In these Off-season Open Threads, I’ll sum up the week that was, provide you with TMI-style information, and throw some random spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks.
This week, I am devoting tonight’s post to the NCAA Basketball Tourney Semi Finals.
I hope you know where to watch. If you don’t, it’s CBS TNT.
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First up, is the Zombie TWBSes versus the Boilermakers of Purdue.
If the Wolfpack win tonight, pour out a bit of freezer vodka on the ground for Ole TWBS.
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Second up are The Fighting Lowratios versus Alabama.
If the Huskies win tonight, pour out a bit of Irish Cream on the ground tonight. I know Lowratio will.
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That’s all I’ve got. Enjoy the games.
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Your weekly Psych gif:
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Your weekly hot girl pic:
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Your weekly music video:
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Alabama’s ability to make insanely difficult shots is really pissing me off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YQ_s0i-D-Q
I haven’t seen someone from Alabama fucked this hard since the last visit to my cousin!
Here’s Bill Haley and his Comets doing “Rock Around the Clock”
Possibly the first Rock & Roll, although many critics says Chuck Berry was first
Watch this short video. It’s got all going on
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgdufzXvjqw
https://youtu.be/Y9a49oFalZE
Heard this posited as first rnr as well
She’s hot shit. Would have loved to see her.
I’ll send you a deepfake porn with her and Oscar Wilde.
I enjoyed the Olivia Wilde search way more.
There’s no end to “First Rock and Roll Tune”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=260hXID0Yo0&ab_channel=The78Prof
They’re all good, but I think really there’s no dividing line between rhythm and blues and electric instruments. So good
Bill Hailey: [says “Rock” 27 times]
Dumb People: “He sure was the first guy to rock and roll, I’ll tell you what! He ain’t never said Roll? That ain’t matter one bit!”
Heard a Dan Patrick interview of Danny Hurley recently. He tried to obfuscate but it was obvious that he hates his dad so much.
WOOOOOOO LIVE FOOTY!
GO GWS!
Also I’m almost certainly going to bed at quarter time. I’m exhausted.
How did the game go?
We lost but other than one bad kick, I played pretty well, had fun, and am uninjured.
But I have a guernsey tan….
Sweet!
THESE AD BREAKS I CALL THEM MY INCOME TAX PAYMENT AND MY HOMEOWNER’S INSURANCE PAYMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE BACK TO BACK AND I HATE THEM.
So wrestlemania is in Philadelphia, and Lincoln field…
And a fan has a sign “santa deserved it”
if it were in chicago the sign would look different
West coasties- Falcon 9 rocket launch in 2 or 3 minutes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVDef-iaLhg
Oh I am nice and toasty, thank you empty stomach!
In early first grad school I had a breathalyzer I bought off ThinkGeek and it was a total hit at parties. Also just generally useful. Kinda wish I still had it, no idea what happened to it.
“Yeah, where on earth did that thing go? So weird that it just disappeared, right?” – your liver
I’m pretty sure my liver likes having personal data just as much as the rest of me. That BAC data would be priceless in contract negotiations with the central nervous system
I do not understand the thinking behind the Buffalo Wild Wings commercial.
“Come to our restaurant, where you can eat mediocre food while trying not to be trampled and/or gored by an enormous talking bison that might be able to fly!!”
What don’t you get? It makes completes sense. Dollars in the cash register.
That’s actually been my answer to “where do you see youself in five years?” in interviews. Maybe that’s why I’m still unemployed
If there’s a Hall of Fame of “evil girlfriend” songs, this one’s in it. She even has a skull & crossbones in her logo: do you need more of a hint?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7AvWo2_850
The reason Alabama is keeping it close is insane shooting from 3, UConn being sort of cold from 3, and most importantly Nate Oats being a good enough coach that as soon as UConn showed the merest hint of a run he called a TO and put a stop to that nonsense.
Take notes, Underwood.
Also I would very much like Oats to coach more like Underwood.
This is what I was looking for when I found the hooker down below.
https://twitter.com/mcs212/status/1776622947752440085
Elon Musk and his antics have kept me entertained no matter how dire the newscycle. While it’s alarming that this man has power, I’m glad he’s using it to make the rest of us feel better about our lives
Somebody’s got an interview with SpaceX coming up real soon.
Tesla is about 5 minutes away and I actually did apply there but gotta say I was nawt crushed when they didn’t even want to interview me
https://twitter.com/s8n/status/1776792019567816850
Ex’s tune that she loved. Caveat: she didn’t know what they were about-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J16lInLZRms&ab_channel=CreedVEVO
It’s like the adult version of loving the Narnia books! I had no idea Aslan was Jesus and I’m nawt going to ruin it by rereading as an adult
Helpful Life-Hack:
If you turn your underpants inside-out you can wear them for another two weeks
Supplemental life hack: underpants come in multipacks and are also washable so you only really have to wear them for a long time if you’re a hostage or on an Asian game show
You are good for six months, soldier!
Interviewer: “Danny, why is your team so good?”
Hurley: “We
drink the blood of the innocentpractice really hard every day.”Hmmm, Mansfield is dealing with a reduced population of elementary school-aged children these days…
Alabama’s something like 80% from 3 and pulling some shots out of their ass and UConn went cold from 3.
UConn still up 4. It’s been quite the season.
Another ex’s fave tune-Brand New Friend. She was the most smartest person I’ve ever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9NY7RJVxpk&ab_channel=LloydCole-Topic
Oh well done, friend of mine’s AirBNB host!
I have a lovely friend who rents out her house in Old Town Alexandria (Virginia) on AirBNB and she goes to live in Nice France in another AirBNB. She loves it, and good for her. I tell her that I could never do that. My home is my castle; no other dickhead is coming in here.
You were in the Navy. Someone certainly came in your castle, sir.
You were obviously not in the Navy, you young ruffian. Google “stealing the XO’s door.” I’m not going to do it for you. Even in the internet age they never give away the secret . . .
I wouldn’t mind as long as anything personal is removed first. I was a couchsurfing host for a while and that was great, but I was there. If it’s randos they are getting Ikea crap
In Maryland we called em’ whoopie pies
In western PA they are called gobs.
That’s kinda gross!
Garden salsa flavor are the best Sun chips. It is known.
Ex-girlfriend’s fave songs? Brick started it. Here we go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IA-1PbsAZnU&ab_channel=CrowdedHouseVEVO
This was one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTVjnBo96Ug
Yeah, good times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u58IHiS6Yg4&pp=ygUPY2FubmliYWwgY29ycHNl
What was her favorite song again? Oh, right the one she had a tattoo of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpmAY059TTY
Christ, just pick anything from the Rod Stewart catalog.
grumble grumble when you described her as a fan of rods i though you were talking about your mom grumble grumble
Best Rod Stewart Song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95zxtaKQBBc&ab_channel=RodStewart
The great thing about Final Four games is the way all the commercials really allow the game to flow.
What’s in your wallet?
A condom from 1996?
/oh wait, rhetorical query
I still have a Blockbuster card!
Me too! I found it in an old wallet along with a Spencer’s loyalty card
I have one too!
Might just be me, but using a condom for an own goal is glorious.
Very tidy!
This lady gets it! And I still have clean socks for tomorrow!
Happy Saturday!
This was a favorite song of a girl I loved in my youth, therefore I also loved it. It was from my record collection even though I didn’t know it.
Please enjoy responsibly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdmLfI1RzHA
Good taste in gals!
Both a good song and the Powerpuff Girls are awesome. That’s gotta be a rewatch for me soon.
Yeah but I lost the girl. I think she was trying to kill me anyway.
She sounds intriguing
Good Zymm, I hope you’ll put roses on my grave, ma’am.
Do you have a color preference?
Just brush the dirt off my headstone, Zymm. That’s all I ask.
That’s what the rain is for.
You have no idea how dirty outdoor shit gets in California. The dry season just means everything gets coated with grime and it’s too ground in for the rainy season to wash it off. People here just think it’s normal, but this state is filthy
She will, when she’s sitting back, in her rose pink Cadillac. Making bets on Kentucky Derby day.
Danny Hurley is the pic on the “He seemed completely normal” Wiki page.
I don’t think anyone’s ever said that about Hurley.
That’s why I admire him so much. He’s the GOAT of hooker killers.
/glares angrily
-Craig James
I’ve seen a couple of cybertrucks in the wild now and they are basically just a big hunk of metal. Yes they’re different than anything else on the highway, so they do draw the eye, but they honestly look better in photos.
hunk of metal means no crumble zones, all the energy in a crash goes to the passengers, even more so if (when) the airbags do not deploy (already seen one crash where that happened). heaven help you too if you get hit by one
tesla might as well make a trim model that has a big ole number 3 on the side and call it the dale earnhardt sr. edition
Yeah, no idea if it did NTSB crash testing (is that a requirement?) but have also seen at least one report of break failure combined with no airbags. Just gotta hope that most people who bought one crash into a tree or something when they ‘offroad’ on a perfectly passable dirt road
cybertruck is the most safe offroad; it cannot move https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2024-03-07/tesla-cybertruck-offroading-on-california-beach-ends-with-a-glitch
They do?
Oh wait wrong photo.
really is money for nothin
Note: I didn’t say it looked GOOD in photos, I said it looked BETTER
Looks like the earliest prototype of a Delorean.
I like this one though, his nickname could be cybertruck and that would be really cool in 1989ish
Whoopsie doodle!
https://jalopnik.com/tesla-cybertruck-owners-forum-is-already-full-of-tales-1851388334
I saw one on the 405 last week. It looks like a drunken wrecked stealth bomber.
I’ve officially stolen this photo:
Seems like a rip off, although I will admit I have nawt checked prices on handles of shitty vodka recently.
When I’m back east I use these jugs to refuel my Tesla rental car.
Have a headache just from the pic.
Lightweight
I can assure you I am a legit fatty.
Rookie
Some of my friends in college tried putting shitty vodka through a water filter to make it less awful and discovered a great way to ruin a water filter
For those of you who were discussing it earlier, taco bell was named after it’s founder, Glen Bell.
He originally had bell’s drive in that sold hot dogs, then started serving tacos
“Hey, don’t forget about me!”
-co-founder Billy Taco
Billy taco sounds like a porn name.
Bur not a good porn.
Like the kind where everyone gets tested for STD’s twice…. before and after shooting
….including the camera man
I wanna see a spec script on my desk by Thursday.
“Gone with the Rrhea”
“Star Warts”
Oozy Floozies.
“Syd n’ Phyllis”
why have they not done a hot dog taco, in his honor
This is an important question, although some people would argue that a hot dog is already a taco because the bun is connected on the bottom but we all know it is just an infinite series of nested sandwiches
replace bun with big taco shell. a coney dog but taco-fied. you can even do a doritos locos tacos version (doritos locos perros)
i just made taco bell 2 trillion dollars with this post, should they follow it.
Interesting idea.
Part of the brilliance of tacos is their versatility
Thank you! So it’s like Wendy’s but just with a name that is also a noun and they used the noun in the logo
I would eat at least 10 taco bell hot dogs with nacho cheese sauce.
You know what? I’m making these for myself tomorrow.
I believe they were also kinda involved with “Der Wienerschnitzel” fast-food franchises in explosively-growing Southern California. They didn’t know the “Wiener” meant the city of Vienna Austria, not a hot dog.
Dogs: [track mud all over the place after being let in the door]
Me: [walks six feet past the door to take shoes off]
Wife: “WHY ARE YOU LEAVING MUD ALL OVER THE HOUSE???”
Also Wife: [makes huge mess after going for a hike] “Welp, what are you going to do? It’s that time of the year.” [shrugs shoulders]
Me: [accesses hobo tracking app on Apple watch, starts to feel better]
I have heard that some people have a thing called a ‘mud room’ for exactly this situation.
I was part of the Apple team on that hobo tracking app. If you could give a “like” on the Apple page that could me out a lot. God bless.
Fun story from the early smartphone era: I had the G1, the original Android phone (and it was awesome with a physical keyboard btw) and was exploring the whole idea of ‘apps’. There was a recommended app that alerted you if there was a registered sex offender nearby, so I tried it out. Turns out this is not a good idea in any high density population area, such as, for example, Chicago. I basically just turned my phone into a device that constantly and loudly said ‘Warning! Warning! Sex Offender nearby!’
Had no idea that Brick lived near you back in the day.
Holy shit Indy is cold as fuck.
A couple of hours in and this trip is already incredible.
Get some gravy in those veins!
Sunday Gravy more like Everyday Gravy amirite?
a day without gravy in indiana is…a day on the hospital bed recovering from heart attack number seven
Done and DONE!
The whole state is cold.
Where you headed?
Already here. Indy for the eclipse.
Is…is it….
I fly out on Saturday. It’s 66 today; mid 70s thereafter here. I can’t imagine any scenario where I correctly pack for this trip.
I also selected a hotel a few blocks from the convention space because I need that cold as a buffer to keep that stuff all over there — hopefully downwind.
I’m staying about 30 yards from Lucas Oil stadium. Right across the street. Everything is within walking distance.
Ooh, see if you can find the memorial gravesite of Peyton’s first forehead!
Regardless of the outcome, Lowratio’s chances of survival this weekend are about 65%.
PLACE YOUR GLAMBORS
I’ll put $5 on medically induced coma
Always the right hedge, yo
Free range Lowratio will outlive Horatio, so you know where my GLAMBORS(?) are being placed.
Without a master and mistress to serve, he’ll shrivel up pretty quick tho
Like Woodhouse if Archer died first.
I hate all of you equally.
Just know that.
Okay, pinko.
Jason kelce and lane johnson just crashed a wrestlemania match
Ok, but where’s TayTay?!?
Doing more important shit with her time
I’m not a “shit”, but yes.
Probably clubbing in Tokyo with or without the other Kelce?
I assumed lane johnson was travis at first
“I enjoy clubbing people in Tokyo too”
-B. Parcells
Caitlin Clark’s 4 turnovers on Friday night isn’t featured in her stat line because it doesn’t fit the narrative.
She’s probably on the rag.
What I like to call pre-lubed
Her and Scott Joplin, amirite?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rad6UvoGHV8&list=OLAK5uy_kN9IIegXLZCUU822-xT3qTlbQ7d4yk140&ab_channel=JoshuaRifkin-Topic
I’m unimpressed by hugely complex websites that gather information from across the globe and bounces it off satellites to show me cat pictures, yet every time I use my electric wine opener I’m like “oooh! MAGIC!!”
Kind of like real cats, too.
Legit
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cae4N5Gt-HO/?igsh=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==
So NC State lost in the Final Four in both the men’s and women’s tourneys? What a pathetic showing.
What a pack of losers was sitting right there. Just saying, Spam. smgdh…
I an shame
JOIN US UConn, boogity boogity!!!
UConn: “No”
So final four is over, now I can focus on wrestlemania
I wasn’t planning on drinking tonight, but I ended up hanging around the stables all day generally running around, doing chores, and of course riding while also not eating. I have the emptiest of empty stomachs right now and it seems a shame to waste such a cheap date with myself so I’m chilling a bottle of rosé and am gonna get super tipsy off a glass before dinner!
a glass? Singular? You must be jesting!
Could be one of them fishbowls, like
I’ll probably have somewhere between a half to a whole bottle over the course of the evening, but I know from experience that one glass consumed at a moderate pace will absolutely get me skinny teenage girl tipsy when I haven’t eaten and have been exerting myself
Tracy Moleson can give Edey a BJ while both are fully erect
Tracy Moleson is almost a popular Canadian beer.
All right, time to watch Senorita Weaselo play Mahler 1. The tickets weren’t free, but they are tax deductible for work purposes for next April.
yep, we’re done here
jim irsay after the contents of his duffle bag are exhausted
I hope you assholes are happy. All of your collective rooting for a chunky guy from NC state is sending one of my least favorite college programs to the finals
You should have joined a college fantasy league and started Eady.
no way in HELL they beat uconn non-women
You REALLY want me to tempt fate with this?
Horatio and RTD would probably rather yinz not
big man got that rec league stamina
im a good dad: the 3 year old likes watching old music videos with me on youtube, seems drawn to heart and queen (unleash the archers and sabaton if we’re talking newer stuff)
im a bad dad: asked the 3 year old what to get to eat tonight. she said two words: taco bell
Can’t be that bad. That’s what I had for dinner!
It’s bad when you develop IBS at age 35 🤬
You’ve raised well
I’ve always wondered where the name came from. Something like Burger King makes sense because Kings are better than mere commoners, so obviously any sort of burger associated with kingship should be good. But bells? Bells tend to be used in time keeping and medieval warning systems, so is it saying you have time to cram a taco in your face after class but before being slain by Vikings?
It’s obviously Pavlov’s Dog.
Who would have guessed that Charles Barkley would be the best-dressed guy on the broadcast?
I’m not saying that the Boilermaker cheerleaders are truck stop rescues but I’m also not saying that their phone numbers are easily accessed on the walls of men’s bathrooms in Muncie.
Ah, I knew I recognized some of them!
I’d like to add that Truck Stop Rescues is what the Cowboy Junkies should have named themselves if this world was 25% better.
Just your ordinary, stressfree win from the Reds.
last night i tuned in right with the nc state wimmins hopes started to disappear into the shadow realm
good to see i got the opposite touch tonight
Necessary ingredients for the Ultimate TWBS Séance :
Freezer Vodka
Golf Cap
Starbucks To-Go Cup
Alexa Bliss Poster
Mis-rolled Joint
You misspelled “Starbucks waitress”.
Or weed dealer. Or really any mid 20’s lass at any retail store.
Is human sacrifice allowed at a seance? I mean apart from being not not allowed.
(That should have been to Ayo, but it works regardless.)
I don’t know. A “barista” may throw off the spiritual vibe.
Also this
That last play by N.C. State:
Yeah, that was embarrassing
I hope you know where to watch. If you don’t, it’s CBS.
I think it’s actually on TBS. I’m watching via the March Madness app thingy.
That shows you how old I am that I assumed it was CBS.
I’d have done the same. The only reason I went straight to cable is because I saw something earlier today mocking CBS for not having the rights.
its not a cop show. duh.