Was this my pick for most low-key entertaining game of the weekend? Why would I bring it up if it wasn’t? Why am I typing this at all? (side-eyes the word counter)
To The Game!
Commies/Bucs:
-Fireworks Alert: Right here we’ve got two top five scoring offenses (Tampa 4th, Washington 5th) vs two below-averages defenses. Veags has set the point total (highest of the weekend) at 50.5. Tampa’s record vs the over this season is 12-5.
-Rookie to Keep an Eye On: Not that one, this one-wr Jalen McMillan scored at least one TD the last five games of the season to finish with seven total in those tilts.
-The big concern when previous OC Dave Canales left for the Carolina job (oh woe is him) was that the progress made with Mayfield would backslide. Well, take your hat off to Liam Cohen, who stepped in and has done such a good job that his name is being floating around in the coaching cycle.
-Baker has a total of 16 INT’s so far (to go along with 41 TD’s) but only three in his last four games.
-Up and Down: Washington has on its CV a midseason four game losing streak as well as a five game win streak to close out the year.
-As a coach Dan Quinn sports a fantastic 18-19 record as an underdog-that’s not against the spread, that’s winning outright.
-Tampa has averaged just under 32 points since the bye and they’re 6-1 during that time.
-Tampa’s win record includes victories over Detroit, the Commies, the Chargers and the Eagles. They’ve also had close losses to the Chiefs and Ravens.
-Bucky Irving Alert: Of all the teams in the playoffs Washington has the worst run defense, coming in at 30th. Tampa’s entire backfield has averaged over five yards a carry to close out the season.
-Let’s see how the Commies backfield is holding up. Oh my. Over their last four games they’re averaging 2,2 ypc. Ouch.
Have at it.
Can we all patt ourselves on the butt for giving Redshirt good advice and a double patt to Redshirt for cashing out?
Indeed. You’re welcome coward, I mean, Redshirt.
Look, what happens every time a redshirt takes a risk on Star Trek?
They provide me much entertainment!
I was thinking the same thing! Thanks for bailing my cowardly ass out!
So far so good so sure this is all gonna go wrong but I think that’s just a reflex from the bad times
Kurt Warner finally getting the 2 for 2 supercut with his wife
Touchbacks- so exciting we decided to do it twice!
Is there any other country in the world that would invite something like fried chicken soup?
It can cure a cold and give you colon cancer!
China, but with fried chicken feet
Japan at Christmas?
20-20, 4 minutes left
one coach knows of no risk assessment on 4th down
the other quarterback used to be on the browns
result: who cares. the one good game is because everybody’s a dipshit. man, this weekend has sucked. none of these jabronis are beating detroit or kansas city. hit simulate until the championship games
I will send you a mini butt of your choice if either Detroit or KC gets to the Super Bowl.
They’re going to get eliminated.
both should. both suck. but i have no faith in any team ive seen thus far besides baltimore (but LOL their fuckin recent history)
I’m thinking Baltimore and Philly
BIRD BOWL SQUAWKDOWN!
If that happens Dok, we win our bet.
At Least one of those two is guaranteed to go to the Super Bowl.
I just realized our color commentators have been Romo, Brady then Collinsworth.
What did we do to deserve that?
The Mute button is RIGHT THERE
Or SAP
Marky Mark really really really cannot pull off the Capt Picard bald head look.
Is he not giving you good vibrations?
Nor the sweet sensations.
Or act.
Or convince my neighbor to keep dating him after she met her current husband.
/pulls up chair
OK, I’m going to need you to expand on that.
I don’t have that great of a recollection of the story since it was probably 1 a.m. by that point and we’d been drinking since sundown. But apparently she dated him for a while and claims to have introduced him to Jeremy Piven (thus inflicting the plague of Entourage upon the world). But she dropped him for her current husband, which is quite cromulent because he is tall and has a British accent.
I love how you keep saying “current” with the implication that, at some point, it will be “ex”.
I hope not! I like them both and they have a ten year-old daughter.
/Matt Gaetz has entered the chat
I know this may be controversial, but he’s a terrible actor and a worse human being.
20-20 and receiving the kick?
Dan Quinn calls this Four-Down Territory.
Premature Snapulation?
Hah!
That was the best run blitz in the history of mankind!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6n_uEemcCs&pp=ygUSYnVmZmV0IGNhcnZpbmcgZ3V5
“Why don’t ya head back to your seat so I can see ya shake your tailfeather, ya juicy bitch” and now I have a new thing to say at work
Did that DB choose the jersey number zero because that is his Open Field Tackle rating?
I only remember the 2005 game because of Chris simms lodging a football into one of the cannon’s
9+ minutes left? So at least 2 more lead changes I assume.
dan quinn to go for it 3 more times
He wants to be Dan Campbell when he grows up!
*angry gym teacher
Go, commies, go!
– The United States during the seige of Stalingrade
Two proud franchises?
Cris, one of these teams is Tampa Bay.
And the other was owned by dan snyder
Both franchise cities are also familiar with whores.
Then there is far too much pride in these two franchises.
GO FOR IT QUINN!
Holy shit!
I haven’t seen an exchange that fucked up since I tried to cash in my credit card miles for flight credit.
Baker fumbled 15 times and only lost two? Andy Reid is disappointed with the teases of turnovers…
I feel like this is one of those stats that skews super in Baker’s favor when you look at only his division performances.
…and that’s why I took the money and ran!
And this is what I supposed to paste.
Take the Money and Run
Def good to rest your heart while you can
Its a good thing I’m in control of my Dad’s medicine. The blood pressure ones and low dose aspirins will be needed for OSU/ND.
Sudden change!
That Baker sure is good at making turnovers!
/Andy Reid has entered the bakery.
Just kidding.
He never left.
Woo and also hoo!
oh yea, mayfield used to play on the browns
Used to make idiotic commercials for them as well
Traded for him and a sadness to be named later
And that’s why you make sure Mike Evans gets his $3 million bonus.
Of course you probably then shouldn’t fuck up the ensuing snap.
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Is every coach named Dan a moron when it comes to going for it on fourth down?
at least campbell has a reason, his defense sucks and is dead
That’s QUINNover on downs!
Does Dan Quinn have a fear of success? Take the points!
Agreed. Way too far to go for it.
Dan Quinn ain’t gonna get the chance to choke away the Super Bowl this year.
STOP
GIVING
UP
POINTS
The problem is that SGUP won’t really catch on.
What a stupid decision there.
JFK, deciding to ride in a vehicle without a roof in Dallas
What’s the worst that could happen?
70 plus years of conspiracy theories?
RFK Jr could become a wingnut and then be placed in a position of power where he kills a bunch of kids?
I dunno. I still just don’t like the [*Redacted] s because of their history.
Go BayMay!
Hey, someone wake up the Site Gremlins. A slur made it through the filter!
BayMay?
I’m trying it out.
Maybe we can do grill spices. Or cross country moving.
It’s kinda weird that I’m this bored by this competitive of a game
I watched an episode of Evil. Curiously, it was a silent episode, which is what I’m sure NFL viewers would prefer over hearing Collinsworth talk.
-episode of evil, Hannity on Fox?
The funny part is that I would absolutely sell my soul to get Hannity to remain silent for forty minutes.
Man, having hope is kinda stressful. How do y’all who are fans of teams that don’t always suck deal with this?
Pacing, and muttering to myself. For me it is Mighty Whitey in London that drives me batshit crazy. Iggles are just fun when they are somewhat competent.
No idea. Stupid Kraken and Mariners.
Fuck, it’s been a while since I had what’s equal to multiple drinks.
Going out on a limb here, but Mike Evans might be good.
They might want to do more than just Lattimore.
More like LattiLESS
Moar like Marshawn Letthimscore right? Right?
That pass was DEANined!
Kick please
WHOOOOOOOOOO MARIOTA IS MY GOD WHOOOOOO DUCKS OUT HIM IN THE GAME OVER THAT DEI HIRE
– local douchebag in a big ass truck with an “OreGUN” sticker
Chip?
I bet there was Truck Nutz on that truck, too.
Right on schedule.
Fuck
Y’all, these All Dressed chip that Unsurprised brought are my new obsession. I will
straight up murder CEOsgo to the store like a good citizen to get more. They are super delicious and they are my precious.KNow where they originated? Look at America’s hat.
Y’all DO have some quality snacks, probably needed them to munch on while stuck inside recovering from moose bites. Mynd you, moose bites can be pretty nasti
I been thinkin’ and y’all deserve to be FOUR states. Ontario, Quebec, East The Canadia, and West The Canadia.
Good fishin’ in Kyoobeck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaekWUI6LrM
Just north of Canada’s ginch.
Have you ever had Cheezies? They are Canadian crack.
No. I am intrigued.
I brought them to Vegas and threw them on the table. Gone in mere minutes. So salty and so damn good.
Don’t sleep on Crunchits
Sleeping on Crunchits got Eli two weeks of no dessert. And he had to sleep on his He-Man sheets while the Star Wars set had to be washed multiple times.
I feel bad not bringing the dungeness crab spice chips, though.
I can no longer go down my local chip aisle because of All Dressed chips. Like crack.
The Over? I said nothing about the Over. [makes with the wavy spooky hands, forcing everybody to forget what I typed]
We still remember the Chargers game prediction!
Damn your memories! All of you!
points are much harder to come by during the playoffs
detroit’s defense might make up for it
An actual beer time! Thanks, thing I got for Christmas!
(Barrier Brewing Co. Cryomax IPA)
Hoppy, piney, maybe a little berry-y… not bad.
There’s a local restaurant with a commercial where two guys are wearing black bear costumes. It’s the same black bear costume as the one used on Conan for the masturbating bear.
“That’s how you thread the needle, Russell Wilson!” – Richard Sherman
We’re all in agreement that ‘The Disturber’ as a nickname for Mayfield is dumber than hammered shit, right?
Yeah, it’s disturbing.
PUDD’NHEAD MAYFIELD
It’s very reactionary and lacks agency, which is really stupid when you’re thinking of QB nicknames.
Yeah, that sounds like he’s just an inconsiderately noisy neighbor
Why?
we can haz competitive FITBAW???
took a whole weekend, but yes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc
Most annoying GnR song…this one or November Rain?
It’s close.
November Rain absolutely no question.
November Rain has the sweet guitar solo
1) Patience was the song playing on the radio when I first made out with my first girlfriend.
2) November Rain is legitimately GOOD!!
3) There was one song that really got on my tits, I just can’t recall which one it was.
Don’t Cry?
YES!!!!
November Rain represents everything wrong with GnR.
This represents everything right with GnR.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnckFuwV6ec
This is a good take
Saw them live at the Universal Amphitheater which was torn down for Harry Potter or some shit. smgdh