Sexy Friday – 20240405

TGIF! It’s Final Four (4) time. The ladies are playing right now, and the gentlemen hit the hardwood tomorrow. And there’s F1 practice 3 (9:25 DFO, 7:25 right coast) and qualifying later tonight (12:55am DFO, 10:55pm right coast).

Survival – Personal Edition

With spring comes warmer weather. With warmer weather brings evenings on the back porch watching the sun set. Which is also a great time to smoke a cigar. Here’s a handy guide on how to properly smoke a cigar.

  • A cigar has two ends, a head and a foot. The foot is what’s lit, and the head is what’s sucked smoked. The first step is to clip the cap at the head of the cigar. Use a proper cigar cutter for this and make sure the cut is less than a 1/4 of an inch. If you cut beyond on the cap, the cigar wrapper can come apart. If you don’t have a cigar cutter, what are you even doing? But fine, just poke a hole in the cap with a pencil or pen.
  • Hold the cigar in your non dominant hand, grasping on the half toward the head. Now use a torch lighter to toast the foot of the cigar. At this point, do not hold the cigar to your lips. Instead, slowly rotate the cigar while lighting the foot of the cigar. The foot should be evenly and thoroughly lit before continuing.
  • Now, bring the head to your lips. Begin sucking on the cigar slowly and evenly while still holding the torch lighter an inch or two from the foot.
  • Continue puffing gently until the foot is completely lit. Also, be like Clinton and don’t inhale.
  • Enjoy the flavor of the smoke in your mouth for a few seconds, then exhale to expel the smoke. Remember, no inhaling!
  • Now repeat the last two steps. You’ll want to puff on that cigar at least once per minute to keep the foot lit. You’ll also want to rotate the cigar in your fingers and keep the foot elevated to maintain an even burn. Do not squeeze the cigar!
  • As you puff, the foot will turn into ash. Allow between 1/2 to 1/1 an inch to form before ashing. Your ashing technique should be no more than a gentle finger tap. If the ash doesn’t fall, then wait and try later. If you’re not in any danger of damaging clothes or furniture, have a little competition and see how long you can get the ash before it falls off on its own.
  • A cigar can be extinguished and discarded once 1/2 to 3/4 of the cigar has been smoked. Where you stop is dependent on the flavor and temperature of the smoke. The more it burns, the smoke will get hotter and harsher. Use your own personal preference to determine when to stop and be mindful that will be different for different types of cigars.

Now go make a quick trip to Cuba and get stocked up for the summer.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Mr. Ayo
Conscripted content miner
Subscribe
Notify of
229 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brocky

And just like that, all of the out of shape key board misogynists who were edging on the idea of watching clark lose were left disappointed.

Good luck getting that visual out of your head

fleshwound_NPG

tho part of me was kinda intrigued at dawn staley delivering the killshot to geno’s career

Horatio Cornblower

Geno has more money than he knows what to do with. He’s 70+and will be out very soon and focused on his restaurants and golf courses.

fleshwound_NPG

ALWAYS.

GUARD.

THE OUT OF BOUNDS PLAYER.

litre_cola

She was moving.

SonOfSpam

Just saw a commercial for the new season: MILF Manor 2.

Brocky

Throw back to the last time I actually smoked a cigar

comment image

litre_cola

This is awesome

blaxabbath

“Did someone say Cuba?”

– Don_T, Borrotcho-Cubano

scotchnaut

KATE MARTIN!!!

fleshwound_NPG

uconn somehow not deadcomment image

Horatio Cornblower

Actual picture of their bench players in their current state of health

2Pack

It’s lady number 10 getting my 10 rating tonight. Sensational as usual Mr Ayo. I don’t smoke cigars but I do admire women so I humbly offer up this sweetie.

FB_IMG_1712347932846.jpg
scotchnaut

I. OH. WAY.

fleshwound_NPG

uconn falling apart

Sharkbait

Speaking of things falling apart I’m going to Denver for a family thing soon, and if I want to avoid flying on a MAX (I do) my options are leaving Boston stupid late, or landing in Denver super late. Both options are less than ideal

Sharkbait

Ugh that was supposed to say leaving Boston super early. My kingdom for edit abilities again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That movie “Abigail” would be infinitely more interesting if they hadn’t spoiled the twist in the preview. Then again, it’s probably terrible so it’s better that I’m not intrigued by it.

scotchnaut

Goddamn-this game delivers.

litre_cola

Phenomenal. I hope Sunday night is good

Sharkbait

Tonight is a vesper kind of night. Not sure why, but who am I to complain?

WCS

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

also an open top ferarri kind of nightcomment image

Sharkbait

I still think GoldenEye is an excellent Bond movie. Not quite as campy as the 80s ones, but a decent one none the less.

fleshwound_NPG

its probably the one thats aged the best (non-connery division)

Sharkbait

Also I spent way too much time in middle school playing GoldenEye on my N64 with my friends.

litre_cola

Thank you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh…you are a bad influence.

Sharkbait

comment image&ct=g

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just put a glass in the freezer.

litre_cola

Use the TWBS vodka!

I swear on my pug for 4 years I have sent the same shitty care package to the winner. Except the Kraft dinner id the last 2 years

Sharkbait

Im thinking about how I’m gonna use it.

litre_cola

Straight 1st. you must

Sharkbait

I was thinking side by side test comparing to Titos

litre_cola

HAve you ever had Malort? We could do a cross post like YR and I and Jolibee

Sharkbait

I did! Once in a bar a few months ago! It’s buried in the comments here but yes I did.

fleshwound_NPG

ok, this is where uconn finally disintegrates

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They should add a plinko-type setup above the shot clock so if you get in trouble (or hit it with a halfcourt heave) you have a chance for the ball to trickle down and then fall into the hoop.

fleshwound_NPG

nika muhl’s very presence can keep the D up

nika-muhl-uconn-2.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

These are fantastic for when you don’t feel like cooking a real dinner:

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“When you DON’T CARE to mess around in the kitchen…just throw on a couple of Trident Seafoods Alaska Salmon Burgers.”

comment image

WCS

Humans and felines are the only known mammals who will intentionally starve themselves if they’re upset.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not trying to trigger you SonOfSpam, but if you need justification to have another beer…

FLYBY!

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

“greetings!”

maverick-bird2.png
fleshwound_NPG

bueckers just as invisible

[dawn staley boss music intensifies]

litre_cola

WHo knew if you played D it would work?

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s women’s college basketball. Very few players play the D.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. is asking! She’s like “you talked her up so much; I’m unimpressed.”

SonOfSpam

She may be the suckiest bunch of suck who ever sucked.

(not intended dirtily)

fleshwound_NPG

THIS CAITLIN CLARK LEMME TELL YA I CALL HER ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND BECAUSE SOMEBODY FROM THE BALKANS IS FUCKING UP HER DAY

Horatio Cornblower

Banner this.

With a bullet.

litre_cola

Grgich Hills wines are some of the best that Napa have to offer. 30 bucks for their zin, same for their chard. Summer bbq wine.

Doktor Zymm

Yummy

litre_cola

I bought a cab and a zin last week in PHX. Got home, I have the same year zin and am smoking ribs tomorrow. Thought I would have a dip in first.

Plus back in Phx in 2 weeks

fleshwound_NPG

catilin clark is finding out how tough people from the balkans are

blaxabbath

American athletes thinking they are tough is funny.

SonOfSpam

Angels had a two-jet fly over for the home opener tonight; the path took them right over our house and it scared the living fuck out of me. Must have beer as a result.

Doktor Zymm

Seems like a reasonable coping mechanism

SonOfSpam

FOR SO MANY THINGS!

litre_cola

Go Birds.

Horatio Cornblower

Obligatory

3f989c08-a072-48da-8f7d-2cafe22a8c39_text.gif
litre_cola

Thoughts? Men’s CBB going to quarters like this, same fouls structure as this. Pros Cons please.

King Hippo

ah fear and reject ALL CHANGE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there really any significant difference? One more heave per half, I’m sure the networks would squeeze in an extra ad break, but neither of those is a big deal.

litre_cola

So UCONN has 4 big minute players hurt. They are this fucking deep that they are here. That is bloody impressive.

*not a Gino fan.

Doktor Zymm

Their starting 5 play basically the whole game. They run more in a game than I probably do in a year

fleshwound_NPG

pretty simple strategy for iowa: run wide open for 3 quarters and wait for them to crash harder than a tesla on autopilot

litre_cola

I watch neither the nba or wnba. I do watch the shit out of both of these tourneys. I think that because of the inexperience and less talent than the pros that the unpredictability is key and this product is more entertaining.

fleshwound_NPG

and neither have the fucking wizards

litre_cola

I SAW JORDAN PLAY FOR THE WIZARDS!

Sorry, I just have to say that for the patheticness.

litre_cola

Here we go! Fighting Horatio’s or Cornfuckers?

Doktor Zymm

Cornfuckers are the favorite, and living nearby they probably have greater immunity to being in Ohio

litre_cola

Tough one. Clark doesnt seem to be a douchebag. Geno is.

fleshwound_NPG

hes got one foot out the door, it would seem

litre_cola

He is totally done. His answers in interviews are so distant and rambling

scotchnaut

Here. We. Go.

Doktor Zymm

I’m sure I read about it at some point, but for some reason I didn’t realize that Magic Johnson was a major stakeholder in the group that bought the Redacteds.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, Armedandhammered, is your kid still working at Center of the Universe Brewing? I may be popping by there tomorrow…

ArmedandHammered

Nope, been gone about 3 years ago, not sure if the brewery is still open

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Internet thinks it is….I’ll report back once I know.

ArmedandHammered

He just hit his 2nd year of sobriety last month and seems to be doing well, if had not left the brewery I think he would still be drinking.

WCS

Congrats to him. I hit two years a couple weeks ago.

Horatio Cornblower

Good for both of you. Keep it up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok then tell him it’s definitely closed

scotchnaut

Heard a Dawn Staley interview and she talked about the Ioway upset last year-the plan was for Clark to get all the points she wanted and shut down everyone else. The problem was that Clark fed the center and the latter ended up with 20+ points. very curious as to how the game unfolds if the final is Ioway/SC

litre_cola

Centre is tres bonne

fleshwound_NPG

caitlin clark has kept herself in impressive shape for somebody that has lived in “fry everything like its the county fair!” iowa for her whole live.

but she is gonna be drafted by a team in indy. that is ABSOLUTELY is gonna be put to the test

fleshwound_NPG

caitlin clark: *gets off plane at indy airport* ah, indianapolis. wonder what is there to do…

*first thing she sees*

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

(and can confirm there is one very close to the airport)

WCS

comment image

litre_cola

Hate to be someone named Tom. Side-eyes a member in Cali.

WCS

Your name isn’t litre_cola?!

scotchnaut

“You don’t want to see me when I’m angry.”

-Dawn Staley

litre_cola

Who wins an arm wrestle? Duce or Dawn?

fleshwound_NPG

wait, paige bueckers was a vikes fan? and once lost the championship game? and has bad enough luck to have missed multiple seasons to injury?

poor soul has seen things

King Hippo

I could comfort her!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeesh. I don’t care what sport you are playing, getting outscored 29-6 in a quarter is a disaster.

King Hippo

I remember watching the menfolk play U*NC one night (maybe a decade ago), we were stuck on “9” or “11” for like 12 minutes of play. They were in the mid-40s when we finally scored and the Chapel Hill crowd cheered.

Not sure I have ever been angrier than that.

WCS

comment image

ArmedandHammered

In Walla Walla Washington, chauffeuring my wife from winery to winery. At Foundry now, was at Grammercy earlier, and we also stopped at Figgins. The last two she is a wine club member. Me, I am here for the food and the weed products. Got a vape pen and carts, some THC drops, and before I leave I am going to pick up some Quantum Gandalf for smoking in my church warden pipe.

litre_cola

Tell me what she thinks of certain wineries on the back channels if you would.

ArmedandHammered

Will do. I do know she loves the wines from Figgins.

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like a fun day for both of you!

Brocky

As a kid I legitimately thought walla walla Washington was a fake place

ArmedandHammered

It is actually really a nice town, is on the short list of retirement possibilities.

scotchnaut

I first heard about it thru Bugs Bunny. Of course it wasn’t a real place.

fleshwound_NPG

“it’s raining threes, but we’re in cleveland, it’s snowing threes.”

no, its burning threes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As opposed to Indianapolis, where it’s congealing threes.

fleshwound_NPG

stroking threes

King Hippo

Good gameplan from Coach Staley. Ran early and often, we got no legs left after HT.

litre_cola

Lady Duce is a fucking good coach.

King Hippo

YARP

fleshwound_NPG

welp. this ones over.

*hits simulate game*

King Hippo

I’d really be lost without 2241-42 Footy Manager season to distract Other Hippo

litre_cola

I can nae not inhale. Sorry not sorry.

ballsofsteelandfury

#3 Yowza!

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, you’ve got to love avid readers!

King Hippo

TRUE DAT. Back when I tried dating, it was always agony to hear “I’m not really much of a reader” over dinner conversation.

ArmedandHammered

Once in college, a friend of mine tried to introduce me to her roommate, who when she heard I liked to read replied she liked books with pictures of horsies. My reply was to question her if those books came with the crayons. She just smiled and walked off. Found out she had a 4.0 and acted dumb because she only likes to date dumb bohunks.

King Hippo

My female BFF never disguised her intellect, but yeah she always dated dolt bohunks (what a great 80s word). Then, she married one.

King Hippo

“Paige” is a universal good-looking woman’s name, yeah?

ballsofsteelandfury

Jennifer agrees.

King Hippo

As opposed to “Mavis”

litre_cola

I have a relative named Mavis who is a smokeshow. Also was in the conservative government, so we don’t talk politics at family gatherings.

King Hippo

A right wing, hot Mavis. My mind…will not comprehend this. It just might be disintegrating just from reading the words.

fleshwound_NPG

nicole does, too

Brocky

I just realized that the term “lady gamecock” is an oxymoron

King Hippo

I was surprised the mascot still has “COCKY” on the back of his jersey (for the women’s games)

Doktor Zymm

Shhh, we don’t wanna rile up the crazies talking about trans-chickens or whatever

King Hippo

Save us from WOKE LIVESTOCK Guv. DeSantis!!!111

Brocky

Evening

Spoiler

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like today’s number is 3

King Hippo

Lots and lots of shoulder excellence, Hippo no can pick

Brocky

#6 jade cargill

…. who you can see this weekend if you order wrestlemania!

2Pack

I absolutely want to be naughty with lady number 4. Fuckin Ouch!

fleshwound_NPG

looks like i tuned in at the EXACT right time…to see nc state’s hope begin to die

King Hippo

oh, we know better than to hope

/yeah I got pulled in dadgummit

scotchnaut

Enough with the fucking airballs Lady Wolves!

scotchnaut

Mange is a bitch!

King Hippo

I would do absolutely anything Sexy Lady of the Week #2 asked me to.

Brocky

How bout…. a formula 1 race car?

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

that’s actually a pretty impressively drawn late 80s indycarcomment image

scotchnaut

Zach Edey has won his second straight Player of the Year award. Caitlin Clark has won her second straight Player of the Year award. According to my math, the Boilermakers meet the Lady Hawkeyes in the Finals. Prove me wrong.

Brocky

I’d pay money to watch those two fight.

Either edey gets beat by a girl or gets a reputation as a woman beater to raise his NBA stock.

It’s a win win

litre_cola

This is just superb work Brocky.

ballsofsteelandfury

So good you replied to the wrong comment

Brocky

I’ll allow it

litre_cola

THC vapes. I am changing. More on that on Sunday!