Huzzah, we are back for another helping:
Arizona State (+8.5) at Unded Bill Snyders (7:00, ESPN)
Poor little Sparky, 7-2 and absolutely nobody is buying it.
Oregon (-14) at Wisconsin (7:30, NBC)
Another week, another super-extensive, prime-time turd for NBC. On top of Notre Dame playing a schedule that would make a decent high school program blush..
Tennessee (+10) at Georgia (7:30, ABC)
Game of the Day by a far sight, and even this is a double digit line. UGA is a dangerous, cornered animal – but they might just not be any damned good.
Kansas (+2.5) at Original Recipe Big Love (10:15, ESPN)
Damned shame there isn’t a flipping companion, otherwise I could make a case for staying up to watch this’un.
No team from Utah will ever be respected. Eat the loss and hopefully we will watch you lose again next week.
I’m going to make the cocktail of the century, using these ingredients combined in that mason jar with those opiates crushed up as the fancy-like centerpiece.
See ya’ on the moon!
https://ibb.co/m8Vn5CY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbe7Dc_r3as
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFG1mHtuk4w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3nd2TxMKIY
Magic show was a hit. Real pro working the local ballroom. Better than that, still no fires in Hawaii. God bless. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.
Real pro working the local ballroom.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RP0_8J7uxhs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_3dc6X-Iwo
Is there such a thing as a Grand Matron Saint?
Yes
And yes again
In regrettable defiance of DFO Policy, I have to abstain from this vote, on account that she is a dead ringer to my grandmother.
I already have enough issues to give a psychiatrist a car, I don’t need to start working on giving them a boat as well.
Maybe she is your grandmother betcha’ never thought of that.
That’s a no. Let’s just say genetics gives to female members of the Shirt Clan that which she paid money to get. Please see the aforementioned issues.
No to “you never thought of that,” meaning you did think of that?
No, as in she’s not my grandmother. Any thoughts involving Nina Hartley was done in innocent, non-relational, hypothetical situations. The way God intended.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Give me her number and I’ll have her featured in next week’s Sexy Friday.
After doing research on the state of a decomposed body after 15 years, an Internet search was unsuccessful in determining if a skeleton fetish would be necrophilia or something else.
Now if you excuse me, I’m going to wait for the FBI to show up. They’re going to love this one!
Cologne
Utrecht
Regina (h/t Larry)
Verona
Ypres
Damn it, Cincinnati. Take the damn loss!
Me: “That was a depressing end to a shitty Saturday. I can’t imagine it getting any worse.”
Commentator: “And now Iowa State is going to enjoy its new tradition of celebrating wins by signing ‘Sweet Caroline’.”
Me: “I was wrong! Where’s the remote? Where’s the remote?!”
DO BETTER BIG 12 (16)
BUM BUM BUM!
“Please don’t make us lose to Harbaugh.”
“They will! They will! They will!”
A few years ago there was a major drought in the Southeast, so bad that Georgia ran a desperation play in which they tried to claim that the state borders were drawn incorrectly way back in the good old days* and that Georgia was entitled to most of the water in the Tennessee River.
While dubious, this claim never amounted to anything because it started raining again and, I believe, the claim was dropped.
What I’m saying is that Tennessee needs another deluge of Biblical proportions to again defeat Georgia.
*By “good old days” they probably mean “back when slaves were still a thing” but that’s another story.
Narrator: It did not, in fact, rain.
Yesterday I wake up.
Need a piss.
Take a piss and the toilet keeps running.
Shut it off at the valve.
Valve starts pouring water.
Call landlord.
This is why I rent by the way.
Dude comes over
Takes a look
I’ve got a brand new toilet, low flush.
New water line from the wall.
I’m shitting in tall grass!
Singularly weird day.
New toilet and you’re still shitting in the grass?
Man, I don’t know for sure but I doubt that’s going to play in Portugal.
Ahh the Ole Porto piss. Fronds tickle the scrot
Tell me a better piss.
You can’t!
The Golden Age of TV:
Come on Vols. I root for chaos
Now kaos v. chaos, that’s a fight I would watch
Just finished “The Water Knife” by Paolo ‘name too long to write’, wow. Awesome shit.
https://www.wpxi.com/news/local/driver-rescued-after-truck-crashes-over-hillside-brentwood/SJHLKCZTHNAN7DEE5WQR5GOWZY/
This was mine from earlier today; probably about the same time WVU was shitting the bed after Rape U.
Did you tell him he can’t park there?
My mom grew up in Brentwood.
My dog is watching me eat a spicy jambalaya as though I was going to give him any, because I was curious to see what this spicy concoction from hell would do to his digestive system.
While watching JV football I learn about all sorts of new disease and the pharma that will help with only mild psychotic side effects.
Say what you will about RFK, Jr., (and believe me, I will too), he’s dead-on about Pharma not being allowed to advertise.
Definitely doing his best to bring back Roosevelt
His first order of business is going to be removing floUride from the water
Been a disaster in Calgary aka Texas north
Eh, I’m on a private well.
How is the panning for gold working out???
My wife owns 4 metal detectors, and I’m not even joking.
If there’s gold in CT she will find it.
Personally, I like the pick. I think he’s got some good, solid ideas that need to be polished before he presents them to the public.
I just hope there’s a Sirhan Sirhan, Jr.
Even the naked, rambling wino pleasuring themselves with a possum has a right idea or two.
Let’s not belittle winos
Or possums.
Healthcare advice from a heroin addict is always a good idea.
I feel a cold coming on, starting with a sore throat and congestion.
So tonight I’m going with OTC night-time cough syrup, pineapple juice, vodka, prescription opiate painkillers, and maybe some peach yogurt.
This should be a wild ride. Stay tuned.
I’ve been fighting one off for about three days now. For me, it’s been Dayquil, white wine, and 20 mg gummies.
I appreciate that hustle
Me and my friend tonight
https://youtu.be/dGt0T6XF2HA?si=4Xx_ZieN_3xHIGQZ
there is a Raising Cain’s near our house, we have been there twice. I woudl rather eat raw muskrat after it’s been on the side of the road in August.
Yeah, when it opened up out here, there was much rejoicing, and I fail to understand it.
Went to a new one back in the summer; I didn’t get anything after my buddy spent $14 on three mediocre looking chicken fingers and a biscuit without a drink.
It’s kind of meh, especially that sauce they’re always bragging about. I like Popeye’s way more.
THIS BOURBON, I CALL IT NINA HARTLEY CAUSE IT’S GOING DOWN REALLY EASY
BAH GAWD KING THAT’S BOURBLE’S MUSIC
Yes, I’m committed to Lady Bourbon tonight. She’ll lead the dance, and I’ll follow. And throw up around 4 in the morning. I can’t resist.
Nina Hartley, having a big week on this site.
The gods on Olympus got together when they gifted her that ass. Seriously.
She did once complain of soreness in her profession.
So it’s an aged bourbon?
Put up the walls in the shed today. The middle Fozz Spawn helped, although his bitching broke the meter before he engaged. He was making cuts that would take me hours to make. Luckily, he still hates me.
Update on that fucking 3D printer: apparently the one we bought only uses special files, the kind that are impossible to find anywhere on the internet.
Those fucks better be ready to be on the receiving end of my wrath. Cause someone is going to lose a lot of blood.
It would be poetic if you stabbed them with a knife you 3d printed on their machine, or maybe just a jagged piece of plastic from the housing
It’s fucking crazy. Why would you build a printer that didn’t accept the goddamn files that every other printer uses? Vengeance must be served, like a piping hot plate of homemade pasta.
I got a 3d printer but never got as far as the leveling/set up part.
at least Carson Beck’s mascara still looks HAWT
“If that guy wasn’t a QB, he’d never get any action.” My middle son with an astute observation.
I’m sleepy
Hi sleepy, I’m Mr. Ayo.
Better than being hungry.
I’m that too, sadly. *fires up delivery apps*
I love
Tennessee
Illinois
Temple
Syracuse
Methinks you really love acrostic poems.
Cologne
Utrecht
Regina
Verona
Ypres
Are all sorts of good
Bats
Are
The
Shit
Bama
Ohio State
Oregon
Boise State
Stanforf
Purdue
UConn
Syracuse
Stanford
Yale
Hawaii
Army
Iowa
Rice
Youngstown St
Belmont
Arkansas
LSU
Louisiana Tech
South Carolina
Southern Miss
Michigan
Arizona
California
Kansas St
Indiana
New Mexico
Georgia Tech
Yankton
Ohio St
UCLA
Rutgers
Michigan St
Oklahoma
Mississippi
South Florida
Florida
Arizona St
Connecticut
Eastern Illinois
Shout out to the Salukis!
Yankton? I never touched ’em!
Um, UGA is not a dangerous, cornered animal. They’re getting thrashed by Tennessee.
Are they?
Well now they made me look bad
Do you guys in CA get a ton of alerts when there is a storm possibly hitting and the electric company gives you regular updates on “red fla g warning in effect for leeward communities” about possible power shut offs?
I’m not complaining. But, having never witnessed a weather event before, can I get attention for this the way people do when like, there’s flooding “back home”? Can I keep checking my phone at dinner and be like, “I’m so sorry. I never do this. There’s just….there’s a red flag warning in Hawaii and I’m really keeping up on the alerts.” And then everyone needs to be like, “ooooh. oh. sad for you. can we help? oh wow.”
Yes, we do.
I don’t, but my particular town doesn’t seem to get red flag warnings. We are directly on top of the Hayward fault though, so if disaster does strike it’ll probably be completely warningless and in that case I don’t mind if you garner sympathy by talking about how worried you are for your imaginary internet friend who may have fallen into a fault
We’re getting them in Connecticut.
None of you are special.
I’m on the Golden State Platinum Plan where I receive a warning on my phone 12 hours before an earthquake.
I’m taking the Mrs to a magic show at a ballroom in some hotel.
I’m bringing a gently used fleshlight for trade.
magic word is Fidelio
Don’t take a cab there; they’ll know.
If I say Lenore does that count?
NEVERMORE!!
Has she taken edibles?
Which one?
https://www.fleshlight.com/collections/fantasy
(dontclickatworkdontclickatworkdontclickatwork)
theme song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw1oM7LBbxE&pp=ygUcYmlsbHkgaWRvbCBmbGVzaCBmb3IgZmFudGFzeQ%3D%3D
Baylor deserves to be reabsorbed back into the Earth’s crust, and it also can take Neal Brown with it.
Embracing the feeling of being a loser and spoiler. GO GATORS
I can attest, its a good feeling dragging a team and its fanbase out of the playoffs and into the gutter with you.
Wow, this is like word-for-word how I proposed to Mrs. Horatio.