Sexy Friday – 20260313

TGIF! It’s Friday the 13th again? That seems like 4 months straight. Just kidding, it was only last month. February does things like that.

Word Count Filler Time

We don’t post nudes pictures here, but we can talk about it. Here’s a few quotes from famous folks on nudity.

“Take off all of your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, and terrified citizens will phone the police and report: ‘There’s a naked person outside!'” — Mike Nichols

“On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary.” — Dilbert (now cancelled)

“I often think that a slightly exposed shoulder emerging from a long satin nightgown is far more sexy than two naked bodies in bed.” — Bette Davis (and Hippo)

“I’ve posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin’s ‘Thinker,’ but I merely looked constipated.” — George Bernard Shaw

“I can’t bear being seen naked. I’m not exactly a tiny woman. When Sophia Loren is naked, this is a lot of nakedness.” — Sophia Loren

“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” — Genesis 2:25

“I used to sleep nude — until the earthquake.” — Alyssa Milano

“What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognized the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful that the garment with which it is clothed?” — Michelangelo (not the turtle)

“My school colors were clear. We used to say ‘I’m not naked, I’m in the band.'” — Steven Wright

“When you’ve seen a nude infant doing a backward somersault, you know why clothes exist.” — Stephen Fry

“I think onstage nudity is disgusting, shameful, and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic, and progressive religious experience.” — Shelley Winters

“There are few nudities so objectionable as the naked truth.” — Agnes Repplie

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Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Mr. Ayo
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Unsurprised

I’m watching an old documentary on sandwiches from 2001 from WQED and one of the best sandwiches no matter how many times I see this (I’ve seen this a lot) is the chipped ham sandwich from an Isaly’s they visit. And I keep meaning to ask WCS if he’s ever been to this place. It’s in West something across from the justice of the peace’s office.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m having shrimp burritos, and I don’t know why I don’t cook shrimp more often. They have 2 lb bags at Costco and I should just keep one in the freezer at all times.

Sharkbait

We usually keep some on hand. One of my quick go to dinners is pasta with shrimp, cherry tomatoes and large mozzarella balls cut into cubes all mixed together with pesto.

SonOfSpam

We just do pasta with shrimp, tomatoes, olive oil, and parmesan, but I wanna try yours.

Sharkbait

Likewise. That sounds excellent too

SonOfSpam

Many Fridays Vons sells a 2 lb bag for $10. The shrimp has always been just fine.

I don’t mind a shrimp cocktail as a meal on occasion.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You don’t have to tell me about $5 Fridays at Vons. That’s how I got that bottle of Bacardi for like $0.10.

The Vons stuff is fine, but I have found the Costco shrimp to be of higher quality; enough to make up the cost difference.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But yes, many varieties of cocktail can make for a fine meal.

yeah right

Oh shit!

I got that covered on Sunday!

litre_cola
Horatio Cornblower

Probably a .11

litre_cola

Yeah, couldn’t legally drive, but protest to fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMXlAJOQsss

SonOfSpam

Trying to join you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Realizing that I watch almost zero television when the Dr. Mrs. isn’t around.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9NEjUb_Ag0

In high school, one of guys in our “crew” if you will flipped his car and totaled it. He was fine, no one was injured except his pride. This became his theme song.

yeah right

Starting to be a pretty fun WBC semi.

Freebird?

You played Freebird for the bump music?

That trip to Paris may be one way.

Redshirt

Network Data Outage. Data is barely working. Watching TV with HD antenna for first time in 25 years. Those Iranians have gone too far!

Also, I will not survive the End Times.

Sharkbait

I tossed an antenna into the attic a couple years ago. It was a great move. I can DVR directly onto my plex server so content is available immediately.

litre_cola

Revisiting System of a Down while wine drunk for the 1st time in months. Plus weed.

His voice is Angelic.

yeah right

The first 3 albums Serge was on fire.

I’ve seen them at least 4 times and the first 3 shows were insane.

SonOfSpam

WAKEUP

Sharkbait

The Bulldogs must lead the AFL in mullets and 80s porn moustaches.

ballsofsteelandfury

And we stole your best guy!

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Last edited 39 minutes ago by ballsofsteelandfury
2Pack

Who would have thunk Better Davis had a Hippo thing goin on. And don’t you worry Sophia… we appreciate all of you.
Lady 9 is my boner assist here today Ayo, well done as always.

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2Pack

Classic

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where ya been? I posted that when it happened and again in AFL Beat

BrettFavresColonoscopy

(I’m a little cranky given the current GWS match)

ballsofsteelandfury

You might want to turn that off….

Sharkbait

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gotta finish my drink

SonOfSpam

Downright bitchy, but you’re allowed as a Bears fan.

Sharkbait

I was trying to just find the isolated gif of the goal sign, but figured I’d post that again

Horatio Cornblower

So apparently the USA baseball team had a talk from that asshole SEAL who claims he shot bin Laden, and now at least one of the guys on the team is wearing a ‘Front Towards Enemy’ T-shirt and ohmygod I cannot wait until the DR just waxes these assholes.

It’s like rooting for a team of cops.

SonOfSpam

Aw fuck, we just can’t fucking enjoy anything.

/orders DR t-shirt from Amazon, probably made by a 5 year old in the DR

Sharkbait

I enjoyed the high of the mens gold medal hockey game for about 15 minutes before realizing it was gonna go to shit.

Horatio Cornblower

I rooted for Canada start to finish.

The Tkachuks made it pretty easy.

SonOfSpam

The World Cup and Olympics are pretty much ruined. Gonna try to enjoy, but we’re the fucking bad guys and it just sucks. “But she wasn’t my ideal candidate” oh just fuck off.

ballsofsteelandfury

Why? The US has always sucked at the World Cup. The Olympics are super awesome and our athletes are generally cool people that have the ability to make you say, “Wow!”

They’re not ruined at all.

If you don’t like Alyssa Liu, I don’t know what’s wrong with you

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Sharkbait

Absolute badass right there.

SonOfSpam

Of course the individual athletes are awesome.

But we have an evil bunch of dumbfucks in charge, and the USA jersey represents the whole country, good and bad. And right now, we’re on the bad side of the ledger. Sure, it’s always complicated, but it’s worse now than it’s been in my lifetime, and rooting for “the USA” is not enjoyable right now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean who doesn’t root for assholes to get waxed?

yeah right

That’s Balls of Steel’s Music!

Brick Meathook

They sent a dozen Navy Seals to kill one guy and 20 of them wrote books about it.

Brick Meathook

ANSWERS:

$10: Subaru CrossTrek
$100: Washington Bl & N Highland St
$1000: Brickland J. Meathook – J = Jöhænnésvöört

NO WINNERS

IMG_1097
BrettFavresColonoscopy

When did you come out as a lesbian?

Brick Meathook

Brickland J. Meathook can drive anything.

SonOfSpam

(as long as there’s an Indigo Girls cassette playing)

SonOfSpam

Cmon, this is 2026. The term is clamdiver.

ballsofsteelandfury

I should get $1 for guessing Subaru

Gumbygirl

He should at least invite you to the Tam o’ Shanter next time he goes.

yeah right

A very merry Unbirthday to me and Litre and the rest of you!

I did indeed have wine!

Watching the WBC.

I’ll be back.

SonOfSpam

Wins tonight:

1) UC Irvine, Big West Semis
2) UCLA, Big 10 Semis
3) USA Baseball, WBC Quarters

Didn’t have to use my AK.

SonOfSpam

UCLA won in the Big 10 Quarters, not Semis.

Management regrets the error and will drink another beer as punishment.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, Balls–it got worse

Sharkbait

Oh shit. Bulldogs Woooo!

ballsofsteelandfury

29 points is good for a quarter. Not so much for a half.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Edit: Fuck reddit

But goal efficiency is currently 50% for WB and 14.3% for GWS

Last edited 1 hour ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

-Lance Armstrong’s doctor

Sharkbait

Can the US go 4 for 4?

Also, this is 100% real:comment image

Last edited 1 hour ago by Sharkbait
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve watched a little paralympic hockey, and holy shit, that’s intense

SonOfSpam

Yeah, all these athletes are just so damn impressive.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Especially the Russian ones who got paralypicized while invading Ukraine.

SonOfSpam

On the plus side, more of them were killed than paraplegicized.

(Trump has been saying “mutilizated” talking about trans stuff and no one is calling him on it because again, we touch ourselves at night)

Horatio Cornblower

Seated Rivalry is absolute genius

SonOfSpam

How do they do the butt stuff while seated though?

Gumbygirl

Where there’s a will…

blaxabbath

It’s over but I don’t yet know the outcome. So in watching the last ten minutes of the CATS / CYCLOS game. UA killed Iowa St at home like two weeks ago. ISU looks for real here in the conference tournament.

SonOfSpam

Alls I know (besides who won) is the top of the Big 12 is badass.

blaxabbath

Houston is a truly challenging foe.

SonOfSpam

(please stand and remove your toque)

O Canada
You lost to us again
Your baseball team
Lost just like hockeymen

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The thing is, with how lousy I feel it seems unlikely that a mai tai would leave me feeling any *worse*.

SonOfSpam

Stay hydrated

Sharkbait

Alcohol kills germs. It’s science.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck

NotShogunButShogun

Well ok, but only if you bake me something

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Those cookies are for Sunday, sir

SonOfSpam

“Ok!” (grabs sheep)

-Litre, who is Scottish

ballsofsteelandfury

Not the best start…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone figured out what the “Fuck” was for

SonOfSpam

Amurikkka is holding off Canadia 5-3 in the 8th. I think the winner gets Dominican Republic. which is TOUGH.

WCS

So… that was interesting…

First storm mode of 2026. Severe winds in Yinzburgh, like 75 mph gusts. A normal day, we will get maybe eight or nine calls “in the hole.” That’s where there more incoming calls than operators available. The most I’ve ever been a part of was 71 or 72, two years ago.
We hit 78 at least twice earlier. That’s what I saw. It could’ve been more, and I didn’t see. It was utter chaos, but I will state that time didn’t seem to lag.

Weirdly enough, it didn’t get this crezzy during the SNOWMAGEDDON a couple months ago. The real “fun” is just starting, too. Cleaning this mess up will be… not my problem, at least.

How are yinz?

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, wind can cause real chaos. I remember a while back they had to shut down a couple blocks of Chicago along with a bridge because shit was blowing off a highrise construction site

WCS

Windy in Chicago? I’ll be damned…

Jimbo

I think it’s called the Windy Apple or something like that.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, people think it’s because of the wind, but it’s actually because of all the applesauce factories.

NotShogunButShogun

We’re looking at a foot or so Sunday into Monday. I’m thrilled

Jimbo

Tell me more about this foot.

-R Ryan.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Still hacking up yellow goo, so…not good.

But I was delighted by how great of a job folks did with today’s Request Line topic, which I actually came up with on the fly because I wasn’t feeling up to writing a full Prom post.

Doktor Zymm

Today I learned that growing wheat for personal use is legally interstate commerce!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wickard_v._Filburn

2Pack

Use the tractor you are going to need as an offset tax write off.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

GWS game in about an hour WOOOOOO

ballsofsteelandfury

WOOOO Love early AFL games!

scotchnaut

Spring has sprung in my neck of the woods. It was 9 degrees Celsius and sunny a few days ago, there was a dead baby deer on the highway yesterday and my wife called me today warning me of a series of three foot snowdrifts on our back road. [sighs]

yeah right

My kiddo told me the same thing.
Down here it was almost 90.

Stupid time of year.

Redshirt

Big 12 Conference robbed us of a perfect meme by chickening out of the LED court:

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Brick Meathook

Here’s Brick looking rakish in his Ayo-inspired driving gloves accessorized with a red-trim G-Shock on a red-trim Velcro NATO strap, plus an Old Navy fireproof Kevlar sweatshirt.

$10 prize if you can identify the car
$100 prize if you can identify the intersection
$1000 if you identify the driver’s middle name

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

No idea on the car.

19th and K NW?

Danger

NotShogunButShogun

Blazer-esque

ballsofsteelandfury

Subaru Outback

Main and First

DangeUr

Last edited 3 hours ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Gumbygirl

Small pickup truck

Down at the end of Lonely Street

Motherfuckin’

Doktor Zymm

PT Cruiser
Clark and Belmont
Trick question, “Brick Meathook” is a mononym

Jimbo

Kia Forte

21 and Lewis

Jasper

ballsofsteelandfury

Btw, “not the turtle” made me LOL. Literally.

ballsofsteelandfury

Alyssa makes a very good point. That’s the only reason I don’t sleep naked.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve put some thought into this and I’ve decided that I can just grab my red panda bathrobe on the way out. It buttons. I’ve also been meaning to put a change of clothes in my car and my emergency backpack that’s by the door

scotchnaut

“Oh girl, seriously? Red Panda bathrobes are more of a Midwest tornado accoutrement.”

-some fashion influencer, probably

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And FWIW, she’s still at it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL2qT841r-I

Brick Meathook

Every Californian (and everyone, really) should have a “bug-out bag” containing: three days of food/water, clean clothing, basic first aid and prescriptions, Leatherman-style tool, phone-charging gear, pistol with ammo, 2-way radio, extra batteries, porno mags, extra socks, $100 in small denominations, silver dollars, airplane-size booze, marijuana with a bowl, plus some other stuff.

Jimbo

Good list but do they even make porno mags anymore?

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m pretty sure they do. I may have to visit a certain liquor store tomorrow to verify this.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What, you’re too fancy to look at a previously-owned porno mag?

SonOfSpam

and jackin lotion

Gumbygirl

And this ashtray. That’s all I need.

Horatio Cornblower

There it is.

Redshirt

.

IMG_0195
ballsofsteelandfury

Wait. The Browns were going to get SOMETHING for Watson and backed out?!?

They are bigger morons than we all thought…

SonOfSpam

this is on the level of Cult/Cure, well done

scotchnaut

There’s a war going on in the Mideast, the price of fuel has skyrocketed but I’ve an inkling what the lead story on CBC News is going to be tonight.

Jimbo

It’s not a war, it’s a “little excursion”.

-DJT at the golf course.