Meet the new boss, same-ish as the old boss
White smoke has been sighted in Orchard Park, and for once it’s not due to a poorly constructed oil-drum-cum-barbeque-grill. In the single most important decision pending in the United States today, the Buffalo Bills have taken a bold and innovative step in…promoting an existing guy!
WOOOOOOOOOOOO consistency!
It’s been a weird eight(?) days in Buffalo since Terry Pegula fired Sean McDermott, exercising his God-given right as an Old White Billionaire to make a vibes-based, hasty, heat-of-the-moment decision affecting the happiness of millions. Sean McDermott, the second-most successful coach in franchise history. Sean McDermott, who raised the Bills out of 17 year playoff drought BEFORE Josh Allen descended from on high. Sean McDermott, who gives motivational speeches citing 9/11 hijackers as models to emulate.
OK, so maybe not an unalloyed negative.
Firing McDermott was a stupid idea, but not an indefensible one. Firing McDermott while promoting the guy arguably more responsible for putting a hard cap on this team’s potential (Brandon Beane)? Indefensible. Firing McDermott without consulting Josh Allen to see if the team really had reached a ceiling? Indefensible. Giving an incoherent, rambling press conference afterward which only serves to confirm that you Do Not Have A Plan? Indefensible. Interviewing King Fucking Lazerface? YA BETTA ASK SOMEBODDAAAAAY if the Rooney Rule got inverted to require the interview of one completely unqualified right wing white dumbfuck for each head coaching position.
So under those circumstances, I’m actually fairly content with the promotion of Offensive Coordinator Joe Brady to head coach. Not only is he Not Philip Rivers, he is not any of the other shitty options that were left over after John Harbaugh settled for the Giants, including:
- Grant Udinski (still in diapers, one-year wonder, didn’t call plays)
- Davis Webb (still in diapers, not even an OC, didn’t call plays, is named Davis Webb)
- Nathan Scheelhaase (didn’t call plays, McVay disciple, too many vowels)
- Mike McDaniel (insane, tried to get his quarterback killed)
- Anthony Lynn (was Buffalo’s interim coach who got passed over for McDermott, flamed out spectacularly in San Diego/LA)
- Anthony Weaver (lingering stench of failure from Miami)
- Brian Daboll (is Brian Daboll).
Apparently it came down to Daboll and Brady. Daboll was the media’s choice, because the narratives write themselves- redemption story of a Western New York boy returning to where he got famous after getting beaten down in the Big City, offensive mastermind reunites with his greatest masterpiece, etc.
And to that, I say: Fuck. That. Noise.
Fuck the media. Fuck Reddit. Fuck public opinion, in fact. The world is reaping the harvest of what an obsession with storylines and narrative gets us: we are living in Interesting Times alright.
Is it possible that Brady might be a flaming failure? Sure. But Daboll has proven that he is a flaming failure. Freaks out under criticism and pressure. Takes reckless risks with his quarterback’s health. Can’t even inspire rookies to show up to meetings and stay awake. Better to take a calculated risk on the new guy.
Josh Allen seems to like Joe Brady. The rest of the offense seems to like Joe Brady. Tactically, most of his shit works, and has room to grow if Brandon Beane can get the fuck out of the way and give him a sane roster construction. Moreover, I view this as a heartening sign that Pegula realized that firing McDermott (and doing that way) was hasty and stupid. He should keep the culture (which is good!) going, just hopefully without the dumbfuckery that McDermott visited upon us multiple times per season.
Of course, the limiting factor (other than receiver) this past season was a run defense more porous than Justin Herbert’s forehead.* So watch this space for me bitching and moaning when they choose Matt Eberflus or some horseshit.
*That is a legitimate cheap shot, and I apologize. Justin Herbert is my second-favorite quarterback in the league, patron saint of introvert athletes. If Josh Allen ever leaves Western New York, I will put $15 of my own money into the Sign Justin Herbert Fund.
OTHER NEWS:
Can we get a wellness check in Pittsburgh?
As someone noted on BlueSky, Mike McCarthy looks like a Soviet Under-minister of Agriculture who was just told Comrade Stalin would like a word about last quarter’s beet production.
LATE ADDITION:
“It is all those counter-revolutionary beet farmers, Comrade! They are sabotaging the harvest and hoarding!”
The last time I saw a jokester this on fire was Richard Pryor.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/hmqT4LdalRA
You fuckers reminded me of the other reason I hate beets!
https://youtu.be/t_TKiyKXHZc?si=oDlzIZvG2N1vQ3Ev
https://www.espn.com/mens-college-basketball/recap/_/gameId/401827648
Someone didn’t proofread this. The Kansas State Wildcats are named the “Jayhawks” twice in this article. It’s 12:54 EST; I wonder how long it will be for it to be corrected.
Is there a Jaycats? Wildhawks actually sounds pretty good.
Brian Daboll, blech. His Coach of the Year work was running TEN’s Erotic Smashmouth with Dimes and Saquon. From grave robber to running the cemetery: a screamer’s journey.
Good god that zoomed out photo of McCarthy looks awful. The close up is verging on inflated cryptkeeper Al Davis. What has he been doing this past year?
Yeah low beet production numbers will do that to a guy.
What, make you look like a glazed beet?
I mean, I think the reason all the Russian apparatchiks had that look was vodka and fear.
but mostly vodka.
lots and LOTS of vodka.
the man is obviously in serious need of a massage.
Sure but dear God, that is not a healthy man. Take an evening at the Bolshoi, rotate to winter wheat, consult Konstantin Levin.
Plus, the USSR hasn’t led the world in steel production since the 70’s
Sadder than the Belichick (snicker) thing…the Jets reached out to Jon Shithead Gruden about joining their staff, and the little shithead turned them down.
THIS GUY JON GRUDEN, I CALL HIM EARLY AT THE BAR BECAUSE HE STILL HAS STANDARDS
Who has two thumbs and won’t have a job after April? This guy!
Anyone spare some change?
Well fuck that noise! Sorry to hear it.
Dammit, sorry man. Please don’t apply to ICE unless it’s to take them down from inside.
Also, best of luck, you’ll land on your feet.
.
Unemployment is great except for the whole ‘not getting a paycheck’ part. Hope you get a chance to enjoy it but start getting paid again before hardship kicks in
That sucks, hope you find something better soon.
I’m very sorry. Fuck them guys. Remember this tested job interview gem: “My passion is following orders”.
You’re young and you’ve got your health. What do you want with a job?
Aww, man. Sincerely sorry to see this.
I can maybe get you a jorb answering phone calls. Trust me, every day is different!
Of course, this means you’ll need to complete a heel turn, and start rooting for the Stillers….
Sorry Buddy. I trust you are going to find a better new gig, very soon.
Well, fuck.
I hope this is a springboard to a better situation for you.
Sorry man, good luck. You should 1/2 or even better 1/16 ass your job until then
At least you have forewarning. I would recommend milking those unemployment benefits for as long as possible and if you ever feel like you’re getting jammed up, the best people to complain to are your state legislators.
Since it sounds like you’ll be laid off due to lack of work, that shouldn’t cause any delays. Honestly, UI follows the 80/20 rule. So, just follow the rules exactly and read everything in its entirety when you receive a letter or email and you’ll be fine.
Sorry to hear that; getting laid off sucks. I recommend that your job search > your job that’s ending in April, unless there’s a big severance at the end or something.
I don’t understand how you trial attorneys put up with prospective jurors like me.
Apparatchik : “Comrade McCarthy! Is it possible to use Man coverage without promoting individualism and betraying our collectivist ideals?”
McCarthy : “Not usually, but if the receiver has a contract worth more than $40 million and hasn’t liked any posts from the Blue Bunny official Twitter then keeping tight coverage would be a good socialist deed”
“Comrade McCarthy! Is it true that your Steelers QB will have the same freedom to make something happen on offense as the Bourgeois Bengals?”
“Yes, it is true, if Burrow has the chance he will get the ball into the Steelers endzone. If our QB has the chance he will also get the ball into the Steelers endzone”
“Comrade McCarthy! Is it true that the Ravens are on the edge of a cliff?”
“True, and we’re one step ahead of them all the way”
“Comrade McCarthy! Is is possible for the Steelers offense to score 30 points in one night?”
“Yes, if it’s a polar night. We have requested the NFL to give us a December game in Murmansk”
So Bill Belichick – the head coach and GM of Patriots teams that went to NINE Super Bowls and won 302 regular season games (while only losing 165) was not elected to the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. I know most us despise the guy (though he definitely rose in my esteem when he declined the Medal of Freedom) but this is an absolute travesty.
It’s the media’s way of giving him the finger for two decades of shitty press conferences.
“The Hall’s voting committee is composed mostly of veteran NFL reporters…”
I think you’re onto something there. A real “HA HA, FUCK THAT GUY” vibe.
I wouldn’t let guys like Peter King vote on the fucking break room wall color.
“Beige! No wait…taupe! No wait…ecru!”
What would the color be in Wichita?
MAYBE
I don’t know why you guys hate Belichick so much. He gave shitty press conferences because the reporters asked shitty and moronic questions. Go listen to one of them where you can hear the questions. They’re incredibly stupid. On the other hand, when a reporter would ask a vaguely intelligent football question, Belichick would open up and tell everything he knew about football in that instance. More than a few good sports journalists noted this, that a lot of what passed for “sports reporters” at those press conferences was pretty thin.
I was surprised at how good he was when he was on the Manningcast each week. Would have made a far better commentator than Tawmmy Brady
It’s a disgrace than the Manningcast is the sideshow. It is the best thing ESPN has put out since they started 30 For 30.
Let’s hold off on the word travesty. It’s bullshit for sure, but I’m sure Robert Kraft can help find a place to lend him a hand.
you can’t spell “transvestite guy” without “travesty” ppl forget that
This is gonna be due to the new HoF voting rules is my guess
Sure but also lol, don’t forget that.
Surpassing baseball in having the most conceited HoF voters is the last America’s Pastime horcrux.
Seeing that picture of McCarthy makes me confident he won’t be able to trip a return man for the Ravens. And don’t tell me that fucker didn’t trip jones on that return. don’t tell me. My dothroki tribe continues to grow and we would rip Pittsburgh in two.
We missed the Dave Matthews Tribute, but we can all still make the Yacht Rock Party!
Let’s go!
This, of course, is the State Theater in Falls Church VA, home of the tribute bands.
Fun facts:
As a kid, when this was a movie theater, I saw the original Star Wars (1977) here, as well as American Graffiti (1973) I saw the ’78 re-release), which I just realized were both by George Lucas! American Graffiti is by far and without a doubt his best film, and it was highly profitable too.
Another highly profitable movie I saw here was Billy Jack (1971) I saw the ’73 re-release), the story of a man so devoted to non-violence that he beats the shit out of anyone who disagrees. The two sequels to this film have to be seen to be believed that they could ever possibly exist.
I saw the Leg Warmers there. That was a rocking show.
I go by there all the time and I think I remember seeing them on the marquee. Some of those shows look like they could be a lot of fun. I’ve only been in there as a movie theater but I’ll bet it’s a pretty good live act venue.
I think Comrade McCarthy is our new DFO character….
He is the type of guy to try to grow sugar beets in Buffalo.
Read this as Cormac McCarthy, and thought, geez, things are grim but that’s a lot.
Jesus Christ, that second McCarthy photo!
Did they make him shovel out the parking lot before the interview?
I wish they would, he looks about half a Twinkie away from the big one.
Here’s a link to an awfully nice Grateful Dead concert they did for the Muscular Dystrophy Association in 1980. It’s at the Mill Valley Recreation Center and the audience is roughly seventy sick kids. They had just finished their sensational acoustic/electric runs at Radio City in New York and the Warfield Theater in San Francisco, which is probably what convinced they’d be able to cook like this in such a confined space. It’s easy on the ears and soul. Have a terrific, warm evening.
https://archive.org/details/gd1980-12-06.151263.betty.master.flac16
Hadn’t those kids suffered enough?*
*Hey, Rev started the cheap shots, not me!
It’s time to storm the Capitals. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Storm the capital, sure, let me invite my friend Ashli..too soon?
She won’t mind.
She’ll have to check with Satan and see if she can get some time off from doing headstands in pig shit.
I might have mentioned this previously, but whenever I see the name “Pegula” I envision a campy porn flick featuring vampires and butt stuff.
“Oh no – are you going to suck my blood???”
“Eh, not exactly.”
Tagline: “I VANT TO PEG YOUR BUTT!”
lol Belichick didn’t make the HoF in year one. He can spend that weekend watching an adult cheerleading competition.
It’s certainly like the “aura” has melted and everybody be all liek FUCK THAT MOTHERFUCKER. Almost enough to make me re-evaluate Brady hatred.
/I said ALMOST
Yes. Almost.
It’s funny, my wife hates Brady viscerally, like more than I do. He’ll randomly appear on TV, and she’s like “Oh that fuckin guy, he’s such an asshole” and I don’t know what prompts it, and who cares because it’s awesome.
Sounds like you married well.
Quite. One of us did anyway.
As much of a creepy old prick as Belichick is he does deserve to be in the Hall of Fame.
That said, Brady winning a Super Bowl in Tampa while Bill presided over the demise of the Patriot dynasty, then started dating a much younger, and somehow much weirder, chick, and then did whatever it is he’s doing in North Carolina, has probably taken some of the bloom off his rose.
if Brandon Beane can get the fuck out of the way
The “if” in this phrase is doing more heavy lifting than Sisyphus on leg day
You know Beane thinks he deserved the promotion and will in no way learn anything from this, and will just fuck everything up for the next 4-5 years.
/here’s a live look-in at Ms. Scotchy 36 hours later, complaining about her not getting chicken-fried rice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsxJfcFVnpo
Ms. Scotchy cares not for one’s living-situation or circumstances.
Perhaps this is how and why Mr. Scotchy became so efficient at… disposal of certain… items, let’s say.