You’re not getting much from me today. I did not write this post ahead of time, as I usually do, and I just came back from playing golf (badly) in the heat.
I’m so tired, I have no energy to bitch at y’all for criticizing my beloved Marika and her slutty picture. I’m just going to reuse last week’s gif:
I am slightly disappointed that this site has nudity standards because Marika has some outstanding pictures of herself at the beach topless. She got some nice nipples, yo! You know who else has nice nipples?
I am voting for RFK’s nipples and I suggest you do too.
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Golf Update
I got a Par today on a Par 5 that I’m hoping will get me a Skin but I kinda doubt it. It was a pretty forgettable round. Two 10’s, a 9, and an 8.
Yeah.
It’s still fun, though, and I had a good group. I was happy with my choices of clubs for the 4 Club Tourney. On to the next one!
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Copa América
Canadá needs to beat Uruguay tonight to get the official 3rd Place spot. Uruguay is probably still pissed off about the Colombia game. Canadá is pissed off because of how they’ve been treated.
I predict at least one fight and I will be greatly disappointed if one of the Canadians doesn’t pull an Uruguayan’s jersey over his head during the fight.
Tomorrow is the final and I’ve got Colombia as your winner. What say you?
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I saw the NATO press conference and, as I mentioned on DFO as it was happening, he was putting me to sleep. Joe’s Gotta Go.
I need to put that on a T-shirt and start selling it.
I think it would be really funny if both Biden and Trump died of natural causes prior to the election. No one is prepared for that scenario.
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Women I would not bang with Peter North’s dick:
- Lauren Sanchez
- Kamala Harris
- Any of the current pop stars of today’s music (including Taylor Swift)
Women I think y’all think are disgusting but that I would absolutely bang if given the chance:
- Marika
- Megyn Kelly
- Kayleigh McEnany
- Tomi Lahren
- Tulsi Gabbard
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As a quick reminder, the full Summer of Soccer schedule is below:
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Your weekly Psych gif:
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Your weekly hot girl pic:
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Your weekly music video:
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One last thing:
CAN’s playing better than URU. Great game. Need more controlled substances, less control.
Canadian fans are bombarding the Uruguayan players’ families with maple syrup and poutine. The Uruguayan players are storming the stands because they want some, too.
Jodie Foster is trending on Twitter.
NY Post is reporting that the shooter was a Chinese man. So I guess it really *was* IMMIGRANTS.
So many racist jokes…
*lacist
His family is gonna leave a 1-star review for his plastic gun on Temu
The Post probably wrote that story three months ago and is just running with it.
When I said that I wanted to experience what life was like in the late sixties this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.
I mean, I hear the drugs weren’t that good either
of course the witness looks like this
Ginger Amish beardy!
Look, I think Jodie Foster has to at least meet Hinkley for one date now, don’t you?
This type of thing only happens in shithole countries.
no, the shithole countries finish the deed. we are not even good enough to be a “shithole”
Bullshit. Do you not remember the 60s and 70s?
Of course I do.
Because I was alive to witness them.
Remember I moved to LA in early 1992.
We’re not that far from Florence and Normandy.
Wife: “Where are the documents that need to be burnt? Where did you put them?”
Me: “The ones that were in the empty beer case?”
Wife: “YES! Where did you put them???”
Me: “I didn’t touch them.”
Wife: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes. [looks over at fire she’s about to start, sees pile of papers in empty beer case, points] Do you mean those papers over there by the fire?”
Wife: [dead silence]
/it’s a small W but I’ll take it and never reference it again ever.
Any important news I should be aware of before overnight shift…?
You still have power there?
If so, nothing to worry about.
If you get a 911 call from any political rallies in PA go ahead and put them on hold.
Oh shit.
“the shooter must be from Buffalo cuz this is wide right III”
That’s fucking great!
Banner?
That joke’s far more on target than the actual shot.
know who wouldve ducked and not get hit
“Shoe me once, shame on you. Shoe me twice, & I’ve got a new pair of shoes”
CANADIA!
Purty
GO HAT!
SHOW THE LIBERALS HOW TO NOT MISS A TARGET!
We all need this at this trying time:
https://youtu.be/WddwluTpmgY?si=O0gGJQunOlTWNbcM
It’s gotta be a 3d printed gun right?
Ghost gun!
Probably some dick sheriff playing with his firearm in the back, trying to impress some sunburnt MILF.
That’s my thinking. A hunk of plastic even more inaccurate than your average handgun.
musk donated to trump very recently and the very next trump rally bricked like a tesla
speaking of which, today was my first time seeing a dumb cybertruck in the wild
of all places, it was at a walmart parking lot
Did you slash the tires or test a rock against its windows?
waste of time, it will die on its own
It’s on its third recall, I try not to drive near them on the highway
I’ve only seen one somehow. But your strategy seems the correct course of action.
We’ve got a bakers dozen between here and work.
Dok is correct. That thing is one big blind spot.
No, the thing to do is fill a spray bottle or water pistol with bleach and give it a few good sprays. Rust: the silent killer.
/not the film Rust, pretty sure the killing there involved a loud noise
Or, do the Defector approved tactic and toss deli meats at it and see which ones stick.
“Today you became like a son to me, Mr. Ayo. Which is to say that I’m very disappointed in you.”
Can we start calling the motherfucker Evander yet or is it still too soon?
Someone other than Trump was shot and killed at Trump rally?
Sure hope the victim is Rodger Goodell.
I look at it as one less Trump voter in PA, and every time that happens an angel gets its wings.
TWIST: THE SHOOTER IS THE ZOMBIE OF ASHLI BABBIT
That coward never had the guts to pull the trigger.
I understand the intestines decompose quickly, so her zombie would be unlikely to have guts
Dry lightning in the forecast in the Sierras, hope they raked the forest during that heatwave
(almost verbatim)
MSNBC Reporter: “You witnessed the person in the stands getting shot. What was his condition?”
Man: “They were dead.”
MSNBC Reporter: “Did anyone come to their aid?”
Man: “What part of dead don’t you understand?”
Good to see Charlotte is such a strong supporter of the Copa
The man has his priorities straight.
I understand. Hell, in Philly? You might get chants like when Osama was killed.
Kind of curious what the GOP thinks about Gun Rights now.
Exactly the same as they did yesterday
No, they all answer to Trump now. If Trump says “Get rid of the guns”, they’ll go door-to-door to take them.
But Trump isn’t gonna say that, 5-1 he shows up on stage at the convention with the biggest gun he can buy
He can’t buy a gun, he’s a convicted felon.
Guarantee if he does he’ll do more damage to himself than that shooter just did. At a minimum he’ll blow off three toes.
Not necessarily his own.
[gasps in horror] – Rex Ryan
Thoughts and prayers
Duh
I really wish someone had the balls to respond that way when asked for comment
Twitter is down, lol
There’s a silver lining to everything.
I hope it’s permanent.
Shoulda used a bump stock…
I’ll refrain my jokes for common decency and so the Secret Service doesn’t pay me a visit.
All I wish is for Trump is healing and to take this as a sign to step back from the hustle and bustle of life and retire in a Non-Extradition Country.
Common decency?
You’re in the wrong place, sir.
I hope he dies of sepsis and I hope it hurts.
Hell, I didn’t shoot him. Anything that happens after isn’t on me.
I love that 3 of us made variations of the same Favre dick joke simultaneously. MY PEOPLE
This wasn’t far outside Pittsburgh, is WCS on duty right now? Hell of a first month if so
Two fucking inches.
Dick.
– D. Favre
*Deanna Farve has left the chat in disgust *
[swoons]
-D. Farve
I was in the pool!
— G. Costanza
One of these things is not like the other
Color me skeptical. That many ‘shots’ and nothing hit except maybe grazing Trump’s ear? When he was surrounded by people? And would have had to have been from outside the rally compound, since sounds like they have decent security for getting in, not to mention they would have no chance of escape from actually within the rally. If it were me, I would have someone set off some fireworks outside to provide a distraction while I used a small poison dart, one shot one kill
This is why you are a professional assassin.
Allegedly.
Thought that Covalent Blonde was the Assassin
Dok travels the world in first class.
That’s Double O Seven territory there.
I’ve got 96 colors but a skeptical ain’t one.
Yeah, the shooter is dead, a crowd member is dead, and another is in serious condition. This wasn’t staged.
That doesn’t tell me shit about it being staged in 2024.
I’ve seen reporting that it was actually glass from the shattered teleprompter that cut Trump’s ear, not sure if that’s accurate.
You’re going to see a lot of people praise the Secret Service’s response but from watching the video I’m completely unimpressed. The way they let him expose himself before getting him away from the scene is absolutely inexcusable. There very easily could have been a second shooter, or even more. They sent SIX after Franz Ferdinand.
I would think you would be the opposite of unimpressed.
They LET him be exposed…
Where are you seeing this? Nothing coming in on standard news outlets that I can see?
Ah ok, just hit the AP
It was 3 to 4 solid seconds before the secret service finished shitting their pantaloons and then responded.
Or 3 or 4 solid seconds before it would make it obvious they were leaving an opening…
Look, I’d take a lot longer than 3-4 seconds before putting myself between anyone and a bullet, let alone that asshole.
four year old wants to go outside and play
not now, kid, our balkanization is happening right now
two people dead, including suspect
took a pic of my griddle with brats n peppers/onions about and hour and a half ago and i am going to keep it for years, strongest alibi i got so far (date/time stamp)
I’m sure Trump isn’t going to make use of this to show how much more strong and vital than Biden he is. Or to raise money. Or to win in November.
Can you imagine being a Secret Service against whose job it is to take a bullet for this guy?
SEND $$$ FOR LEGAL FUND AND BANDAIDS
Send Paper towel
He got hit in the ear while standing. I’m thinking pipebomb.
Now we know why liberals want to take away our guns.
They can’t shoot straight, so they don’t want anyone to have them.
Billy Joel said only the good die young. So of course that wasn’t gonna hit. Agent Orange is immortal.
guess who hit a home run today
his 13th of the season
Redshirt?
I thought it was mourning of Dr. Ruth, but Castellanos knows.
(DoorFliesOpen; runs in, slam door shut, locks door, closes blinds, looks to see if followed, turns around, struggles to catch break, clear guys)
“Hey guys, what’s going on?”
You were here the whole time
Relax, you were here the whole time
My hope is that it was a car backfiring or something and Trump freaked out, fell down, and shat himself.
he survived the ‘rona and now this, he’s gonna get some super final destination shit for his final curtain
i would go full madden if i were him and refuse to board a plane
I suppose this is one of those “golden rule” situations and we can respond the same way the right did when Paul Pelosi was assaulted and start spreading rumors that the person who shot Trump was a jilted gay lover?
You know, Joe Biden was in Pennsylvania today also.
It’s too bad he’s not a better shot, but he’ll get another chance — thanks to the Supreme Court, he has immunity.
Dark Brandon, The “Official Act” Era
😘👌🏼
I don’t think that’s how the golden rule is supposed to work, but I don’t really care so go for it
pretty sure it was mtg since she actually cannot aim and fire a gun correctly, as pictured:
The scope might take her eye out in that one, seeing as she has entirely neglected to nestle the stock in her shoulder to absorb the recoil. I bet she would just start selling. Branded eyepatches or something though
Gettysburg PA, July 3 2022
Aw man, I got a breaking news alert that Trump was rushed somewhere, but it’s just offstage not to the hospital
Dammit it people. Go to the gun range and learn to aim first.
I’m thinking it was just some jackass with some leftover fireworks.
A battery throwing Hannibal Lecter in a shark costume. In the library, with a candlestick.
Well this should really tamp down all the calls for political violence coming from the GOP.
Lol
these things happen in threes
*checks breaking news*
…most of the time.
pence finally had the courage, but not the steady hand and aim
I was surprised that Dr. Ruth and Richard Simmons were still alive. I thought they both died a long time ago.
RFK Jr. is going to a lot of effort to put up 105 there.
Earlier today I told my wife that Dr. Ruth had died and she, who is convinced that these things happen in 3s, (Shelly Duvall yesterday), wondered who was next. As it happened I was watching The Quick And The Dead which starts Gene Hackman, who is 94 and I think in pretty bad health. So I took him.
Almost immediately Richard Simmons died, so I’d like to apologize to his family.
Anyway, here he is in one of the funniest sketches I have ever seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-r4Flc_d2M
This girl rocks:
https://youtu.be/08Ng5vtKr8U?si=7TsnnwifOcG64mCl
I hear that if we take America black we’ll never go back
Speaking of black*, Richard Simmons died today too.
*by which I mean black days in the history of America
Richard Simmons AND Dr. Ruth?
If that’s not a set up for a punch line then I don’t know y’all anymore
I haff heard zat Reechard Zimmons luffs ze mutual masturbation.
CIA’s Clandestine Branch (secretly) agrees with this.