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2026 NFL Draftmas – Day Three (and Whatever Lesser Stuff Happens)

King Hippo

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Footy has left me bruised, battered, and broken.  So, thankfully there is MOAR human chattel auctioning today (ESPN/NFLN).

Spurs misery porn theatre will continue this weekend, and the pressure is on with WHam! (UK) seemingly the only plausible alternative to 18th position.  Leeds are surely safe, Robins Hood look 90% of the way there.  Thusly, Fronkenmaths gets kind of brutal.

City of Men and King’s Afrikan Water Pistols are level on points AND goal differential, so maybe we’ll see an old-fashioned boat race to run up the scoreline.  Remember that season there was a possible “margin of victory” tiebreaker for the last NFC Wild Card (this may be a fever dream of my imagination, but it’s REAL TO ME), and the Steve Beurlein Black Panthers had a similar last-gasp boat race with Green Bay?  I forget who either’s opponents were, but I do recall onside kicks despite being ahead like 3 or 4 scores.  Dunno how this will translate to Lesser Footy, except that I doubt Handsome Mikel is willing to play that game.  Instead, he’ll just hope City of Men drop points.

Good luck with that.

In other pyramid news, Foxy Footy are on their way down to 3rd tier League One, and that club are being consumed by flames on all sides.  Icarus flew too close to the sun, indeed.  Also a reminder what an absolute charlatan Brendan Rodgers was/is/forever will be.

Anyway, that’s all I got to say about that.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So when the Celtics were in the NBA Finals in 2024 I promised the universe I’d buy a Jrue Holiday jersey if they won. They did, but I procrastinated and didn’t get around to it. And if you ignore the series of miracles for the Dodgers in Game 7 of the World Series and of course UConn’s victory over Duke, it’s been some pretty rough times for the teams I root for. 

But that all changes today! 

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ballsofsteelandfury

Please tell me you are getting that from a knockoff site in China!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was the original plan but Holiday got traded so the dhgate folks don’t offer his Celtics jersey anymore.

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SonOfSpam

Anyone else wondering about “Youth” in the description?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I checked the sizes; a youth XL is basically the equivalent of a men’s M.

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SonOfSpam

Browns drafted another QB

He’s probably the best one they have now (not especially complimentary)

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scotchnaut

“Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, same as it ever was.”

-D. Byrne, NFL analyst

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yeah right

One of the best French snack chips.
Rotisserie chicken potato chips!

They actually taste like rotisserie chicken chips.

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yeah right

They have that taste because they use one of my favorite secret ingredients.

Chicken meat powder!

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Gumbygirl

Viande de poulet en poudre. Magnifique!

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SonOfSpam

Chicken Meat Powder

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What are 3 things Rob Ford has snorted?

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WCS

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WCS

D’oh

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It is currently 12:44 p.m. in Los Angeles and my hangover headache has been upgraded to “feels like there’s a rat in my brain.”

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WCS

Fellow Montour High School alum Michael Keaton (Douglass)!

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Gumbygirl

Batman!

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Gumbygirl

Hippo, you got your guy!

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SonOfSpam

(be careful, he has no idea how to handle happiness or success)

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WCS

Wolven sort going to the DONKS?

/sixth pill activated

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WCS

Only took 31 minutes to get started due to an avalanche of tech issues.

How are yinz? It’s the final day of this Draftmas, and it’s raining. That may keep things relatively quiet…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, at least Arsenal was able to pull out the 1-0 win against the 14th ranked team in the league.

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Horatio Cornblower

Arteta celebrating like that is why he has to go. You took an early lead, took the guy out who scored it, then sat back and played not to lose instead or pressing to get more goals, (which you are very much going to need), against a team you are clearly better than.

But hey, maybe Manchester City will lose to, (checks notes), Everton?

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Mr. Ayo

I was chortling when the announcers said the players won’t think about goal difference until the final two games.

Bros, your season relies on goal difference right now and handsome Mikel needs to know this and make sure they know it.

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scotchnaut

Jesus Christ, everything depends on goal difference the rest of the way. You know how I know those guys are idiots?

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Horatio Cornblower

That would have been a spectacular goal for Martinelli.

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Horatio Cornblower

That has to be a red card. Don’t give me that “too wide” bullshit.

Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
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Horatio Cornblower

“The defender would have gotten to the ball first”

Well he certainly had the better chance, since the keeper wasn’t hauling him down by his shorts, wouldn’t he!?!?

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Horatio Cornblower

That last Arsenal possession in Newcastle’s 1/3:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/wflutm/center_holds_it_holds_it_holds_it/

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ArmedandHammered

So 2nd full day in Whistler and I did not expect to see Japanese school girls in there school uniforms. The Fairmont is hosting some sort of dance competion for teens and tweens and the older white guys trying to not even glance at them is hilarious. More makeup than a Lancome counter.

I have introduced my wife to Cheesies, she ate half the bag after drinking a bottle of sparking wine. She announced they are the greatest Cheetos ever, we will discuss later.

This is a very pet friendly hotel, the number of dogs and all the different breeds is astounding.

People are still skiing.

So far so good, BC THC is excellent.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh man I could go for some Cheesies right about now.

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Doktor Zymm

They are so good

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yeah right

My doctor did say that I needed more sodium.

To Amazon we go!

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Gumbygirl

My doctor will never say that to me.

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Horatio Cornblower

Eze: (Scores goal)

Arteta: TAKE THAT GUY OUT OF THE FUCKING GAME!!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just tried a new aperitif allegedly from Brittany. Cider with creme de cassis in it.

I shall stick to pastis and wine.

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Doktor Zymm

They do make some fine cider in Brittany, although haven’t heard of sticking creme de cassis in it

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s this about sticking things in Brittany?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fucking Arsenal. If you’re going to give the ball away maybe do it while you’re still in the opponent’s half of the field.

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Horatio Cornblower

Ordinarily I’d despise that weak shot Maniweke just took, but it indicates to me Arsenal is taking a more “fire away” approach and less of a “dick around and hope someone knocks me down for a set piece” approach, and I’m therefore willing to overlook it.

Last edited 1 month ago by Horatio Cornblower
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scotchnaut

Call me petty but I don’t want good things for Woody Johnson.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Same here. Which is funny because I’m generally supportive of good things happening to Woodys and Johnsons.

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Horatio Cornblower

Death can be a good thing, though.

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King Hippo

The best you can hope FOAR is to die in your sleep.

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Gumbygirl

Especially if it’s hilariously scandalous.

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Horatio Cornblower

Walter Cronkite supposedly said he wanted to die on a 60′ yacht with a 20-year-old mistress, although looking it up apparently his wife said this was his wish, then added he was more likely to go out on a 20′ boat with a 60-year-old mistress.

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scotchnaut

I’ve heard a variation of that-I wonder Wifey Cronkite was the first.

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Senor Weaselo

As a Jets fan… neither do I.

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Horatio Cornblower

Another 9-10 of those and I’ll start feeling a little better about Arsenal’s chances.

Full disclosure: I have the game on in the background, but I am housecleaning so that I have a distraction. Don’t tell the good Dr. Mrs. Deadly Esq., (Ret.), but I am currently scraping all the downstairs rugs with a hand scraper, pulling out a truly disturbing amount of hair, (which I truly hope is from our dog and cat, and only our dog and cat), and only then running the vacuum over it so as to get the remaining debris that is now out from the depths of the rug and on the surface.

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LemonJello

Lowratio only allowed on the bare cement floors of the basement?

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Horatio Cornblower

We have carpets in the basement, sir.

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King Hippo

KLUBNIK????? Even FOAR teh J-E-S-T, that’s dumb dumb dumb!

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WCS

Somehow, the Stillers aren’t looking all that inane and insane.
I mean, *somewhat* inane and insane, but there are worse.

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Fronkenshteen

From the Yahoo! article:

“Maybe this is a simple case of New York targeting its long-term backup in the fourth round. That’s hardly crazy. But in a year when Glenn and the coaching staff are under so much pressure, when progress feels like a top priority, it just feels wrong to give up multiple picks – multiple chances to upgrade a needy defense – for a middling backup without much of a future.”



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King Hippo

JESUS CHRIST. A slow 3rd string/shory yardage RB

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King Hippo

I have put my Chubb (jersey) on for luck, now Donks draft Joly goddamnit.

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Fronkenshteen

This is bananas. We’re probably going down, but this is crazy drama every game.

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King Hippo

The emotional swings are maybe the most intense feels Hippo has ever felt (when Everton flirted with disaster).

Y’all in waaaaaayyyyyyyy better form than we were (either year of danger), but I don’t know whether that makes it better or worse, from your vantage point. Being on 36 with 4 fixtures left and not safe? Madness.

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Doktor Zymm

Been a pretty fun draft so far. CurioUs what yeah right thinks of the Iggles/Vikes trade. Looks like a lot of defenses outside the NFC North will be getting better

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King Hippo

Wolven Sort TE Joly is still on the board for the Donks. That would make my day, hopefully paired with a guard from Kenfucky (Farmer is his name I think). We pick 108 and 111.

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Mr. Ayo

Everton helping keep Spurs up is most disappointing.

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Mr. Ayo

That’s better.

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King Hippo

Back to Very Disappointing toward the usual/intended recipients.

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Horatio Cornblower

“That was a hell of a save” is something I said before finding out that I’d been logged out and had to log back in and by that time the save was long part of history.

I wouldn’t mind the having to log back in so much but if it wasn’t accompanied by being told “nonce is invalid” which I’m not completely convinced isn’t an insult.

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Doktor Zymm

FWIW the site rarely says anything about my nonce. I still get logged out, just fewer catty comments

Last edited 1 month ago by Doktor Zymm
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2Pack

Napoli won last night but I don’t think there’s any way for them to catch Inter at this point. I’m packing my ready to comfort Marika bag. The fast train gets me to Napoli in 5 hours.

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Horatio Cornblower

Welp, that’s a knee injury.

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King Hippo

That was coming. Now Fronk is coming….

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Horatio Cornblower

Ewwwww

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Mr. Ayo

Dammit, we just replaced the clubhouse carpet!

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King Hippo

De Zerbi is the kind of guy who ALWAYS brings up politics during Thanksgiving dinner. Shit, he probably wanders over to his neighboUrs to stir some shit.

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King Hippo

One of my HippoSpawn called DURING THE MATCH, but I answered, and was in all honesty relieved at the break from this shower of shite, boring performance.

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Don T

Genteeee. For the first time, I went out to see the draft last night (over to my Iggle friends’, 3rd wheel style). Of course, we mostly bitched about worked, panned several colleagues, and laughed our asses off about all the ways a cheating spouse WILL get emotionally crushed at home daily, Hispanic style. Conclusion: women will do the crushing constantly and unmercifully during the same length of the affair, men needily 😝

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ballsofsteelandfury

Latinas will punish cheating men for as long as they stay. It’s only because the cheating men are not willing to leave that this continues until the funeral.

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Don T

-Bebé, I just got back from the lawyer’s office and I changed my will, like you told me to.

-Did you fuck anyone on the way over? Wait, don’t tell me. I’ll find put through the media, as usual. [continues cutting up your baseball card collection]

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King Hippo

I must confess, the vividity of these tales makes me a little jealous not to have had the life experience. Tales of WASPery are much less interesante.

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Don T

Doubt it. Restrained and refined passive aggression is a talent in so, so SO MANY ways.

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scotchnaut

“I didn’t cheat on my husband but I did pick up some pillow cases at Target.”

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Horatio Cornblower

You know she set aside the Roberto Clemente rookie card for her retirement fund.

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Don T

Vera Clemente (QDEP) was the real saint 😅

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blaxabbath

I dont get LatinX relationships. Like, are the women subservient house managers or do they actually run the family from the casa?

Or is that the similarity between successful relationships in all cultures– that is, both parties cannot be ‘Spicy’?

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ballsofsteelandfury

The crux of the Latino-Latina (no x, that’s a white people thing) relationship is that they will ride or die with you until you fuck up.

If you don’t fuck up, they’ll help you hide the body.

If you fuck up, they’ll call the cops on you.

It’s the accountability that makes it special.

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Redshirt

Baseball is boring as all hell, but it does have it’s moments.

https://x.com/RedsDaily4/status/2047904079922307493/video/1?s=46

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Horatio Cornblower

Good seats still available!

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blaxabbath

Baseball should move to an 18 game season.

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scotchnaut

This guy is thinking outside the box seats!

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Horatio Cornblower

Given the current state of labor negotiations next season might very well be 18 games.

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Fronkenshteen

Happy derby day, good sir Hippo! We’re finally playing like a team that wants to win, but who knows if it’s too little, too late. And Moyes’ technique of letting his opponents pass the ball around, then pouncing on their fuck-ups is pure poison for the Hammers, because fuck-up we will, in abundance, and I think T. Barry or Beto will benefit nicely from this.

Taty Castellanos seems to be the real deal, and is becoming a real leader on the field; far more than his counterpart, Pablo, who joined the club in the same window. Senegalese defender Malick Diouf, middleweight triceratops Adama Traore, and lately, defender Kyle Walker-Peters have been creating chances consistently, and midfielder Mateus Fernandes has been Lebowski’s Rug with great linkup play through the middle.

We’ve stabilized somewhat on set pieces, in that we’re not conceding goals in the air at a historic pace anymore, but we haven’t shored things up completely, either. And if Max Kilman is in the starting XI? Look out! Watching him play, you’d think he was host to some sort of parasitic brain-worm through which messages to his legs and feet had to pass like two inches of solid liverwurst.

You guys are just tough, tough, tough. I can’t imagine anything more than a point against Everton: Dangerous striker (whoever gets the start), Ndiaye and Garner are tough as hell at midfield, And your defense (Myko, Brainthwaite, O’Brien,Tark?) takes all day to break down. Then Pickford’s behind them.

Yeah, I think West Ham is heading back into the drop zone for the week, because Spurs are going to flip Wolves into a wood chipper at 12:30, and I think you guys beat us today, in an agonizing homecoming victory for David Moyes, 0-1 or 1-2. I wish I had any confidence in Wolves, but my god are they worthless now. Burnley, too. Best of luck to you! I know you guys are fighting for Europe, and I won’t be heartbroken to go down. At least the championship looks like more of a fair fight. Or are we the rich kids there? Lineups in ten minutes!

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King Hippo

Toffees will likely rollover for a nice WHam! (UK) belly tickle today. My expectations are nil.

Zooropa dreams is now in the rearview, so y’all might as well take all three points from this’un.

Last edited 1 month ago by King Hippo
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blaxabbath

“….but who knows if it’s too little, too late.” followed by four thoughtful paragraphs that, very likely in sports, will not matter because It Is, in fact, Too Late really sums up the fan experience I root for.

Instead I get Draftkings spots on Barry Bonds’ sperm count once Project Veritas gets an agent to throat a sample.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

It’s also ANZAC Day today so the AFL packed the schedule with footy action

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yesterday Rikki was spot on in listening to Waltzing Matilda, it seems.

Damn bastard left me a hell of a hangover, though.

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