can put that last closing bracket on my last comment before someone replies to it
Life pro tip: Don’t broadcast yourself doing cocaine on instagram.
https://twitter.com/AZCoyotesPR/status/1761104902577893557
Apparently, it works for fairy godmothers, and not hawkey coaches.
“Yeah, keep that shit on your laptop, where no one will ever find it.” — Hunter Biden
He will rebound and get an O line coaching job in the NFL.
In a related story the entire Arizona Coyotes organization have filmed themselves doing cocaine in the vain hope that Gary Bettman will see them and finally let them die.
Okay, keeping with the theme of sexy friday…
This is technically spoilers for the latest FFVII remake chapter, but it’s too funny to not share…
Garlic bread is created by AI???
No one denies that
So it’s just occurred to me that the more links I put into a comment is proportional to how long it takes for both ayo to approve it and how quickly it gets posted
I approve it
Never mind, it just posted!
The mod bot had it pending. I approved it. It took me a while because I was taking a dump and, surprisingly, not browsing this site.
In my defense, I am super drunk. Also, I was trying to read a schlong form essay.
Is that what these kids are calling it these days?
Didn’t get the job I interviewed for yesterday, it seems I was good technically and they liked me, but I wasn’t excited enough or something. Anyway, shame pizza and wine for dinner while I cheat at Animal Crossing
Goddamn it.
Sincerely sorry, Dok. Fuck those guys.
What he said. Fuck ’em!
That sucks Dok, shame pizza is always the answer. Except when it doesn’t have cheese, that is an aberration.
Bummer.
Wasn’t meant to be, and the one you land will be the right one.
I mean animal crossing is supposed to be just like real life, so if you cheat at it, is it not treated the same just as the real world?
Not excited enough? Thats a bullshit excuse.
The job posting clearly listed the minimum pieces of flair required. That’s on you.
Truly their loss.
Keep up your spirits and we’ll be here for support.
Oh, sure, go with the fake guy who will flame out in a couple months instead of the quiet, competent guy who will last at least a decade.
Keep the faith and keep at it.
Do you ask them questions at the end about “team shit” not about your benefits? That’s a trend now that supposedly companies are looking for.
Just say their name
/takes out boycott overalls and bullhorn
Fuck ’em. Their loss.
Should be called The “Hotties” Tournament of Hearts, amirite?
Sexy Friday Appropriate?
Ladies curling. Bookish ladies. Let’s gooooo!
Alberta’s third is working the sexy librarian look
As I was born in Manitoba I am cheering for them. But do appreciate Albertan talent as I now live here.
MB VS. AB-WHO YA GOT?
Tough spot for me.
I am finally clear on how a Page playoff works, but I could not explain this “Page playoff to get into a Page playoff” thing to save my life.
Only one man knows and it is Jimmy Page. It is a highly guarded secret.
Bowling Green is playing the son of a used car salesman at center.
Okay, so I said on Monday I was lazy, and I wasn’t lying.that being said, I don’t think I realized how many pictures were in the “characters from a movie you want to be your valentine”
Nice shots of Blax! Now Friday is REALLY SEXY!
Sensational team effort.
I’m just glad to contribute to a Sexy Friday
while somehow not violating the terms of my par, I mean, super cool, Brocky!I think I won that draft.
You root for the Bears, so I’m just happy you had one good draft.
Miss #8!
I would ask “were you too close?” But then we all know what you’d say…