Are you ready for another shit ton of football? Not only do we get this extra tilt but there’s a doubleheader on Monday night as well. Just a reminder that there are two teams on a bye, Houston and Minny. Let’s go!
To The Game!
Broncos/Jets:
-Hard to believe that Aaron Glenn’s team hasn’t forced a single turnover yet and doesn’t even average one sack per game. Lack of talent? Players not understanding the scheme? Glenn in over his head in an unwinnable situation? I wouldn’t rule out anything.
-Last time Nix played the Jets he had a mere 60 yards throwing in a 10-9 snoozefest.
-The Broncos D continues to shine-they allow the 3rd-fewest fantasy points to QB’s.
-The Jets key to success this year as they defined it was to ram the ball down opponents throats. How’s that going? They are 27th in Expected Points Added per designed rush and now they face a team that allows a mere 1.9 yards per contact on run plays.
-In the previous games that Sutton has played vs Sauce he’s had 4 grabs, a TD and 73 yards.
-It’s across from Sauce that is the problem-Riley Moss is getting picked on and has allowed the 2nd-most yards of any CB.
Go dip something in your tea.
Reporting, but will be busy to get stuff done before the first of the afternoon games.
Honey, do you have any chores for me to do? PLEASE???
If not, could you think some up?
Present!
I’ll get to the game in a bit but think I’ll get several miles of concrete in first.
Bom Dia!
I think I might hold off on Predator: Badlands until it shows up on streaming.
Jest have been comically inept, yet the Donks only lead by ONE GODDAMNED FITBAW POINT
Got a case of the dropsies.
it’s just such a strange team, quarter to quarter so high variance
Reporting for mandatorium duty. I would’ve been on time but I didn’t want to.
All good. You’ve beaten the Jets by about 2.5 quarters.
Well, I just poured a glass of Peach Mango drink instead of Orange Juice. That’s a good omen for today.
Sun’s over the yardarm somewhere.
It’s not looking good for Quentin Johnson today, so put down that Descender graphic novel and strap on your helmet, kid…
rolls 20-sided die
Maybe they were just trying to get into FG range then gave up after the sack? That’s the only kinda reasonable thing I can think of.
But no hail mary, though?
That would indicate presence of a tiny sliver of hope
“Hope? What’s that?” – Bengals fan
Amateur! – Jest fandom, in unison
What in all the shit that has ever shat, is current shitting and will eventually shit, is that shit?!
Garrett Wilson Reacts Reasonably
Any Jet who could hold down a roster spot on a different team should request a trade
What was the point of that fake punt if you’re going to do THAT?
I think the Jets have broken Kurt Warner. Either that or the censor-button-operator is working overtime.
Yeah, you gotta give it to em, it’s bad enough to make everrrryone watch this shit without at least trying to make it a game
How is that a flag on Aaron Glenn? He’s literally at midfield!
Yeah I ain’t watching this
But you’ll miss the punts! The punts!!!
I sat my flex guy, Wilson from the Jets, because the Donks defense has been good. Watch him go off!
Well, he went off on the coach…
The song in Aaron Glenn’s head:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_r2K3vvbQ0
Hey! The Chain Gang gets to work!
Did the Jest first the down??
Justin Fields is really gonna wipe out my 30 from Skattebo in Freezer Vodka.
if you did that “paleo” diet AND a bunch of opiates…would one EVAR shit again?
if its coming out of the mouth counts then yes
You will be fossilized from the inside
was kinda visualizing the tar pits
Damn, it really didn’t take long for the Jets to eliminate whetever traces of good QB practices that the Bears somehow didn’t wipe out
So, under RFK’s theories if I use the Tylenol rollerball from a commercial I just saw, will that circumcise me or make me artistic?
Both.
I am already desperate for a nap. Hours 13 and 14 is gonna sssssuuuuuccccckkkkkk
Second and third quarter of the 4:00 Eastern games is nap time.
just 3 games, slumber will deffo call and be hard to resist
Thankfully the Bengals are in the late afternoon window, so I can cry myself to sleep for a quick nap.
Redshirt, I will never forgive Ohio for shitting out JD Vance.
Yale also deserves some of the blame
I’m looking at a list of notable Yale alumni and other then Meryl Streep they pretty much all either suck or don’t suck but also don’t not suck.
Just wait until they launch Gov. Ramaswarmy (or however you spell it) onto the national stage
Surprise! Vivek Ramaswamy’s Turning Point Event Derailed by Racism
Nikki Haley’s son Nalin slams Vivek Ramaswamy for ‘blasphemous’ comparison of Holy Trinity to 330 million gods
There are still some issues with the prelaunch stage.
One the one hand, Ramaswamy is a Republican. On the other, he doesn’t pass the paper bag test.
Edi: need more coffee.
Pfft, you call that “derailing” a Turning Point event?
I saw some of that. There are an alarming number of creepy Hitler Youth among us, who would be perfectly happy to shove us in the oven.
Yeah, we screwed you on this one. Even I don’t know how we got fooled by Vance.
Man, I tried. That literal crook Moreno is a POS too.
MacGregor? And they’re making him play for the entertainment of the English?
Hey folks,
Goff vs Chiefs
or
Mayfield contra Niners
I’d go Mayfield. But the shine is wearing off my fantasy start
Mayfield.
I have Mayfield on my team, so I’d guess Goff
I’m here.
(checks Box Score)
Is the Jets offense here?
Nope!
Would like some more Engram action please and thanks!
I guess I understand what the eagles are doing now. What week do you think they start ramping up Barkley’s workload? Week 12? 13?
Buenas… Reporting for Mandatory, still with sand and seawater all over. The beach sure is getting colder. Nevertheless, fall is fictional (source:
https://youtu.be/-oBlspOIP3I?si=v5mAz_mr_cd7q13W
there’s a Hives FOAR all occasions, es verdad!
They’ve npw completed an actual forward pass (to go with the placement successes) but first down counter still stuck on NIL.
I’m just here so I don’t get fined
Am here. Doing this on Pacific time really changes things
Feel free to slap the MANDATORY tag on late night events. I’ll stay up. There’s always papers to grade. I do love having everyone here for coffee for these stupid games.
I totally forgot there was an early-early game this week, but still on eastish coast time so woke up for it anyway!
Atkins. Who’s that? A fullback?
I mean, it’s MY TEAM and I dunno either
I thought Trautman was the damn back up TE.
Some guy who eats a lot of steak?
Nocturnes drop a tough one on a walkoff homer, 4-3. Jets-Donks is now officially guaranteed to have more points.
21-18 final score in final, only field goals scored for both teams.
Two Jest FGs, but they’ve yet to make a first down.
FG-kakke!
How is this mandatory again?
I really, truly have NO memory of the Mandatorium’s origin story. But roolz r roolz, you dirty Bastard Man hippie!!!
DONKS WOO! Totally worth it now.
The pitchforks, torches, and lynch mobs are out for James Franklin’s head on a stick across the Commonwealth of Pennsyltucky this morning.
It it GLORIOUS.
ah worry that ah talk to my damned self too much. Other Hippo be all liek WELL SHUT THA FUCK UP THEN
at least they can miss a FG instead of punting. SMALL VICTORIES, Jest!
c’mon, VAR help a brutha out
Narrator – VAR would NOT help a brutha out
that siren is really getting on me tits
The Brits anthem is good-short and to the point. To the mediocre game!
I must bitch about my brain – with the footy on break, I have been awake before 6-fucking-30 each morning this weekemd.
TCO WCS, reporting for duty.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/46567674/source-cardinals-kyler-murray-expected-vs-colts
Might be a good time to utilize Indy in a Survivor Pool, or maybe the Clots D for fantasy purposes.
Duke WCS had a terrific party, and I’ve got Lil’ WCS napping/waking up next to me now. Lil’er WCS won’t budge for hours; gets that from her mom.
I am very quickly remembering how exhausting Spirit Journey Anniversary celebration parties are for children. Haven’t done this in a while.
v-8 energy (Black Cherry varietal) #2 popped and being ingested as we speak.
Coffee/hot chocolate/alcoholic espresso martini concoction over here.