I was thinking of the serendipity (word likely makes no sense in this context, but as you may know, I do a lot of drugs) of the football calendar. Last week, we get eased back in with EPL only. This week, we get the smattering of Week Zero games. Next week, full on EPL and JV NFL schedule (even a match on Sunday and Monday!). NFL opening week bukkake then comes sliding into our DMs to save us from the first international break. Maybe God really does love us after all? (God, please do not hit us with a HOLD MY BEER! moment.)
Unfortunately, this is the week NBC decides to put damned near everything on Peacock. Which I have, but still. At least I can leave my teevee box on CBSSN’s down-pyramid coverage, while the trusty tablet belches out Premier League glory. It starts with a fairly tasty Trashbirds/Men Untied clash (7:30, Peacock), followed by snuff films and unwatchable dreck in the 10:00 window.
Even the excellent Spotlight Dance has downgraded coverage (12:30, USA) – but Arsenal away to Villa is, without question, the match of the weekend. The Sunday slate is also fairly miserable, so feel free to sleep in.
Zero Coverage Follows!
Florida State (-10.5) v. Georgia Tech – Cunnilingus Airlines Classic, Dublin, Ireland (Noon, ESPN)
I wonder how many tens of onlookers there will be for this, without Notre Dame as a draw. The ACC is just so very desperate for attention. It needs to start distinguishing between GOOD attantion and BAD attention (said in Hippo’s WASPiest parenting voice).
Montana State (-13.5) at New Mexico (4:00, FS1)
Real talk – when you are a nigh-two-TD underdog, at HOME, to a 1-AA team? Maybe you ought to just give up the ghost. Anyway, extra freezer vodka for Ayo and his boyz today.
SMU (-25) at Nevada (8:00, CBSSN)
The games get progressively less competitive/interesting, and the network coverage gains in obscurity. Again, balance in the universe. Watch Death By SMU-SMU win the ACC in their very first season.
“Are you a fool, Mr. Harrison?” he asked, shortly before getting gang tackled & duct taped to the flagpole…
The Florida State Georgia Tech game has been pretty entertaining. Dublin looks to be a wonderful host city too.
We saw Pitt play Rutgers many years ago in Dublin. It was so much fun!
These Spanish announcers care a lot less about football than fútbol. I didn’t even realize the game was inside of two minutes!
I’m getting the US broadcast on ABC I think, Via AFN. Just ended Georgia Tech got the upset.
Yeah, I had the ESPN3 broadcast on as background. Usually the Spanish announcers do a good job of alerting me to whether things are exciting by their tone alone, but not this time.
ACC should drop the lawsuit and just kick FSU out of the conference on principle.
They have been a bit shady since way back when.
I have to think that there have never been more black people in one place in the history of Ireland.
Wait, Thomas Partey is alive!?
Ain’t no party like a Thomas Partey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhzctuOfosc
Well that was certainly against the run of play, but I’ll take it.
Raya, holy shit.
Listening to Golden Tate as the coloUr announcer for the LioUns / Stillers tilt talk about Russ is rather surreal.
Haven’t heard any girlfriend fucking anecdotes yet, but the game is young…
I forgot about that!
This is so Massachusetts they need to sew it on the State flag.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2024/08/24/baby-delivery-cape-cod-dunkin/
I always forget that Aston Villa employs that absolute douchenozzle in goal.
Just a face made for being run over in the crosswalk.
Welp, the JV Bees look a bit shit. Over to you, Villans and King’s Afrikan Water Pistols. Otherwise, it’s self-abuse and/or opium nap.
The race for runner-up begins!
If the Irish are really the Blacks of Europe…how come fer they’s airline is named after dining at the Y??
I’ll have real life feedback on their “Customer Service” in three weeks when I’m in Dublin.
It’s a direct flight betwixt LAX and DUB.
A mere 10 hours.
That’s a doddle!
Regular economy? If I remember right Aer Cunni only has two classes, econ and business.
Oh no we’re business. With the extra seating room upgrade.
Man City smelling blood in the urine, trying for that 4th goal.
When noted speedster The Broom sneaks behind your defense twice within 8 minutes, you may want to adjust your alignments.
meh, what’s the worst that could ha…
Oh, right, that.
Now don’t fuck this up .
/they will
ACK! Haaland absolutely robbed of a third goal.
I appreciate the quick, safe, comfortable, FAA- mandated takeoff you provided me.
But where’s my pineapple passion?
(giant Hawaiian guy rumbles down the aisle, plants himself in Blax’s lap)
“Someone order a Pineapple Passion?”
I wish to purchase and consume an entire box of donuts, and slumber in my fat shame.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m having one of these in about five minutes.
ONE??? That is indeed your beauty sercet. You dirty minx.
I’m not tough enough to fight my wife and MIL for the other ones.
You know who’s really good at ordering donuts?
https://x.com/HowardMortman/status/1826659904641532071
Same consistency as couch cushions.
I have half a dozen of Mr. Winchell’s finest!
Why? Donuts are no bueno
JV zero week should be only rivalry games. SPECIFICALLY unbalanced rivalries where coaches gotta decide who to sit against a team who is out to spoil your season before it begins.
Also Army-Navy. Let those kids stand outside and be tough in the August sun.
Go demand that the pilot THANK YOU FOAR YOUR SERVICE
The pilot said I needed to stop lollygagging and get seated over the loudspeakers.
I’m doing my thing where I just automatically start testing the established rules and priorities.
It’s not very Aloha — but I’ll work to get better.
You know what that makes you? A lollygagger!
How does it make him into Nancy Reagan?
Looked in on Tottenham-Everton. WE HAVEN’T SHAT THE BED YET! WOOOO COYS!
Just realized I’ll be on vacation in romantic (?) Montreal when the Lowratio league draft takes place.
Looks like I’ll be putting this on auto-draft, getting an A from Yahoo, then finishing 2-14 because Yahoo took 3 kickers and two defenses.
Quebec City is so, so much better. At least drive up for a day trip.
The Old City is fantastic-tons of wee cafes and crap. Much friendlier than Montreal, I found.
We went to Quebec when I was a wee child. I recall seeing cannons over a river which was really cool.
That night everyone in the family, except my father, got incredibly sick, including vomiting and…other things, and Dad wound up driving us back to CT, straight through the night.
We never speak of that trip.
As a history buff you can wander the Plains of Abraham where a battle took place between the French and English. (both generals died) I was blown away looking at the cliff face that the English had to scale in the middle of the night (in 1759!) to reach the field. No wonder the French thought their position was impregnable.
Montreal is the only unfriendly place I’ve encountered in The Canadia. Never went to Toronto, mind.
I intend to go up there for Winter Carnival, but after looking into doing that last year I realized that I probably need to plan that about two years in advance.
Turns out it’s quite popular.
La Banquise is the best place for Poutine and I will not entertain any other arguments.
24 hours too!
This is a very big plane.
I feel like Zymm but dumb.
It’s a suoer-spreader site!
Thought I forgot my gummies (well, I did) but found stray disposable pen in my backpack.
Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.
Most Disappointing Everton delivers!
Hold Our Beer, still 60 minutes of schiesse porn to go!
We got you covered. Good to see VAR can still fuck off
Get innnn Smith Rowwweee
Sandwich Town up 1 on Citeh? What a time to be alive.
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Glad I captained the big fella in my FF
So who are the hot trends in fantasy football drafts this year? Any hope for Bryce Young?
Worth a late dart toss, sure. The three late QBs I like are him, Minshew, and Touch of Downs.
I mean this in the nicest way. Suck my balls Ten Hag
He doesn’t seem like he’d be a particularly enthusiastic fellatio provider.
TRASHBIRDS AHOY!!!!!
Rooney’s men down to 9, only 3 minutes left in added time to kill, tho
Wee man was up from 2 til 4. Planned on a hike after the Mighty Whitey game but before the Cavalry game here where they for their 5th win in a row!
He is still asleep which is good or he would be a right whiny cunt today.
I’m thinking about letting a Chinese family adopt mine.
Unpopular, but correct opinion – Lewis Dunk is an absolute donkey out there.
Getting old. Good soldier for them. Like Ream.
Still mad Dunk got picked for Inglen ahead of Branthwaite. We Bitter Blues know how to hold onto a grudge.
That ball in from Zirkzee should have a lot of managers on high alert. Only a moron like ten Hag wouldn’t have had this kid in the starting team today.
yeah, Hippo be re-assessing my initial opinion that EtH knew what he’s doing.
That goal last week was something. I heard the announcer yell “McTOMINAAAAAY!!!’ so he completely missed it live. Then the whole crew gabbled over it for three more replays before they finally saw what a fantastic touch that was.
Every time I see the Men Untied kit, I chuckle as my mind imagines “Snapdragon” as…somewhat vulgar slang.
Mernin’, all! A remedy for the subpar 10:00 window might be Wrexham vs Reading in a League One clash over on Paramount+. Early morning groove. If you have to go out for rolls this morning, play this one with the windows down. Not a hard edge on the thing (I’d have left the horn section off this one, though). Tony Joe White:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8thsU52dfw
Gator got yo’ granny!
And no, you do NOT leave that horn section off of there!
Wayne Rooney is waddling the touchline on CBSSN (Plymouth away to QPR), fwiw
I really think he was just getting shitfaced in D.C. He looked like Tom Hanks in “A League Of Their Own” walking out to the touchline at the games I went to, and his pressers were beyond numb. He seemed completely checked out.
The cameras show him every 30-45 seconds here, his mouth is always closed. That surprised me, assumed he’d at least be stuffing a pie into his maw.