What have we got here? Ah, it’s the old ‘mirror game’ (8-2 vs 2-8) and it’s a divisional tilt so anything can happen. [snorts] C’mon, we know how this ends. At one point the Steelers were 3-2 and then a certain package of crushed monkey testicles from the Honduras ‘magically’ appeared and was ‘accidentally’ burned over a fire made of the doors of an abandoned insane asylum. Next thing you know the Steelers reel off five straight wins.
Minutaie:
-Piling On The Jets: Sauce Gardner threw his new coach under the bus, saying that tackling wasn’t an issue. Who badly missed a tackle last week? The same guy that hasn’t recorded an interception in 35 games. As a Jets starter, Rodgers winning percentage is lower than both Zach’s and Sam’s. Woody Johnson acknowledged that he considered benching Rodgers-if you can count on anything, it’s MAGA types throwing their kin under the bus.
-Useless Gabe Davis is done for the season after getting some meniscus surgery done. This does not affect the Jags outlook in any way whatsoever.
-NFL Security has sent out a ‘Burglary Alert” after the homes of Mahomes and Kelce were broken into. In related news, Nick Bosa’s velvet painting of Jesus kissing Trump’s feet is now under lock and key.
-The Seahawks facility is still without power due to yet another weather phenomenon being described in war terms. (Bomb Cyclone?) Not asked for comment by anyone, Pete Carroll opined, “This totally has the fingerprints of the ghost of Kenneth Lay all over it!”.
To The Game!
Steelers/Browns:
-Jameis Winston’s O/U for interceptions is .5. Put a mortgage on your house RIGHT NOW and get in on the over.
-Can Haz Blizzard?: Weather is calling for rain and gusty, busty winds (please feel free to post pics of busty weather patterns below) for this tilt. The O/U for the game is around 37. DRAIN YOUR SAVINGS ACCOUNT AND PUT IT ALL ON THE UNDER!
-Related To Above: The Steelers kicker Boswell was responsible for all of their points last week. It’s the second time this year that he’s accomplished that. It won’t be the last. Why? Because the Steelers are goddamn boring, that’s why.
-Winston has never played against the Steelers. I’ve the notion he’s going to be feeling crabby after the game and not in the usual way.
-I Laughed: Stefanski, who is feeling a bunch of pressure from the usual social media crowd, claims he’s not bothered. He cites the fact that he grew up listening to Philly sports radio as a reason that he’s inured against the relentless squawking.
Have at it.
SNOW
Haven’t seen so much at a game since Lawrence Taylor
Micheal Irvin nods
Dallas stadium roof falling apart sound certainly carrying a long way
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity Fuck.
I was told the Steelers defense was good.
In comparison to what?
Shitty defenses. Where is the pressure on Crab Legs???
was it a Samoan guy with fabulous hair who told you that?
Jason Momoa? He’s actually Hawaiian. Shame on you for implying they all look the same.
Polamalu, but I will condescendingly pretend it’s understandable that you would confuse the two while simultaneously talking shit about you to my Tongan neighbor
They are. It’s the offense that’s not as advertised
Only team to put up 20 on the Chargers until the Bengals last week
Mexican Flea guesting tonight with the big guy
Wait a sec here. Is it still the 2nd or is my Amazon feed slow?
I’m jacked up on a dozen barbiturates so help me out folks.
No Mormon jokes; she’s Mormon, I’m Catholic. We’re raising our child Methodist.
Not Unitarian?
We were debating Reformed Jewish vs Southern Baptist.
Is her name Dorothy? And did she surrender to you in the Mormon temple by I-495?
I drive past that thing three times a week, it is amazing.
The original photo:
https://ibb.co/f0qrcyY
Not Amish?
Nice avatar.
Mennonite?
Methodism is the least abrasive/squabble-producing sect. It was good enough for Hippo and tWBS, it’s good enough for all y’all Bricklets!!
No one did anything when they hyped the Gronkowskis
No one did anything when they hyped the Kelces
No one did anything when they hyped the Watts
No one did anything when I finally fucking snapped and tried to drive an armored truck through the local Wal Mart.
If you go to Ukraine you can just take one of the Russian tanks. They’re free.
I could settle a lot of scores with an operational tank. But, I’d rather do it with a Panzer, mostly because of all the Sgt. Rock comics I read growing up.
Be easier to get a Sherman.
Sgt. Rock & Freak Brothers: BEST COMICS EVER
I mean, a free tank is a free tank. Nawt gonna get too picky when the choice is free tank or no tank
“I rode a tank/held a general’s rank/while the Blitzkrieg raged/And the bodies stank”
Son of Killdozer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU73kzrhWig
Where’s Blax so I can tell him I told you this was a trap game
Whatever, Admiral
Either Hawaii, Nevada or Arizona. He’s warm climate man of mystery.
I’m starting to think nobody wants to win the AFC North.
It matches the national mood that no one cares about the AFC North.
I have no doubt that were twbs still alive, he would be trying to sleep with the bartender currently serving me. And not only because she’s talking about how Starship Troopers needs prequel movies.
Next time she puts a drink in front of you be sure to shout “SERVICE GUARANTEES CITIZENSHIP!”
WANT TO LEARN MORE?
GOT A PIC?
I’LL BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR
Oh hell, I would be trying and failing.
She was born in 93. Def twbs material.
Sounds in my balliwick, too bad for her I am happily married.
Too bad I’m an idiot
Yeah, that absolutely would have been in his swing zone.
His swing zone was bigger than Vlad Guerrero’s
LOL
Every fucking Thursday seeing the Prime panel ‘New Boot goofin” before the halftime show throws me into Fozz level rage.
Things I’m going to print on the 3D printer for Xmas gifts
Pentagram – for my mother in law
Bottles of bourbon – for me
Replica of Thor’s hammer – to smack my kids with during Xmas morning
Pinhead replica mask – to add spice to Xmas dinner
Dude, I look forward to the reports about your family dinners, makes me miss mine.
Well, the lineup for Thanksgiving looks to be a good one.
My sisters and mother will cry cause my dad died in October.
My sister’s husband will be fucking blind drunk. He gets quite nasty. It is a blessed experience.
His mother, who once regaled us with her first semi-lesbian experience at Christmas dinner, will be there.
Also, my sister’s sister in law – who looks like a pig – will be there. She is married to a black guy, and it’s a small blessing my dad won’t be there because his dementia caused him to say some um, pretty racist shit.
THEN we go to my sister in law’s house to hang out with the Trumper Jesus Bible Thumpers.
I’ll wear a body cam and bring back all of this to DFO.
And for your own protection as well?
Call Trump all the things your dad called your … brother in law in law?
My family dinner went from a gentle 10 persons to a gargantuan 28. I expect to be on the news next Thursday night.
A MAGA crowd that big without the big guy?
Fuck, Wilson! That guy barely touched him
What’s Groper Cleveland doing on the opposing sideline?
Two bare chested Browns fans, even though it’s November, I bet they smell like rotten entrails.
How can you tell over the stench of Cleveland?
To be fair, it’s all the same stench
It smells like burning river.
They’re the ones not on fire.
Someone was telling me about this Hundreds of Beavers movie, thinking I’ll have to check it out
Shit. That reminds me that I could still go see Anora in an hour.
If you do, let me know how it is. I’m gonna be in Chicago all next week and it’s playing at Music Box
80’s porn?
Nursing homes can be very erotic.
That’s what they’re calling the Rockette’s show this holiday season?
Hundreds of beavers and not a tail to slap.
The lesbian version of the Houston 500?
Dave Doeren’s halftime speech to his team: You know, when you were a baby in your crib, your father looked down at you, he had but one hope – “Someday, my son will grow to be a man.” Well look at you now; you just got your asses whipped, by a bunch of goddamn nerds.
[removes and throws his cap against the wall]
I expect all those that have tripled their
kidscollegefundsLas Vegas Getaway Funds to thank me for my salient advice.Porter, stop crying. You got away with 3 PIs last week.
3-0
Call it. Insurmountable lead.
NC State/GT is making me lose the will to live.
j/k, I ain’t had that since 2008-ish
The Brownies snorted ketamine before kickoff, the Stillers offense decided to mix bleach and ammonia.
A 2-2 or 4-0 are the best Scorigami we can hope for/expect.
https://nflscorigami.com/
or the eternally glorious 0-0 tie
(NAWT a scorigami, but still eternally glorious)
Reminder: Imrprove your Spanish by watching the alternate broadcast option
https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/11/21/your-thursday-night-nfl-football-open-thread-34/#comment-1186492
Oops
We returned that motherfucking 3D printer. But luckily, we ordered another one.
Jesus, just go outside and throw bottles at passing cars. That was fun when I was growing up.
We used to throw hockey pucks at cars in North Winnipeg. Nobody ever stopped because they knew. They knew.
That’s one of the most Canadian things
The only way it could get more Canadian is if they drizzled maple syrup or poutine on the pucks before throwing them.
And waste either?
I assume all the cars were on their way to the poutine shoppe
Or maybe the Mackenzie Brothers Film Festival
Silly yanks, they were on their way to the fur trapping festival.
Is that where they are showing “Hundreds of Beavers”?
i remember being about 5 years old, standing on the top of my sliding board and hucking dirt bombs at cars passing on what was a relatively busy street. well, we pegged a guy really good, he pulled over and came storming into the yard, screaming at us.
My father came out and said, “Hey, if you want to kick his ass. Go ahead.”
The guy yelled and left. Then my mother and father got in my grill. Big time.
If Tammy Reid had divorced Andy in 1990 or so and married your dad instead, Garrett would still be alive and would be a successful district attorney working closely with the city’s popular three-term mayor, Britt.
GO. THE. FUCK. DOWN. NAJEE.
you gotta unleash the nanobubbles
Cleveland Defense acting like Austin called fair catch on that play
HULK SMASH
Seems like a good game already.
FEK! HE STILL EXISTS!
I keep trying to get him to join us, but the Iowa is too strong.
We have interacted for years on Elon’s hellscape. I left there a couple weeks ago.
Gratliff is on the Bluesky though!
I definitely didn’t expect to see that in 2024. Dude’s a fucking survivor.
blast from the past
I’m thinking this’ll end 10-3?
5-4
4-2.
Slow down there, Tex. Save some of that firepower for the Bungles game.
6-4 OT. Blindside sack on Burrow with no time left.
“I sense something, a feeling I’ve not felt in…”
Yeah, that was…. Wait…. I need a non-partisan analysis. Does that ball look like it got past the goalline before Dalton got destroyed?
Kamala Harris’ Election Day evening in foobawl gif form?
The ball was out of the end zone on contact. Unfortunately, he fumbled it and then recovered it behind the line.
Ruling:
I believed Dalton did that, without even having to look back to confirm that.
Thank you.
Suits me fine
BRICK MEATHOOK UPDATE
In response to many of your requests about my condition, I still have a common cold that is, thanks to Jesus Our Lord and my lovely Mormon wife, is healing up nicely aided by OTC cough syrup, cheap vodka, opiates, and some chili.
Thank you for your support.
BUT DOES SHE HAVE UTAH HAIR?
HELL YEAH.
I insist, she obeys.
/unlike any girlfriend in my life
I think I caught a stuffy nose from you through the internet tubes
Everybody’s got it. Not the flu, not Covid, just the common cold.
I got it from drinking out of the futbol trophy 2 weeks ago, this bitch lingers.
Chili is a good idea, it cuts through the snot.
Can your wife help you figure out how to log in to The Brick Experience’s team page at long last?
And where are my manners?
Thoughts and prayers, Brick.
Thoughts – “When will he fucking log in?”
Prayers – “Please God, show this fucker the login screen”
THAT’S GREAT HUSTLE!
Can we finally shitcan the “Steelers fans travel well” narrative? People from all over America root for those assholes because they don’t have anything better to do.
I’m thinking many of them traveled to Cleveland, it’s a two hour drive.
Yeah, but to Cleveland.
But it feels like a lifetime spent in hell.
Our favorite sports bar was infested with them down in Miami, best side was that they usually spent all their time blaming and fighting with each other
RE: Winston’s onfield interview.
Don’t do all the drugs at once, son. You gotta pace yourself.
What the fuck was that?
Hey, that Water Knife book you read only because the author was Italian? Check out The Windup Girl-it’s very good.
I’ve read the Wind Up Girl, you’re right it was a solid read. A little confusing, but the Water Knife was amazing.
He says he’s 1/32 Italian, odd considering his name sounds like an extra from Goodfellas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4THH3xzQNAM
Nailed It!
— B. Walsh
Still 0-0
Is that snow in Cleveland or ash from the Lake Erie fire finally falling back to earth?
Skin particles generated from Steelers and Browns fans rubbing up against each other. All that cellulite, my lord.
Jameis. Not a smart man.
But he knows what love is.
/unfortunately his personal definition of “love” does not mesh with most states’ legal definition of the same
Florida doesn’t know what “love”, “legal”, or “definition” are.
Naval Reactors Aptitude Test
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit 4 hours. Begin immediately. Work in numerical order. Equipment remaining from question #1 may prove useful in questions #3 and #6.
1. Medicine. You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.
2. History. Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day. Concentrate especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa. Be brief, concise, and specific.
3. Public Speaking. Two thousand drug-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin and Greek.
4. Biology. Create life. Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had been created 500 million years earlier. Pay special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System.
5. Music. Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
6. Engineering. The disassembled parts of a high power rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.
7. Sociology. What sociological problems might accompany the end of the world? Construct and experiment to test your theory.
8. Management Science. Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming a Cray X-MP supercomputer supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all necessary control problems.
9. Psychology. Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustration of each: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man’s work. It is not necessary to translate.
10. Economics. Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan on these areas: Cubism, The Donatist Controversy, and the wave theory of light.
11. Epistemology. Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.
12. Classical Physics. Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
13. Modern Physics. Produce element 119. Determine its half-life.
14. Energy Resources. Construct a working fusion reactor.
15. Philosophy. Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its significance. Compare this with the development of any other kind of thought.
16. General Knowledge. Describe in detail, briefly.
17. Extra Credit. Define the universe. Give three examples.
Seems like a lot to ask of a nuclear reactor to answer all of these.
I thought he found the list a woman wanted me to complete before she would date me.
Extra Credit: Define the Universe.
The universe can be defined by tits, bourbon, and pasta.
Get it?
Fucking eggheads
Define the Universe
42
Make your own gunpowder and brass.
Glad I saw this, as I almost forgot and started Russell Wilson over Xbox Jr.
Tonight’s proposed discussion topic, in case game goes sideways.
On land sure, but my money is on a dolphin way out at sea.
Tiger/Lion vs. Bear debate aside, I’m curious how a Horse can defeat a Ram.
Same way a horse defeated Don Draper/Dick Whitman’s father – a good, solid kick to the face.
There’s no way a tiger takes out a lion.
[looks it up]
Huh. I guess they would – and have! The Romans used to match them up against each other in the Coliseum and the tigers would usually win.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYliBXXzPSQ
Evening. Was watching Dune Prophecy earlier – I like it.
Anybody else seen it yet?
I want to watch it, but my Max login was being an absolute fucking pain last night.
I go through using Amazon as the portal, always works for me.
Did the prophecy involve some sort of sand?
/asking for a fanboy
Not sure, but there is a lot of blood. And young women learning to control a men with their voices.
So…business as usual?
Good evening fellow degenerates.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmAX161Kdfs
There’s just a feeling of weirdness tonight.
Gumby and I watched that game in the bar of the William Penn hotel. We were there for a giant hotel ballroom New Years Eve party. It was a total bacchanal!
And I love the Steelers fans and their chip with the Terrible Towels. I mean, it ain’t more than it is but that’s a legit cultural attachment that’s pretty neat. Having it associated with team success is probably part of it.
RTD should get one when the Raiders finally break him in 2026 and he just needs his first win in like 13 months.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/42490881/pittsburgh-steelers-fans-not-rattled-anti-terrible-towels
If you donate the proceeds to the same school who gets the Terrible Towel money, all the better.
Is that the year HI I’M MARK DAVIS has penned in for bringing the Smartest Coach on Earth back in for another round?
I saw this in the grocery store while shopping for cough syrup.
https://ibb.co/VpfmBhk
Sens have given up the first goal for the 37th straight game.*
*this is not actually true but it feels true-ish, and that’s more important
Totally agree on the two bets. HOWEVAH, this is a trap game for the Steelers. I would not be surprised if they drop it.
They are not that good that anyone should think they would walk all over the Browns. I could see this game being a low scoring slog and Cleveland catching a break at the end to win the game.
Bullshit. Cleveland fucking sucks and Tomlin is dealing right now.
They do, but the Steelers haven’t blown anyone out. They’ve all been close games. Plus, division rival and the Steelers just beat the Ravens, which is a big rival. It’s still a tough game
Shut your whore mouth, I can haz Yinzer D in 2 lgs.
Am at kids skating (not Matt Gaetz), is it snowing?
I have them too. I’m feeling prettay good about this one!
This is either 8-5 Brownies, or like 31-6 Stillers.
Look, snow!
Is someone saying, “skiddlybiddlydowndownnowhappajibjabwokkawokka”?
You are
Fucking mini strokes.
https://ibb.co/B6LfqN1
FIRST!
/shoots self
.
That reminds me. I need to fix my avatar.
Need an ass gif?
Hey now!
Same here. Though a void of white nothingness is poetically soothing and appropriate.
shit I’m not even first. yeah I shot myself but since I’m such a lousy shot even with a shotgun in my mouth I somehow missed. I blame it on the cough syrup coupled with opiates and alcohol, along with hashish.
guess I gotta fix that ceiling now. good thing I live on the top floor.
Who are you, me playing The Last of Us?
/I missed a walker, point blank, with a shotgun. It was at this point that I ragequit and left the shooting game to Senorita Weaselo.
Rooting for the Browns. This season just gets worse every week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMRrNY0pxfM&pp=ygUfc28geW91cmUgc2F5aW5nIHRoZXJlcyBhIGNoYW5jZQ%3D%3D
Where is, “fuck supermodel”?
Just as bloody likely as the Panthers beating the Chiefs.
Let’s be honest. The Panthers upsetting the Swifts are more likely than a Bolts-Poes Double Loss and the Bengals figuring out that running the same three zone defense plays doesn’t work.