TGIF! Just got back from Canada this week. Visited lovely Oliver, BC to spend a few days racing around the Area 27 race track. Lovely track to drive if you get the chance. Anyway, the most baffling part was getting gas. Get this, when prepaying the pumps ask for the amount to pre-auth. Now, being a dumb American I was in a pickle. The amount was CAD, and the gas was priced per litre. (1.90 for 94 octane) So to figure this all out I would have to do two (2) conversions. Instead I just picked 100 loonies which would give me almost 50 litres. And great fortune! Turns out that’s just over 13 gallons which is almost exactly what I needed to fill up. The total came to 96 loonies and change.
Survival – Brazil Edition
I would be derelict in my conscripted duties if I didn’t give a quick preview of the actual football taking place right now in Brazil! You will need Peacock (Bonus: EPL coverage) to watch this one. Don’t forget you’ll also need Netflix for the Xmas games (Bonus: Sandler’s new stand up special is great) and Amazon Prime (Bonus: Free same day, 1 day, or 2 day shipping, sometimes) for the Thursday games to get the full NFL experience.
Tonight is GB (Go Cheese) vs PHI (Go Birds). Both teams are meh and will disappoint tonight and through the season. At least one will miss the playoffs. Let’s see what gang fights break out over the coloUr green and determine which team is a bigger disappointment.
Survival – Personal Edition
You’re on your own this weekend. Just sit on your couch and watch footy, JV football, then actual football, before returning to work Monday, then more football when you get home that night.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
“Thank god no one has been gun-raped at the 50 yard line!. So far…”
-Darius Slay
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ime0n-qJi4
So glad they coated the field in butter
That’s tanning lotion
There’s true Brazilian entertainment!
BBL reboot of Xuxa
am not seeing any bags of piss being thrown at Barkley for that TD. so disappointed…
You have to pay extra to see that
They use bags of piss as batteries in Brazil? Innovative!
El Salvador and Honduras.
Patience.
Damn nice throw.
Finally
I’m missing the point here, I know, but goddamn does she have some ripped upper arms.
Probably from repeatedly pouring huge pails of scalding milk.
Called to get my credit card balances after vacation and now I’m stuck somewhere in India getting offers I do not want.
JUST TELL ME WHAT TO WRITE ON THE CHECK!!
Isn’t there an app for that?
You know those companies have web sites, right?
Yeah, this was a new one. Usually it’s a quick phone call, beep in the last four numbers of the account and I get the balance right away.
This time they wanted to sell me some sort of reward points upgrade so I got redirected.
On the memo section?
1) Best Anal Sex Ever!
2) Lowratio Lubricant Refill
3) Sex Dungeon Cleaning Fee
Cleaning?
I thought Lowratio’s union wouldn’t let him do custodial work…
That’s true, but I thought you were implying we’d ever clean the dungeon, which sort of defeats the propose of it being a dungeon.
Not his job.
Phone?
Check?
What year is it in Connecticut?
I am a confirmed Luddite.
Butter churn broke today too.
(they call it the dwarflube churn)
Even worse
Like….on a phone?? YOU’RE THE REASON THEY HAVE THOSE STUPID MENUS FOR STUFF THAT’S EASY TO CHECK ONLINE BEFORE THEY LET ME TALK TO A REAL PERSON TO RESOLVE ACTUAL PROBLEMS!! YOU BASTARD!
Just repeatedly hit -0- as soon as you call. Gets you right through the menu.
And then you can talk to some guy in a New Delhi call center who would absolutely kill to live in a balmy 109 degree climate.
Oh I know all the tricks, they’ve gotten rid of that on most modern systems, and even when you do get through they inevitably talk about checking your balance while you’re on hold. I’m honestly amazed that there is anyone who actually calls to do that!
I only do it when we’ve done a lot of damage on vacation, (still love you, Montreal), and I’m looking to get all the bad news up front. It’s not a fun task.
You should do a documentary where you explain to young people how finances worked in the 1980s!
I have two kids, so that documentary is on repeat.
The Brazilians are probably enjoying this “foot ball”.
2-0!
Easing the Brazilians into American foobawl by emphasizing kicks first.
and in an act of goodwill all the American players got a Brazilian wax.
And Brazilians love ass, so both teams are playing like it.
Anyone else get Fogo de Chao for this game?
Damn good idea!
Best I can do is get Pao de queijo from Trader Joe’s.
Good stuff!
Trader Joao!
I told my wife to bring me different cuts of meat until I put the red coaster on the coffee table.
She is not doing that.
might be coming from your own body
I got $75 worth of Arab food to eat the whole day. There’s about $42 worth left.
MINUS ONE FUCKING YARDS
AND THEN THERE WERE NONE
Such a stupid run call!
You start 7 yards behind the line of scrimmage with no other back. It’s obvious where you’re going.
At least move up a couple of yards!
the people in the stands (and Bronco fans) wouldn’t understand what a forward pass is
THIS EAGLES TEAM I CALL THEM JEFFREY DAHMER AFTER A BANQUET BECAUSE THEY’RE COUGHING UP ALL THE BALLS
Live from Philly
Hurts has -2.96 points and I’m beating Litre 0 to -2.96
I just got half a point from Goedert. You’re going down, Horatio!
Only league I took him because as you recall, I do not trust him.
HAHAHA. the Eagles 2023 season continues. you suck Hurts!
my bad coach
THESE NFL INTERNATIONAL GAMES I CALL THEM KING LEOPOLD’S CONGO FREE STATE BECAUSE THEY CLAIM THEY’RE TRYING TO SPREAD GOODWILL BUT REALLY THEY’RE JUST COMMITTING ATROCITIES FOR FINANCIAL GAIN
Jesus fuck, again.
“Fine, but the caveman voice is not doing anything for me”
-M. Magdalene
Something… kind of happened on the kickoff!
Collinsworth in commercials there is no escape, new low even for Walmart
I was just telling Gumby how glad I was he isn’t there. Ugh.
That woman in the red bikini has a look of confused disappointment on her face that I am all to familiar with.
…and then she sees Lowratio…
That’s Lady #10
That’s when things pick up!
I call that look “The Deanna”
Throwing late over the middle? That’s a paddlin.
And Hurts picks up right where he left off last season. JOY.
For anyone just showing up, it’s been Flag, Flag, Flag, Punt, Flag, Flag, Slip and Fall, Interception
Anything to delay Barkley 1st injury
Lowratio will be experiencing that exact sequence later.
Dear Jesus that was awful
Fatman stopped a pick-six.
most surprising thing about they first Barkley play is he didnt injure himself
Conditions of the field? What, grass that’s actually well maintained? I can see how NFL players wouldn’t be used to that
This is one of few times the people in the stands are better armed than the Americans.
Is this a contract year for the Zebras?
sponsored by DraftKings
.
All these crazy rules for teams playing football games in Brazil. No green, no leaving rooms… next thing I hear they’ll ban the shotgun snap as well.
Good know that we’ll know what “BLEERGH” is in Portuguese before yeah right goes there.
Hey, an honorary 12 on 12 CFL play!
Sexy Friday Adjacent?
do these people understand what the ref just said? Maybe he should hold up a yellow card when he calls the foul.
What’s the O/U on illegal formation penalties? 8?
They made this poor lady wear a saddle
Gal in the tennis dress is fucking stunning. WELL DONE!
Are they going to play the Brazilian national anthem too? This giant flag is super bizarre when they aren’t in the US
Zeerba?
Isn’t that the Old guy in Ocean’s 11?
Game Delay due to the players watching the toilets flush counterclockwise
Headline from NBC Chicago earlier today: “Why aren’t the Packers allowed to wear green tonight?”
I pointed out that they WERE wearing green, no response or correction. Quality journalism!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTX7nQtk8Lo
Mentioned this to Gumbygirl over in Sharky’s Cocktail thread, but you can get all the prime time games including the streaming exclusive ones, plus Red Zone for $99.95/year on NFL+. The catch is that it’s in-app only, but an emulator is an easy workaround
Oh, and local games, which translates to all games since you can set your location in an emulator
Aren’t we all living in an emulator
Someday I hope to know what an emulator is! I paid 8 bucks for Peacock, and Gumby likes to watch tv, so I guess it’s worth it. Still cheaper than cable.
Definitely worth it if you use it for other stuff!
An emulator is just a software version of another system that runs on your computer. I’m using an Android emulator, so it’s the same as an Android phone that runs on my computer. They’re used a lot by developers so they can see how their apps run on a lot of different devices without having to actually install it on a lot of different phones
But then I’d feel obligated to watch some of these crap games.
its so dark in the stands
Racist!
It’s 111 in Pasadena. It was as high as 113.
Toasty
That seems unnecessary
that’s hotter than Vegas today
Jesus, that is 45 degrees C. That is too damn spicy.
Hard pass
What in the FUCK
No it wasn’t.
Global warming is a myth, so that couldn’t have happened.
I can’t hear you!!!
/sticks fingers in ears
LAHLAHLAHLAHLAHL…
/dies of heat stroke
Go Birds.
Getting almost no love from the professional idiots picking the game, so that’s a good sign