Somebody should have had this up quite some time ago so this’ll be short and sweet.
Some sports that you may want to partake before the first feature includes:
Scotties Tournament of Hearts-Your dear old Uncle Skeevy sure does like the attractive, athletic girl next door type and there’s plenty on tap here.
No Men’s ranked college basketball teams are playing today! Huh. The Sillycuse women’s team is playing. They’re 16-3 yet are not ranked. Is anyone addressing this travesty?
The high-flying Avalanche are playing the [spits on ground] Maple Leafs at 1pm EST.
FC Barcelona is playing Real Oviedo.
Of interest to a few of the clubhouse members, Chelsea, Man U and Newcastle are on tap. (see what I did?)
Oh Redshirt, did you hear that your beloved Ohio State [stifles a guffaw] hired [snorts] that wonderful [giggles] Arthur Smith. [holds stomach while laughing out loud]
To The Game!
Pats/Broncos:
-Quite the achievement by Vrabel to get this far in his first year. What were the Titans thinking? He was making a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.
-Say a prayer for Stidham-not the greatest position to be in.
-The weather is supposed to be around -3 for game time. This will be the only time anyone mentions it. Will Erin Andrews be wearing fur?
-The Pats are favored by 5.
-Both the Pats O (rushing and passing) and the Broncos D (same) are all ranked in the top 7.
Have at it.
Terrible punt to start in plus territory? Can’t wait to see how this one falls apart!
I can’t see the ball on that punt
It’s slippy aht.
Knowing FGs are off the menu, they should take a safety here
SEE?
Might be time to get the long cleats out.
“ChatGPT, how do I make sure I don’t quit running this year?”
CGPT: “…is this a trick question? Get off your ass and go running every day.”
Now is the time to kill the Pats Donks. DO IT
This is not the classic match the three hours of pregame told me it would be.
The weather adds a fun element (this pun was not intended) to it thought.
Broncos really missing Jay Cutler whos used to playing with impaired vision
YOU try convincing a cat to go out in the snow. He’s fine just pissing behind the couch, thanks.
He didn’t care about the weather.
Or anything else.
Maybe dial back the cute, Fatty?
PJ needs the ball in space. Let them smooth hips do the rest.
In space? Like famed astronaut, Katy Perry?
Is he banging the remaining Trudeau brother?
He still owes us a little softshoe
Just me, or was Maye grabbing at his knee after that sack?
He’s the new Johnny Tremain!
Oh that is a deep cut.
Donks need a turnover at some point.
“Join the club!”
-Andy Reid, rooting through the dumpster behind Dunkin’ Donuts
Finally back into this sumbitch. Anyways, it’s snowing to beat the band across the whole dang continent right now it seems
Still 2 safeties wins this mofo
The weather here in New England is worse than in Denver.
But it’s getting close!
You hafta catch that ball.
I would be cool with blizzard OT
That would be ROCKING!
It’s beginning to feel a lot like DONKS-maaaasssss
/except it isn’t
Yay, snow!
Boo, score.
Motherfuck New England.
If they’re going to do a shitty job frumping up a hot actress they could’ve just gone with Sydney Sweeney or some fill-blown supermodel like one of the women (including Queen Charlize) from Fury Road.
I go snowshoeing for a couple of hours and the whole site falls apart.
What are you people even doing to that hamster?
They usually only live for two or three years. We should probably stop necromancing this one and just get a new one
We have the contract with the Necromancers’ Union though.
Ask Lowratio. We learned it from him
I haven’t seen him since he went out to shovel a couple of hours ago.
I should probably check that oddly shaped hump in the middle of the driveway.
Richard Gere runs for cover . . .
17:22 EST and we’re back…
MAYBE
And snow game!
Big fish, little fish
Into the 4th quarter
Saw the script for the Odyssey with Matt Damon:
“WE DESERAVH TA WIN THA TROJAN WAH! NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
Every Nolan movie is worse than the last.
“Hey, Hectah, how d’ya like them fahckin’ apples?”
As someone who was Odysseus for the trial of Odysseus, which was something we did in class, I want to play Odysseus for this.
Shankhl’or with the wind beneath the wings
Romo and Collinsworth over the Niagra
Place-ment-MISS!!
Field goal? Neigh!
I listen to Last Podcast on the Left, but i would gladly pay to kill Henry Zabrowski with a ball peen hammer. he’s the most unfunny motherfucker since Genghis Khan
“They’re down snow.”
A mind is a terrible thing to waste, Tony.
Forgot to mention I’m taking my Dothraki clan to the Virgin Islands in April. They’re gonna have to rename that place after we’re done with it.
“The Now I’ve Seen Everything Islands.”
If you go to St. John check out Skinny Legs. Best burgers on the island and such a great, laid back vibe.
noted
Yes, we were down for almost a full hour, but it doesn’t really feel like we missed anything much.
My wife cooked some very bad sourdough bread, I’ll have you know!
/hey, everybody has to start somewhere
this game leaving the fans yearning for the flag football probowl mines
“Winter is here.”
Thanks Tony, I don’t know how you do it.
The number of weather games this playoff has been enjoyable. I hope it pours during the Super Bowl
Were back! With that DFO timeout I made Bun Cha, Vietnamese meatballs.
salmon , baked potato and spinnach, need to work in some chips and dips in the night game with a guilt buffer
“Oh, you should try my recipe”
-J. Dahmer
Can’t believe CBS didn’t set up a camera in John Elway’s paddock to get his in-game reactions. A real lost Budweiser marketing crossover there.
As always, whenever his name is mentioned, “Fuck that asshole.”
Also news: My hair and beard are super green.
I am ridiculous.
Enjoy! BeerBrother is already in SoDo and getting nicely toasted.
Anyone else feel like Denver’s going to regret passing on that field goal attempt?
Yes.
That 4th down play call was something speshul.
As always, hindsight dictates taking the points.
Wait the didn’t take the FG try?
That doesn’t seem rocking…..
nfl coaches stop being insane on 4th down and take the points challenge (impossible)
Truly one of the 4th downs of all time.
Broncos are doing ok! 🐎
Neat.
Hope this game is Rockingggg!!!
Does this Donk QB know he needs to not get injured?
He slid super-early the first time he scrambled, so I’m pretty sure he got the memo. He’s just decided to start ignoring it.
He started to see the dollar signs in his next contract if he actually wins this game and made a business decision.
As always, it’s not going to be a Broncos game without at least one Garrett Bolles “DA FUCK?!” penalty. That needs to be a prop bet.
“Dad, is your work closed tomorow?”
“No.”
“Well, you’re drinking like it is.”
Kids need to know when not to talk.
“And you’re the reason, son.”
That oughta do it.
Omg y’all. The same loud chucklefuck from last week just arrived to the patio. The MrsSloth and I are in tears laughing.
Romo sounds like he’s just throwing darts at an idiom board.
Or an idiot board
That’s who’s working beside him.
DONKS DAY DEFENSE