Guten Tag, drones.
I just remembered about Monday and Mock Drafts and such while sitting in front of my computer in stunned silence as the UConn Hockey Team Made Up As Individuals Identifying As Male lost in OT of the NCAA play-offs, with a chance to go to their very first Frozen Four, (is there a cooler name in play-offs? I think not), in what was a thrilling and emotional game, if not one that I would say was high is technical proficiency.
The thing about college hockey is that, with few exceptions, most of the really good 18-22-year-old players are already playing at some level of professional hockey. NIL may start to change that at the bigger schools, but for now you have to sit through a lot of sloppy puck control, missed passes, squandered shot opportunities, and general not-goodness. That said, hockey is an insanely emotional game, and watching your alma mater go toe-to-toe with a much more established program, (after defeating a former NCAA champion in the first round), is still thrilling, until they lose in an OT they were dominating, in which case it’s a real kick in the nuts.
Which brings us to this week’s topic:
Devastating Losses.
Yep, this week we take those heart-breaking defeats suffered by your favorite teams. Please confine your picks to college and/or professional sports. No one wants to hear about your high school falling just short in the State quarter-finals, and really no one wants to hear about your high school girlfriend (who we wouldn’t know), because her barrel never came up after going over Niagara Falls.
With the first pick I will Dallas’s loss in The Catch Game.
A young Horatio Cornblower learned a lot that day in 1981, including that the Cowboys weren’t always going to win, that Danny White probably wasn’t the answer to “What do we do now that Roger Staubach is gone,” and how to hate the 49ers with the white hot fury of a thousand Suns.
Dwight Clark died at 61 from ALS. Even I do not hate Clark or the 49ers that much.
The rest of you are on the clock.
Another accursed Buffalo vs Miami incident with the 1984 Hail Flutie game where Boston College beat the Miami Hurricanes . Damn that was a rough year for us between this and the superbowl.
I was in high school, watching the game with my Canadien girlfriend, and it was awesome.
In later years I learned that BC is, in fact, worse than Miami. Thanks Bill Romanowski and Mark Chmura!
5. 2010 NBA Finals, Celtics at Lakers, Game 7. In the biggest game of his career, the one that *should* have added another ugly stain to his legacy, Kobe Bryant shoots an execrable 6-24 from the field but gets carried by his teammates (notably Pau Gasol, who feasts on the absence of an injured Kendrick Perkins) into the history books with his fifth ring.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWA82W3ez4s
Counterpoint. Kendrick Perkins was overrated and is a horrible talking head now.
Perkins was never more than a useful presence on the interior (NO ONE DENIES THIS) and as a talking head he makes guys like Colin Cowherd seem tolerable, but if he’s on the floor in Game 7 there’s no way that Gasol is pulling down 18 rebounds – including 9 offensive ones.
Perhaps, but Gasol is in the HOF for a reason.
Right. Because Gasol was awesome and Kobe would have never sniffed the ’09 and ’10 titles without him.
He bought a ticket and they had to let him in?
.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=W-H7ZhZWjjU&si=DBqpJ6Bvzz_C6uBq
In apropos of nothing, I am stoked to watch Jason Mantzoukas in the next series of Taskmaster.
His time starts… soon.
The Canadiens beats the Whalers in OT of Game 7 of the 1986 Stanley Cup conference finals. Montreal would go on to win the Cup, and no one got closer than the Whalers did to beating them.
To top it off, Claude Fucking Lemieux scored the game-winner.
(This would have been my first pick, but as the resident Whalers fan I was pretty sure I could snag it late)
huh, I could have sworn it was The Whale’s signature move to always lose to the Ice P*ts in 7, opening round??
That’s what made this loss all the more devastating. The Whalers squeaked into the play-offs, then dismantled the #1 seed Nordiques before falling in 7 to the eventual champs. It was easily the closest Hartford came to hosting a Stanley Cup parade.
Still closer than Toronto.
This was the year of Marty McSorley’s Stick!
Looks like I picked the wrong day to have to drive 90 minutes each way to New Haven for a 4 minute Court conference.
Since I stopped by a local coffee chop for some extremely manly hot chocolate, (and a chocolate chip cookie!), I guess I was helping the local economy, which I’m pretty sure is why the state courts have started to insist on in-person appearances for this nonsense.
1986, Angels about to go to the World Series, and up steps Dave Henderson.
Donnie Moore eventually took his own life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QOyhcIZQzo
Man, that’s dark.
I was watching that with a couple of buddies who were from Boston. I was in Jersey at the time. They gave me so much shit.
This was a playoff game, no? Why are the bleachers so empty?
Do you remember the California Angels?
Somewhat. Do you remember Rock n’ Roll Radio?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi9a7IdRiBI
I saw an MLB Network special on that game.
Moore apparently had a lot of demons, with or without this game.
Jan. 8th 1989. NFC Championship Game. The Bears had probably their best team since ‘86 and had just won the Fog Bowl a week earlier. But the Niners went into Chicago and just beat the brakes off them.
A lot of things died that day. “Bear Weather,” though the meatball fans still think it exists, proved to be a myth. It was also the last time the Bears were considered consistently good. Outside of a couple one-off out-of-nowhere runs, they’ve been pretty terrible for the next 35 years. But when you are a ten-year-old Col. Duke, you don’t know that. You think the good times will last forever. So I would also say my childhood happiness kind of died that day too.
God damn that team for still roping me in every Fall, like the sucker I am.
It’s kind of interesting to think about exactly how the Bears ended up in a multi-decade slump. Sometimes a team’s shittiness can be traced back to a change in ownership or being located in Ohio, but that’s not the case here. It’s entirely possible that it’s just to fuck with the fans
Kenyon Martin breaking his leg in 2000 C-USA Tournament. In one instance the Bearcats went from Final Four Favorite to Dead Team Walking…er, rolling.
https://www.espn.com/ncb/columns/forde_pat/412022.html
Kmart went on to have a good pro career.
Huggins should have won the national championship.
Would that have stopped him from driving like a Reid child?
HOW DARE YOU?! He’s never crashed into anyone. I think.
He’s not really sure, either.
Can’t incriminate yourself if you can’t remember what you did.
SB XLIX. Seahawks are trailing, make some amazing plays to get withing striking distance, and then this happens. Gut wrenching to all except for Pats fans…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7rPIg7ZNQ8
Fuck you, Roger Goodell, you cockblocking shitbag…
Here it is, in gif form:
If we ever do a ‘worst possible play call’ that’s the #1 pick. Maybe the only pick.
I have a Hue Jackson one I’d put above it but that includes throwing objectivity out the window.
Is it “picking Hue Jackson to coach your team”?
Super Bowl XXV even though they are rivals Bills fans are a favorite wrestling league of min. This started a string of four historic losses, wide right memes, and key movie influence in Ace Ventura and Buffalo 66.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVRNJnJt6hk
4. 1991 AFC Championship Game. The Bills obliterated the L.A. Raiders by a score of 51-3. This was one week after Bo Jackson had suffered what would be a career-ending hip injury in a victory over the Bengals. Just an absolutely soul-crushing loss for young Rikki.
Sharp-eyed readers might notice that the player with the ball is wearing a linebacker’s number, while the tacklers are wearing receiver and offensive lineman’s numbers. This is because Raiders quarterback Jay Schroeder threw five (5) interceptions that day.
We had the fat, greasy Dirty Capitalist Pigs on the ropes with so little time left. They were so lazy! We destroyed them in north America and then they decided to play dirty to get back into the series. We were just 34 seconds away from humiliating them! Ah well, we enjoyed all the beer and steaks they sent over-we ate very well for quite some time my friend.
Can’t believe it’s still on the board (or I’m Blair witching), so I’ll take the Bartman game. And FUCK YOU ALEX GONZALEZ!
https://youtu.be/sR4r5QesGIg?si=_qVkJ_AHt0N0Pi3F
Fine I’ll link to the money shot. Fuck you, too, Moises Alou!
https://youtu.be/vq8G81oOHhY?si=DPZ2GLspwApUjsjB
One thing that’s fucked up about that incident is that if the ball landed two feet short of where it did it would be *another* fan whose life would have been ruined.
He did at least get a 2016 ring out it, I’m guessing that makes up for being doxxed by shitty fans
Exactly right. The Bartman shit would have never mattered without Alex Fucking Gonzalez.
2015: Andy Dalton breaks his wrist in a regular season loss against the Steelers ending the best season of his career and the Bengals best chance at a Playoff Run. The two most painful words in sports: “what if?”
As in “what if Andy Dalton weren’t one of the 3 best QBs in your franchise’s history?”
He’s barely in the Top 5 (Burrow, Anderson, Esiason, Blake, Dalton, with Kitna as an honorable mention)
Check your franchise records, he’s in the top 3.
Check my franchise rosters, he had Green, Sanu, Jones, a good running game and offensive line. You plug him into the ‘90s Bengals, he’s Jon Kitna.
Is that really the claim you think it is?
It’s the Bengals, no matter how you spin it, once you get past the three Super Bowl QBs, you’ll polishing turds.
This fucking thing.
I was sitting on the 50 yard line with club seats when this happened. We went home when the game was over despite having room and dinner reservations for another night in Tempe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry6KzzLS8k0
Another video if you don’t want to click the link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL8S4G9zFK8
Fucking NFL man!
biggest defeat is now posting this video
Pick #2 – January 1992 AFC title game loss in Orchard Park, 10-7.
That was the only Dan Reeves-era team that had a good enough defensing unit to truly compete for the Owl. Elway got hurt and Reeves just left him out there to get pounded. Finally, Gary Kubiak (he had already told his teammates he was retiring after the playoffs) got in late, immediately led a TD drive and had them back into FG range in the last minute (I think we recovered onside kick but hazy).
Bruce Smith, who whiffed on a tackle early in the play, recovered to Peanut Punch the ball out of Steve Sewell’s hands 20 yards downfield.
It was also the best game of Sewell’s career up to that point, and he was a personal favoUrite of Hippo’s.
Left the freshman dorm and took an angry, 2-hours walk to cool down.
This is a weird one, because the team I was rooting for won. The 1999 divisional playoffs, when the Jaguars curbstomped Marino’s Dolphins, 62-7. I was there, it was a hideous end to an amazing career.
yeah killed both Marino playing career and Jimmy Johnson’s coaching career.
Miami Dolphins loss in Super Bowl XIX taking a real pounding from San Francisco ruining Marinos record season. Can remember my Dad and Uncle buying a big poster of Dan before the game and shredding it to pieces at the end of it. Little did we know how this would be last time for Marino or for us and be perennial playoff round 1 winners for years to come. Little do we know how now we’d miss just being a wildcard winner at all.
Wow those pants.
You know you had a pair!
If I did , I’d blame my parents. I was around 10 in ‘85.
think Zubaz were more late 80s/early 90s. From wiki pedia
“Hegstrand and Laurinaitis, who owned half the company, helped popularize the pants, wearing them while teaming as the Road Warriors on the NWA on TBS.[2] Soon after, distribution with JCPenney and high profile marketing deals with NFL players such as Dan Marino helped the pants become wildly popular in the United States.[2] The Zubaz company sold $100 million worth of products in 1991 alone. The company slogan is “Dare to be Different.”
still available
https://zubaz.com/products/zubaz-miami-dolphins-nfl-mens-zebra-left-hip-logo-lounge-pant?variant=40449375731792&country=US¤cy=USD&tw_source=google&tw_adid=&tw_campaign=20969329389&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw-qi_BhBxEiwAkxvbkMwxF2iwldK7NAOCUuFW40l7HDW3aPP_cUIphKfTYBn71d6GNB2uhRoCEicQAvD_BwE
2003 ALCS Game 7. Aaron. Fucking Boone
I hate that game too, because they didn’t follow-up by winning the World Series, and they did follow-up by hiring Aaron Fucking Boone as Manager-4-Lyfe, which sucks.
Also Touchdown Seahawks
4th and 26
If that’s the Ravens V Chargers. I WAS THERE!
Cincinnati Reds 1999 NL Wild Card Tiebreaker Loss to the New York Mets.
It’s the sports equivalent of waking up from a great dream to find yourself driving towards a bridge embankment.
3. England vs. France, 2004 Euro. This was more of a crushing loss by proxy; I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone more upset over blowing a game than my friend Bobby was when England collapsed here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05ds1Q5vFEY
13-9
If yinz know, you know.
My next draft pick: the double doink.
It was a block, not a miss. Stop telling us how much you miss robbie gould
In reference to Christian Lauettner:
I wish I had a time machine to go back to 1992 and stop them from adding him to the Olympic dream team instead of shaq
Bruce Arians rode Carson Palmer to a 9-1 start in 2014. Then Drew Stanton backed up the rest of the season until a knee injury in December. This left the Cardinals to sign Ryan Lindley (who they had cut in August) from the Chargers practice squad to start their playoff game.
Lindley put up the worst playoff QB performance ever. 16 of 28 for 81 yards with one touchdown and two interceptions. And it never even looked like any bit of a game.
The offensive finished the game with 78 total yards.
That was a waste of Arians’ best teams in Arizona (year 2). Later, Arians would be forced out of the organization because he wanted more say in player personnel but that was GM Steve Keim’s job and, for his personal relationship with homosexual (nttiawwt) team owner Mike Bidwill, the Cardinals banked their future on Keim while Arians went to TB and started setting up what they are still doing successfully at the Bucs.
The 2025 Arizona Cardinals projected win total (playing the two worst divisions in the NFL) is 8.5 wins.
I feel like Lindley has legitimate competition for the “worst ever” designation.
What postseason game was that?
2. Red Sox vs. Mets 1986. What a wonderful topic to start off the week, thanks a lot Horatio.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ujwjqIldwU
I live to serve.
NCAA: We cannot pay players and let them transfer non-stop. It’ll ruin the competitive spirit of college team sports. The talent will self-segregate as they simply follow the most money.
NCAA: /Pays players and let’s them transfer freely. And gives them a sixth-year basically all the time.
NCAA: TUNE IN FOR MARCH MADNESS! AND, BY MADNESS, WE MEAN MADDENING STRAIGHT-CHALK BRACKETS FROM 2025 TO [INDEFINITELY]!
2010 nfc championship.
Bears defense makes the “unstoppable” Aaron Rodgers look human, but no one remebers that. No one remembers that the deciding score was a pick six directly thrown to someone by a third string qb…
And let’s not forget the most bullshit narrative from that game, where Jay Cutler played two quarters with a torn ACL, but every bad faith douchbag and their brother suddenly has a medical degree and decides that somehow Cutler wasn’t injured, one of the most blatant examples of the media playing favorites you’ll ever see.
Hey, I was at that game. Agree it sucked.
One of the few times I legit got pissed at the old site, because everyone was all just too happy to rag on Cutler.
I knew even back then Rodgers was far more unlikeable
Eh we’re just internet bullies who like to pile on in the moment but then post a black square on Instagram to make everything okay again.
But I didn’t think the leopards would eat *my* face
Wasn’t it his MCL? I remember they didn’t actually diagnose it until after the game, and everyone somehow thought that nothing was torn because he was able to slowly use an excersize bike. Because that’s totally equivalent to full speed NFL QB play.
You can’t really blame people for questioning Cutler: no one trusts cats.
Super Bowl XLI
Not a last minute devestation but all the hopes being up at Devin Hester’s opening kick off return just to be crushed the rest of the way.
https://youtu.be/IXmAxq36_Rg?si=FlvREeo2ApLWmITO
I hated dealing with all of the bad faith colts bandwagoners who all lived in the greater Chicago area (who also bandwagoned all of the other Chicago teams)
Not to mention Peyton fivehead played like shit in that game. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think he has the lowest qb rating of any QB to win Super bowl mvp.
Ugh I get mad just thinking about it
1998 NFC championship.
15-1 regular season.
https://youtu.be/lvLmG5Ls-kw?feature=shared
Yeah. That’s one I’ve had therapy to forget.
Not sure if this counts as it’s the Leaf’s loosing in the playoffs, but game seven in 2013, Leaf’s up by 3 goals early third period only to lose in OT
https://www.espn.com/nhl/game/_/gameId/400462047/maple-leafs-bruins
hahaha
SB LI
28 – 3
For anyone who isn’t a Pats fan…
2008 NBA Finals, fuck Doc Rivers, Paul Pierce, and the Celtics.
As i always say
Buck Foston!
Goddamn Rick fucking Monday hitting a home run off Steve Rodgers to deny the Expos a trip to the World Series.
Also hates Mondays.
I’m Steve Rodgers.
“Boys, Steve Rogers is a powerful man!”
1. Fuck Christian Laettner and fuck Duke, always and forever.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fwQyoLHBNc
Seeing that joy on Rat-face’s stupid fucking rat face just fills me with such rage and loathing that I want to scream.
What about this rat face?
I hate him by proxy
Tuff but fare.
Coach K manages to look even ratfacier than an actual rat, cartoon or real.
This will cheer you up, RTD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkALLUrgmu4
2017 World Series, fuck the Astros and fuck Rob Manfred.
You misspelled “Asterisks”.
Kevin Dyson getting tackled at the 1 inch line seemed heartbreaking for Titans fans …..
Super Bowl XXXIV for the ctrl + f crowd
https://youtu.be/Hx0tlnRXa-0?si=jgadpj5g1O8ngLDT
Off-topic: a friend told me about this Saturday.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ABoringDystopia/comments/1jkwcbx/if_i_leave_my_vizio_tv_idle_it_plays_calming/
tl;dr for those of you who don’t do Reddit; the new Vizio TVs play calming scenes as a screensaver, but every 20 minutes or so it will play commercials. The one mentioned had Kristi Noem telling illegal immigrants to GTFO. That was not what they wanted to see on their TV. He sent email to Vizio. “Can I turn this off?” Vizio said, “We need to pay for the calming scenes you didn’t ask for somehow, so, no, you can’t turn that feature off.” Real Black Mirror/1984 shit.
She’s got more eyeliner than JD Vance.
She’s got that botox and fucked-up lip job look going on as well.
She’s the lady who shot her dog, fuck her.
Yep, agreed.
“THIS LADY KRISTY NOEM I CALL HER RAMSAY BOLTON…” – me sometime in the future if I happened to find a magic lamp and a genie who granted my every wish
That’s no lady! Take it from me, an actual fucking lady.
Living just outside ground zero (DC) we see this add all the gottdammed time, along with a metric mega shit-tonne of propaganda about Herr Charlemango that would make Goebbels blush.
Hopefully you all don’t suffer the same.
I’m seeing commercials for Vivek Ramaswami (sp) for Governor of Ohio, and the election is in 2026.
2007 Super Bowl. Ruined a perfect season, Lost to Eli, and to top it off, David Tyree turned out to be a shitty person.
Stop, I can only get so erect.
2001 World Series, Game 7, Bottom of the 9th, Luis Gonzales RBI
The Yankees are NOT my favorite team but they are to many others, including several beloved relatives of mine. I enjoy Yankee fan suffering almost as much as Red Sox suffering.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9eE7fZSUt8
FUCK. Rudy. Giuliani.
This was going to be my second pick.
/It did indirectly save Enrique Wilson’s life though.
The dbacks beat the Yankees in the WS less than two months after 9/11.
And New York City has never fully recovered.
THE TERRORISTS WON.
/I mean, *points to front page of a newspaper* am I wrong?
At the time I read that you could beat Tebow by playing Cover 2, or any kind of zone, and don’t let him run. So of course Dick LeBeau blitzed on every down and played man. Then on the first play of overtime…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMVnLsODqqg
It was Jeebus, evangelicals probabaly.
C’mon… who could forget the Colts loss to those JWN Jets in SB III ?
Corch did NOT fucking travel and God bless Billy Packer for NEVAR letting go of this injustice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghJRQoTv4to
(Hippo will angry about this all day now, and well into the morrow)
This is Hippo’s Gettysburg
This game never should have happened because Mourning fouled Mueller and he would have made the foul shots and Princeton would have advanced instead of Georgetown.
https://youtu.be/h_rbPuS_4j4?si=wi3Xr13Sx1yBR2KX
It’s interesting to watch the end of an NCAA game where the refs don’t spent fifteen minutes drooling at the replay booth trying to determine whether to add 0.3 seconds to the twenty-seven seconds remaining on the game clock.
I never put that piece of the puzzle together. NOW EXTRA MAD!!
The year 2004 never happened. I will not go further into explanation.
I mean I was sad about John Kerry losing too but in retrospect it has lost a lot of its sting.
Hooo boy. Here we go.
Alec Martinez will forever live rent free in my head. Not just his OT heroics, but in 5 games, 4 of them going to OT, two with double OT is as close of a 5 game loss as you can get.
Also Dwight King can get fucked because that was goalie interference on the tying goal in game 2.
/rant
I pick UNLV losing to Duke in the national semifinal. It was their only loss that year.
You will NEVAR convince Hippo that LJ was not throwing that game/shaving points. Passing up an open shot so that Anderson Tate had to fling up a contested prayer at the buzzer? Fuckery. Noted.
Him?
God, I hated that the Hornets (back when I gave a shit about them) drafted him. I was a “Big Zo” guy all the way.
Not a draft pick, but I am sure the conning sewers of this site will love this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFGhQ303470
There needs to have been a decent chance at a win for a loss to be devastating, so I’ve only got one but it’s a doozy.
RG3 and his Knee