Worlds Collide, And It Isn’t Pretty

This was a good game many a moon ago but each of these teams are on an express elevator. The Pats are headed up and the Giants are looking for the sub-sub basement.

Flotsam and Jetsam:

-I Asked For Over-Easy!: That’s probably the best response Philly’s OC Kevin Patullo could have given after learning that his house was egged. (Litre was here the whole time) I’d wager that Eagles fans can’t afford toilet paper, if they even know what it is.

-So Long, Solid White Guy: Adam Thielen asked for and was given his release from the Vikes so that he could perhaps be picked up by a team that is making the playoffs. At 35, I’m sure he has no complaints, he had a good run and was hella smart signing with the Panthers and proving he wasn’t washed, prolonging his career an extra 3(?) seasons at least. Smart guy.

-Empty (Death) Threat: The Titans Special Teamer Julius Chesnutt claimed that a Jags player said he was going to ‘kill him’ during a skirmish. C’mon Julius, extreme rhetoric in your country has been cranked beyond 11 and you pass that on to reporters? Besides, the player spewing venom was a punter! When was the last time anyone took a punter seriously?

To The Game!

Giants/Pats:

-I figured that this was a done deal for New England but then Carolina won yesterday and then I got to thinking about the energy Dart brings to the offense and now I’m filled with 3% hope.

-With New York having a new DC, one might figure that a few blitzes and stunts may be a part of the game plan. It didn’t get more vanilla than with the last guy. [spits on ground] Honestly, there’s a ton of talent on the d-line, plenty in the secondary and the linebacker corps? They’ll be on the field, bless their hearts.

-Is Maye still getting some of that sweet, sweet MVP nectar from sportswriters? Seems like the bloom is off the rose there despite his exceptional play.

-One reason the Pats O has exceeded expectations is that the offensive line has been injury-free for the vast majority of the year. Until now-two starters are down and another is hobbled

Get at it.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, I’m off to the other side of the world for a while. Don’t burn down the clubhouse without me.

Doktor Zymm

Don’t worry, I rigged it so the beer tap shuts off the gas

Doktor Zymm

Going through my paper books slower than usual, due to the previously mentioned lack of mass market paperbacks. The damn things are huge and don’t fit in my purse or any of my pockets so I can’t easily carry them around with me. I’m stuck playing dumb games on my phone or staring off into space whenever I sit down for a rest or take public transit somewhere. Not ideal.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFmKj1n5wBQ

I regert nothing. NOTHING. (immediately regerts video not posting correctly)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UdmliU3EnI

Last edited 3 months ago by WCS
Senor Weaselo
Unsurprised

Luckily I didn’t miss anything going to see a movie instead of the second half.

SonOfSpam

How was “Wicked 2: These Creeps Are Even Skinnier!”

BugEyedBoo

My daughter, after a Wicked: For Good commecial was on, said out of nowhere, “These people all have eating disorders.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah but she said the same thing about Cannibal Holocaust and it turned out it was all fake anyways so how can we possibly trust her judgment on these things? Or yours as a parent for letting her watch it in the first place like seriously man what the heck is wrong with you?

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait and I debated on getting tickets to this game with her brother and his fiancée. We all met at a bar instead. I think we made the wise choice. Happy drinking for me, Drinking to the draft pick for the other 3.

WCS

Missed all the game it seems. Not sure I’m thrilled that New England is cromulent again.

Mr. Ayo

Well, that was way too close for comfort.

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Doktor Zymm

So close!

Doktor Zymm

If only Zay Flowers had gotten even one point…

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I forgot that Russell Wilson is on the VEP. Imagine getting benched for a Jart

Redshirt

The Heist isn’t working exactly as planned.

IMG_2588
Senor Weaselo

¿Por qué no los dos?

Gatoraids

scheming for a way to lure the more embarrassing Devito on the field in the 2nd half and take out his ACL

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The only other person I’ve seen who could pull off that look was Cynthia Rothrock.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Damnit…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bonus!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Damnit, I’m not sure *either* of those is actually Cynthia Rothrock. Anyhow, you get my point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So as I compile music for the 120 Minutes Playlist Project I often run into band and album names that give rise to…unsavory search results. I should have kept track of them. Tonight I made the terrible, terrible mistake of looking for the A-House album “On Our Big Fat Merry-Go-Round” by doing a search for “a-house big fat”.

litre_cola

Whoever is Ryan Clark’s stylist is an idiot. He always looks like a clown or a pimp.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’ll show you what it really means to get decleated.” – Giants kick returner to Giants kicker (paraphrased from his original statement of “my pudding depends on the coconut washing machine kitten.”)

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Giants QB is still looking for his cleats from earlier

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shan’khlor is very confused right now, as is DOINK, over whose province that field goal “attempt” falls into. They’re talking about getting the lawyers involved.

Mr. Ayo

Look, Koo just kicked the wrong, much bigger, ball.

Unsurprised

Kraft looks like an aged Quasimodo

Brocky

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Redshirt

🎮

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Senor Weaselo

Me to Padre Weaselo, who just walked in: “Do you want to see the worst field goal attempt of all time?”
PW: “Can’t be worse than the Jets.”

SonOfSpam

Bumper music, Bad Company, except just Bad.

Mr. Ayo

I’m going to lose to the Doktor because of that stupid kick that goes down as a sack and a 4 down stop.

SonOfSpam

Her KooKorrupter machine must be online.

Mr. Ayo

Oh shit, they took the sack away and saved my bacon.

Redshirt

Does deloping count as a field goal miss?

Unsurprised

What are the fucking odds?

SonOfSpam

Pretty good if Nina Hartley is in the room.

Senor Weaselo

Turf DOINK!

NotShogunButShogun

Wire DOINK?

Unsurprised

For a second he looked just like the cartoon image of Rex Grossman to a T (for throwing it DEEP)

Don T

Having a hard time login in to the game,despite doing my best with the infected laptop.*

* restarting constantly and pleading “Baby, the rest can have my bank and credit card info. You get my total devotion, no adblockers

/strokes numerical pad up and down”

jjfozz

Pasta was served in my house tonight with meatballs. As we sat to eat I noticed there was a splash of sauce on the wall and floorboard, along with two strands of pasta. Not one of my fuckhead children owned up to dropping it.

Redshirt

At least it wasn’t the ceiling?

SonOfSpam

At least I can mark off “Italian guy’s house is covered in red sauce and noodles” on my Stereotype Bingo Card.

Unsurprised

Alright. Now it’s a ballgame.

Senor Weaselo

Did the Patriots think they were playing the Jets?

fleshwound_NPG

no, it would be 28-0 now if that were the case

Redshirt

Rout’s on.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Of course my router is on, how else would I be streaming this beating

SonOfSpam

lookit these kids, thinking shortening router to rout is dope and fresh

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

*fetch

SonOfSpam

Stop trying to make fetch happen

jjfozz

“IF THAT BITCH DOESN’T STAY IN HER FUCKING LANE I’M GONNA RUN HER RIGHT THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD!”

That was me post meeting with someone who not only was telling me my job, but talking over me as I was speaking.

I’ve had it. My boss is gonna get his ear bent tomorrow morning.

Redshirt

If they are not your direct supervisor or your supervisor’s supervisor, it’s an informed suggestion.

jjfozz

He’s promised to talk to her about it. Hasn’t happened. i’m going to insist it happens tomorrow.

Unsurprised

Document correspondence. Past recollection recorded. Offsite backups. CY-fucking-A

Redshirt

Ignore her ass. Ghost her. Eventually she’ll freak out and get in trouble.

Redshirt

I’m all for defending your QB but don’t shoot your team in the foot doing it (insert Plaxico Burress joke here). If you don’t like it, hit their QB just as hard.

Mr. Ayo

Dart is going to be Dust at this rate

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Haha. You suck #84

Gumbygirl

Of course he does, he’s on my team.

fleshwound_NPG

jim mcmahon speedrun wr now in jeopardy

Unsurprised

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

SonOfSpam

How do you start a fight defending a Jaxson?

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Game over?
/dans le notebook

Redshirt

Very Special TD!

Gumbygirl

I just want a high scoring game. I have Diggs, the Giants running back and TE, can’t remember either of their names
(weed), and I’m down by around 23 points. I’m getting relegated, but I would like to at least finish ahead of Zymm! The Patriots are wearing their good unis, so I’ll root for them

Last edited 3 months ago by Gumbygirl
SonOfSpam

Girls Gone Relegated is a slightly lesser video series

NotShogunButShogun

After the extended weekend, this game is like the last bar rag sopping up at 3am with that one pearljam song playing. Y’know…the mumbly one!

Gumbygirl

The one about the wizard on a wave?

NotShogunButShogun

Exactly!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bob Dole?

Unsurprised

Oh fuck me. I didn’t realize coming to see the game at a bar would expose me to these two fucking dimwits spreading ear AIDScancer.

Redshirt

Slip a roofie into their drinks. If you just do it to knock them out and that’s it, I think you’re okay.

(NOT A LAWYER, DON’T DO IT!)

Unsurprised

If I could do that to Troy and Joe I would have years ago.

Gumbygirl

Who wouldn’t?

BC Dick

I wouldn’t stop at knocking them out

Gumbygirl

I think he’s talking about Joe and Troy.

Unsurprised

Sorry. I meant the onscreen dickheads

fleshwound_NPG

“…playing like an mvp.”

you know who else was an mvp candidate, playing like one? danny derps a few weeks ago

Unsurprised

Indiana Jones fell into a pit of snakes

Redshirt

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Derp

Unsurprised

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Gravy

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Gloom

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Indiana Jones and the Lost Crusade

Don T

Equity starts at home. Pass your drunk driving tips to your daughters.

Don T

I don’t care what the Divine Comedy says. Love is not found in the yearning, but in the actual violence. Related: Daylight savings time is toying with my football readiness

Redshirt

Either his account was hacked or firing their head coach is the 2nd worst thing Penn State has done.

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King Hippo

There’s rumoUrs continuing that Paedo State is gonna go with Daboll. Which would be funnier than hayell.

Don T

I think I fucked up my back exercising today. Therefore, fuck everything. Just perfected the White Tariff
-TARIFF Whisky*
-slightly less amount of milk
-dash of cinnamon ‘cause pffffffft + DEC
-mix then ice

* Dewars White Label. There was a bottle of J&B that was cheaper, but dint want to chsnnel a former life that ended in the early 70s

Redshirt

DFO PSA:

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ballsofsteelandfury

I really wish that was real.

Unsurprised

The evolution of public discourse being what it is, it will be by February.

Don T

As it should be ✊🏼

Doktor Zymm

Despite an excellent start I’ve been having a really difficult time with jetlag this trip. I wonder if it’s just getting older or if drinking less has something to do with it as well?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Our trip to Spain wrecked us like never before in terms of jet lag. But then six months later London was a piece of cake. So it could just be a fluke for you.

Doktor Zymm

I’m wondering if winter has something to do with it as well, with the shorter days, although hasn’t been a problem before. The real culprit might actually be the street lamp I had outside my window the first 3 nights.

Doktor Zymm

The VEP could totally be next year’s surprise team, they’ve got the shitty 4th quarter losses that characterized the Bears last year and the knack for picking up rookie talent. Just nawt so much on the staying healthy bit or the inspirational new leadership bit. But that could show up next year.

But yeah, this game they’re boned and I hope the NE defense gets 15+ points so my zombie team in Freezer Vodka can eat some flesh

Redshirt

Some of it is just trying too hard. Dart not sliding just to get 3 extra yards. Skattebo choosing to make a hole instead of rerouting his run. Players and fans do enjoy players that do that, but those hits add up, and they have.

Mr. Ayo

SOB! That return TD just killed me. Congrats!