You Lookin’ FOAR a Hero – Just Watch (JV NFL) Week Zero

I was thinking of the serendipity (word likely makes no sense in this context, but as you may know, I do a lot of drugs) of the football calendar.  Last week, we get eased back in with EPL only.  This week, we get the smattering of Week Zero games.  Next week, full on EPL and JV NFL schedule (even a match on Sunday and Monday!).  NFL opening week bukkake then comes sliding into our DMs to save us from the first international break.  Maybe God really does love us after all?  (God, please do not hit us with a HOLD MY BEER! moment.)

Unfortunately, this is the week NBC decides to put damned near everything on Peacock.  Which I have, but still.  At least I can leave my teevee box on CBSSN’s down-pyramid coverage, while the trusty tablet belches out Premier League glory.  It starts with a fairly tasty Trashbirds/Men Untied clash (7:30, Peacock), followed by snuff films and unwatchable dreck in the 10:00 window.

Even the excellent Spotlight Dance has downgraded coverage (12:30, USA) – but Arsenal away to Villa is, without question, the match of the weekend.  The Sunday slate is also fairly miserable, so feel free to sleep in.

Zero Coverage Follows!

Florida State (-10.5) v. Georgia Tech – Cunnilingus Airlines Classic, Dublin, Ireland (Noon, ESPN)

I wonder how many tens of onlookers there will be for this, without Notre Dame as a draw.  The ACC is just so very desperate for attention.  It needs to start distinguishing between GOOD attantion and BAD attention (said in Hippo’s WASPiest parenting voice).

Montana State (-13.5) at New Mexico (4:00, FS1)

Real talk – when you are a nigh-two-TD underdog, at HOME, to a 1-AA team?  Maybe you ought to just give up the ghost.  Anyway, extra freezer vodka for Ayo and his boyz today.

SMU (-25) at Nevada (8:00, CBSSN)

The games get progressively less competitive/interesting, and the network coverage gains in obscurity.  Again, balance in the universe.  Watch Death By SMU-SMU win the ACC in their very first season.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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BeefReeferLives

“Are you a fool, Mr. Harrison?” he asked, shortly before getting gang tackled & duct taped to the flagpole…

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2Pack

The Florida State Georgia Tech game has been pretty entertaining. Dublin looks to be a wonderful host city too.

Gumbygirl

We saw Pitt play Rutgers many years ago in Dublin. It was so much fun!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

These Spanish announcers care a lot less about football than fútbol. I didn’t even realize the game was inside of two minutes!

2Pack

I’m getting the US broadcast on ABC I think, Via AFN. Just ended Georgia Tech got the upset.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I had the ESPN3 broadcast on as background. Usually the Spanish announcers do a good job of alerting me to whether things are exciting by their tone alone, but not this time.

Mr. Ayo

ACC should drop the lawsuit and just kick FSU out of the conference on principle.

2Pack

They have been a bit shady since way back when.

jjfozz

I have to think that there have never been more black people in one place in the history of Ireland.

Horatio Cornblower

Wait, Thomas Partey is alive!?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ain’t no party like a Thomas Partey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhzctuOfosc

Horatio Cornblower

Well that was certainly against the run of play, but I’ll take it.

Horatio Cornblower

Raya, holy shit.

BeefReeferLives

Listening to Golden Tate as the coloUr announcer for the LioUns / Stillers tilt talk about Russ is rather surreal.

Haven’t heard any girlfriend fucking anecdotes yet, but the game is young…

Gumbygirl

I forgot about that!

Horatio Cornblower

This is so Massachusetts they need to sew it on the State flag.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2024/08/24/baby-delivery-cape-cod-dunkin/

Last edited 2 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Horatio Cornblower

I always forget that Aston Villa employs that absolute douchenozzle in goal.

Just a face made for being run over in the crosswalk.

Horatio Cornblower

The race for runner-up begins!

yeah right

I’ll have real life feedback on their “Customer Service” in three weeks when I’m in Dublin.

It’s a direct flight betwixt LAX and DUB.

A mere 10 hours.

That’s a doddle!

SonOfSpam

Regular economy? If I remember right Aer Cunni only has two classes, econ and business.

yeah right

Oh no we’re business. With the extra seating room upgrade.

scotchnaut

Man City smelling blood in the urine, trying for that 4th goal.

scotchnaut

When noted speedster The Broom sneaks behind your defense twice within 8 minutes, you may want to adjust your alignments.

Horatio Cornblower

meh, what’s the worst that could ha…

Oh, right, that.

litre_cola

Now don’t fuck this up .

/they will

scotchnaut

ACK! Haaland absolutely robbed of a third goal.

blaxabbath

I appreciate the quick, safe, comfortable, FAA- mandated takeoff you provided me.

But where’s my pineapple passion?

SonOfSpam

(giant Hawaiian guy rumbles down the aisle, plants himself in Blax’s lap)

“Someone order a Pineapple Passion?”

BugEyedBoo

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m having one of these in about five minutes.

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BugEyedBoo

I’m not tough enough to fight my wife and MIL for the other ones.

SonOfSpam

You know who’s really good at ordering donuts?

https://x.com/HowardMortman/status/1826659904641532071

Unsurprised

Same consistency as couch cushions.

Gumbygirl

I have half a dozen of Mr. Winchell’s finest!

Unsurprised

Why? Donuts are no bueno

blaxabbath

JV zero week should be only rivalry games. SPECIFICALLY unbalanced rivalries where coaches gotta decide who to sit against a team who is out to spoil your season before it begins.

Also Army-Navy. Let those kids stand outside and be tough in the August sun.

blaxabbath

The pilot said I needed to stop lollygagging and get seated over the loudspeakers.

I’m doing my thing where I just automatically start testing the established rules and priorities.

It’s not very Aloha — but I’ll work to get better.

Dunstan

You know what that makes you? A lollygagger!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How does it make him into Nancy Reagan?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Looked in on Tottenham-Everton. WE HAVEN’T SHAT THE BED YET! WOOOO COYS!

Horatio Cornblower

Just realized I’ll be on vacation in romantic (?) Montreal when the Lowratio league draft takes place.

Looks like I’ll be putting this on auto-draft, getting an A from Yahoo, then finishing 2-14 because Yahoo took 3 kickers and two defenses.

scotchnaut

The Old City is fantastic-tons of wee cafes and crap. Much friendlier than Montreal, I found.

Horatio Cornblower

We went to Quebec when I was a wee child. I recall seeing cannons over a river which was really cool.

That night everyone in the family, except my father, got incredibly sick, including vomiting and…other things, and Dad wound up driving us back to CT, straight through the night.

We never speak of that trip.

scotchnaut

As a history buff you can wander the Plains of Abraham where a battle took place between the French and English. (both generals died) I was blown away looking at the cliff face that the English had to scale in the middle of the night (in 1759!) to reach the field. No wonder the French thought their position was impregnable.

Horatio Cornblower

I intend to go up there for Winter Carnival, but after looking into doing that last year I realized that I probably need to plan that about two years in advance.

Turns out it’s quite popular.

litre_cola

La Banquise is the best place for Poutine and I will not entertain any other arguments.

Horatio Cornblower

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litre_cola

24 hours too!

blaxabbath

This is a very big plane.

I feel like Zymm but dumb.

blaxabbath

It’s a suoer-spreader site!

blaxabbath

Thought I forgot my gummies (well, I did) but found stray disposable pen in my backpack.

Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.

Mr. Ayo

Most Disappointing Everton delivers!

litre_cola

We got you covered. Good to see VAR can still fuck off

litre_cola

Get innnn Smith Rowwweee

litre_cola

Sandwich Town up 1 on Citeh? What a time to be alive.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

litre_cola

Glad I captained the big fella in my FF

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So who are the hot trends in fantasy football drafts this year? Any hope for Bryce Young?

litre_cola

I mean this in the nicest way. Suck my balls Ten Hag

litre_cola

Wee man was up from 2 til 4. Planned on a hike after the Mighty Whitey game but before the Cavalry game here where they for their 5th win in a row!
He is still asleep which is good or he would be a right whiny cunt today.

blaxabbath

I’m thinking about letting a Chinese family adopt mine.

litre_cola

Getting old. Good soldier for them. Like Ream.

Fronkenshteen

That ball in from Zirkzee should have a lot of managers on high alert. Only a moron like ten Hag wouldn’t have had this kid in the starting team today.

Fronkenshteen

That goal last week was something. I heard the announcer yell “McTOMINAAAAAY!!!’ so he completely missed it live. Then the whole crew gabbled over it for three more replays before they finally saw what a fantastic touch that was.

Fronkenshteen

Mernin’, all! A remedy for the subpar 10:00 window might be Wrexham vs Reading in a League One clash over on Paramount+. Early morning groove. If you have to go out for rolls this morning, play this one with the windows down. Not a hard edge on the thing (I’d have left the horn section off this one, though). Tony Joe White:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8thsU52dfw

BugEyedBoo

Gator got yo’ granny!

BugEyedBoo

And no, you do NOT leave that horn section off of there!

Fronkenshteen

I really think he was just getting shitfaced in D.C. He looked like Tom Hanks in “A League Of Their Own” walking out to the touchline at the games I went to, and his pressers were beyond numb. He seemed completely checked out.