Those were two doozies, weren’t they? (I’ve no idea)
To The Game!
Chargers/Pats:
-What do Mayes and Herbert have in common? The both have ZERO playoffs wins. They have two games between them but still.
-Of all teams left in the playoffs L.A. has allowed the fewest air yards. Of the QB’s left in the AFC, Mayes has the most completed passes of over 20 yards. That’s a lot of chunk plays, baby. He completed those at a 50% clip btw.
-Surprisingly, all three of the Pats losses were at home. Those games that they did win they outscored opponents by 90 points.
-The Chargers D ended the season in the top five in forcing three and outs.
-Since coming back from injury rookie running back Omarion Hampton has been averaging 14.5 rush attempts per game. Look for that number to increase today as his team looks to dictate the tempo by slowing the game to a crawl.
-Since week ten the Chargers offense is bottom three in points per drive.
It’s all you.
lol just as soon as cris was starting to dig his paws deep into drake’s jock
SUDDEN BOLT CHANGE!
The local ads are kind of funny, slogan is “Bolt Up”.
Hey hey. I’m just here to say fuck Vrabe.
And manifest trudging from couch to bed within a coupla hours.
But counterpoint, fuck Spanos?
Mmm. In recomsideration, 🎶Qué será, será. Whatever will be [etc etc]🎶
I thought Tennessee ownership shitcanned Vrabel?
I vote for showing The Mystery Spot in the next 49ers home game
Intel Museum is walking distance
At the very least, they should show Great America. It’s literally next door.
Closing after summer 2027 so only works for one season though
Say hi to Ozzie Smith!
Santa Cruz sucks donkey dick and The Mystery Spot is a sham
Fifteen-foot gold Tahmmy.
Kinda…freaky.
Two seconds left in the half…
Vrabel seems to be the smartest coach in the playoffs
It’s been a pretty low bar so far, but Vrabel is a good coach.
the bar was exactly as low as the one belichick had to clear every year
This game is our payment for three great playoff games.
Wait until tomorrow!
“We’re kind of slow, today, Redshirt. Why don’t you take the rest of the night off so you can enjoy the football game.”
“No, I’m good.”
Wait till the inevitable Patriots-Steelers AFC Championship game!
Wee maestro is now awake
Shockingly no. I think he still has a little bit more maturing to do to find the joy in watching a defensive chess match.
This game has grown tiresome. I will NOT be inviting it to touch my monkey.
Wow, the Chargers’ O-line is absolute ass.
They’re on like their 7th and 8th choice OTs, I think
There were two 15 yard penalties on that sack of Herbert.
Some home cooking for the Massholes.
goodell: *unfollows chiefs*
also goodell: *refollows greatriots*
All TV football commentary is pointless. You can see each play with your own eyes and all relevant information like down, distance, time, is clearly displayed on screen. What purpose do these yamokes serve?
It’s spelled “yarmulkes” smh
Jabronies
Thank you, that was the one I couldn’t think of at the time
I guess we were bound to get a turd sometime this weekend.
-Quality Control workers at the Hershey plant, having a bad Saturday
Wait until tomorrow night! !
Yinz meen the 53-3 beetdown da Stillers our gonna pull on dem Hooston Oiler bums?!? lol STILLERS GON TO SUPERBWL lol godbless
I’m looking forward to seeing Qaaron possibly decapitated
That’s one of those plays that would benefit from cartoon sound effects
ABOUT TIME, HARBAUGH, YOU DUMB FUCK!
dunno what is gonna be lower, the 4th down conversion % this weekend or the dow tomorrow
As much as I would like to retire I hope it’s the Dow, because the only thing Americans give a fuck about is their pocketbooks.
true, even indiana went blue for an african-american democrat from chicago in 2008!
INDIANA!
I have never owned a pocketbook in my life.
A wallet is a type of pocketbook
I thought that song in the Farmer’s Dog ad sounded vaguely familiar, so I looked it up. It’s by the Troggs. I am ancient.
The annoying thing about the Spanish broadcasts is that it actually makes me have to listen to them because my Spanish isn’t what it used to be and I never listened to American football commentary before. So, I guess I’m saying, at least no one watching the English version is ESL and suffering for intently listening to these diseased assholes.
Listening also makes it harder to multitask even to mae dick jokes. Eh
Showing Fenway during Pats games is akin to showing the Golden Gate Bridge during 49ers games.
Or literally anyplace they show during Rams’ games.
Hollywood sign?
Disneyland?
Santa Monica Pier?
Sure, all right here in Inglewood.
At least those are in the same time zone.
Depends on traffic
You can easily get to all those places in
1590 minutes.Levi’s to the Golden Gate is about 75 minutes with non-rush hour traffic
There’s a nice cemetery next to SoFi.
Ugh, I hate – so much – the ‘city landmarks everyone should identify major cities with’ that’s been overused in media for decades
They’d be more accurate showing that wreck of a ballpark in Pawtucket, RI, although they may have finally torn that thing down.
They should use the Winchester Mystery House for Niners games
Can’t wait for all the thrown fish next Saturday in Seattle.
FINALLY A COACH THAT REALIZES THE VALUE OF 3 POINTS!!
Kick early, go for it late! Unless its 4th & 1 and your offensive line has been good or you are on the one, but only if after you tell your offense to get you six points, you turn to your defense and tell them to get two points, if they fail.
Clown sports character on local Phoenix fm wrote a piece that, I assume, is echoed nation-wide. His message is: ASU can do what Indiana did. You got a good coach (Who doesn’t think they do?) So just hit the portal and get the right guys.
I said this when NIL went off — you’re not going to have places for young athletes. Why would a coach want a sophomore when he can have a senior? In any era? Now we’re taking throwaway oil money mentality to the annual “pursuit of the National Championship.”
The real problem is that colleges act and think like Jerry Jones.
Nice catch by Chism. I guess Manjowder and Sploog are hurt.
And Pearljam has been on IR since Week 8.
(really had a difficult time with that comment; there are not enough good synonyms for spunk)
So if I make plays on your mom, I’m a leader!
“Aww man, why do I have to be in jail?”
– Mark Sanchez
Harbaugh’s a big right-wing God boy, so I’m rooting for the Patriots to leave Harbaugh saying “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?”
But the Pats owner is too, right? And also a sex-slave abusing sleaze bag?
I think we can assume everyone is shit and leave morals out of the cheering equation.
THAT PLAY DOESN’T WORK FOR THE PATS. NO ONE DENIES THIS
Pentagon Begs Shop to Stop Sending Butt Plugs to Military Personnel
Whatever you do, do not send Butt Plugs to 1400 Defense Pentagon, Washington, DC 20301!
Such a waste….
I used to go into there 3-4x a week. Every fucking Pentagon cop deservers three of these to be shoved up his/her respective ass. Biggest fucking assholes I’ve ever dealt with.
“Think of the children!”
-Catholic priests in DC
Why would anyone watch Fear Factor?
well, I know I always WISHED AND PRAYED to maybe heave even MOAR goddamned snake-based nightmares.
Snakes are awesome, control the rodent population, and are far more afraid of you than you are of them.
An outside snake is a good snake. An inside snake is a ded Hippo.
I don’t think snakes actually feel fear. But they definitely seem to prefer to mind their own business.
Edit: now it’s snakes in gif form!
It was clever when Last Crusade did it, but putting the creation of EVERY Indy tic and trope into one twenty minute scene of one half-day’s events was the death of franchise cinema.
Have you seen what roughly 30% on America thinks is cool?
My daughter loved Fear Factor! Her 13th birthday party was Fear Factor-themed. Me? It was always, “I’m not watching that.”
Compared to the things a 13 year old girl has to be afraid of in the real world, Fear Factor is a big fat nothingburger.
Most of what they have people eat or drink is arguably healthier and safer than what 90% of Americans consume.
I remember hearing an interview of Rogan about his time there and he said, “I was high as shit during every episode. I had to be.”
That tracks, you can’t spell “high” without H-G-H.
We had friends in Orange County that watched that idiotic (and clearly magnetically rigged) Holey Moley show as a family and had lots of fun doing it. I could see Fear Factor having a similar appeal, especially since you’ve got a million clips of Jackass stuff that could fill in the gaps during commercials.
man, the 4th down conversion % and points left on the board this weekend
This is why I say the “math” is bullshit. The playoffs are way different than the regular season.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was inventing sabermetrics and sports analytics.
FIELD GOALS ARE FOR WEIRDOS AND LOSERS YOU WEIRD LOSER!! DM ME “LOSERS” TO SIGN UP FOR MY $140k PROGRAM TO LEARN MORE!
How about enter LOSERS for a Fanduel wager boost?
Ah, the Eagles subreddit is calling for the Head of Jalen. Never change, you asswipes.
See? Classic nil-nil right here
I guess inflation is so bad that 3 points are not worth what they used to…
inflation is bad now, but whatever you do, dont look at dow futures right now
Inflation is a libral hoax!
FUCK FUCK FUCK
NEVER MIND WE’RE CHILLIN’
How’s the new guy doing? Composing his first symphony?
He’s asleep on the couch! 7 weeks old tomorrow and 13 lbs already. If he keeps growing like this he’ll be a nose tackle for sure!!
Bruiser!
Disaster averted (for now)
Please, someone, spit fire Colinsworth over a roaring fire and feed him to a pack of diseased hyenas.
Haven’t the sick hyenas suffered enough?!
Not as much as we have
“Eww. No thank you. I have some standards.”
-Diseased Hyena
I have a new rule proposal for the NFL: Any time a team pretends they’re going for it on 4th and short, but instead just fucks around trying to daw the defense offsides, if the play isn’t successful the head coach gets shot in the foot.
If it happens a second time then the next one is in the dick.
I was gonna go other foot, but sure, why not?
It still amazes me that you guys all watch the Collinsworth games with the volume on.
Well his voice got my son to fall asleep, so that’s a win.
and now your own, bellowed FACK!!! has no doubt awoken him
That’s not the point. Also HOW ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE
Like the Holy Spirit, Hippo is everywhere. Just not as well-meaning.
It lets me multitask, if Collinsworth is talking I don’t have to pay attention, when it goes back to Tirico I should look up and watch the game. It’s easy enough to tune out exactly what he’s saying and sometimes his dumb shit is funny
It’s been three minutes since New England returned to the postseason, and I’m already miserable.
I feel like this game should end in a Draw, and there be a mid-week replay in Compton.
No one in their right mind is interviewing Josh McDaniels for another HC position, Cris.
So naturally he’ll be the next HC of the Dallas Cowboys.
Oh good – I thought Collinsworth had forgotten how to properly fluff the Patriots. Patrick Mahomes probably feels like a scorned lover right now.
I don’t even know what I want to happen in this game, go Boltmen I guess?
I was tinkering and caught the Sky feed of last game for a hot second. The Brits had better ads, but more importantly, I still manage to catch myself in grudging awe of how thoroughly American culture just dominates the world.
dont you dare even suggest that pats fans are suffering a playoff win “drought”
Next, they’re going to say the Yankees are “due”
not even kickoff and even cris has a mountain to climb to say the dumbest thing during this broadcast
I only hope the hellmouth beneath Gillette Stadium opens sometime during this game.
fuck spanos, but triple fuck boston
Whoa
The Fed Chairman makes official statement that the President is using criminal charges to threaten him over monetary policy.
It’s Happening This Year
After having to admit I was wrong and my friend who was bitching about inflation during the first W administration was right because the Fed has just been printing free money for banks, hedge funds, and VCs to prop up the economy so that GDP went up moving imaginary numbers around while manufacturing has stagnated for the last TWENTY FIVE years (what a coincidence, eh) and life expectancy has gone down more years than it’s gone up in the last decade and and and …
My point is that all of the Fed since Greenspan was first appointed should be in prison. So, I’m conflicted.
BTW, if you want to know what the U.S. will look like in ten years, the government and its owners have been doing to the U.S. what the U.S. did to Russia in the 1990s. Chickens. Roost. Etc.
Except no one is coming to save the U.S. like Putin saved Russia. So we’re actually going to end up like Ukraine, which is fucking hilariously ironic.
Since Greenspan? You can lay the Great Recession squarely at his feet.
sirianni is gonna be the ditka of this age, an angry meathead with one dominant run with a random ring, but ditka never really had a heathy qb.
hes one more one and done away from going 4-6 in the acc every year
Apparently this was a real event that happened!???
Lmao
dammit not b dawk
“World’s #1 Motivational Speaker Nick Something or Other!”
That is really a murderers row of faith and motivation and you can get rich quick too the old fashioned way: through pure horseshit.
Ditka is still Jebus-Buddha-Yehweh in Chicago.
Sirianni would be peed on by any and all Philadelphian.
There is a difference.
ditka was once hated in philly, too!
actually, hated three times!
(poor showing in philly, played for dallas, arch nemesis of buddy ryan)
Technical point, if Sirianni was on fire they wouldn’t pee on him as that might put the fire out
Chargers over the Pats doesn’t seem like the reach that it was a mere 5 hours ago.
I’m in the tank for the Boltmen today.
I couldn’t get a pic to post-anyone that wants to insert something-feel free.
-JD Vance unzips as he struts over to one of the Oval Office couches
Done, but now I have to undo it thanks to Getty Images.
Goddamn copyright laws.
Much better.
.
That Bert is a bad, bad Muppet. Don’t mess with him
The main ingredient is vegetable oil.
Good thing I had leftover lamb for dinner!
Someone has to subsidize all those corn and soybean farming corporations in Iowa.
Not worth the handout to dumb fat worthless farmer.