The One-Eyed Man is King: 2024 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Season Preview (and Open Thread)

2023 PREDICTION: 4-13

2023 REALITY:  9-8; not good, but good enough for the NFC South title

The 2023 season was a good one for the Bucs, mediocre record in a trash division notwithstanding. They exceeded expectations. This was down to two (and only two) factors:

  1. Baker Mayfield emerged from his cocoon as a competent game-manager quarterback, and
  2. They emphatically put the final bullet in the back of the ailing Eagles’ skull in the Wild Card round, 32-9.

I was certain that GM Jason Licht was going to repeat his history by canning coach Todd Bowles to keep offensive coordinator Dave Canales. You may recall that Licht summarily executed Lovie Smith in order to ensure that offensive supergenius (snicker) Dirk Koetter didn’t bolt to another team.

Well, Licht showed that he has learned a second lesson in his ten years at the helm in Tampa (the first lesson being “sign a spurned Tom Brady”). Canales went to division rival Carolina. Bowles stuck despite their defense being tissue-paper against the pass.

2024 Big Damn Changes:

Relatively few changes, as most of their efforts were directed at keeping Mayfield, Antoine Winfield Jr., and Ageless Mike Evans. And they succeeded! However, they lost Devin White and cut Shaq Barrett (who subsequently signed with the Dolphins, lost all hope and then retired).

They also did very little to help their secondary. Their sack and pressure stats were middle of the road, which suggests a coverage problem. So running it back with essentially the same secondary is certainly A Choice.

Mostly, it’s going to be an interesting year for new offensive coordinator Liam Coen. He’s got a weird resume:

-Los Angeles Rams (2018–2019)
Assistant wide receivers coach

-Los Angeles Rams (2020)
Assistant quarterbacks coach
-University of Kentucky (2021)
Offensive coordinator & quarterbacks coach
-Los Angeles Rams (2022)
Offensive coordinator
-University of Kentucky (2023)
Offensive coordinator & quarterbacks coach

So his Sean McVay pedigree is obvious- even if you didn’t see his work history, you’d know from his picture:

Yep. Another white, under-40 goofy-looking fucker with a perpetual “I’ve been on PTO for two weeks and haven’t shaved” beard. Quelle surprise

Last year, the offense was very much a Josh McDaniels Patriots-style affair: lots of short passes that essentially took the place of a running game. If Coen’s time at Kentucky is any indication, the playcalling will be more balanced though still favoring the pass. That’s bad news for Baker, particularly since he doesn’t figure in the running game like Coen protege Will Levis.

That said, teams are unlikely to give up throwing against this secondary. Accordingly, the Bucs will likely find themselves in a lot of shootouts. Will this reawaken the Rex Grossman in Mayfield? Or will he become another victim of the McVay Coaching Bush?

He’s fucking doomed

SCHEDULE CONSIDERATION:

Shit. They start off with Jayden Daniels’ first real game. They play Denver in Week 3, in what very well may be Bo Nix’s first game. And they have six games against the Falcons, Saints and Panthers. If they go anything less than 6-2 in that stretch, Bowles should be fired. Out of the stupid pirate ship cannon at Raymond James.

Ah, who am I kidding? The cannon’s pretty sweet.

2024 PREDICTION: 9-8.

NFL NEWS:

-Man…

JJ McCarthy, this year’s recipient of the Johnny Manziel Memorial Most Punchable Draft Pick Award, may be done for the season already. McCarthy tore his meniscus in his first preseason action, and will undergo surgery to confirm the severity and repair whatever they find.

I wanted to see him suffer. I wanted his Zach Wilson/Sam Darnold/Brady Quinn trajectory played out on the field. I wanted to watch his ambition die on the carpet of the BirdMurderDome when the 2-10 Michael Penix-led Falcons take their third pick-six of the game to the house.

Godspeed, JJ McFuckFace. Your destiny awaits you.

-Fast start for Browns second-round pick Mike Hall. The rookie defensive tackle (allegedly) managed a Modified Tyreek, a KHunt and a Couchless Greg Hardy, all before the second preseason game.

-AiyukWatch 2024: HE’S GOING TO PITTSBURGH! MAYBE! THERE IS AN OFFER!

Just a stunning own-goal by the Niners if true. No word on compensation, but the Steelers don’t have anyone (other than TJ Watt or possibly the entirety of their secondary) who would help them as much this year as a happy Aiyuk.

BWAHAHAHAHAAHA. God, I love the Jets. Never change.

 

 

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; aloof yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called some of these things.
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scotchnaut

The only part of any of the dreams I had last night that I can recall is Aubrey Plaza saying, “You can call me”. Funny, that.

King Hippo

I’d frame that dream forever!

DJ TAJ

I never have and I never will say
It is what it is

WCS

Even when the #LOLMets aren’t even all that #LOLzy, there’s always, ALWAYS #LOLJets.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

🚘 🔥

IMG_1739.jpeg
WCS

/ blames BIG WOKE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can’t wait to see Cletus the Slack Jawed OC get recycled around the league another 4 times before he gets Kotited

Doktor Zymm

I know it’s completely inconsistent with the word origin, but I still think there should be an antiletariat

Gumbygirl

What about antistitutes? They get paid to not have sex?

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like a good gig, I spend most of my time not having sex!

Bogdanski

I’ve always wanted to propose a hyperthesis

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What’s your secret?” – JD Vance’s couch

Redshirt

Watching Lethal Weapon for the first time (yeah, I know), and, except for the death wish thing, I find myself identifying with Riggs.

2Pack

I’m getting too old for that shit.

Bogdanski

Sorry, unrelated to Buccaneers but
question for parents that have/had kids enrolled in music lessons: They keep saying they don’t want to quit but it’s like pulling teeth to get them to practice. I try and be an example, practicing drumw when they’re around, and even trying to learn some piano on top but they don’t seem to care.
I don’t know that I expect much advice so much as I just wanna vent but any advice would be great. Thanks

Bogdanski

And I apologize; I get this doesn’t fit the general tenor of the blog but I figured I’d give it a shot

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think we have such a thing as ‘off topic’ here

Doktor Zymm

I was exactly the same way as a kid. I think possibly all kids are like that. I seem to recall some success with a chart and stickers

Game Time Decision

This is the way and what we did too

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Without stickers I’m not even sure Eli would have made it off the bench in high school, let alone have beaten Tom Brady in multiple Super Bowls.” – Olivia Manning

Last edited 3 months ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
SonOfSpam

Specific practice time each night, reward (small obvs) if all practice accomplished. Six days a week. Depending on (gestures vaguely at empty room) age and instrument, maybe 15-20 minutes to start, or 30 with older kids. And of course “Hey that sounded great!” even if it sounded like the noise I made when I sat on my balls last week.

Last edited 3 months ago by SonOfSpam
Bogdanski

Thanks everyone, I now know I just have to hit them harder (30000% joke, please don’t report me)

Gumbygirl
2Pack

After the Sunday shopping my fast (and very poor) math says that given this years higher produce costs, the small veggie garden is saving me about $400 or more this year. Production has been good this season. Looks like no olives this year however.

ballsofsteelandfury

Nice! That’s really good!

2Pack

Wifey is sharing stuff with the ladies she works with, it’s been a bumper “crop”.

Unsurprised

You have a garden? Hey, everyone. Check out Jeff bezos over here.

SonOfSpam

Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice was not affected by the harsh winter.

2Pack

Thank goodness.
We had a mild winter but a ton of spring and early summer rain. That screwed over the olive tree but everything else seems to be thriving.

SonOfSpam

Olives and their oil are wonderful, so I’m sorry about that, but I’m very happy for your bounty.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is one of the worst summers I’ve had with my garden. Probably because I’m not growing weed.

2Pack

Sorry to hear that.

Unsurprised

That guy looks like Nic Cage in an early Coen Bros movie.

Doktor Zymm

Roof is outside and ceiling is inside, so shouldn’t it be the ceiling of your mouth?

SonOfSpam

Mouth is a sandwich, tongue is the meat, ppl forget that.

scotchnaut

“This is outrageous teeth erasure!”

-J. Elway

Horatio Cornblower

Good news everyone: Got my physical blood test results back and if my cholesterol gets any lower Matt Gaetz is gonna try to fuck it!

SonOfSpam

Beer is good for lowering cholesterol (source: mine is barely 200 despite being a fat drunk)

scotchnaut

/waits for your metaphysical blood tests to come in

-Nietzsche

/this is the easy joke. He hated all organized religions but his sister was in charge of his legacy and she embraced the Nazis. She gave Hitler her brother’s walking stick/cane.

Doktor Zymm

The Aiyuk thing for the Niners?
comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have you see Godzilla Minus One? My friend Keisuke got to do some of the minor character voices for the English dub. It’s a good movie but all the characters he voiced were cowards.

blaxabbath

Do Japanese people like that more Godzilla movies keep coming out? Who is the audience for these remakes?

Horatio Cornblower

Bill Parcells.

Doktor Zymm

Things are going well, but verrah introvert stressful so time for whiskey, cap’n crunch, and civ 6 on deity

scotchnaut

Ruby is sleeping and wagging her tale intermittently and I don’t want to wake her up even though I need to pee.

-Current Status

WCS

I’m realizing now just how out of game-shape I am for Hippo SPEEK.

SonOfSpam

2023 PREDICTION: 9-8.

Excellent chance!

herodotus450

/taps envelope to forehead
Gerald Ford in 1976
The Edmund Fitzgerald
JJ McCarthy
/opens envelope
Michinganders who deeply regret spending time in Minnesota
/Folks!

King Hippo

REv, can you poke the #BFIB with a stick and tells ’em to DUE BETTER?

Redshirt

Stay that Stick, Rev!

King Hippo

better was indeed NAWT forthcoming

Gumbygirl

They’ve been operating under that theory in Pittsburgh since the 90’s. Hasn’t worked yet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…Couchless Greg Hardy…

[shakes his head sadly] – JD Vance

Redshirt

.

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scotchnaut

How can the Jets not fail? They’ve got a cheap, MAGA-loving owner and a nutjob QB. Karma’s sitting this one out because things are just going to take care of themselves.

King Hippo

I just watched the Netflix “Turning Point” 9/11 War On Terror docuseries, and the Jets did purty doggone good no ofence

scotchnaut

“The Twin Towers shoulda kept their heads on a swivel. They didn’t. That’s why they got sacked.”

-P. McAfee

/this is where he’s headed, don’t kid yourself

King Hippo

if ever a guy was gonna “just asking questions funny how u have a problem with that”….

King Hippo

Man, somebody really do have to win that garbage division. Could Penix Power save Sherman’s Ashes??

King Hippo

I just want to see that cardboard sign take over the sportsball world