Welcome back, dearest Premiership. Wake and bake, if you so choose, with Men Untied away to Sham Town (7:30, USA). Probably not much in this one. Mighty Whitey take on Fronk’s Hammers next in the 10:00 window, sadly it is Peacocked. TV option is Leicester/Palace, which makes no sense and holds no interest.
Sigh. Toffees in the Spotlight, away to Villa (12:30, NBC). Should be an easy win for the home side, but I guess one never knows. There’s also a bonus 3p Peacock match, Chelsea away to yeah right’s Cherries.
North London Derby alert! The King’s Afrikan Water Pistols steady their aim at the hated Hot Spurs on Sunday (9:00, USA). It’s on Tottenham’s patch, so should be competitive. You’ll want to flip over to Heroic RedZone Muzak after that, though.
Saturday’s JV slate is kind of “room temperature oatmeal” this week, but we’ll soldier on.
Alabama (-16) at Wisconsin (Noon, Fox)
Nothing we’ve seen so far backs up this insanely high road line. But maybe South Florida is just uniquely kryptonite to Roll Damn Tide.
LSU (-7) at South Cakalaky (Noon, ABC)
Perhaps we will get a classic defensive battle here, or Brian Kelly’s crew fixes their shit and rolls. Gamecock quartered back plays in googles, that’s pretty interesting.
Memphis (+6.5) at Florida State (Noon, ESPN)
Who ever thought this would be less than a full TD spread? Somewhere the Land of Eire, an increasingly agitated DJ Taj is demanding that his barkeep find this broadcast.
Oregon (-16.5) at Oregon State (3:30, Fox)
One suspects this edition of The Civil War might be a bit testier than average. Though it seems the rump Pac-2 is back up to 6. Anyway, I will watch just for the Niiiiiice Beaver! jokes.
Washington State (+4.5) at Washington (3:30, Peacock)
Technically, this might be neutral – but it’s in U-Dub’s city, which takes some of the shine off happenings. Wazzu has looked the friskier of the two jilted squadrons so far, and the Huskies might not be good at all.
Texas A&M (-3.5) at Florida (3:30, ABC)
The natives…will be restless. And not just because they’re Florida Men left out in the heat. Bonfire Cult has MOAR talent, but less desperation. Sneaky good fixtures are often made from these ingredients.
West By God Virginia (-1.5) at Pitt (3:30, ESPN2)
We couldn’t bear to leave Yinz out this week, a game of fine, unadulterated hatred. These teams both kind of suck, though. The unaligned will only watch in case of riot.
As if LSU grad assistants didn’t have enough wind concerns with peak hurricanes season, Brian Kelly’s gonna be extra-pissed off this week because his coaching has produced yet another ass team.
Ooof. I thought that my morning sucked.
Well Hippo, it looks like Bama will cover those 16…
BLEERGH must have money on the RedHawks
WCS! Come out abd plaaaaaaaaay!
Lolololol, ABD!
Bastard man!
When I was stationed in Dahlonega Georgia, half of the phone book was about four last names, I kid you not.
We used to vacation on a small island off the Maine coast. The stones in the town cemetery were split between four names.
Whoever started the “Go for 2 if down by 8” needs to shut up
Stupid Cocks are going to lose here.
To be fair, most cocks are stupid.
The Cocks have life!
aaaaannnnnnddddd goal of the decade, Everton have finished the choke repeat
Oh my. That was amazing. Here’s a vid:
https://x.com/worldsoccertalk/status/1835019059278016529
Twas a right cracka
Villa really could have 5 or 6. Picks has been immense, and sometimes (like now) they just miss.
At least they disappointed early this week?
Most disappointing DOINK!
at least not losing to Louisiana Tech no MOAR. Set your expectations low and you’ll rarely be disappointed.
First nap for the day is done. Time to toke it up and do some reading.
OUR WOLVEN SORT NEED YOU
Reading puts me to sleep
Drunsticks and Ribs are in the smoker. Nice fall day here. Except for my rage at the Mighty Whitey result.
Today the smoker is being heated by litre’s rage. Hopefully the meat doesn’t burn under that extreme heat
“Smoke brisket for 4 hours”
/Fulham does a Fulham thing
“Eh, 15 minutes under this heat oughta do it.”
13-3 in favoUr of Mister Pickle’s boiz
Ha! Nice job, ‘Bama!
Hippo, yous had 22% possession and are winning away. Huzzah!
aaaannnnnddddd losing at home to LT, 17-6
/bite your hand off for 2-2 in the Midlands
as I said….
DCL should have at least 1 more
backup quartered back time in West Raleigh.
Brian Kelly might not be in Looosiana long enough to kill any student managers.
Special Derp in the US 27 Bowl
Me: (swipes grocery money for poker last night so doesn’t have to stop at the bank. does not win)
(Goes to bank this morning, replaces the money)
Mrs. Horatio: I’m going to a tag sale, I’m just going to use some of the grocery money and replace it later.
Me: I can’t believe you’re so inconsiderate of our family needs. You have a problem.
Mrs. Horatio: Shut the fuck up.
/just yesterday
Me: [bringing groceries in, a few trips]
Wifey: “Don’t leave the door open, there are flies everywhere that are going to get in!”
/a friend of hers shows up, they’re on the deck, deciding whether or not to sit inside or outside, leaving the sliding door open for at least a minute
Me: [bursting at the seams, waiting to call her out for leaving the door open]
/I ended up keeping my mouth shut because I’d seem like a loon to her friend for calling wifey out, apropos of nothing
The most dangerous lead in Touffees footy
Van Dyke goes down, but it does not result in a good time for Wisconsin.
ROLL DAMN TIDE
Kamala is trying to coconut pill the NC State vote! And we really are NC’s “swing” cohort.
A sure sign of the season, first peperonata.
I just found this vid and it’s friggin’ hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc_4Q4SJ72c&ab_channel=RyanGeorge
The less-than-subtle shot at the Smith kids was very well done.
#DoucheStrong
I would recommend a good bidet.
DR. MRS. DEADLY: Our kitchen shears have rust on them. I’m going to order some new ones.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Sounds good, I’ll throw out the old ones.
RTD approaches his wife, who hesitates to hand them over.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: What?
DR. MRS. DEADLY: No…it’s fine. You can throw them out.
— [later that afternoon] —
DR. MRS. DEADLY: [orders three sets of kitchen shears]
Ya know, iron deficiency is a very common ailment even in western countries.
You could have scotchy “recycle” the old shears
One for the paper, one for the food, one for the smartass husband. Three!
That’s my weekend ruined.
Well, at least it’s put of the way early.
Just better prepares me for Cavalry vs Athleti Ottawa tomoro.
oh noes, that weren’t very White of y’all
Lost the Georgia and Arizona electoral votes, did they?
Time to go lift and crank up some tunes.
.
In honor of UConn playing Duke in a lesser sport tonight, (I’ll be at a pig roast; the pig will likely be in better shape than the Fightin’ Horatios, Gridiron Division), may I present this little bit of joy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edylGVZXIQc
I know you’s a DADGUM YANKEE because you didn’t say pig PICKIN’ – but fuck me, I a,m jealous. That’s good eatin’.
This is my go-to video when I need cheering up. I’ve watched it maybe a dozen times.
So, I tried to go back to sleep after my 4 AM poopy, but I realized GWS was playing Brisbane in the AFL Semi Final. I tuned in around halfway through the third quarter.
I didn’t get back to sleep until it was over.
That was a heckuva game!
Ugh, the neuropathy in my left hand is getting worse and making it harder to type, it takes forever for me to type out comments. So if you see a comment that looks like a stroking out Trent Green made it, I am fine, I just wanted to get the comment out quickly. And is also one of the reasons I am glad MNF is back. I had to focus more on my typing than my writing.
You don’t use your phone and the swipe function?
I hardly ever type anymore to comment here.
Laptop and computer for typing, sometimes use voice, swiping doesn’t work for me as my hands have a slight shake to them sometimes.
I hate typing on my phone, dislike it even on tablet. I prefer laptop when possible.
It does not help that my finger tips cover two of the key board buttons at a time, got to touch the correct one just before the wrong one.
I’m still team physical keyboard phone for this very reason
Mighty Whitey #5 is a ded ringer for that Harry Hamlin character on LA Law
#WhiteDelight
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs you Mexi beauty!!!!!
Careful. They look good at first, but next thing you know you’ve got a bunch of vampires crawling all over you.
WORTH IT en espanol
Yeah, but the wine off the toes thing is worth it.
You know he blew a load doing this, and probably demanded multiple takes.
[jots down idea for a sketch that features QT and Rex Ryan traveling to Milan for a shoe expo]
I love the little Aztec skulls on the metal ornamentation of the bikini.
those little details, so lovely
“Haaland with the clinical strike!”*
*it was a deflection, putz
But it was a clinical deflection!
WHY THE FUCK DO WE EVEN HAVE VAR?!?!?!? That was a clear fucking penno.
VAR confirmed no penno, per my feed
Fuck that. He chopped him down!!!!
RAGE level rising.
Morning Hippo! Other Hippo! And tp the rest of you fine upstanding representatives of – well something.
My morning shits have been especially painful. Hippo needs to stop EVAR buying potato chips, “air fried” or no.
Anyone else ready to overshare??
I stole the grocery money to go play poker last night, and lost every bit of it.
(it was the $120 monthly tournament fee and I just didn’t feel like going to the bank because I was running late, but it sounded good, didn’t it?)
So you and Lowratio will be trading beds tonight?
the Mrs. will surely swat his nose with the paper this morning
I’ll probably just go to the bank instead.
You are welcome to raid my garden. Veggies will be covered.
[files criminal charges] – Coach Reid
Just take a Ducolax before you go to bed and drink an extra glass of water, do that every night and it will help. I call those shits, passing the colon stones as they seem hard as stone and just as difficult to pass.
knowing me, I will wake up to a shit-filled bed. And I paid too much for that Purple mattress.
Yeah, but will it have hurt. No joking, but when we I hit 55 we included a water proof mattress pad, mainly after to landfill her fathers mattress. Don’t need it now, but would rather find out way down the line that it saved me from buying a new mattress.
How is the Purple mattress? The one I’m using now is 20 years old, give or take, and even though I flip it every time I change the sheets, (which I’ve done at least twice during those 20 years), I think it’s about at the end of it’s functional life.
Gonna need a new one soon that offers support to the aged, like myself.
Yeah 20 years is about useful life. Since you are past 50 like Hippo, get a good one. Probably last until death, ya know?
I was waking up really neck/back sore until the Purple. Now at least I don’t need #1stPill upon waking anymore.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE buy a Purple mattress!
/owns the stock, and man is it not doing well
Seems tough to compete in a business where the premium product is NFL-advertised Sleep Number and the commodity competition is dudes with pick up trucks and craigslist posts.
I got an all latex mattress. They’re hypoallergenic and have a longer lifespan than other mattresses. They’re also bendy so they work with those motorized beds where you can elevate your head and/or feet
I’m going offa McDonald’s burgers. Last couple times I had them they gave some moderate cramping and discomfort to my normally very efficient download system. Gonna go back to the McChicken line when I indulge.
yeah, red meat is like a once a year thing for me. Always a burger or a steak, love a good medium well ribeye.
I’m fine with 5 Guys, or any Italian restaurant red meat. But Micky D’s has been disruptive the last couple times.
They have changed up the ground beef recipe, they are much worse tasting now, I have actually started preferring Burger King – the burgers are tasty, the french fries still suck, but the spicy chicken fries are really good.
My favourite thing from Mickey D’s is breakfast. I never do their burgers.
For fast food burgers, I’ll do Jack in the Box. They’re good and they have good variety.
That splains it
I’ll throw in that good Carls Jr Famous Star is maybe the best fast food burger* — when prepared good.
But when it ever good and not just a mayo blob? Go Wendy’s.
I can only do the quarter pounders- the meat is different on those, compared to the regular burgers, Big Macs, etc.
Brentford being a wee bit uppity at the moment. What the hell are they thinking?
to be FARE, Litre did try telling us they was cunts of the highest order
Lego stadium mother fuckers.
Just Stop Oil demanded climate action. Their protests have landed them in prison | CNN
That seems fair. They stopped traffic and got four years. Trump stopped Democracy and he’s also looking at four years.
I don’t feel sorry for these cunts (it’s OK, since they’re British), at all. Global warming is obviously very real and a very serious problem, but blocking highway traffic is just about the worst way to go about advancing an environmental agenda and really just allows people like this to nail themselves to a metaphorical cross and yell “look at me, look at me” at the top of their lungs while pissing off everyone else and ensuring that everyone hates you, and by extension your cause.
Fuck ’em.
Now, if they want to do something useful, like blow up a Humvee dealership, I’ll donate to their defense.
it also causes engines to idle and MAKE MORE exhaust for the atmosphere
(and yeah, it’s mostly “look at ME” performative bullshit, I hate that on the left or the right)
At the Jameson distillery tour now. Day is going to get interesting.
Volunteer for the tasting game!!!! Trust me.
Perry Como against M-m-m-m-myyyy Bologna! on CBSSN
And Como is killing it
it’s a good day to be a crooner, it’d seem. Fucking beautiful views from that stadium.
Your Baloney has its first goal…
In minute seven six…
Your Baloney has its second goal…
They’re looking pretty slick…
My artist did a killer job but SWEET Jaysus she had a heavy fucking hand. That shit is singing!
She made it the normal Irish recipe, what you need the watered down American version?
Wow, if only you were in an area that was known for its alcohol, that you might numb the pain. Say, a place with a famous distillery. Perhaps one that offered tours.
Oh, never mind, I see you’re on that. Carry on.
The Snark is strong in this one.
Really just jealous that I’m not currently touring the Jameson distillery.
[thought you were talking about Snorks, is disappointed] – Eli Manning
Garnacho sounds like a limited edition Mexican-ish chip flavor from Lays.
Or a weird mix of ganache and nachos.
Or a painting of a Luftwaffe Stuka dive bombing some nachos.
And no, I am not stoned – yet. Gotta go to the store and stock up first. Out of bananas – and pissed off rabbits who demand their bananas are a scary sight.
This waking up without a hangover is something a guy could get used to.
Happy derby day to Litre and his Mighty Whites. Have at you!
Anyway, I have some youth soccer bidness to attend, but will be back for the big-time EPL windows and the JV footy. Have a morning, ya palookas!
tell your charges to win, or you’ll let the weirdo in the panel van run practice next week
Oh, these are the U-6 kids. These games are the BEST! 5v5 on the little field with the tiny goals. Some kids know which direction to go. Some, not so much. Some run around and pretend they’re horses. Some come try to visit their families during game action. Its FANTASTIC. You just cheer every single thing every kid on both teams does, because who cares who wins? All the kids care about is the snack they’re getting after the game.
you just keep that “panel van” speech for when you get to U-10s then, ain’t no need to be creepy eh?
I will be watching the 2nd half poolside. In the community sweat lodge also known for where kids take lessons.
Hey! JV Cincy is also having the Battle of the Victory Bell at Miami the Lesser.
Pictured: JV Cincy…or Varsity Cincy. The source is uncertain.
Sideshow bob stepping on rakes – YouTube
Am I the only one who thinks Snapdragon sounds like blue slang for a particularly impressive vajayjay?
Yellow fever
Taking a 4 AM poopy and I see that Yeah Right is being productive with his time.
Back to sleep…
Oh come on! The guy’s whole identity is walking!
Taj is sitting in a chair in a tattoo parlor on the River Liffey in downtown Dublin getting fresh ink. Eldest daughter is next then my turn.
$1 to get a Qaron trampstamp.
Getting my 2nd Irish flag but this one will be done in Dublin, see?
Y’all all should get Mister Pickle!
That’s a great idea.
Voice of the Steel Curtain Steelers and West Virginia Mountaineers, Jack Fleming.