Sexy Friday – 20250110

TGIF! Half the country is burning, the other freezing, and I’m stuck here with only clouds and rain.  *pokes Mt. Rainer* Do something!

Survival – Personal Edition

Let’s talk about champagne. Specifically, opening a bottle of said champagne. First lesson, don’t do this:

That’s wasting champagne and removing the carbonation from what’s left. Here’s how to properly open a bottle.

  • First, angle the bottle away from yourself and others. No one needs to lose an eye here.
  • Use the thumb on your non-dominant hand to press down on the cage and cork. With some bottles, that cork will pop out as soon as the cage is loosened.
  • Remove the wire cage. Fun fact, all cages open up after exactly 6 clockwise half turns. That’s 3 full turns for you math nerds. Remove the cage.
  • Place an opened cloth napkin over the cork. Hold the neck of the bottle in your non-dominant hand and again apply pressure to the cork with your thumb.
  • Use your dominant hand to turn the bottle clockwise while pressing on the cork. Do not try to turn the cork as you’re more likely to break it.
  • As the cork begins to come out, keep pressure on the cork. This will prevent it from flying out.
  • Hold the cork at the mouth of the bottle for a few seconds. Any champagne that bubbles up will react to the cork and recede, so there won’t be any spills.
  • Now remove the cork and pour. When pouring, pour slow and fill to 2/3 full. Stop and let the mousse recede, the fill back up to 2/3 full.

Now drink and enjoy. Celebrate whatever you’re celebrating while sipping on still properly carbonated champagne.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Redshirt

Okay, who replaced the dead batteries in Ryan Day’s headset?!

Brick Meathook

I’m scheduled to fly back in to LAX on Monday evening. I’m wondering if I should delay it.

How smoky is Playa del Rey? I need an actual eyewitness account, so if one of you guys can go over there and get a look for me I’d appreciate it. Do it soon because I’ll need to change my ticket ASAP, so let’s get on this.

On the other hand, the final approach should be pretty cool since I got a starboard window seat and the view should be spectacular.

ballsofsteelandfury

I was at Sawtelle and also in Brentwood today. It was not smoky at all. However, the wind had shifted onshore and thus everything was headed north.

This is also why The Valley is now in danger.

The view, however, should be spectacular. The sunset tonight was stunning.

2Pack

I am here to give lady number 8 a real ride.

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2Pack

Grazie Mr Ayo solid job as usual.

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Gumbygirl

I managed to get out of jury duty without having to sob and beg. The pre-trial festivities start Monday, and I have a confirmed doctor’s appointment, so neener! I was stuck in Indio all afternoon though before I was excused. I’m really glad to get out of it, the trial is expected to go to the end of the month, and it’s achild molestation charges Multiple. . No thank you very much, I don’t need that horror show right now, or ever, for that matter

ballsofsteelandfury

Did you treat yourself to a date shake afterwards?

LemonJello

I don’t see how an evening with Micheal J. Fox is going to help her.

SonOfSpam

oh you motherfucker i spit beer out, honest-to-goodness actual beer

SonOfSpam

To be specific:

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WCS

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Gumbygirl

He would make a very popular Mormon fella, the soaking would be more fun for everybody!

Gumbygirl

I should have! I have to go drop off some shred tomorrow morning in Palm Springs, there’s a little market on Indian Canyon that has great ones. Maybe I’ll stop there after, it’s on the way home. Assuming the road is open, that’s always the first one to close when it’s windy. It’s also the fastest route to the hospital from DHS, which is unfortunate.

SonOfSpam

“Stuck In Indio” sounds like a Wim Wenders movie

ballsofsteelandfury

Or Mexico’s nominee for Best International Feature at the AVNs

Brocky

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SonOfSpam

wellness check on redshirt please and thank you

Redshirt
Redshirt

Alright, I’m back from giving my dad his PM pills and…

…I think its about time for my medicine now. (reaches for liquor bottle)

Gumbygirl

Don’t panic! All is well!!!

Brocky

Also, don’t mix the two!

SonOfSpam

As a doctor (of Being a Drunk), my advice is to take much.

Bogdanski

100 ccs of freezer vodka, STAT

rockingdog

Found a funny:

In our modern age of information overload it’s hard to know whether something is accurate. That’s why you should plug it into a chatbot developed by a billionaire or outsource your thinking to an online personality named like Doctor Truth

blaxabbath

Thank goodness for Facebook links. How did people ever know what was going on in their lives before reading about it on the toilet?

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Gatoraids

ruining lives like they ruined the newspaper

To Simpler Times
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I did subscribe to the print Onion after they bout Infowars, and did get a print newspaper for first time in decades and enjoyed the experience

ballsofsteelandfury

#2 & #4 this week. Dayum!

Gumbygirl

Hey, I got my keychain on Tuesday,thank you! It matches my purple key for Big Bear. I’m calling it Barney Butt. You didn’t have to spring for Priority, small things can go first class and get there just as fast. Oh my God, that may be the most Boomer thing I’ve ever said, lol!

ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome!! I’m glad you like it!

Brocky

The duality of Elisha

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King Hippo

No clean sheet, Hippo can go to sleepytown. TV wasn’t on, but I can quit checking score.

Redshirt

I have OSU wins Outright and Ohio State -6. No sleepy for Redshirty.

LemonJello

Are we going to have to declare the Championship game MANDATORY?

King Hippo

THEEEEEE will beat the Unspeakables by 10. Refs will keep them vaguely in the game.

Don T

Mandatory means nfl!
/throws loose aluminum foil in lieu of gauntlet

Redshirt

Yes! My Prop Bet is still alive!

Oh, and yay, Bucks.

Brocky

Uncle eli does not approve

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rockingdog

At the bar with Buckeye LadyFriend
Hope this game is ROCKING!!!!

King Hippo

Halftime bar bathroom sex, DO IT!!!!

Gatoraids

Hope this stall is ROCKING!!!!

King Hippo

I mean, let ’em know you been there smgdh

Redshirt

“Wanna go celebrate with my buckeyes?”

LemonJello

HARF HARF THE BEN APPROVES!

Brocky

Uncle eli approves!

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LemonJello

Herbstreit must have a cliche bonus in his contract.

Don T

And cliche anus in his butt. 😀 It’s even better in written form!

clint greasewood

Will Quinn Ewers be a Cleveland Brown?
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SonOfSpam

Needs a mustache.

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King Hippo

#ThePauls

rockingdog

That would be Rocking!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THESE PASSES IN THIS COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF I CALL THEM HOME INSURANCE CUSTOMERS IN PACIFIC PALISADES LAST FALL BECAUSE THEY KEEP GETTING DROPPED.

LemonJello

Did Herbstreit attend the Collinsworth Broadcasting School? This guy will not shut the fuck up.

Jimbo

He needs to switch to decaf.

Gatoraids

I believe hemlock is decaf, so yes

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here, add some of this nightshade as garnish, it really kicks it up a notch.

scotchnaut

THE Ohio State player injured! [clutches his Nike cleats for comfort]

Brocky

So there’s a report that the Arizona cardinals are sending 777 planes to help transport rams personnel to Glendale.

Why a pro football teams needs over 700 planes is beyond me though

blaxabbath

Mike Bidwill has two of them.

For hauling his family’s zero Lombardi Trophies.

Brocky

The notion that one is specific for gay sex orgies implies that there’s one for non gay sex orgies.

The further implication being that that the non gay orgy crowd is worried about diseases from the gay orgy crowd

Brocky

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Jimbo

Jack Handey is what got Robert Kraft in trouble.

Bogdanski

His sexuality aside

King Hippo

The only drama is whether THEEEEE can keep the clean sheet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Pfft. Imagine an Ohio State graduate with clean sheets.” – that OSU graduate’s mother, whom he lives with

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Redshirt

Pfft. Imagine an Ohio State graduate.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, done. What next?

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LemonJello

The Vice President-elect in his younger days?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Before your time?

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Jimbo

Clean Sheets?

Jimbo

I’m sure they have some laying around.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If only he’d been able to pick that back up and take it to the house, it would have been one of the greatest punt returns ever.

blaxabbath

Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about but I can tell by context that it isn’t JJ Reddick.

Don T

I really feel for ya, LA folks. Hang tight, trust narcotics.

Redshirt

Texas can air their Radio Broadcast with a live shot because they are both ESPN networks, but Big Ten Network can’t do that with Ohio State’s Radio Broadcast because that wouldn’t be fair.

Game Time Decision

No one needs to lose an eye here.

So now uncorking is a sport

Don T

I’m easy for chanpers talk! Bubbly cork rotater here, though. Has worked fine. Remove cage with teeth before #Obvio

Unsurprised

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Brocky

It’s so bizarre to me how I went so long not realizing how great her ass is

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s awesome how you know exactly who that is just by looking at her ass.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Skin tone helps. And she does seem to be the consensus “it” girl right now.

ballsofsteelandfury

The hilarious part is I, of all people, don’t know who that is.

Brocky

#2 and #3 for me

I’m gonna see if I can add some texts to #4, especially for balls

scotchnaut

There’s a bulge in Redshirt’s PJ’s.

Redshirt

Don’t start what you can’t finish, Scotchnaut.

WCS

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I saw Nick Kroll (guy on the right) at the park just a few weeks ago. We were all like “Wait, was that…?”

Last edited 2 hours ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
King Hippo

did you yell FOREVER UNCLEAN!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah, he was doing dad stuff with his little kid. We all gawked a little but we didn’t accost him otherwise.

scotchnaut

I didn’t say it was big.