TGIF! Be alert! Conor Stalions is probably stealing your signs right this moment.

Survival – Personal Edition

One of the worst aspects of a job is when they want you to fly somewhere. Even worse, they control the arrangements which means your sorry ass is flying coach somewhere. Of course, most of use fly First or Business class, as most did to DFOCon this weekend in Vegas. So let’s refresh our memories of how to best survive flying coach.

• Bring your own supplies onboard. The cattle class gets nothing without paying, and at a markup too. Bring yourself some snacks, water, neck pillow, and lip balm. Having adapted to the humidity in the PNW, I always forget about lip balm when flying.
• Try to get a seat with extra legroom. Ideally a bulkhead (guaranteed overhead storage), exit aisle, or that weird window seat behind the exit aisle that has 2 rows of leg room. Even the middle seat in the exit row is more comfortable that a regular row somewhere else.
• Failing that, look for a seat in the rear of the plane with open seats. Not as much of an issue as in the past, but it still is the safest place on the plane. Additionally, you’ll be allowed to board earlier depending on the airline. (SW and UA are the exceptions now)
• Get that carryon into the overhead bin ideally. If not, instead of storing it all the way under the seat in front, pull it out a bit and use it as a foot rest. At least, after takeoff to avoid being scolded by the flight attendant.
• Get comfortable. And no, this does not mean taking off your shoes. Buy better shoes next time. And don’t recline your seat. The exception is if you have a bad back and need to. But advise the person behind you first. If you are capable of and plan to sleep, put on that neck pillow. Slap on a sleep mask too, they’re really great. Also, if you are planning on napping, prioritize a window seat so you can both close the shade and lean against the wall of the plane.
• Whenever the seat belt sign is off, get up! As yeah right informed us, this should be done about once per hour during flight. (Well actually, during anytime. Sitting still for long periods is bad for you)
• Use noise cancelling headphones. Over the ear types are preferable as they’re more effective and more comfortable. This will not only protect your ears from the droning of the plane engines, it will also signal to your asshole seat mates that you don’t want to hear their shit.

After surviving the hellscape of travel, work harder to get a promotion so they fly you in a respectable class.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!