Staying up for the second tilt is not mandatory, by the way. We’re reasonable people that might just have to half-ass it tomorrow morning at work.
This one will be short and sweet because I’m under the weather.
Fallout:
-As with all things these days the story of Doug Martin’s passing, once details come out, gets all kinds of messy. There’s not much to go on but a break-in, a scuffle and a death in police custody are the variables.
-The next time someone tells you that college kids are making too much money and that it’s a strain on the Athletic Department and boosters/alumni you could perhaps point out that 10 football guys (Dilfer, Napier, Franklin and Gundy among them) have lost their battle with employment so far and are walking away with a collective 160 million. Schools offer these outrageous contracts and that’s all well and good but the kids are too greedy is a silly stance to take.
-Tua took a great amount of heat last week regarding players not showing up to meetings and then walked it back on Wednesday. How did he respond yesterday? With three more INT’s yesterday (his two week total is six) and his play so poor he got pulled.
To The Games!
Bucs/Lions:
-Detroit hasn’t lost back-to-back games since October 30, 2022.
-They’re a 6.5 dog at home.
-Evans and Egbuka look ready to go and that’s why Tez Johnson will vulture another score.
Texans/Seahawks:
-Houston has the best scoring D at 12 points a game-everyone knew about the d-line but the secondary has pulled up it’s bootstraps.
-So far this season Darnold has a 71% completion rate going which is 10 points higher than his career average.
-Who would have thunk that one of the most potent QB-WR tandems would be Sam and JSN?
Do your thing.
What is a catch
What is a fumble
Where is the ball placed
Who am I? What am I doing here? Where am I, anyway?
DUMPERDOWN, c-hox 3-1
BIG DUMPER!
There’s nothing wrong with this game but it’s just nawt holding my interest for some reason
Both of these teams are putting a lot of effort in to earning the right to get absolutely violated by the Dodgers.
Hopefully they’ll burn the uniforms.
Yeah, those were certainly a choice.
I like the Mariners dark blue jerseys, but that bright red advertising patch clashes horribly with it.
Do you think Dak is less prone to hamstring injuries since his head provides his body an extra source of ham?
Let us pray. He’s my Freezer League qb.
If I were the Blue Jays down 2-1 in Game 7 the first thing I’d do is get that guy wearing a fucking Maple Leafs cap out of the front row.
waiting for big dumper to come out of the dugout with a bruins jersey
Plot twist: it’s Steve Bartman
Are you joking or did they switch hats? I only see Jays caps in the front?
I’m not kidding when I say I’m pretty sure he is still there, but has turned the hat backwards.
…
If buttsex was good enough for the Spartans, it’s good enough for these cretins.
Troy with a “giving him the business” joke. Wtf
Beiber hung that pitch so badly I had time to think “if he swings at it’s gone” before Rodriguez swung at it and sent it 430′ away.
touchdown dirtball c-hox, lead 2-1
My trade for Mike Evans was looking pretty good, as he came back earlier than expected from a hamstring injury, but is now looking not very good, as he seems to have died*.
*Miami medical staff’s new diagnosis for ‘concussion’ or, as the NFL calls it “the injury which must not be named.”
“Dad, did you ever go to protests in college?”
“Oh yeah. Gotta exercise those constitutional rights.”
“Well why did you go?”
“Um, well.”
“To meet babes.” (uttered by the youngest child.)
dirtball c-hox/argonauts tied 1-1
God Fucking Damn It!
Every wants to be Donks/VEP Q4 now.
nfl script writers earning every bit of that soon-to-be bonus this year
Eh. I don’t want modern script writers anywhere near the NFL
these are the 90s wwf attitude era ones, likely
Is that legal?
nothing is, anymore
“Jared Leto as the Comeback Player of the Year, who says no?”
Everyone, like literally everyone: No.
At least we can be sure they haven’t started using AI yet since the winning team has always been one of the teams that is actually playing in the game so far
I can see them shitting themselves to death like the alternate version of Dumb and Dumber.
Beautiful paragraph from the J-E-S-T beat reporter:
The Jets are losing, and they feel lost. They don’t have a quarterback for now, or one for later. Their quarterback of the future is playing on a college football team somewhere, maybe in Indiana, or Oregon, or South Carolina. Whoever he is, wherever he is, he should enjoy these last moments of prosperity and adulation while he still can. Soon, he’ll be given an impossible task: Jets savior. The weight of an organization mired in despair will fall on his throwing shoulder. He’s the only hope the Jets have, the only hope the Jets ever have: the next quarterback.
in this NIL era no fuckin way i declare for the draft if the jest got the 1st overall
gimmie a few million for that 5th/6th year
Joe Namath is still available . . .
I was just thinking “Save us Obi-Wan …” and by God, Joe Namath suits that role perfectly.
The Jets could do worse.
Who’s this fat guy doing commercials for Norwegian cruise lines? he needs to be flayed alive
Shaq?
1-0 Seattle already
Vladdy Guerrero wearing a Leafs jersey today cursed them
dirtball c-hox score first, lead dirtball argonauts 1-0
..
bears almost awake from their annual 20-year hibernation, and to taunt the lions theyre gonna win with their offensive coach
At the airport after the easiest international check in ever.
Only 2 and 1/2 more hours.
Have fun!
Bieber 15 years ago and … I know this one.
I mean Aaron Glenn has to be watching this in a dark room with a fucking TUMBLER of scotch in one hand and a revolver in the other.
It’s nice to find out other people share my hobby
Mike Evans, he die
Well fuck
Knocked out cold there, no?
How ded? Dinged up or IR bound?
It looked bad but not really sure what happened/went wrong. Didn’t look like he hit his head at all but seemed woozy and out of it, might be the pain though
now saying concussion and shoulder (I’d guess collarbone)
Apparently concussion and shoulder? How did that happen?
Edit: Just watched an angle from the side and he lands directly on his shoulder with the defender on tope and the side of his head bounces against the ground
hard to tell if his lowers re-popped or something else, looks like they immediately gave him morphine
It’s gotta be pretty fun to watch your own replay on a play like that
open up a bottle of sirvocea for the sack, it’s time for the ladies man
https://ibb.co/HL6TY60H
Remember when the FBI stupidly and maliciously called them a gang. Fucking shitheads.
Give it three more weeks off rising prices…
Gonna send a missile at the next Juggalo meetup to stop Faygo trafficking.
You have to attack it at the source. Faygo is brewed and bottled in hell, so if we can get a drone down there . . .
The episode of Workaholics when they went to a Juggalo concert was pure gold
These are more like the Lions I remember.
These Lions uniforms say only, “We are not the Detroit Lions of old.”
And that is it.
I genuinely wish the NCAA and D-1 football and basketball didn’t exist. Higher education itself has become enough of a scam on students because of … whatever. But nearly every program is a massive net drain on these schools, and the state schools are the most offensive and egregious villains in this.
I should acknowledge from my own experiences with higher education and the legislative process that the corruption is the point and that’s even more reason to eliminate them.
Very interesting graphic.
1) Nevada is lol
2) The asterisk for Mississippi is probably “we don’t know if what Lane Kiffin does is actually considered coaching”
3) Connecticut, weakass cuck state
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ. (RET): What should we do with these several hours to kill before heading to the airport for the next leg of our journey?
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I’m thinking I’ll try to find a spot where I can watch Game 7 of the ALCS.
DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ. (RET): No, I’d prefer that you accompany my mother and me shopping and stand around angrily peering at your phone while we browse through skin care products all morning.
[note: not an exact transcript]
Why can’t you slightly split up? I imagine the game is on in the background at Korea Dave n Busters.
You joke but there’s basically an entire street full of carnival shit here in Jeonju. Fun stuff you don’t get to do in the US, too – like archery with real arrows that could totally impale somebody.
Why not go do that?
“That’s a good idea, because your skin is awful and you need all the help you can get”
next time that happens, you walk right up to the counter and loudly demand to know WHERE IS THE CREAM YOU PUT ON THE CHANCRE SORES ON YOUR BALLS!
Having a Salisbury steak tv dinner for the first time in probably over 30 years. It’s okay!
I used to love TV dinners when I was a little kid. Not because the meal was any great shakes, but I felt like it was astronaut food.
Ramen here. I will take the guaranteed no-ice-spots of soup and give up the enjoyment of well-microwaved frozen gravy.
A friend of mine from high schoolr recently had a stroke. Now he can’t drive ever again.
I gotta find a good person who will promise to smother me if I ever have a stroke.
DM me for details.
Isn’t that why people have children?
I think that’s what gives them the stroke
After seeing my sister take three miserable years to die of colo-rectal cancer, I swear if I ever get that I hope I have a friend who will be kind enough to come up behind me and put a big bullet in my head.
I once told this to my oncologist and he just silently nodded his head and didn’t disagree.
My wife worked in bone marrow transplant. None of those nurses were signing up for that experience/success rate.
Just make sure all the paperwork is finalized. It’s a miserable mess if some document never got signed before they died.
My neighbor is Canadian. She says you can sign up for euthanasia up there.
I assume that’s a pretty brutal way to go — mauled by beavers.
“mauled by beavers” I think I saw that documentary.
i’ve told my family that if i get diagnosed with what my father had, i’m getting an expensive bottle of bourbon, some oxy, and i’ll see you in the fucking promised land.
no way i’ll put my sons through that.
Kraft would pay extra for a smotherstroke.
SlingTV is completely down so no ballgames on my computer workstation.
Thank you AWS.
https://ibb.co/3mZLTbb7
Had Sling for the last 5 plus years, just went back to basic cable. It was actually cheaper.
“…and you wouldn’t believe all the savings YOU can enjoy when you sign up for the Comcast bundle promo code: Jimbo03.
This post may advertise products for which i my receive residual revenues but you gotta believe it doesn’t influence my posts, as an influencer.”
-Jimbo, handing you a form on a clipboard and reaching for his heavily chafing shirt.
If this bar TV us showing Bucs/Lions, will my comments be on a live game?
“BALLS OUT!”
https://bsky.app/profile/prashanthiyer.bsky.social/post/3m3nwxs6mq22s
Thank you, Scotchy. Pay these kids — if you dont like the cost or the game, don’t offer football at your collegiate education institution.
It’s amazing what happens to a quarterback’s productivity when the other players collectively stop trying.
RA-DOWN
Well that was fast
Look, it was a long day. I was inexperienced and she was very attractive and… oh, sorry, I thought you were talking about my prom night.
Yeah, leaving the house, even in PJs, is nawt gonna happen. Might order good, non-shame pizza or maybe Indian food or just heat up something. Goooooo Mike Evans and LioUns!
As an NFC Central originalist, I consider this a division rivalry game.
gonna be hard for warren sapp and derrick brooks to corral barry sanders tonight
Hey don’t forget about Hardy Nickerson
wayne haddix, 8-bit DB god https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqs-H9lhVQo
Yeesh! Forgot to mention that whole baseball thingy going on this evening.
I need a little over 90 points in MATH HARD! from Baker, Jameson and the Lions D-Pray For Hobo.
I need 101 points from my last player this week, a Houston WR who is listed as OUT.
My opponent still has 2 players tonight, projected to get 14-ish points, so my matchup might be the blowout of the week.
The obvious explanation is fraud.
Real Talk – Hippo is starting to question if the Mandatorium even exists for 14-hr Sundays. I feel like such an agnostic rn smgdh
You’re just finally coming to your senses.