But it isn’t remotely true. The neutral observer might get a quality hate-watch but otherwise, Oof!
To The Games!
Browns/Raiders:
Two (wins) plus two (wins) equals unwatchable football. If Shadeur gets a W here sports yakkers across the spectrum will be confused, angry and urine-stained. Well, more urine-stained than usual. Will someone please donate a viable offensive line to Jeanty please? Las Vegas is going to ruin yet another naive kid from Idaho. What’s the O/U on Garrett’s sack number, 3.5?
Jags/Cards:
Barring a big surprise Jax is going to be 7-4 and still no one will take them seriously. Every week I ask, “Which Jags team is going to show up?” Prison G. is 2-3 in his last five and sports a 5 TD, 3 INT line-so he’s certainly not the key to their won/loss record. So, I’ll say it again, piling up wins early in the season is absolutely crucial, especially if you experience a mid-season swoon.
Eagles/Cowboys:
Is Philly the worst 8-2 team in the league? Eagles fans seem to think so-they appear to be waiting for the other cleat to drop. “Why aren’t they winning the exact same way they did last year?” seems to be the refrain I hear over and over again. Boo-Hoo, try being a fan on any other team in the division this year. Some folks just can’t handle success, smh.
Falcons/Saints:
Nothing at stake. Nothing worth watching. Unless you’re invested in Shough’s development but then again, you’re probably not his dad.
Type away, minions!
Charlie Kirk is watching this game go into OT and he is smiling from ear to collarbone to ear.
Ironically, I traded Derrick Henry to Litre for Barkley because Henry kept fumbling.
And Jameison Williams who is in the witness protection plan
I also got Mike Evans, who played one game and died.
All in all, not a great trade.
Go Birds
Goddammit, Jagauras. Could you play just a little competent defense? FFS
“Are you not entertained?”
I fucking hate Kevin Patullo so much. You cockfaced fuck, go into protect mode all the fucking tim and then this fucking happens you cock. Throw the fucking football you cunt.
PAY GEORGE PICKENS ALL THE MONIES!!!
Welcome to my personal Super Bowl. The second game between these two is always an event.
https://bsky.app/profile/christianfinnegan.bsky.social/post/3m6ctah2iek2o
The left testicle smells musty, you should get that checked out.
SHANK’LOR is bipartisan in Philadelphia tonight.
The Gods demand a 2-tie team!
I’m like “Oh good, they threw to Barkley; I can use those points” and then remembered that Blax in on pace for 160+ and this week is over.
Time to drink. More, since I conned Mrs. Horatio into going to a brewery after we finished Xmas shopping.
I didn’t even know i had a team until Week 4.
Thanks, I feel so much better.
The Cincinnati Bengals are tied with the Cleveland Browns.
The Cincinnati Bengals are tied with Shedeur Sanders.
Redshirt, put that gun down RIGHT NOW.
[picks gun up]
Dude, the Raiders just *lost* to Shedeur Sanders. By multiple scores. At home.
At least let me go first.
sirianni wants to finish 15-2 and still have the entire city of philly want to kill him
Big goals. LOFTY goals.
Iggles are fucking around again.
But lookin’ sharp in those classic greens!
And finding out
i for one look forward to our military adventurism in venezuela so i can hear “it will be over by christmas” and see all the youtube history dads do the leo dicaprio pointing meme en masse
and possibly see a new dubya speedrun wr posted!
“Kicking is too easy!”
HAIL SHANK’LOR
Well, that is probably the strangest cow milking I’ve ever done in a video game
I see. And in which game would you say you experienced the most unremarkable session?
We need at least a top 5 list.
There (isn’t) a mock draft topic!
https://bsky.app/profile/dannyheifetz.bsky.social/post/3m6dg3ad3ck2n
I swear to fuck, I almost made a JaMarcus Russell comp when writing up today’s “effort.” Instead, I went with Akili Smith.
Ex Calgary Stampeder Akili Smith!
Local Boy!
Wonder how much context is required after blurting out in therapy “I watched Kirk Cousins voluntarily”.
Dude, if you want to e-mail me your drunk review of the contest, I will copy it into the morning thread. Viva!
✅
RTD’s Raiders game was the Cousins-led Falcons manufacturing some sort of victory of LV when Kirk was clearly ded.
“I enjoy watching Cousins throwing the balls around.”
shank’lor sighting in Nola. Praise be 😑
Theorem: I’m impaired
Proof: /switches to ATL @ NO
I got a Billy Graham commercial.
Did that Iggles player say ‘boo’?
Oof. Eagles game ain’t worth moar viruses
Flipped to LOLCOWBOYS from Redzone, laughter is balm for the soul and my soul is HELLA BALMED!
SHANK’HLOR smiles on the Jaguras briefly by pushing the Qards kick to the right.
Chad Die-land, is more like it.
My brain regarding avatar:
23% – web profile
76% – what happened after the Fire Nation attacked
0.9% – miscellaneous
0.1% – anything zJames Cameron adjacent
I thought the original was the movie version of a Lisa Frank trapper keeper
I dig
In my 29(?) years of playing fantasy Gibbs’ 49.9 points is the most I’ve ever had a player score.
I got over 50 once from Cam Newton, but yeah, that’s rarified territory
Hippo ain’t even checking score.
My best was that bonkers Joseph Addai game where he scored like 5 TD. I think he managed 60+
Whippin’ my ass
I can’t recall the total but Jonathan Taylor a few seasons ago had some eye-popping totals for one championship in the late, lamented Gratuitous Simpsons Reference League.
Mmm aplos mocktail with a tot of rum, delish
This is fun!
Yes, Jerry Jones, you are responsible for this.
God, tell me this is a paternity episode on the Jerry Springer Show.
A very Paulsian fumble by Jeudy there.
That Jeudy fumble happened before me most leaisirely stroll I’ve seen in mid field
I started Jeudy. That’s how my day’s going.
the cowboys are here for our amusement and nothing more
They are only here because the NFL was tired of people giggling when they’d say “The Eagles are playing with themselves”.
Imagine paying actual money in the year of our lord 2025 to watch the New Orleans Saints play football in person.
I totally would! But I say this as someone who is nawt a saints fan and would be going to check out the stadium and gameday atmosphere
Agreed. Who would go to New Orleans, check out the architecture and the bars, only to ruin the trip by watching Pro-MAC Football.
It is so much fun! We went to a couple of games there.
It’s the best. I’ve seen 2 games there. Nicest fans anywhere.
After prime time you get late night, so I guess the question is just whether Shedeur is mediocre comedian late night or shamwow informercial late night.
?v=1616704924
btw: shamwow guy is running for congress. golden age of con artists
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/shamwow-guy-launches-congressional-run/ar-AA1QZQ8b
Didn’t he, like, bite a hooker’s face off or something?
So running as a republican then
yep!
he probably would not be the first congressman to do so?
Typical Eagles fan’s Xmas wish list:
1 gross batteries (D Cell)
1 get out of jail free card (can be used for assault and battery or domestic abuse charge)
Two cheesesteaks delivered to emergency room
Four free tickets to Flyers game
2 bags of Oxy
All delivered by a Santa drunk on ruby port and mad dog
PRAISE SHAN’KHLOR (in Vegas)!
Gambl0r made this more tense than expected
Tee Higgins died after my Anytime TD bet. I’m taking it as a sign to take a week or two off.
Looks like a fun crowd at the Saints game, I guess they’ve accepted they’re crap and are just enjoying the potential for some good moments inherent in this matchup, very healthy!
Waiter: “Good evening sir, tonight’s selection is Browns vs. Raiders.”
Me: “Can I make a substitue?”
Waiter: “Yes sir, you can substitue a kick in the balls with a punch in the balls.”
Oldest son took my car to the game.
Me: “So, how is she doing/’
Son: “My girlfriend is fine.”
Me: “No, dummy. How is the car doing?”
Hippo’s TV is off. BLECH.
Prison girlfriend committing a Cardinal sin
people had daniel jones as mvp at one point
Good, I’ve been spared from perverse watching Raiders-Browns.
I just saw the KOTW and hoo boy that’s a good one Lemonjello.
I’m down by 75 points in Freezer League.
It could be worse. I mean not much worse, but still.
Well yes, I could be down by 75 points AND be on fire.
NEW ENGLAND IS 10-2
WE AHHH WINNING ANOTHAH SUPAH BOWL!!!
NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
Is Mrs. Maestro getting induced tomorrow ?
Baby Brady is on his/her way?!?!!
C-section tomorrow. Kid is tracking at 10+ lbs. Hospital says it’s our only option.
Whopper! I had a 9 1/2 pounder, 24 hours of labor before the C-section. You are doing it the right way!
Easy, Andy Reid, no one wants to hear about your meal before Britt wad born.
By God that’s Decilitre’s music!
An offensive lineman will be born tomorrow.
The all-DFO team will beat the crap out of all the other peewee teams!
WE’AH HAVE BEEN WAHTING FORYA YEARS FOR THIS! WE DESERVE THIS!
My wife is a Shedeur Sanders fan, divorce court should be a hands down win.