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Yes, here we are to remember notable Jets quarterback Tim Boyle, unquestionably one of the quarterbacks of all time. Who can forget that pass, and that thing, and also that Hail Mary? We laughed, we cried, we shook our head in disbelief, I shook my head in total belief because it’s the Jets. Good times were had by some. Not me.
(For those of you out of the know, the Jets cut Boyle yesterday and signed Brett Rypien.) To be honest, looking at the stats, I can’t believe he went 41/63. Or even 31/63. From there, it’s unsure whether for next week (and/or the rest of the year unless/until Aaron Rodgers comes back from Bart Simpson putting his hands on his ankle, episode source of my favorite Simpsons reference that got used for an album or band name, Bury Me at Makeout Creek. Yeah, take that Fall Out Boy… fuck, where was I?) the Jets’ll go with missing, presumed alive commenter and monkey man Trevor Semien or, the logical comedic choice because this is the fucking Jets we’re talking about, Zach Wilson.
(Update: It’s Wilson. Fan. Fucking. Tastic.)
It’s times like these that make me think to myself, “Man, fuck Hofstra for having Jets Fest for all those years.” I could’ve followed 4 year old Senor’s logic and been a N-GCP fan because, and again, 4 year old’s logic, I liked the blue star. (This is the same 4-year-old logic that liked Michigan football and Duke, because blue teams.)
(Did I apply to Michigan for undergrad, despite them having a solid music department? No.)
Anyway, in conclusion, the P*ts are falling apart thanks to absolutely atrocious quarterback play, and I can’t even laugh at them without looking at the embarrassment to garish eyesores in my own house. Speaking of, though…
Here’s the news!
GAMBLOR ALERT: The O/U for Thursday Night Football’s P*ts-Yinzers tilt is 30. This is the lowest over-under in, fittingly, 30 years, a P*ts-Bengals game, Week 15, 1993. I cannot wait to see what the line is in the Week 18 Jets-P*ts game. 20? 10? 6.5?
-Speaking of GAMBLOR, it’s the gambling money that led National Disgrace Roger Goodell to call Las Vegas “Sports Town USA.” Moe Greene Bugsy Siegel and Hyman Roth Meyer Lansky would be proud.
-CrimeBeat! update: Von Miller is at Bills HQ and is listed as available for Sunday’s game. They don’t anticipate him going on the exempt list. (The charge is third-degree felony assault of a pregnant woman, which is 2 to 10.)
-Speaking of the Tim Boyle Memorial Thread, Aaron Rodgers went on Pat McAfee and defended Zach Wilson and called out the organization for the leaks. Yeah, that’s fair. I mean, the calling out the leaks part.
-In other QB news, Dr. Mantis Toboggan Tommy DeVito will remain the starting QB of the New York Football Vertically Enhanced Persons, even though Inanimate Carbon Tyrod Taylor will return.
-Trevor Lawrence has a high ankle sprain, and has not been ruled out for Sunday for Jagura against the Pauls.
-Liouns DT Alim McNeill has a knee sprain and will be on IR. He may be available for the playoffs.
–RAMMIT signs K Mason Crosby to the practice squad.
-Mike McCarthy had (presumably) an appendectomy today, but is probable for Sunday’s game against the Eagles. No word on whether he’ll be able to host the Late Show next week.
TV time!
Bettman Ball:
Pantera Goal Song vs. Panthera Logo (DAL vs. FLA, 7:00, TNT)
COME TO OUR GAMES vs. McDavid and Pals trying to overcome shitty D & goaltending (CAR vs. EDM, 9:30, TNT)
NBA Jam 2: The Jammening
“I thought Pop was going to retire with Duncan” vs. “Words don’t die.” (SAS vs. MIN, 7:40, ESPN)
Jokic the Not-Turnover Machine vs. Regular Season Paul (DEN vs. LAC, 10:00, ESPN)
JV NBA Jam 3: This Time, There’s Not as Much Money on the NIL Deals
Tejas vs. D-Wade and Pals (Texas vs. Marquette, 8:00, FS1)
WCS Rivalry Game! Pitt vs. West Virginia (9:00, ESPN2)
Death to SMU-chy vs. The Coyotes’ Landlords (SMU vs. Arizona St., 10:00, FS1)
JV WNBA Jam 4: Yeah, We’re Multigendered Now!
Cy-Hawk Game: #4 Iowa vs. Iowa State (7:00, ESPN2)
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