I always lose track of the days during the holidays because my boring-ass, rigid schedule gets all mucked up. That’s what I’m going with rather than “Early-Onset Alcohol-Induced Dementia”. [Awkward segue music] What are the odds of this being a stinker? Like Armed and Hammered current status, “HIGH!”.
Food-wise I’ve got some lovely things going on-I roasted two gifted ducks (and a partridge in a pear tree) for the fat alone, mostly. That’s going to be for the roasted Taytos and there’s a prime rib that’s doing a low and slow dance. Wifey, boys and I have eaten so much lately that there’s not much more than that, (I did the ‘old-timey vampire’ noise when offered some fresh fruit this morning) maybe a veggie but I make no promises!
To The Game!
Seahawks/Bears:
-I get the notion that these teams are headed in different trajectories but we won’t see it until next year. I’m thinking Seattle down and Chicago up. Of course a bunch of things need to happen-namely, the latter have to draft heavily on defense and sign a key free agent. Seattle? I think they’re bound together with string and feathers, myself. The thought of four good teams in the NFC North would make for that many more fantastic games. The Downside? An absolute shit ton of old NFL Films footage from the Sixties every ninety minutes.
-There’s a “Caleb Is Struggling” Narrative that is out there because he has made some mistakes under the glare of featured games. Can we take a step back please? Jayden Daniels is the cock of the walk among rookie qb’s but he’s got just 32 more passing yards, 3 more TD’s and 3 more INT’s than that other signal-caller. And of course dumb-ass writers ascribe a team’s success to the qb so Williams comes up short. (just like Kyler, amirite?)
-The Bears had a top 10 pass defense back in November. That’s no longer the case-now they’re 28th. JSN might have a day.
Enjoy.
What the fuck!
LOL
Accidental Bearsdown
Aw, it’s nawt nice to tease the poor Bears fans
Sudden Change
Back at it again; already an apartment building has smoking from a laundry room exterior vent. Let’s see where the holiday break takes us…
Lint fire!
Only fridged 2 German beers, so now I’m drinking a nine month old Guinness I found in the back of the icebox. What could go wrong?
Nein-thing
That’s nawt that old for a stout
Yeah, it’s fine. Was hoping to get poisoned and skip work tomorrow.
Have you considered lying about being poisoned?
Idea: what if the offense recovering a fumble meant you recovered a down? So recover a fumble on 3rd down means you get 2nd down. Could get teams intentionally fumbling to try and recover which could be some fun chaos
What happens if it happens on first down?
Also, what about the fumble going out of bounds. Think the current rule is the last so touch it gets possession, but there’s prob exceptions
You just get another first down, even if you didn’t get 10 yards
Think it would have to be a clear recovery in-bounds to get the down advantage, too easy to fumble and have it immediately roll out
If there is a Derrick Taylor in the league, is there a Lawrence Brooks to be his nemesis?
Just Geno being Geno
Stoned at the line of scrimmage? I should have a gummy!
Out of all the issues with The Last Jedi, my personal favorite is them showing that a bullet the size of a ship fired at a larger ship at a speed accelerating to a speed faster than the speed of light would only slice the ship in half and create no damage to the ship or surroundings due to any shockwaves created from Octillion Newtons of Force.
Tachyons have imaginary mass so maybe?
RFK also thinks poppers cause AIDS
The “Fanatics stole Christmas” thread is outstanding in advertising how bad modern merch deals are.
https://x.com/darkostatenews/status/1872347429200441458?s=46&t=PW7uhN0VcbqYk6td-CFrLA
Might as well get a knockoff for the same quality at a better price
Chinese seconds are better than Indonesian firsts.
My Aaron Rogders jersey nods in agreement
/got it like 10 years ago
//only wear it during my ff drafts
UPDATE: Superb Owl LIX will be LAC vs LAR at SoFi Stadium. Pregame show will be USC vs UCLA. All teams wear home colors. Every cheerleader squad in Los Angeles County (high school thru pro) is on the sidelines. All national TV commercials are for L.A. dive bars. Halftime show is Red Hot Chili Peppers wearing nothing but socks.
We’ve already won the World Series, and more importantly, the MLS Cup, so this tracks.
I’m drunk enough that every sentence even close to critical of the Seahawks will be replied to with: your mom is [insert their critical comment]!
Because I’m still 12
“Are you drinking like a twelve-year-old?”
– Prince Andrew
Oh fun! The Seahawks play football like a 60 year old woman!
(my mother is in her mid 70s)
Fine then!
Your mom is like a 60 year old woman!
The 12th man thing is just marketing for jersey sales
“Defensive Battle” is a very generous description of this first half, Charissa.
Personally I’m more offended than anything else.
WineWife wants to know if Charissa has an eating disorder.
Al Michaels is PRAYING for the modern equivalent of Morgana the Kissing Bandit.
At this point, Bane blowing up the stadium and enslaving the city of Chicago would be an improvement, based on the score alone.
Goddammit DK
I am le tired
What did he say about Metcalf’s momma?
Schiano Men apparently still dive at the O-line’s legs when the other team’s in victory formation.
Christ, what an asshole.
I don’t think asshole is strong enough. Herpes-ridden asshole maybe
You associating it with that? What did Herpes do to you?!
checking them for MRSA
Of course it’s holding, Caleb wouldn’t get that off otherwise
Chicago’s cheese heavy holiday meals have only delayed the Bearsenschiesse.
It’ll be spectacular when it all comes out
No hurdle for you
Thursday football. Drink it in.
So much Thursday
They’re really putting the “foot” back in “football”.
In England Thursday Night Punting means Thursday Night Gambling ppl forget that.
Punters don’t punt, they have flutters
“I don’t understand any of these terms, but I’m in for $20. Thousand.” – Shohei Ohtani
It’s all here—fast-kickin’, low scorin’. and maybe a tie
Me: “I missed the 1st Quarter? Oh, well. No point in turning on the game now.”
Amazon & NFL: “Actually there is plenty of football for you to-”
Me “I said ‘No point in turning on the game now.’!”
Super Special Boxing Day Meal Update:
I roasted the fuck out of the duck, the Taytos were good, prime rib was adequate-both boys were with friends, wifey started her diet three hours before everything was ready out of the oven and I drank so much scotch that I had no appetite for anything other than more scotch. So magical.
Weird time to start a diet, isn’t that new years day territory?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe the Canadian calendar starts on Dec 26th as it is based on the migratory patterns of the goose.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qLkhx0eqK5w
DJ Moore, DJ Moore
I have taken shits more interesting than this “game”
The Rate Bowl is doing great!
It’s not guaranteed this year?
ad wizards must have preferred the MYSTERY
That’s what I get for turning teevee box off
“Hey, why wasn’t I invited to the…oh, *rate* bowl. Never mind.” – Deshaun Watson
No! I choose life, choose a job, choose a career, choose a family, choose a fucking big television…
No demon baby on the ceilings though.
I mean, you gotta be impressed with the neck flexibility.
The real father is that owl from the tootsie pop commercials
If you don’t want your heroin we have other clubhouse members who will happily take it off your hands
SRSLY!!!
Oh good, a preview of the mr beast show. Nope, still don’t give even a fraction of a shit
I still don’t know who he is. I just know enough that I don’t wish to know any further.
Also, just broke into the Costco German beer collection I got from Santa.
First one’s a Dunkel. By the end of this I’ll be blitzkrieging my scahdenfreude.
It will be a kuddelmuddel!
If you drink too many you’ll lose the battle of the bulge
That battle was over long ago, very one-sided.
WATCH OUT, Alsace-Lorraine!
You’ll be all set for Krampus Schlapp!
Cava and Detroit-style pizza, I’m pretty happy with my holiday meal
Reminder, it’s only called Cava if it’s from the Cava region of France.
Shakes fist from Canadia.
I wasn’t paying attention to what I grabbed out of the fridge, so it’s actually a cremant de Bordeaux anyway
Ah yes, fine Italian vintage
Back on the list eh?
Geography students like Spam are why WCS switched to a less stressful career.
Bears win is good for RAMMMMMMMIT. What’s it like to count on the Bears? Difficult?
LAC vs LAR Superb Owl. Move it to SoFi. Pregame is USC vs UCLA.
why did they stop running? They know Geno is quartered backing
Rookie oc. No better than the last disaster there.
Scotch club carol
“Scotch Club Carol” comes in last place in the AVN awards.
Well yeah, it’s a waste of good scotch to lick it off a dick, that’s more of a bourbon thing
/writes “bourbon mixes with cock better than scotch” in notebook
Goddammit Geno.
Oh, a Genoception is a’ coming.
This is just too alliterative to ever stop being true. Also it’s Geno, and we all know that when you’re a Jet you’re a Jet
https://ibb.co/GMqjRWd
Hopefully we get a documentary on Skyline chili.
Delicious.
Good to see Jeckyl & Hyde getting some work.
Oh, I guess I could have gone to this game. Not super disappointed I didn’t think of it
They’d probably let you walk in for a palmed fiver now.
Eh, I would have to put pants on, doesn’t seem worth it
#NotWrong
Based on the current status of the game, you could not have been more right.
Amazingly I suspected it might turn out like this
https://i.giphy.com/5YhFFUFq6ZTry.webp
Damn you webp links!
We’re doing Christmas dinner tomorrow due to work schedules, so brine and cranberry sauce made yesterday, so they could cool. Turkey now in the salt bath until tomorrow afternoon. I’m sure we’ve forgotten something but stores are open tomorrow so less pressure to have everything on hand already.
Can’t wait for the panic cooking and cleaning that will happen before dinner. And then all the food gone in under an hour with a huge mess to clean up after.
ah the memories, hope ya have the next day off at least
Off until the 6th.
/Humblebrag
That’s keeping the important part of the holidays alive.
Update: the leftover turkey is delicious.
The Morrison Hotel in downtown L.A. (famous from a Doors album cover) burned down today.
https://ibb.co/XtTdRTs
https://ibb.co/XtTdRTs
Second image was supposed to be:
https://ibb.co/XSzKz1B
How sad.
It was either an itinerant SRO hobo fell asleep smoking in bed or it was arson by the owner for insurance/redevelopment.
I’m guessing the second if it’s still a SRO
I’ll also put my money on that option.
Number 2! What did I win?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm8-aGdvSDE&list=PLnif9Rfb5AdlYm34Bnot754aQKAYv8rdM&index=6
That sucks. This is still one of my old man’s favorite songs by anyone.
I love that song too.
I like Peace Frog. Hoping for some blood in the streets very soon.
https://youtu.be/22GEvDupWGo?si=L_JadgKVPs2kFaBl
Horatio doesn’t live too far away from New Haven, perhaps he can help!
Is it now the Blair Witch Hotel?
I am happy to see that Schiano Man’s East German steroids bulk is turning into old man fat. He’ll have a full rack of tits next bowl season.
“I heard ‘full rack’…”
He could still make a nice roast out of Schiano, it’s still good! It’s still good!
He’s not still salty – Richard Sherman, when asked on the pregame what Pete Carroll could bring to Chicago as their head coach: “Pete doesn’t need a star quarterback to win games. Look what he did with Russell Wilson and Geno Smith…”
Iron sharpens iron.
I made pot roast tonight, looking forward to quality terlet/booky-book time tomorrow.
Incidental: I’m reading the Horus Heresy books. The first two were pretty good but the third has taken an interesting, potentially complex villain (a potential anti-hero, even) and turned him into a cartoonishly evil supervillain. I think after this one I’ll move on to Christopher Moore. I’ve got:
A Dirty Job
Coyote Blue
Fluke
Fool
Island of the Sequined Love Nun
Lamb
Which one should I start with?
Read them in chronological order.
/Has not read a single Christopher Moore book
// YET
I read A Dirty Job last night, in one sitting. Good stuff!
I would read them chronologically. They are self -contained, but it’s interesting to see the writer’s progression. At least it is for a nerd like me .
Lamb is his best work.
It’s a testament to my spectacular lack of interest in the future of the NFL that I have absolutely no idea who you might be talking about.
https://www.espn.com/college-football/game/_/gameId/401677180/pitt-toledo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjJFZEhbsc8
Who?
Which of the two QBs should I start today for Freezer Vodka bronze?
Whichever one we don’t pick
Geno. HOX!!!
I also have no clue which day of the week it is. Would have guessed today was Monday
My aunt suggested going to a particular spot for early dinner.
“But they’re closed Mondays.” — her
“Today’s Thursday.” — me
“No, it’s Monday… Oh, no it isn’t!” — her
Jokes’ on all of you. IT IS MONDAY FOR THIS YINZER BITCH
Heaux -3.5
Chardonnay TD
Swift TD.
I could use a whole barrel of Chardonnay!