Helluiva day and I forgot.
Type away.
Editor’s Note: Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. – rtd
Senorita Weaselo made me hot chocolate. All you really need is 100% cocoa powder and unsweetened baking chocolate.
I responded by showing her old Muppet Show videos and she feels sympathy for Beaker.
meep meep meep
Welp, time for me to go save the world from some evil Elven Gods and looking fabulous whilst killing their minions.
-Andy Reid eternal war vs Keebler
Breaking news: Fantasy football is no longer stupid and dumb
Counterpoint:
https://youtu.be/-ZrrWj_y3Mc?si=Zrt2l6kGUvLyiAjA
Always an excellent bit
yeah did this once during a team scrum meeting where we estimate our work for things, no one had seen the bit cept one person but still they were amused(wondering what demon possessed me)
How do you mens avoid being testerical all the time, what with all the hormones and such? How can I be supportive?
Thanks to that Edward’s TD, I am officially 1-12. Fucking auto draft.
Oof
You may prefer someone else, I won’t bicker;
But when I need a FG, I go with Cameron Dicker!
Dicker? I barely know her!
You know that booze shop that runs the card game in the stock room? Liquor in the front, poker in the back
Dicker the Kicker!
Can’t think of any other rhymes beyond liquor (and bicker which you already used)
Sicker, Quicker, Ticker, Wicker, Slicker, Picker
the obvious Dicker the Thicker
Flicker. Clicker. Nicker. Sticker.
So yes, my brain broke and y’all came with many excellent options. Woo!
If Cameron lines up for a FG, and it is tipped/blocked back to him, let’s say he catches it/picks it up and somehow runs for a TD…
would we call it a Dickerdown?
BLEERGH vs Ratbirds
est. 2000
they got the hatred from the refs down pat, now if they just add a bunch of steroids theyll be the new age 1970s oakland raiders
Fantasy football is stupid and dumb
That fucking Quentin Johnston has given me zero fantasy points. I won my game, but my score is pitiful. Love was the only one in double digits.
I could use Will Dissly getting a few more points.
Unsubscribe
I can’t imagine three worse hours than the Dylan movie starring Chalamet.
Applying bronzer to Donald Trump’s entire naked body. Several coats.
Ew
Yeah, I’ve got nothing against Chalamet but a Bob Dylan biopic seems like an abomination to me.
Cris and Jac Collinsworth Red Zone Takeover
Ladd McConkey is a good lad, apparently.
It’s what he was born to be
Well, that plus concussed.
I miss Ed Reed being high as fuck on the manningcast. That was great
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHUpK6Iq1DM
Hope they have Laremy Tunsil one day
http://dolphinstruth.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Untitled-1.gif
it is almost that time again, to sit back, crack open a cold one, and be right about the chargers for the 30th season in a row
Ravens fans now mad at referees for denying them a chance to be mad at referees
*Ravens fans are now mad*
That’s really all you needed.
i mean the inspiration for the team name was an author who was genuinely mentally ill ppl forget that
So they just put up the roller rink at the Oculus, and this year it’s sponsored by Sonic the Hedgehog 3.
Listen, I don’t know why it’s sponsored by a 30-year old video game and I’m pretty sure Shadow isn’t in it, but you do you I guess.
/Other joke: Still no confirmation about whether you can lock on the Knuckles TV show to your Sonic movie experience to get you Sonic 3 & Knuckles.
The Ravens are all over the place, how did they lose to the Raiders and now they’re blowing out the best defense in the league? More schitzo than your average bird
What you got against British women?
Her brief stint as a dental hygenist in Sussex.
Belichick said something about sloppy penalties or something.
By extension the attitude that allows sloppy penalties
Oh shit, I just realized I haven’t been watching the Manningcast. For some reason I thought it was Thursday, then I rushed into putting the game on through the emulator and didn’t even think to change the stream. Was also other stuff going on, but didn’t even think to switch later. Oh well. Will switch now, better late than never
Those were some great gummies!
Mannincast in Canada is PPV, so… no.
The Mrs texted me earlier from the movies: Data and Marshawn Lynch are in a movie together!
And I was all “Brent Spiner AND Marshawn! Fuck yea!”
Then I looked it up and saw it was Ke Huy Quan and Lynch as I was all “Fuck yea!”
Quentin Johnston has frying pan hands.
[Kansas City’s general manager perks up, envisioning a potential solution to the team’s flapjack shortage]
Well fuck. I think I need advice but not even sure what or how to ask. I’m just gonna have a bourbon and watch the rest of this game
No, you can’t wear your bathrobe to work every day.
Bullshit, can and have and will
She is a Doktorb, folks.
I work from home and I absolutely do.
BATHROBES4EVAH
That’ll be my prison tattoo
Whiskey is always a good start
There’s no such thing as “too crunk.”
Pirate Sloth, Mayo, and Dok can verify that isn’t true
Nah, if you’re implying you got too crunk at the game I would say you were still well within the acceptable crunk boundaries. No vomit, cops, or wheelchairs involved so not even close really
No, a wooodchuck WOULD chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck COULD chuck wood.
This feels right, woodchucks are hedonists, we all know it even if it isn’t PC to say it
I like to think of them as bon vivants. Boulevardiers. It sounds classier than party animals
Just picturing a woodchuck with a martini, long cig holder, and a dashing fez
Tuxedo. No, white dinner jacket!
https://youtu.be/k6hZ9KdG1QU?t=40
Here’s my advice: don’t do it. On the other hand, do it. No need to thank me, glad I could help!
I will! Cheers!
Touchdown Seahawks!
Derrick Henry is back for a back? Odd that Joe Buck is just mentioning that now in the 4th
Enough of this professional football nonsense. Today is a spacial day, as is the ways of my people. Live action, boots on the ground flag football at its finest. The annual holiday Turkey Bowl pitting the Brigades officers against the NCOs. That fucker is always entertaining. Plus it might rain today… let’s pray for a muddy field folks.
CASEVAC is standing by for Dustoff.
They always lay some poor mofo out.
I lost Gumby’s wedding ring in a muddy field while he was playing a game of flag football in Scotland.
Present company not included, but of note, liquored up wives and girlfriends on the sidelines adds wonderfully to the atmosphere.
Oh hell yes, we were hammered! It was cold and rainy, but tons of fun!
Danny Dimes has reportedly “eliminated” the Raiders from consideration, signing-wise.
Goddamn, Rikki, that’s really humiliating.
The Raiders are hoping to get Tommy Cutlets in the offseason, he seems a better fit.
Danny apparently would prefer to play for a play-off contender, (is a thing I legitimately saw on the teevee device earlier today); the problem with that being, of course, that anyone in play-off contention is probably not looking to add a walking turnover to the roster.
Maybe if Geno or Tua get hurt.
“Just how big is this ‘walking turnover’ you speak of, and what type of filling?”
-Andy Reid, distracted by the sign on top of Randy’s Donuts
“Walking turnover???”
“Utah! Get me two!”
Main target should be the Falcons to fleece them like Kirk Cousins did
Danny agent
Kind of blows a hole in my kharacterization of him as an EDM-fueled hedonist.
It’s the third quarter and I can’t believe this is the first time they brought up the Harbaugh’s are brothers.
Wait…they ARE?
Which one played basketball in college?
Next you’ll tell me their Dad coached football, too.
Pfft!
Is the sound cutting out, or are players saying some naughty words?
– Evander Holyfield
Fuck it! I’m throwin it deep!
Sometimes that dragon’s needs unleashed.
.
The Spirit of Rivers Floats On
Each of these guys will need to have about eight more kids for that to be true.
Jesus, when Harbaugh looks at a map with those ridiculous fucking glasses, he probably sees people waving at him.
Just as long as they cover the vig.
Have the Rolling Stones killed.
I added reeses cups to my oreo blizzard tonight.
Shank’lor fears the Dicker
Is Troy having a clear thought day, or has Collinsworth gotten so bad that Troy sounds good in comparison?
You’re not watching the Manningcast? Bill Belichick is a genuinely great guest.
Arrgh see you in rot in Cris Collinsworth’s locker before I cast a game or date a woman in their 2nd half
Ok, so what’s that all about? Is this on YouTube or something?
I legitimately don’t know
We would have to subscribe to TSN + to get it or as our friend the Pirate Sloth says fire up the VPN and arrrrghhhh
Its a simulcast for moremost MNF on ESPN2 with PeyPey, Lil Eli and Bill in first half and “special” guests in 2nd half.
Herbert sure can SLING IT.
Bateman killing it
I had something for this…
https://doorfliesopen.com/2024/01/26/the-rules-of-play-action/
To fully understand Twisters, do I need to watch Twister first?
Yes. Twice, actually.
And then watch Sister, Sister
Then go watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
I’ll wait for Balls’ suggestions for the porn parodies of all these titles.
Fister, Fister
Chtitty Chitty Gang Bang just writes itself!
If you don’t stop that, you’ll get a blister
…and once in the morning…
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/0ee39020-6282-449e-ac6d-8f3dfeea817c
Marc Trestman is not just a senior offensive assistant. He also provides input on what glasses coaches should wear on game day.
So fucking creepy.
But what does he coach?
Little kids, on how to keep this just between us…
Marc Trestman is still employed!?! Hide your kids, LA
https://youtu.be/7eKe21TMN7k?si=0g2tDud8J6FlukK7
Are we going to get sued by the onion/Infowars now?
It’s not our fault Tomlin Voodoo is real, and whatever Lowratio has done is past the statute of limitations…
Plus I left no no witnesses.
Scotchy didn’t see nuthin….
I spent most of this summer hoping Miami wouldn’t sign King Henry because he was on the wrong side of 30. I think I may have been wrong on that one
Just a little
I still don’t think he fits Tua/McDaniel – that offense needs backs with “wiggle” and pass-catching ability.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tr_H6jBEiE
ghost of Al Davis possessing Miami with a shift to RBs instead of WRs
He doesn’t fit, but signing King Henry to force Miami to go full penetration up the middle would have been hot
I would prefer to listen to the screams of my family trapped inside a burning house than to listen to a Cris Collinsworth football broadcast.
But something I’d prefer to listen to even more would be the screams of Cris Collinsworth trapped inside a burning house.
“….sorry, sir… uh, phone’s…. -out… ple….ack…”
— other WCS
“Who let the air out of all of the tires on our trucks?” – a confused fireman, that same evening
We’d all be outside yelling “shut up, Cris”
[furiously hammers mute button on remote control I had in my pocket for some reason]
“Shoot at the fire! It’s our only chance of putting it out!”
That MNF ad just made me an incel.
Bill originally had a twin, but he killed and consumed it in the womb.
shudder what would be the Belichick Dark Half
Well, he would have been old enough to lead men during all the post-Tito Yugoslav wars, so I can imagine.
“Well he was technically a blastocyst. And delicious. But not really my brother. So…”
Dobbins’s hometown!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSt4myecN_c
Jim’s spectacles make him look like was on the short bus as a child.
[watches Google’s Gemini ad]
Pfft. Whatever. I’ve had schizophrenia since before it was cool.
Too Many Harbs
It’s a Harbinger.
https://ibb.co/z7NNtQp
https://ibb.co/XbKtcMX
Is there a red string?
I am no mathlete but that doesn’t look like 500 words.
Fixed it.
But what were the passersbys amazed about?
(Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood)⁵⁰
Also not a mathlete!
(looks up tonight’s MNF teams)
I second forgetting Monday Night Football exists this week and move on to Week 13.
You had one job, Scotchy!
OK, maybe two. Wait, no, three. Still, no excuses.
Hope everything’s ok Scotchy!
His monthly quicklime delivery was delayed?
Energy Vampires will be the death of me. There’s one person lying and trying to sow as much chaos as possible.
Try the Stalin method. Kill everyone and start over.