Yes, we get the Prem back this weekend, to go along with a fairly killer set of JV ball. It’s (momentarily) good to be alive.
That means Spurs and Hammers over morning coffee (7:30, USA). In my mind, jury’s still out on both – they could be Zooropa contenders, they could fall to mid-Table mediocrity (or worse, for Rum Ham). Always good to make a fast start out of the international break.
Bonesaws/Trashbirds is USA’s pick for the 10:00 window. Too bad, as I will watch Everton away to the Ipswiches (Peacock). For the neutrals, though? I’d be MOAR into Men Untied/Beesus and/or Mighty Whitey/Villa. Pretty crowded for the non-Brit-TV window, anyway.
yeah right’s struggling Cherries welcome the King’s Afrikan Water Pistols (12:30, NBC) for an intimate Spotlight Dance. Keep yer hands where ah can see ’em, this ain’t no whorehouse.
Sunday and MNF are kind of dull, which has the benefit of not interfering with MANDATORY duties.
Nebraska (+6.5) at Indiana (Noon, Fox)
YES, we have lived long enough that Indiana FITBAW is relevant. I remember Curt Cignetti from his days as an NC State assistant, was always a fiery and engaging character. Good on him for this time in the sun.
Auburn (+4) at Missouri (Noon, ESPN)
War Damn Eagle seems to have stepped back from the brink of the abyss – but they still ain’t got no offense. Mizzou could use a solid, convincing win here. They need to show that their Bonfire Cult whipping was a one-off.
South Cakalaky (-1) at Steerfuckers North (12:45, SECN)
WOW, don’t touch that white-hot seat, Coach Venables. Home DOGS to the 3-3 Chickens? That ain’t a good sign at all.
Alabama (-3) at Tennessee (3:30, ABC)
Somehow, someway…this is only the second best game today. In the conference. Loser here will get to suffer the wailings and lamentations of a most-aggrieved fanbase. Tennessee’s offense has gone missing of late, whereas the Tide been having problems on defense. Should be a fun watch.
Michigan (-3.5) at Illinois (3:30, CBS)
YES, we have lived long enough that Illinois FITBAW is relevant. Coach is still the fattest fat fuck around, though. My God, he could lose half his body weight and still not be able to see his wee-wee. Both Army and Navy can throw more successfully than the Wolverines. It’s some 1930s shit going on in Ann Arbor.
Colorado (+2.5) at Arizona (4:00, Fox)
The Sanders hype train heads to the desert to meet the reeling Fightin’ Blax. Maybe their spines will stiffen this week, and give us a fun channel flip option.
We’re heading out to the state fair in a minute. Fun fact! The same space Stupid PeopleTM used for the AZ ballot recount is where like Neyo is going to perform or something.
You better get your walking in!
Dammit, he finally figured it out – talking about the late Arnold Palmer’s cock is gonna win him this election.
https://x.com/atrupar/status/1847765368657363009
Those people are so fucking weird.
I look forward to them all running around screaming in my face that they’ve been right about everything all along now.
Remember that time he said something similar while addressing the Boy Scouts of America? Even Denny Hastert thought it was inappropriate behavior in front of kids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiFoE7LrwtM
/snuggling with wifey
Me: “Of all the belly buttons I’ve fondled, your’s is the best.”
Wifey: “Just how many belly buttons have you fondled?
Me: “Hundreds for sure.”
Wifey: “Hundreds?”
Me: “I mean, I had my fair share of girlfriends and when you think of all the prospective employee interviews I’ve conducted…”
Wifey: […] “That’s not funny.”
Me: [smirking] “Really, though?”
Live shot of me watching M*CH*G*N continue to crash and burn:
The neighbors down the road did their haywagon Trick-or-Treat today. I now have about 10 pounds of overstocked candy.
They should have this on the local beggars night, not whenever the Buckeyes have their bye week *grumble*. Damnit, that’s what holidays are supposed to be for; holy days, with their occurrence not determined by the days and hours of the mundane world. I’d go yell at some clouds, but it’s a beautiful cloudless fall day.
They’ve done this on our street (road) for years and years. My daughter did it from age four until she was too old to trick or treat. That first couple of years I carried her and tried to keep up with those ten-year-olds running from house to house. I though I was gonna die. The old guy that ran it back then used to keep to the Old Ways, but millenials… *grumbles some more*
Did you just see the dive for Bama. Makes Neymar shake his damn head!!!!
“USC is playing like a team desperate not to lose.”
If you have to play with a sense of urgency in order to defeat Maryland, your season is already lost.
ASU coach Kenny Dillingham: “Everybody give me money to buy the right players!”
Also ASU coach Kenny Dilligham: “We’re having open tryout for a kicker in mid-October!”
“Where’s the money, Dillingham?!”
I should have gotten hammock stands and hammocks years ago. So comfy! I got a cheaper and not quite as nice but still excellent version for Chicago and now I’m looking around for better hammocks that can use the same stand. I could have been lounging in these for years!
Put on some quality jammies and you’re living right.
My robe collection is getting good usage as always!
I miss the hammock that I had in our house in Del Mar, but what I miss even more than that was being 25 and living by the beach.
That was a good life when I lived in Pacific Beach at 25. I could walk to Tourmaline surf park in like 8 minutes.
Man — the stories about walking places that this guy could tell….
This is a woman who visited the hammock district!
Not going to lie, I am really digging Illinois’ leather-decal helmets.
yeah, this wins the throwback wars, hands down. My Illini buddy always refers to Michigan as “the scUM”
Wear real leather helmets or GTFO
As I may have mentioned before, my non-racist grandfather was the salt of the earth. Best man I have ever met. Dude was born in Alabama, and revered Bear Bryant. But then he moved to East Tennessee, and ultimately lived most of his life in Asheville, NC (all of Western NC is yuuuuggggge Vols territory).
So…he’s the only person I’ve ever met who liked both the Tide and Vols. I asked my mom this week who he cheered for when they played. She remembered asking him the very same question, but she couldn’t recall his answer!
This pointless, meandering HippoYarn has been brought to you by #4thPill. 4th Pill. It’s what’s FOAR dinner!
Either way he wouldn’t enjoy this game.
He sounds like a good man despite his rooting interests.
He also liked making the joke “can’t help being ugly, but they could stay home” – which ain’t bad for grandpa standards!
I had a grandfather who was one of the biggest influences on my life. Just a wonderful man who taught me about baseball. I’ve mentioned before that when I was growing up I thought he had a hearing problem because he had this earpiece in when he went to church.
Turned out he was listening to Vin Scully and the Dodgers game.
He worked for Sante Fe railroad as an electrician.
My other grandfather was a vile, racist bastard who lived in Texas his whole life who once “sicced” his 3 German shephards on his mailman WHILE WE WERE VISITING FROM CALIFORNIA because his mailman was black.
He was not a major influence on anyone. But my dad enjoyed telling us the story of one night when his dad came home drunk, my dad and his brother and their mother just beat the shit out of him.
Aw, family!
Toradol, a Vols QB’s bestest buddy!
Michigan’s offense is an abortion; luckily it’s still legal there.
what if the only thing preventing the indiana hoosiers football team from being a power was bobby knight not walking along the shores of hell
Idi Amin is fucking him with a cactus dildo, and no I will not take questions.
Um, that’s fine, but I still have a lot of questions.
The only answer I can give you is that no, prickly pear jam is *not* a lubricant.
Up the fucking Cherries!
Sorry for the delay. Been a busy morning.
Give us all 3 of them points!
Arseholes should have had 2 fucking red cards but we’ll take the W!
WOO!
JV football is so much more interesting than last year with the playoff system expanding.
Which I thought was very much to be the case. But traditionalists have to bitch about everything. 12 seems exactly right to me.
“It does, doesn’t it?” – Deanna Favre, gazing wistfully at a tape measure
Big Bruins win @ Rutgers takes them to 2-5, still in it!
Badgers doin the safety dance!
Not sure if I’ve ever talked about the age difference between my wife and I but I’ll give you a hint. We went for a long hike this morning and she’s now currently clearing some light brush and I’m icing my knees.
Ok so we know she’s Australian…
What’s with your Detroit Drudge Report Wings? We’ve doubled you guys in points and the season has barely started!
People stopped buying Little Caesars, all downhill form there
She will wreck your ass in a game of knifey-spooney.
(Scotchnaut can only stay competitive with her during the “knifey” phase)
Good job cradle robber!
Do you help her with her homework?
This stupid new math….
“How did sixty-four get into it?”
I feel you, Mrs Cola is 8 years younger than me. The “fun” part is when a tune comes on, like Stone Roses for example and I say this was released in 85. “I was 2”
Gumby is 25 days older than me. As God intended.
I was 29 days older than my ex-wife.
It’s about a 5-year difference between Senorita Weaselo and me, and I definitely feel it telling her about pop culture things.
Mrs GTD is 48 weeks older than I. She loves the 4 weeks where we are the same age.
But that’s 48 of Sweet Mrs. Robinson ACTION!
I think I’m going to go gun shopping today. I wonder how many others like me I will see slinking in trying to be inconspicuous about something we should have done in 2016 or 2020 or really back in the 80s or 90s (Well, 90s for me).
Look, Trump didnt take your guns away last time despite saying he would, what are the chances he does it this time?
It’s the state I’m concerned with. Two years ago they tried to impose California-style restrictions and I didn’t heed the warning then.
You need a 500 Bushwhacker, a pistol so powerful it needs a rifle case.
Dirty Harry and his puny .44 Magnum pop-gun will quiver in fear against this .50 calibre monster, although the recoil will probably break both of your wrists.
https://ibb.co/MDj3ZcT
These latest developments are less than ideal for Arsenal’s championship hopes.
Better than bottling it the last day!
THAT GOAL BY RYAN CHRISTIE I CALL IT LIAM PAYNE BECAUSE IT FOUND ITS WAY THROUGH A WINDOW.
Banner this man.
That Payne popped right out of the frame
I think Arsenal should sneak an 11th man out there; there’s a lot of people already on the pitch, and probably no one will notice.
UPDATE:
https://www.wpxi.com/news/local/woman-taken-hospital-after-being-shot-west-oakland/BS7EBPHCHJGVFM2PUIQCE3LL3E/
It *did* make the news!
Cheer her up about her speedholes?
When she runs she’ll be like one of those Vortex footballs!
They call that a “million dollar wound” but Mike Brown must keep that money because she’ll never see a nickel of it.
“Little bastard shot me in the ass!”
Think I’ve figured it out. It’s not the weather that makes socal seem nice, it’s the people.
And now that all those people are here, the weather immediately feels more pleasant.
Yes, we are lovely.
The inverse here. Now that the crustpunks and voluntary homeless have migrated south for the winter, it seems more pleasant here. Granted, the people here are still assholes (but not as much as Seattleites. JFC.), but they’re tolerable assholes.
They’re also different from the Albuquerque assholes. And, speaking of which, I see the state of New Mexico has made an anti-littering ad with Bryan Cranston as Walter White. Fucking nonsense. They should be using him to make anti-meth or at least anti-fentanyl (At least Crystal Blue Persuasion won’t immediately kill you or make sure it’s 100% pure or what the fuck ever. I’m not the assholes who injected this shit into the populace.)
I guess I’m saying I am not a pleasant person. And that is yet another reason – why should I subject other people to me?
Itchy times for the Pistoleros here…
So it’s a day that ends in y?
Find something you love as much as Arsenal loves making things as difficult as possible for themselves and you’ll never work a day in your life.
Paying bills and making some charitable donations. The charities I support are almost exclusively animal or environment related. If asked why I don’t donate to human-related charities my answer is “there are way too many people on the planet and a good 70% of them suck.”
/Makes massive donation to the Leopards Eating People’s Faces party
I feel like paying my bills is a charitable donation. Do you how much money my utility companies spend on conservation efforts?
It’ll like I’m part of a gofundme and the award is electricity.
Every time some asshole in my area starts yapping about the need for high-density housing my local open space conservation group gets another check from me.
I’m all for big green open spaces brother!!!!
Maybe it’d be easier to go green if we weren’t putting 100% tariffs on the one country that has mass-produced green energy technology down to a literal science.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrwjiO1MCVs&list=RDGMEM6ijAnFTG9nX1G-kbWBUCJA&index=6
ah didn’t trust it then!
Oh, it’s bonesaws for everyone on Newcastle after that loss!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cehUGEVm5Kg
Oh Fulham; thou hast Fulham’d.
Really? I had no idea.
Rage, rage, rage, Lil bit o rage. Ragey mcrage. Nice lil ragey Saturday.
Perhaps there’s a nearby pub where you could drown those sorrows?
we’ve established that Deci is plenty tall to drive ye home
Indiana Jones showed us the way.
That’s tomorrow. Scumbags v Liverpool
Liverpool is having an intrasquad scrimmage?
Weird.
House is full of women for Sistershirt’s Bridal Shower.
I welcome all your thoughts and prayers and alibies.
GET BACK IN THERE, soldier, and don’t leave until you get laid*!
*sistershirt excluded obvs, since OH is nae WV
Spoken like someone who’s never been to SE Ohio.
Just smile and make sure to keep all their glasses full.
Two questions?
1. Where?
2. Is my hair fucked up? (“Noooo” or more overt validation accepted.)
I’d add… do these jeans make my ass look big?
Your hair is always pristine sir.
Didn’t Ohio recently legalize marijuana?
The dispensaries are now open.
Do we still call that a target rich environment?
Go be charming!
*turns to rest of clubhouse* Shot not wingman!
Wow, a single guy surrounded by young women whose jealousy and hormones will be raging by their proximity to one of their own who is soon to be wed?
Sounds horrible.
Take some vitamin E, brush your teeth, and comb your hair.
Pants are not optional at this time, but God willing and the creek don’t rise, perhaps will be at a later time.
Well this is odd; Everton isn’t being very disappointing at all!
Ipswich are really, really shite. A lovely, relaxing morning of footy for me.
Fuck everything and burn it to the ground. Big game is later when DFO’s own Cavalry FC can clinch 2nd.
My daughter met her boyfriend’s family this past week. They’re Eye-talian.
She comes back to our house and tells Mrs. Horatio “All they did was yell at each other. Even when they were just talking normally they yelled it at each other.”
I’m like, he doesn’t live in the Baltimore area, does he?
I know you guys are tired of me constantly going “This is why Trump won…”
Crocs to release Pet Crocs for dogs: Where to buy, release information, price and more explored
That’s not why Trump won.
That’s why a just and loving God would send a meteor the size of Mt. Everest hurtling through our atmosphere.
So Reality is God playing SimCity and moving the mouse curser to the Disaster menu?
He needs to click faster!
Are we going to do this? I’ll tell you exactly why people who voted for Obama twice and then Trump did so. Because they bought Obama’s bullshit about hope and change, and felt betrayed. The first term – they forgave that because he had the financial crash and Tea Party and all that bullshit. The second time? They realized what had happened wasn’t a fluke, that Obama had actually given his administration over to the Clintons before he even gave his victory speech in 2008, and they didn’t want any more Clinton bullshit. They especially didn’t want undiluted Hillary bullshit, who was not, like Bill and like Barack Obama, the most charismatic men of their respective generations.
Eventually, many realized that he was as useless as he seemed, especially as the years went on and enough Republicans realized sitting out the opportunity to use the power of the office with an indifferent idiot at the head was too much, and so demons like Pompeo and Bolton et al. hopped aboard and Wilbur Ross kept up this idiotic trade war with China, that he was just as much of a bust as the last guy. So they bounced.
The funny thing now is seeing how he may just win this time while showing almost no interest in doing so. I think what people say is what people think – they felt better off under Trump, Biden and Kamala are the same people they voted against in 2016, and, so, fuck it. Let’s try again.
Personally, I hope they both lose. But miracles don’t happen. So idk. My vote doesn’t matter anyway in this state.
That seems reasonable.
But I still haven’t been shown proof that he isn’t God’s chosen replacement for Jesus Christ.
Not sure I will watch the 2nd half at the pool during Deci’s swimming lessons. Feel a bit more unhinged this morning, more than normal.
It’s an underreported story how much so many players (pitchers, mostly) that played against those assholes absolutely despises them.
And they’re right to do so.
The media won’t every defend all the other teams that got jobbed. Good on these men for sticking up for themselves. Man in the Arena and all that….
#notsexist but this broad doing the coloUr commentating for the Mighty Whitey match throws me into an absolute rage
The preferred term in the Premier League is ‘cun…
That’s a fucking penalty you VAR cunts!!!
Fucking hell. Fuuucckkk
Started the sod install yesterday. They finishing today.
Thinking the child safety fence has to go next….
Sod in the goddamned desert seems an inherently bad idea.
One of the largest American metropolitan areas being in the desert seems an inherently bad idea, let alone whatever the fuck they do with their landscaping.
It goes back to Bobby and Peggy Hill, learning us that Phoenix is a testament to man’s hubris.
I agree.
Anyone whi doesn’t own at least a quarter acre of grass should just get out. And since the Cardinals only RENT their grass…..
Yeah the only place Sod should be sent is to the Phantom Zone.
Kneel upon Sod!
Looks great, well done.
BANNER THIS MAN!
This seems like someone should get a card…
https://twitter.com/FootballXtra0/status/1847642796145975442
Holy shit, that’s an oowie and a half!
https://twitter.com/FootballXtra0/status/1847642575513014422
That’s gotta be one hell of a back injury!
I just rsvp’d to see Vance at a tactical gear shop in town (Peoria).
I was playing poker last night and a woman there said that both candidates sucked but she was going to vote for Vance because he was hot and I almost threw the meatball tray at her.
This guy. She thinks this guy is hot.
Not something I ever expected to actually hear from a female of any race/species/furniture.
They’re a cult.
She’s wet to vote Trump.
Yeah, I was taken aback for more than one reason.
I mean, HIPPO is pudgy and weak-chinned. I even do LAUNDRY!!!
Get in you Mexican beauty!!!
Fucking deflection. Let the roller coaster of emotion continue!!!
Whoever designed the Roma badge REALLY don’t know what a wolf looks like. Is the visual effect of the Bluth family making chicken sounds.
Genoa sure are pants, by the 30 minutes of them that I have now watched.
Ipswich calls itself the “Tractor Boys” – which sounds like “Farmers Only” meets Grindr.
No matter how shit West Ham are going, they always manage to pull themselves together against Spurs, and it doesn’t really seem hate based. Anyway, KUDUS!!!
feeling 2-2 to Hippo
/as always, could just be gas
//was DEFFO gas
Sack Lopetegui
He might just beat #DoucheStrong to the punch.
It’s either him or one of the players is rotten. Evidence points to Paqueta.
https://www.wpxi.com/news/trending/jay-cutler-arrested-charged-with-dui-gun-possession/OT7QUGGK6BD5VMSWPPIR74XBO4/
You know he hissed at everyone, and sprayed urine everywhere to mark territory in county lockup.
Two grand to the guy he hit was the offer to not call the cops?
If I’m drunk as fuck and run into you — congratulations, let’s prioritize heading over here to get you your $20k cash because, who knows, maybe I caused body damage and take the rest as my stupid tax and thanks for not involving the cops or the IRS in this gifting experience i am enjoying with you, my newest old friend.
Almost like Jay Cutler makes bad decisions in pressure situations.
As your attorney I highly recommend this practice.