Bub Means Represent! Your Broncos/Saints Thursday Night Football Open Thread

It’s week 7 already and no, I won’t be talking about Payton going back to Who Dat? Land or whatever they call it-you’ll hear far too much of that.

Why yes, I did pick up Bub Means in Math Hard! because I love playing three-dimensional chess (snorts) and I don’t want anyone else to have this potential league winner. WCS is going to have to tell us about him because I believe he has a passing knowledge about the Pitt football program.

Minutiae:

-Harrison Butker has a PAC-with the Devil. Funny how all these dumb Christians/Repuplicans all glom onto each other for the grifting opportunities. Word has it they they’ll be raising money to spread ‘traditional values’ and to purchase firewood for the witches they find. They’ll also be building speculum-busting mechas and funding Stepford Wives sewing circle conventions. Don’t forget to wear your 50’s-style honeybee print housedress! Fuckheads.

-Of course the latest KHunt that heads the Chiefs is good with this. After all, his family threw 300k against a ballot measure that would overturn a near total ban on abortion in Missouri.

-After years of doing so, the Browns have decided against putting lipstick on a pig-brass turned down a plan to renovate their existing stadium and want to push forward with a new domed stadium.

To The Game!

-There’s a reason why Bub Means is a thing. First off, he was a second teamer like his guy Rattler and they may have a modicum of chemistry. Also, Olave is out tonight and Shaheed is done for the year after surgery so the pickings are mighty slim at wr right now.

-You Look Familiar-not one to go into battle without some buddies, it should be noted that Payton has (including the practice squad) nine ex-Saints on his roster.

-Another ex of his will have the light shining on him this evening as Drew Brees will be inducted into the Saints Hall of Fame.

-Bo Nix is sorta getting there?: He’s got the arm talent but is only averaging 5.5 yards per throw and his legs have gotten him into the endzone three times so far. Sutton is his favorite receiver but lordy, he has a dreadful 44.7% catch rate, the very lowest among dudes with 15+ grabs.

Go get ’em!

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Gumbygirl

Somewhere in the Kingdom of Cakalacky…

pngimg.com - hippo_PNG14.png
TheRevanchist

Haener better than Rattler? Yes. The answer is yes.

Gatoraids

Havent seen a group so embarrassed without a working Carr since the last Tesla demo

Brocky

BANNER!

Unsurprised

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Gumbygirl

I’m playing BC Dick. He’s got 23 points from Denver’s defense. Ugh.

TheRevanchist

A lot of people have played with BCs dick.

Gumbygirl

It’s my first time. He is NOT being gentle!

TheRevanchist

I haven’t walked the same since.

Unsurprised

I’ve been having that dream where you have a final and you didn’t study and didn’t even know what the text book looks like, etc. etc. with increasing frequency the last few months. I feel more self-conscious now about missing out or just refusing to try on so many things in my life and now it’s like “You still have to live your life and not just hide from everything and everyone” but IDK. I will still take the test. That’s the punchline. I still go through the motions but I have no idea what is going on. At least that’s consistent because I can’t read anything in dreams (I’ve had tons of dreams where I try like Hell.).

TheRevanchist

I was looking forward to watching this game. Just got home now, so missed most of it. And, based on what I have seen in the last 2 minutes, I really didn’t miss anything.

LemonJello

You did miss a Saint getting martyred on live tv.

Unsurprised

That was a nice interception. Otherwise, no, this is TNF Classic.

LemonJello

Thanks for the square root of fuck all in Lowratio League, Cortland Sutton.

Game Time Decision

Paging Alvin Kamara to the house phone
Maybe answering a phone counts as a catch

jjfozz

MY DAD PASSING AWAY, I CALL IT INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM CAUSE IT FEELS LIKE MY HEART GOT RIPPED OUT

Unsurprised

You have friends and family to mourn with. Please appreciate that.

jjfozz

God yes I do. And you make an excellent point. Death makes a person reflect on life, and I’m hoping I can right some of my dumber fucking faults.

WCS

https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/nfl-s-browns-plan-to-leave-cleveland-stadium-for-dome-in-the-suburbs/ar-AA1ssxYN?ocid=msedgntphdr&cvid=f29c03a22fc4468e8493a529a498bd88&ei=8

What exactly have the Hashtag Pauls accomplished to warrant a new stadium, funded with tax-payer monies? Haslam should be forced to give hazard pay to Hashtag Pauls season ticketholders, and I’ll stand by that until they make a Superb Owl.

Last edited 35 minutes ago by WCS
Unsurprised

Haslam is willing to part with a little bit of money – about as much as he’ll earn in interest off his team in a day or two – and politicians are incredibly cheap whores

jjfozz

Drinking vodka in honor of the old man tonight. Goddamn, he was such a fucking great dude. I apologize for all the schmaltz, guys and gals.

Unsurprised

Vodka sounds like a good idea.

Gumbygirl

You have nothing to apologize for. I miss my dad too.

litre_cola

Donks D is good? Saints O sucks?

WCS

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Unsurprised

TNF Español hosts just called Groper Cleveland an “authentic disaster”

Unsurprised

“Genuine disaster.” Sorry. I was translating literally.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Groper Cleveland is especially good since he’s been the starter in non-consecutive terms and hopefully hasn’t gotten consecutive life sentences yet either.

jjfozz

“All of the nurses would wait for your father to walk out of the surgery room and take his shirt off as he walked towards the locker room. We would say, ‘Here he comes. Dr. John has his shirt off.'”

That made me proud, and kind of icky at the same time.

Unsurprised

Dad Fozz was rocking

Col. Duke LaCross
Gatoraids

making an interception?, HONEY BADGER DONT CARE

King Hippo

Honey Badger ain’t catch!

jjfozz

Whelp the viewing is over, four hours of making small talk until i thought my head would explode. Burying the old man tomorrow, giving the eulogy. How many shots of tequila is too much before a funeral/

Unsurprised

One fewer than you want.

Sharkbait

No such thing

Brocky

So, comparatively speaking, Sean payton on the broncos has to be one of the worst “second or third” coaching tenure after a supposedly good coach left a “good team” right?

Like there’s mike shanahan with the slurs

Seifert with the panthers

Rivera with the slurs

Ditka with the saints.

And joe Gibbs with the slurs

Who else?

Sharkbait

Not football, but Billy Martin rings a bell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KV-GJ9iNX8g

King Hippo

Seifert and Ditka are almost a class of their own. Stealing a living, as the Brits say.

Gatoraids

Craig T Nelson after Coach

litre_cola

Pederson with the Jags.

blaxabbath

He’s so lucky he followed that classless college guy. He’s basically just a forgettable relief for now.

WCS

Mike Babcock, anything after 2008.

blaxabbath

Advanced Statistics tell us Andy Reid was statistically More Impactful with the Eagles….

Also — was Jeff Fischer ever good? Because I remember that guy somehow stuck around so long that I always assumed he had come up with the fake punt or something.

Sharkbait

So, I didn’t win THE lottery, but I did win A lottery

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Col. Duke LaCross

Thanks for the reminder, my state liquor control board has a Pappy Van Winkle and Sazerac lottery going right now. Almost forgot to enter.

Unsurprised

If Oregon is any indication, the best way to win the lottery is to be on the board.

blaxabbath

Just go to a free state.

King Hippo

I love this song. I also love Tonya Donnelly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBi676v4Gs4

Gumbygirl

I am not clicking on that. Last time I listened to Belly, I had Feed the Tree stuck in my head for days!

LemonJello

“The last time I listened to my belly, I go in trouble for eating too many fruit roll-ups and YooHoo before dinner!”

-E. Manning

King Hippo

This is a very poor FITBAW match, and unworthy of delaying OpiumDreemz much longer.

Sharkbait

But there is a very good ice football match in Detroit right now!

Mr. Ayo

Boycotting the Donks Woo fixture to RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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King Hippo

Bastard Man gon Bastard Man

Doktor Zymm

Wait..the JUGS machine? LOL

King Hippo

should really rename that thang Mike McCarthy’s Milkshake

King Hippo

PANUELO!!

Doktor Zymm

Game over? Eh, close enough

King Hippo

knew I shoulda made that bet with Mister Pickle!

LemonJello

Who has two thumbs and will be semi-coherently providing a boots on the ground for Commies V Black Panthers at the stadium formerly known as Little Danny Snyder’s House of Horrors?

This guy.

Doktor Zymm

Looking forward to it! Have all the fun and none of the dysentery!

Spur

Dont drink the water

ArmedandHammered

And stay out of the “rain”.

blaxabbath

Your gonna tear your acl.

King Hippo

let’s just say the espanol Peleton ad…is laser-focUsed on the Balls de Steel y Fury market

LemonJello

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LemonJello

Goddammit.

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Doktor Zymm

It’s a lie that the internet saves everything, because I can’t find the bizarre commercial for vagina perfume from the early 2000s that had a personal trainer stealing the seat off his female client’s stationary bike so he could smell it.

King Hippo

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

ArmedandHammered

The internet deleted that video from itself, out of self preservation.

ArmedandHammered

Or shame.

Doktor Zymm

Have you SEEN the internet?

litre_cola

I hear I can find horny singles in my area on it.

Game Time Decision

I’ve also just won an iPad

Gumbygirl

Ewwww. Who thought that was a good idea?

Doktor Zymm

At least 1 guy

BugEyedBoo
litre_cola

I love this place so fucking much. I knew someone would find it.

Col. Duke LaCross

Evidently, it’s still a thing.

https://vulva-original.com/en/shop/

Unsurprised

Oh! It’s Japanese. That explains everything.

Col. Duke LaCross

Oh no.

litre_cola

Reporting for duty for this trashish Hippo.

King Hippo

It won’t disappoint, since you is looking FOAR TRASH FITBAW

King Hippo

For the life of me, I wish I could remember why Georgia State = “Sex Panthers” in HippoSpeak

LemonJello

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Doktor Zymm

I assume it’s nawt because Georgia is the Peach state and you were under the impression that peaches are a metaphor for vaginas in that Presidents of the United States song “Peaches” because that song is about the actual delicious stone fruit.

King Hippo

I won’t lie…it always made me feel kinda creeped out when I sang it to my oldest kid while trying to get her to eat peach baby food. Just the refrain, but STILL

King Hippo

The DraftKings espanol advertisimo has David Ortiz. FYI

Senor Weaselo

I apologize, I am still buzzing about Judge inside-outing that and Playoff Stanton running at full speed around the bases with a sundial (but it’s not his fault).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pusZXECS0mM

Doktor Zymm

Carr can never play on a team without a large collection of all black merch

blaxabbath

TRADE HIM TO MIAMI!

Spur

if this Super Dome is a rockin, head for higher ground, there’s a Hurricane

Doktor Zymm

Superdome, Beyond Thunderdome

Gumbygirl

I have been to two games there. It’s a fun place, the crowd is really into it.

King Hippo

I know I will regret turning the sound on. But fuck me, I have no attention span.

Unsurprised

SAP hermano

Spur

I might turn this off early. Am worried about the side effects of prolonged exposure to Bo Nix could cause.

King Hippo

oh man, you NEVAR wanna go Full Ken!

Redshirt

Baby.

If I survived Neil O’Donnell, Paul Justin, Akili Smith, Scott Mitchell, Gus Frerotte, Jon Kitna, Carson Palmer, Andy Dalton, Ryan Finley, Jeff Driskel, Brandon Allen, a one-legged Joe Burrow, and a pre-bearded Ryan Fitzpatrick, you can survive Bo Nix.

Doktor Zymm

But is surviving the same as Living?

Redshirt

The dead can’t feel pain, though.

Unsurprised

Oh, fuck. Are we still doing this?

LemonJello

Need a Hippo ruling on TNF’s MANDATORY status!

King Hippo

Nope. Just highly encouraged.

Redshirt

TO THE ENCOURAGTORIUM!!!

Doktor Zymm

Horrible Thursday Night games in general or this one in specific? Either way, it’s not like most of us have anything better to do on a Thursday

Unsurprised

That’s the problem

Spur

Enjoy it while you can

Unsurprised

God Fucking Damn It!

Doktor Zymm

He is still just a rattler in a cage
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Gumbygirl

Despite all his rage.

Spur

Evening Folks

King Hippo

Holy shit, y’all. Frank Beamer is STILL ALIVE!

herodotus450

Turns out Brian Kelly is NOT a fan of One Direction

King Hippo

Nor having to take valuable game prep time away, in order to attend a student manager’s funeral

Redshirt

When you watch tonight’s game, have one thought continuously rolling in your mind:

Amazon paid $58,823,529 for the rights to broadcast this game.

Oh, and forty-one cents.

King Hippo

Bad enough for me to put BC/VPI on other screen

ArmedandHammered

But it did give a friend of mine a job, he is in charge of all sound. And chooses the bumper music.

Doktor Zymm

“Free firewood? That’s nice and all but I do live in a volcano. I guess I could teach the fire pirhanas to fetch. Would you like to meet the fire pirhanas?”

Gumbygirl

Not tonight, I have a haddock.

King Hippo

6-3 or 9-6 is on its way

LemonJello

I’m hoping for a 7*-5 final score.

*2 safeties and a field goal

King Hippo

I went to bed at sundown, but there was apparently a 14-5 in JV last night. #KnowHope

Redshirt

9-6.

TD w/ Extra Points.
TD but on 2-point attempt, the QB is sacked in his own end zone for a safety.

Don’t look at me like that! It’s TNF; weird shit happens on Thursday.

King Hippo

I want to say the old 500s/Jaguras Peak TNF memes go all the way back to KSK days.

Horatio Cornblower

Finished the trial today. I did use ‘Ancient Aliens’ in my closing, and judging from where the jury appears to be heading, (they returned what would be a very favorable verdict for my client, but they fucked up the form so we have to go back tomorrow AM and have them reconsider and fix it), it worked.

The moral of the story is being an idiot works.

Redshirt

How hard is it to check one box? We’re they going for a Buddhist both guilty and not guilty verdict?

Senor Weaselo

It’s the sound of one juror clapping.

LemonJello

Did they forget the cover sheet on the TPS report?

Redshirt

“The Jury was instructed thrice, verbally and written, that driving an overweight tractor trailer is NOT a Capital Offense. The verdict of ‘Hang ‘em at dawn’ is invalid.’”

Doktor Zymm

If the jury wants to hang my laundry at dawn they are welcome to