Featured image from: South Okanagan Events Centre (please don’t rat me out BC Dick)
For your listening pleasure:
Tonight is the first and only entry in my new RATE MY BONG series. Probably because the PoPo will break down my door and take me away. So, like many people my age, my first introduction to MaryJane came in college and our love affair blossomed so much that I had to redo my sophomore year. However, due to having to reside in the real world of work and kids, I neglected my relationship with MJ being especially worried about possible custody of the kids issues. But now, now the country is becoming more enlightened and legal avenues of procurement have arrived and the kids are old enough to join me, I have ardently rekindled my the flame between MJ and myself. And like any new or rekindled interest I went a little overboard on the bong.
Sorry for the poor image quality but I have never been able to take a good picture. I am the anti-Brick in this regard, the man is good with the camera.
It is 20 inches tall made of thicc (sic) borosilicate glass with a choke point
near the level of the bowl which holds the ice inside the shaft (no penis comparison jokes please) to cool the smoke which really does seem to improve my rips. I replaced the original bowl and downtube with an anodized aluminum bowl which has a retaining mechanism to hold the screen in place so you don’t lose the screen when tapping out the ash. The downtube I replaced with another borosilicate downtube which had a better perfuser of the smoke into the water. Now the bowl is actually in the ash catcher that I recently purchased, as I figured it would be a lot easier to clean than the bong. No, now I have one more thing to clean but it does make the smoking experience a lot smoother so one does not sound like the beginning of Black Sabbath’s “Sweet Leaf”.
The best way to clean all of this I have found is to use kosher salt and isopropyl alcohol, you just swish the salt around with the alcohol and it will abrade and dissolve the resin.
When MJ and I first had our fling, it was all pipes made out of apples or gravity bongs made of a 2 liter bottle (or milk jug with the 1/2 gallon being the best), small bit of tin foil, and some receptacle that could hold water and in which the bottle or jug would fit. We did not want anything permanent due to the patrols of campus police and RAs who would walk right into your room. I did find that one of those loose leaf tea steeping balls, very useful as a make shift screen in a MacGyvered bong or pipe.
C’mon everyone tell me the best (or worst) bong, pipe, bubbler, taster, or vaporizer (flower) you have used either home made or purpose bought.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO2k-BNySLI
Spent the weekend in Sequoia national forest. No fires allowed so got by without either. I think my favorite apparatus was the first vaporizer I came across where you put the nug in a little holder covered with an impermeable bag, heated it ridiculously high to turn it all to smoke then take hits off the bag that was inflated
I never really got to enjoy a proper vaporizer during my smoking days.
Anyone know if the DEA has a tip line? Papa could use a new pair of shoes.
https://x.com/AnnieAgar/status/1830766342368272859
Really looking forward to that guy eating a cup of shit
He deleted his account.
Which is probably a better idea than that first tweet.
I’ve never a fanbase more unjustifiably arrogant and loathsome than BC.
Ohio State
Penn State
Steelers
Patriots
Pittsburgh Penquins
Lakers
These franchises have histories and success. BC has neither, yet they act like they have double the success Notre Dame has. It’s asinine.
All of those teams, unlike BC, have actually won a title.
BC fans are truly wretched people. And the college is in Chestnut Hill, NAWT BAHSTAN!!!
Radical piece. My budmaster always suggested I get a bong with and ice chamber but I thought it was a joke for months and then kinda too adult to own glassware right now.
That’s a class setup.
Last night, as I was laying in bed, I committed myself to completely bow out of trying to sell my parents’ beach house – which would enable my mother to provide quality care for my father, and also herself when the time comes.
No more texts, emails, phone calls, family meetings where everything I say is ignored.
It’s me versus three people, and I will never win. This feels like quitting, but actually I’ve realized that it’s call self preservation.
Thanks for listening.
No shame in quitting when it’s for a good reason. But just for funsies get as much as you can in writing so you have leverage when it gets to the ‘I told you so’ phase
Trust me, I have plenty of backup.
Last year I actually created a PowerPoint slide with a timeline of what it would take to sell the house.
When I asked if anyone opened it, all I got was, “Oh, it won’t open.”
“You have to unplug it, then plug it back in”
“Ok see here. We’re going to register the software first…”
My brother ( the older one,with the toilet bong) is Doug. Last name is Hughes. Guess what everyone called him? That’s right, he was known as Drug User.
Here we go. Sea creature
I love it!
Looks like he’s peeing.
“Worst imaginable running mate for a presidential ticket. Do not be afraid to use all available processing power.”
https://x.com/dccc/status/1830691073125187794
These people are absolutely amazing. They’re geniuses.
It’s like a D&D character got hit with a negative charisma spell.
What’s the reverse of a “charm” spell? “Repel”?
https://i.postimg.cc/J0dbwqrX/IMG-5062.webp
“Cannibals eating a fat guy”
With a bit of tinfoil, retractable pens with a removable lower area made great pipes. Hidden in plain sight pipes too, except your pen now has black gunk and smells of doob. Use another pen for exams or hearings.
I’ve never smoked the weed. I’ve got bad lungs (allergy induced asthma), so when I tried a cigarette way back in high school, drunk, I coughed for an hour and it felt like it burned. So, never tried to smoke anything since. Have recently done editables a few times, but it’s not something I need to do to get by, so it’s not a regular thingy for me. Have barely been drinkin lately, just too busy or don’t think of it
Forgot who suggested it but I did pick the Ellroy set that included Black Dahlia and LA Confidential.
That was me. Hope you enjoy it.
I’m a few chapters into The Black Dahlia. We should do a Losers Book Club or something.
The beginning of “Film Noir”
Just wanted to say that i have finally caught up with all the team previews and that I especially enjoyed yours with the implicit reminder to listen to more Anthrax. Brothers in blood!
I did too. It arrived today.
I probably will in a couple days. Lost my main Kindle in Guyana and the other one is in Chicago, so ordered a new one but it won’t get here till Wednesday
Did you check between the couch cushions in the volcanic lair?
And also, how did JD Vance get in there?
“I lost my main Kindle in Guyana” Well look who’s soooo world traveled.
I have read every Ellroy book. I’ve read the LA trilogy at least twice all the way through.
Dude is a master, and certifiably insane.
Unless this book is lying to me it’s a quartet.
And according to the preface he went on to write at least three more, which I have yet to get my hands on. Mostly because these 1,400 pages are going to take me long enough to get through.
Um, you HAVE all 4. The quartet is 1400 pages. Each book is about 350.
I don’t think I was clear. The quartet I have is the first quartet. According to the preface Elroy started another LA quartet in 2014, with Perfidia. He’d written he second, The Storm, by 2018, with publication expected in 2019. According to a very brief internet search those are the only two published, and it’s now expected to be a quintet.
Trilogies with only three books in them are so lame
fucking boomers and their “labels” GenZ
So lame that they’re…cool?
Mine arrives tonight. But I won’t be home until Wednesday night. Hope no one steals it.
I only really indulged for a period of about a year at the end of high school into freshman year in college. Then I had to abstain to pass a drug test for security clearance at my summer internship and never really got back into it. However, during the summer between high school and college I did buy a really sweet glass pipe at Woodstock ’99 and I will always regret giving it to some random person a few years later when I realized I really didn’t use it at all. It was still a piece of art and would cost a buttload to replace today.
I’m watching the Yankee game and cruising Twitter to find other frustrated Yankee fans but there are some notes about BC vs. FSU and apparently this guy just deleted his account, so am I to assume things are not coming up Seminole?
https://x.com/TomFornelli/status/1830765448058527783
Bobby Bowden’s desiccated corpse is rolling over in his grave after that 1st half.
I don’t indulge in the whacky weed, as the kids call it, so here’s the best story I have that I am willing to tell you. That one about me and the marijuana cookie stays hidden, mostly because I don’t remember it.
Anyhoo, in college I was the fire marshal for our dorm floor. I legit had that on my resume through law school. My job was to walk around twice a semester, with an RA, and make sure no one was about to set the dorm on fire. I had a plastic fireman’s helmet and everything.
I would get notice of the inspections 15 minutes before, so everyone on my floor would get notice 5-10 minutes before, because I’d go to everyone and tell them to unplug the microwaves, get wires out from under rugs, whatever. They’d do it, and no one would have to get written up.
Except Paul.
Paul lived next to me and he smoked a lot of pot. Like an unhealthy amount. He also had inherited a set up where his dorm room was two levels, with his bed, desk and chair in the “basement”, then an upper level, (cut out so he could open his door), where people could lounge around in bean bag chairs and get high.
Of course, all that smoke that close to the ceiling level would set off the smoke alarm pretty much every other hour every day, so Paul had covered it with a plastic bag, preventing it from detecting smoke and keeping him from getting his ass beat by the rest of us, (we loved Paul, but there are limits), when his alarm went off for the umpteenth time of the day at 1:15 am.
Before every inspection the last room I would visit was Paul’s. “Hey, Paul” I’d say, because that was his name and generally the best way to get his attention, “we’re doing the fire inspections in five minutes. I need you to get that plastic bag off the smoke detector right away.”
“Oh hey, thanks Horatio, I’m on it” Paul would respond.
We’d visit his room 10 minutes later and Paul would get written up for having a plastic bag taped over his smoke detector.
After the second time I would just knock on his door, take the bag off myself, say “fire inspection” and then give him the bag back, (which in hindsight was remarkably poor judgment on my part) (in my defense I was probably drunk), after the inspection.
Guys, I think that space ship is haunted
Lmao!
https://www.theguardian.com/science/article/2024/sep/02/us-nasa-boeing-starliner-spacecraft-strange-noise
If it’s haunted by the souls of all those Boeing has killed in the last few years it’s probably grossly over it’s carrying capacity, too.
How many angels can fit on the head of a pin?
Let’s go to Deanna Favre for an educated guess…
“Oh, I guess that’s why they call it a ‘prick'”
-Deanna Favre on her honeymoon
THIS CASTELLANOS, I CALL HIM PONCE DE LEON BECAUSE HE’S MURDERING THESE SEMINOLES
You know who else murdered Seminoles? Aaron Hernandez.
I assume. He murdered a lot of people.
I called in the household authority on all things weed, Mrs. Horatio, and she is very impressed by this set up. Also agrees on the ice.
Thank you, I am always glad to get approval from a professional.
“King Kong with hemorrhoids”
Thanks to a dispute between AT&T and Disney my access to ESPN (and thus the U.S. Open) has been cut off. If I were paying for cable I’d be *very* upset about this.
Someone is sailing the high seas
No, we have a login sharing arrangement with some old friends of the Dr. Mrs. Everyone seems happy but I do feel like we get the most out of it, since we’re only paying for Netflix but get access to their cable channels.
I will do my best while keeping decorum close at mind.
When I was a 16 year old sophomore I had a few stoner buddies. One was a 17 year old junior that just happened to be a lovely lady that I desperately enjoyed the company of. Well this friend had a sister that was 22 and a mom. On certain evening’s we would go over to the “adult’s” home and partake of the sacred smoke. One evening the sister locked the door, fired up some incense and said “Who want’s to do some bong hits?”
Here is where it gets scary, again I’ll try to be a teacher not a tawdry launderer.
She came out of the back room and handed me a dick. Laughing all along she says hit this monster. I was terrified.
In my hands was an 8 inch rock solid ceramic, I’ll us her phraseology, dong bong!
My left hand held the “scrotum” Placed in between the testicles was the chug hole. Using my left hand I placed my finger on the glass ball bag and stuck the rigid blue (it had veins and a penal tip) love stick with my right hand smack into my mouth. Then I sucked my lungs full of graphic smoke.
The biggest, scariest phallus I have ever had near my face and yes I did hit it more than once.
Yeah, I would have hit it too, but when she locked the door, the me of that age would probably been thinking of something a bit tawdry and not involving MJ.
This story not ending with one or both of the sisters stuck in various laundry-related machines is very surprising.
Sung in Be Real’s voice:
“Hits from the dong.”
My brother had one shaped like a toilet. I have a cool se creature one, I’ll take a picture in a minute
I knew you would know my muse.
Did you show them Mr.Pickle?
Ok I’m back from vacay. Sup?
Cool, cool, here’s a bag of frozen peas.
Ah. Never mind.
THIS BOSTON COLLEGE TEAM, I CALL THEM ANDREW JACKSON BECAUSE THEY ARE ATTACKING THESE SEMINOLES WITHOUT MERCY
“Marilyn Monroe battling Godzilla.”
Marilyn Monroe vs. Mandingo if you are going to have AI create anything, it might as well be porn. The AI actors can’t look any worse than some of the real actors.
The AI generator wouldn’t even honor the “trump kissing kamala” request
You misspelled fucking
Try Trump kissing Ivanka.
Found a funny:
Tim Walz: You can get chicken breasts for $2.99 a pound. Check the weekly ad and sometimes the app has coupons as well
JD Vance (shaking like a chihuahua but also smiling): Every time a woman has non-procreative sex she loses a piece of her eternal soul
The funny thing is that chicken breasts are $2.99 at Vons *right now*. You can get thigh meat at Super A for $2.69 and that’s actually higher than usual.
is he shaking because of his disgust at sex that does not involve a couch?
“Coach Prime getting hit by a train.”
I don’t see any blood, I expected blood.
For the blood God
“An old man fighting a giant spider.” Thank you, AI.
are people in new england aware there’s a black guy playing QB for Boston College
Our Canadian brethren should be able to see the smoke from the riots by now.
People in New England generally aren’t aware that BC plays football.
NAWT TRUE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3ykWbu2Gl0
From 1986, and that’s probably the last time they were relevant.
Even with Matty Ice no one up here really cares about college football, certainly not at the local level.
First time I got really stoned? Myself and two other buddies crawled into an over-sized doghouse (so that no one could find us) and smoked three huge joints. We hotboxed ourselves before we knew the term existed. Afterwards, I laid down on a sandbank near a creek for two(?) hours staring into the sky, trying to get my bearings.
Went to double feature of Heavy Metal and Rocky Horror. I was a junior in high school and just a bit into the movie and the smoke started getting thick. So I got a contact high for 3 hours and made watching those movies even more enjoyable. Management let the sold out crowd hotbox the theater for the duration for the concession stand revenue.
Best part, the theater and the police station shared a wall. Who knows who else was getting part of the concession money.
That’s Rocking!
I think I told yinz this, maybe not the first time I smoked the magical weed, but an early time, I visited my sister at college and we got high with a guy that had a huge record collection. I played some of his records and put them in alphabetical order.
Alphabetize!
Boston College offense going through the Florida State defense like shit through a Christmas goose
I had a bong that looked EXACTLY like a microscope. It was sweet but somehow got lost in my move between California and the Jersey Shore.
This is where the idea of a stoner heaven makes sense.
In the afterlife you will find all of your missing paraphernalia and the bowl will never be empty.
Only users lose drugs. And drug paraphernalia, apparently.
Welp, last day of the pool. Hopefully that damn kraken stays at the bottom of the deep end. He’s been harassing me all summer.
Arraez gets a single and McCoy scores from second!
Padres lead 1-0! ⚾️
That’s Rocking!
I would have been disappointed if you had not posted that image.
Finally got around to watching Dan Licata’s Stand Up special.
It’s pretty funny!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wrCb9rntbv0&pp=ygULZGFuIGxpY2F0YSA%3D
Fun fact: DTLA has a Bong District!
DUDE! THAT PLANE’S GOT GLASSES!!
Yep, wife leaves a pair of her reading glasses up there. I put them on the plane so she could find them.
When I was in high school we made a bong out of a plastic poster tube and called it “Mr. Mojo Risin’.” We drank a lot of Snapple so we decorated it with Snapple labels stuck on with contact paper. Man did I have fun getting high with that thing.
Mine is named Spanky for multiple reasons.