Have you set your lineups? Be sure to make that panic-y last minute adjustment, it’s going to pay off!
To The Games!
Giants/Cowboys:
Much like Jerrah’s breath this contest reeks…of a “Get Well” game for Dallas. Dak has won thirteen straight games against NY which is second only to Bob Griese’s run of 17 in a row vs the Bills from 1968-79. The timetable for a Dart Start is a meticulous process according to Daboll but my guess is that when All Pro tackle Andrew Thomas is fit to play is when the countdown starts in earnest.
Rams/Titans:
For those that keep track of such things, Nacua needs 12 grabs to match OBJ’s record of 206 catches in the first 30 games starting a career. Rook wr Elic Ayomanor looks to be the #2 man in the Titans receiving corps although he was only able to convert two of his seven targets. The good news for Ward? On the surface his 12-for-28 passing number doesn’t look as bad as it seems after coaches reviewed the games. And after all, it did come vs that nasty Denver D.
Jags/Bengals:
Travis Hunter’s split last week was 42 plays on offense and 6 on defense and Liam Coen says the latter will increase. Starting Etienne Jr. this week is a no-brainer because the Jags o-line can run block and Cincy gave up 25.1 fantasy points to the Browns motely crew of a backfield last week.
Browns/Ravens:
The sharp fellas in Vegas must think Cleveland is cooked given that 11.5 spread that I saw. Baltimore is 12-2 after a loss since 2022, second only to the Chiefs. Tight end Andrews should bounce back because as good as the Browns D is, they are exploitable at that spot.
Bills/Jets:
NY hasn’t scored more than 23 points against Buffalo in 12 straight tries. They are committed to running the ball and should have some success this time around given that DT Ed Oliver is sitting this one out. With Sauce on the other side expect Allen to pick on cb Brandon Stephens.
Pats/Fins:
It’s The Battle of the Two Not Very Good Teams! Although one seems to be ascending and the other is in dissension. Coach McDaniel noted last week that players abandoned their assignments and tried to make a play. That seems code for a lack of discipline to me.
Niners/Saints:
Pearsall should get all kinds of targets given the state of the receiving corps though they’ll come courtesy of one Mac Jones. Expect the game to be tight because Shanny Jr. is 16-25 when someone other than Purdy or Jimmy G is under center.
Bears/Lions:
Ben Johnson Revenge Narrative Even Though He Left On Good Terms shall be engaged? Johnson also mentioned that he wants to get rook rb Kyle Monangai more involved so get your waiver wire finger ready. Lions fans were grumbling about the offense just one week in. Lions fans? Expectations? It’s a topsy-turvy world out there.
Seahawks/Steelers:
Pitt hasn’t started 2-0 in back-to-back seasons since 2016-17. Despite the smallish 3.5 spread no one can see the Steelers losing to Darnold and a moribund Seattle squadoo. OC Art Smith was quite impressed with Kenny Gainwell in camp and was rewarded with a 7 rush 19 yard performance.
For those so inclined there’s a wee bit of footy as an appetizer-Burnley/Liverpool at 9am and Man Derby at 11:30. Enjoy your day.
yay, I left Odunze in my lineup, for lack of viable alternatives!
TD for the Bears

Giants o-line guy openly slaps the head of a defender on a play that is going to the other side of the field. 2nd and 30.
giants have two speeds:
-openly tanking
-surprise super bowl run
he just jammed a DBs head in the tuff for a flag.
Amorim has put in his walk-ons.
I think that’s just “the mother sucking the son” calibre Bearisticrats. It will get worse.
bears wasting no time making me switch to the wnba playoffs
How many of the ads are for Subaru?
As someone who also likes the company of women, I can vouch that they are good automobiles.
Well yeah, all their buyers like women.
And now let’s please have a moment of Jubilation for the death of a hate monger Charlie Kirk.
My dumbass lottery-ticket parlay involves above-average performances by the following:
Cam Ward (30+ yards rushing)
Josh Palmer (70+ yards receiving)
Theo Johnson (50+ yards receiving)
TreVeyon Henderson (80+ yards rushing)
My most sincere apologies to everyone negatively affected by my choices.
Good afternoon.
I am ready to get hurt again.
Wakey gon’ be enraged, good thing he has…Fuck You LOLfin to look forward to?
Found a funny:
Do you think unbending Clippy until he was a long piece of metal would be painful for him. Or do you think it would cause him to feel a great sense of relief?
/Burger King commercial
HEY FATTY!! STICK THIS NEEDLE IN YOUR GUT SO YOU WON’T BE SO DISGUSTINGLY FAT YOU PATHETIC FAT FUCK!!!!
/McDonald’s commercial
Murrika is a Land of Contrasts
It’s a country where a lot of people thought it was funny when a politician’s husband got attacked with a hammer, but then when a pundit took a bullet to the throat from one of his ideological compatriots they’re all “stop making jokes, this isn’t funny you guys, you people are sick.”
“ITS VERY UNCIVIL AND DISRESPECTFUL OF CHARLIE KIRK’S MEMORY TO DIRECTLY QUOTE WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAID. MIND YOUR MANNERS, YOU FILTHY LIBTARDS!!!1!”
The radio is out! This is not a drill!
Correct, it’s a radio.
We being nuked or sommet?
[is also a judge in the ham sculpting competition and lives by the matra “bigger is better”] – Coach Reid
STILLERS GONNA SUPER BOWL, UP THE IRONS
https://www.instagram.com/p/DOblZAAjKOM/
Random stupid idea:
Ummmm…are any of the NFL teams gonna do a pre-game moment of silence for Charlie Kirk?
I’d be ok with a moment of silencer.
Probably chicken out and have moment of silence for “victims of gun violence”.
charlie kirk was the first one to stop talking ppl forget that
Gators don’t stick around for UF Alma Mater following loss to LSU
If I’m coach, the entire team is running laps around the band playing the alma mater until someone pukes. And then the team is going to run some more.
they were afraig Legwey would go stand in front of the wrong band
what’s the point of learning a song when you’re just going to transfer in 3 months
So the very first week that we were officially moved into our house a few months back, this older man walked over from across the street to introduce himself to us, explain that he had been long time close friends with the previous owners, had been doing yard maintenance for them, etc. Nice old guy chatting type talk.
He also mentioned some incredibly way too specific things not only about the yard and exterior of the house, but about the interior that left both me and MrsTPS thinking afterwards “that was super weird of him to say, and a little fucking creepy”. He presented himself like a neighbor, and we assumed he lived in one of the nearby houses he had been around when we first saw him and his truck.
Turns out he doesn’t live on this street OR nearby. This old ass man was just parked in his truck across the street, waiting to find out who had moved into his old best friend’s house.
I’m so glad I changed the locks within the first week or so, because fuck that creepy old man.
Well that’s terrifying.
I think him and the husband who lived here were at the least best friends and possibly work partners or handymen together type guys – fix your car, do some wood working, paint your house, build your fence type handymen.
Buuuuuut he also mentioned the wife in ways the we both thought “yea, he was totally in love with his friends wife”.
At least he’s old-I assume you can take him.
Lol
Yes, but we also haven’t seen him since.
HULK SMASH
/appreciated, want to be able to divert attention to nonagon
week 2 and im already pissed at nfl’s blackout rules two weeks in a row. only get one early game (the ben johnson bowl)
…despite my local team (fat humps) are at home for the LATE game, where i will actually get the 2 games on cbs and fox…?!
wimmins basketball playoffs going to have to carry weight if bears remain terrible
Same here, I get Jax@Cin and Sea@Pit, but then I only get the SB Rematch. I guess Bull Riding Highlights is more important than anything else happening in the Late Afternoon games.
I also hate their blackout rules
–Britt Reid
So…
Fields (vs. BUF) or Stroud (vs. TB)?
oof. Fields, but that’s the risky move. Just hate that 500s OL
Is forfeiting an option?
Hmm. Passion fruit or pineapple? Hard to decide.
Wait. Is this what life is like for blaxabbath when he’s at his estate in Hawaii?
No, because Lychee is in abundance there
There’s a player for England whose last name is Cokayne, and my brain keeps telling me to look for a bad white rapper from the 90s.
I’m going to make a calculated bet that the Indy D is real and sit Engram and start Gesicki.
yeah, I wouldn’t trust Engram at all. Sutton is the only reliable receiving piece
me thinks to hammer the under in that tilt.
YARP
Anyone watching Alien Earth? its not bad, I wish the show was about how they captured the the specimens. Am rooting for that Eyeball to escape and start a podcast.
Prometheus and what followed turned me off to that whole universe, but I might check out Alien Earth given that jjfozz says it has done a decent job of filling the void that Emily In Paris’ absence has left in his heart.
we are liking alot just mentally fast forward the “klds” acting dumb knowing it a setup to eventually get them killed. Enjoying the new aliens and the cyborg vs synth game going on. Also Hawley said has his plan for season 2 set and can see season 3 or 4, would be interesting if he did it anthology style like Fargo and jumped around time and place in the universe
MATH HARD! league is weird. On my roster page Jordan Mason’s projected point total is 20+ but when I insert him into the lineup and go to matchups it’s showing at 9…?
9 early games, Hanson will be on his toes
Somebody spelled ‘beak’ wrong.
He’d be great to do beak with, too. Hanson’d make sure everybody partook to their satisfaction, but also that nobody felt pressured.
Going to the bathroom to partake is out of the question though.
thanks to Dr Shoals for sponsoring the Nonagon today
My picks today
Dallas -4.5
Rammit -5.5
Cards -6.5
Wish I was at the German bar in Koreatown right now.
Are there Bratwurst dumplings on the appetizer menu?
Instead of sauerkraut on sammiches, it’s kimchee.
The food was absolutely superb. As were the beer steins t size of Dok’s head.
NOW THIS GUY INJURED NEW ORLEANS SAFETY JULIAN BLACKMON I CALL THIS GUY CHARLIE KIRK BECAUSE HE’S NOT GOING TO BE STANDING AMONGST SAINTS TODAY
Holy shit
Morning Folks
It’s rainy, cloudy, overcasty… seems like a great day to introduce the nearby bar to Seahawks Poncho TPS.
“Local bar pillaged and taken over by a ridiculously handsome man in a Seahawks poncho”
It’ll read like one of those ‘a bear got into these campers tents, drank all their Rainers, ate all their food, passed out in a nearby tree’ stories for the neighborhood.
A ridiculously handsome bear in a poncho!
♫ I’d like to meet his tailor! ♫
Ok,
Goff vs Bears at home
Baker on the road vs Texans
McCarthy home vs Atlanta
Show your work.
Well, I nae trust McCarthy yet, Texans D is real good, and the Bears suck. So Goff.
I sat Goff in favor of who I’m hoping will show up as Stat Padford today.
Just not Baker? Other 2 a coinflip
was debating getting a backup qb in advance with Daniels MRI yesterday, most seem equally toss up so will keep some bench speculation and deal with it next week if I have to
Goff just thinking Lions are due a bounce back after last week and dr bears a fine prescription
England treating Scotland like a colony and not like a sovereign state with thoughts and feelings.
Just checked my Lowratio League matchup and the estimable Don T had Jordan Love going for him.
The entire right side of the Dolphins’ O-line is out. That’s probably not good
Based on last week I’m not sure anyone will notice.
I still think the Fins win. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if Tua is lower than last week’s QBR.
There’s a fire Grier and McDaniel banner flying over Hard Rock right now
and certainly Tua wont remember even if he does
“Gives Tua more space to cook….methylamine.”
-Mike M, Miami Fl
Getting a new line in Miami is super easy
hopefully last Sunday seeing McDaniels , Is running it up too much to ask Greatriots?!
Yes, it is.
Thanks to The Ocho, I now know that competitive pinball is a thing.
new you can use, just added to the recording library, cant wait to see what degenerate site allows gamblin on it
Pinball is super fun once you get to know a machine well enough to know what you’re trying to accomplish other than just “smash the ball with the flippers”.
now air hockey lot of dudes that belong in a Tim and Eric sketch on the loose
Welp – it’s now 19-3 England.
I really hope that’s Rugby, because if that a soccer score than things have really gone slightly out of hand.
https://tenor.com/view/eagles-cowboys-cowboys-vs-eagles-spank-gif-15350304
It’s the male-female ratio at a particularly lively Turning Point USA box social.
“Starting Etienne Jr. this week is a no-brainer because the Jags o-line can run block and Cincy gave up 25.1 fantasy points to the Browns motely crew of a backfield last week.”
That’s explains that feeling of impending dread I have in the pit of my stomach.
Superintendent Manhattan:
Captain Seymour Lafayette Skinner:
Those of you who support good teams, or Cowboys fans – what do you do in the three hours between a bad team should be playing and when they actually are?
Dog walks and DOTA kill the time. Looking forward to some BF6 to add to the time killing
also watching TI even tho only a million dollar prize now
So far I’ve cleaned the upstairs bathroom and taken the AC out of Mrs. Horatio’s room. Now I’m going to the gym, then I’ve got a dog to walk and a lawn to mow, the latter probably for the last time of the season.
I might get to see some of the Dallas game at lunch.
It’s just too nice a day here in CT to sit inside and watch Jerry Jones’s creation stumblefuck their way through a game against an organization that is somehow even more detached from reality, at least when it comes to the QB position.
Oh, the Manchester Derby is exclusively on Peacock? ColoUr me surprised NBC, and also go fuck yourself.
Thanks Scotchy, can’t be easy writing the Giants preview every week, but at least this time the majority of the clubhouse will be pulling for the Vertically Enhanced!
/scowls in Lowratio
Went to my local gas station for the Sunday NY Times, (they always have it, because no one in that area of town can read), and they had no power due to an SUV vs. utility pole incident earlier this morning. The guy knows me so he lets me in to get the paper and then invites me to take as many doughnuts from the shuttered Dunkin’ Donuts section as I want.
Years ago, when DD made their stuff on-site, I’d have backed my car up to the door and gone full Andy Reid but today I just hooked a chocolate frosted and went about my business.
I have a ton of DD credit because I get $7 free from Amex for them and it’s just gone to load a gift card so far.
3-0 Scotland. It’s over; call it.
(Knows it’s going to go downhill from here.)
Also watching rugby. Let the English fan stereotypes begin!
Playing “count the teeth” on crowd shots?
At least five guys dressed like medieval knights and/or “Holy Grail” characters.
Trying to play 6 Degrees of Genetic Separation at a wedding and failing miserably.
Those busty, beer-soaked washerwomen are going to take this!
Pasty holding a pasty!
Haha! I’m playing Charlie Kirk in fantasy football this week and his roster is frozen with injured Brock Purdy at quarterback.
This dude is dead.
Oh, I think I got an invitation to play in that league! It’s the one called “200 Yards and a Cloud of Smoke”, right?
Not With A Bang But Rather A Whimper
Early Season Collapse
(P/A) “May I have your attention please; would Miracle Max and Nariyoshi Miyagi please report to the San Francisco Locker Room. Thank you.”
Ah, misread. -1 accepted and approved.
May his family find peace while he burns in Hell.
Oh yeah.OBJ was a thing for a minute in the NFL there…
/watching women’s rugby
“I’ll bet you Ireland is wearing those green uniforms!”