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WE are, appropriately, taking a Royal Dump as WE write this. Let US begin the preamble… As your newly-crowned King of the DFO Fantasy Football leagues, champion of the Freezer Vodka League, newly-appointed COMMISSIONER of the Freezer Vodka League, and Benevolent Monarch of the DFO Peoples, WE pledge to you, OUR loyal subjects, to share our knowledge and update you on the goings-on in the Realm every Saturday Night in the off-season (except during the Mundial!). Tonight, WE present to you a list of things that Amuse US that start with the letter I (We shall go in alphabetical order going forward) and that OUR subjects should develop an interest in:
- Ice (the frozen water kind)
- Independence (the political kind)
- Islands
- Igloos (the ones you store beverages in)
- Innies (the belly buttons)
- Innsbruck
- Italy (h/t 2Pack)
- Irrigation
- Images (the Sexy Friday kind)
- Iridescence
- Internationals
And now for something completely different…
WE so proclaim:
Fantasy Football Leagues Reminder
WE believe that both leagues are set with teams. Please make sure that you will actively participate if you are in either league. If you don’t want to play, we already have others willing to join.
The Freezer Vodka League is scheduled to draft at 5 PM in the evening of August 31, 2026. Team managers are:
- Moi
- Hippo
- Borisnow
- Litre
- Scotchy
- Mr. Ayo
- Son Of Spam
- Maestro
- Senor Weaselo
- Rikki
- Bogdanski
- Duke LaCross
- Don T
- BugEyedBoo
The Lowratio League is scheduled to draft on the same day, August 31, 2026, at 6 PM. Team managers are:
- Gumbygirl
- Dok Zymm
- Rev
- Game Time Decision
- Armed & Hammered
- Horatio
- Yeah Right
- Blax
- Brick
- Lemonjello
- Brocky?
- Jimbo?
- BC Dick?
- Sharkbait?
Can someone help a King out? WE cannot recall who the other players are in the Lowratio League. WE told you this would be organized like hell!!
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Mini Browns Preview
The Browns were one of 3 teams from the AFC North that changed head coaches in the off-season. The division finished, surprisingly at the top not surprisingly at the bottom, like this last year:
- Steelers
- Ravens
- Bengals
- Browns
The Browns really earned their Factory of Sadness moniker. They had 4 QBs on the active roster last year (5 total due to Watson being injured) and all 4 started at least one game. By the end of the season Deion’s son was the starting QB.
You would think that, going into this season, the pecking order would be established, but the new head coach apparently didn’t watch any of last year’s games and so we are back to trying everyone out in preseason and seeing how they do. Most galling of all to Monsieur Sanders, Watson, of all fucking people, got the initial first team reps.
So, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Myles Garrett, the best player on the roster BY FAR, was traded for a bunch of draft picks the team will just fuck up. Like the proverbial scorpion, it’s their nature.
There is doubt as to who will end up in first place in the AFC North, but there is no doubt who will end up last. Here is how WE see the division shaping up this year:
? Steelers
? Ravens
? Bengals
4 Browns
Who the fuck knows anything about this division besides the fact that the Browns will suck for all eternity, amen and hallelujah?
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In this space, WE shall share OUR Thing Of The Week. Today’s Thing:
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OUR weekly funny:
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OUR weekly hot girl pic:
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OUR weekly music video:
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One last thing:
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