Saturday Night Off-season Open Thread 2025-5

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I don’t know why the phrase, “Omigod you’re going to make me watch Italian cinema!” pops into my head right now.

God Bless You, 2Pack! And God bless those gorgeous Italian ladies…

So, aside from insanely hot Europeans, what is there to talk about?

Current Events

This week culminated with Trump telling the Ukrainian president that he’s got no cards and he should be kissing his ass for supplying Ukraine with weapons. I mean, he’s not wrong that Ukraine has very few cards, if any, to play and that they’re pretty much depending on US help to hold off Russia, but that probably could and should have been done behind closed doors instead of in a public meeting.

I’m guessing that there’s political posturing and then Ukraine will give us minerals and give away territory because if they don’t, Trump will make sure Russia controls ALL of Ukraine. Stay tuned.

( that’s more of a cooch slap than a butt slap)

***

Sports Update

The golf tournaments from last week proved profitable! I got a closest to the pin in one tournament and won $55. In the other tournament, I finished in the money and got $22.

***

Goals Update

Since today is the first day of March, I’m going to take advantage and provide the two-month update on where I am:

GOLF GOALS: Lower my Handicap Index to less than 21, Shoot an 18 hole score of 89 or better, Win a tournament, and finish in the top three of my club championship.

UPDATE: My Handicap Index started the year at 26.7. It is currently at 26.7 after going down all the way to 26.6. I came really close to 89 last week! I got a 91 but that included a Snowman on the 18th hole. 89 was definitely within reach! In that same tournament, I finished third overall. Again, I was VERY close!

FITNESS GOALS: Do one NFL Combine Bench Press Rep (235 lbs), Get a PR of 300 in Squat, and run 2 miles in less than 23 minutes (Army standard for my age).

UPDATE: My first opportunity to get new PRs will come in March.

WORK GOALS: Get 5 non-performers to either quit, retire, or transfer, Get 3 mentees promoted, and institute a company-wide cost-saving measure.

UPDATE: 2 non-performers are gone and 1 mentee got her promotion. The cost-saving measure is in the process of being implemented. I won’t claim it yet.

INTELLECTUAL GOALS: Read 5 Christopher Moore books, create a 7 episode minimum series of fiction, and do a creative visual project.

UPDATE: I read The Stupidest Angel, Lamb, and the three books on the Vampires in San Francisco series (Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and Bite Me). I’m currently reading Noir. Y’all are reading the fiction series every Wednesday. I am in the process of getting a lunch scheduled with Brick to go over our visual project.

***

In this space, I will tell you what I’m drinking as I type this post. Today’s drink is: Earl Grey tea with French Vanilla creamer. Yes, I’m feeling quite Euro today.

***

Your weekly Psych gif:

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Your weekly hot girl pic:

Marika-Fruscio-17.jpg

***

Your weekly music video:

***

One last thing:

Seriously, every time I see this, I start laughing. I may continue posting it every week. Hat tip to Brocky:

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Doktor Zymm

On one hand kinda annoying that I can’t get away from hearing about Trump, on the other, everyone here realizes he’s an idiot

WCS

Great look for the rest of us in the general population.

2Pack

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table. I needed a running start, but I made it.

2Pack

Grazie and great hustle on the goals Buddy. We all do better with positive focus in our lives.

Brick Meathook

This is either Oklahoma or northern Texas.

https://ibb.co/67GhfHhm

Brick Meathook
Horatio Cornblower

The second one is clearly either Texas or southern Oklahoma.

yeah right

Oh shit!
Know what I watched the other day?

Emperor of the North Pole.

Lee Marvin

Ernest Borgnine?

Hobos just gotta survive man!

Scotchy would love that movie

Doktor Zymm

There’s a dude on the Cronulla Sharks who is pretty damn good at ruggering

Doktor Zymm

And the season open is live right now from Las Vegas. I think they’re in the Raiders stadium

Doktor Zymm

Watching Aussie basketball, sponsored by Fake Burger King

Doktor Zymm

It’s the NBL finals apparently!

WCS

Dynastic dispute in the fast food kingdom?

yeah right

It’s called Maccas!

Doktor Zymm

This one is Hungry Jack actually (it’s a subsidiery or something of burger king so the similar logo is legit). I guess there is more than one claim on the Burger Throne!

Last edited 1 day ago by Doktor Zymm
BC Dick

I think Burger King is hungry jacks and McDonald’s is maccas. Bunch of illiterate criminals.

BC Dick

They call it Chazzwazzers there

King Hippo

They got knocked down, but they got up again?

BC Dick

They’re in the left and the lorry.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5sSp-t2fXXg

SonOfSpam

Holy shit, the SNL open was actually amazing.

Without spoiling anything, welcome back Mike Myers!

SonOfSpam

…and Shane Gillis is single-handedly ending the world’s water shortage with his flop sweat. Right-wing friendly monologue is not going over all that great! Surprisingly!

Redshirt

Right-wing humor is hard to pull off. You almost have to go for the joke that get them to nervously laugh. Christopher Titus’ “Amerigeddon” was the best example of that, though Trump and Hillary are low hanging fruit.

I have to admit that “Vikings called Greenland because it was covered in ice and Iceland because it was covered in grass to confuse their enemies and now Trump is falling for it” was kind of good.

Redshirt

Okay, now I’ve moved on and its like driving slowly on the Interstate so you can gawk at the horrific car crash on the other side of the expressway.

SonOfSpam

Agree, the Iceland/Greenland bit was good.

Doktor Zymm

I may have walked to the suburbs. Will probably uber back

yeah right

I would normally say use caution but I’m sure the Nuclear directional small impact disabling device is fully operational.

Doktor Zymm

First East Brisbane brewery is pretty damn good, so worth it. Oh and rugby recap just came on!

No food here so will move on once I finish my taster though

Doktor Zymm

And suburbs don’t seem to have the Sunday surcharge!

Redshirt

JD Vance and family flee to ‘undisclosed location’ due to angry mob after Zelensky fallout

Can’t we go four years without a sitting Vice President fleeing from an angry mob?!

Doktor Zymm

I don’t actually mind with this one

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We did! Four years and fifty-three days!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We were due

Gumbygirl

More of this. Much, much more.

Horatio Cornblower

My son’s take was that the Secret Service just said he was at an undisclosed location and he still went skiing, because no one was going to tell the difference between him and all the other pudgy white guys with ski helmets and goggles.

Brick Meathook

LAX, with glamorous El Segundo in the distance. El Segundo is home to many exciting things, including a restaurant and a gas station.

https://ibb.co/b56ggwtc

yeah right

Welcome home.

Doktor Zymm

This city is making me hate electric scooters even more than I already did

Doktor Zymm

Everywhere here seems to have a 10% Sunday surcharge. Really irritating even if stuff is still cheap in this fake Aussie money

SonOfSpam

Even worse is that it’s pronounced “Sundare” which is why I can never go there because I’d just make fun of their lack of “R” understanding and get my gollywomper kicked.

WCS

Don’t let yourself be lured into a seemingly friendly game of knifey-spoony.

yeah right

I think that means you don’t have to tip.

Doktor Zymm

It’s Australia, they don’t tip anyway

Doktor Zymm

They hate tipping even more than the English

Horatio Cornblower

This can be taken two ways. Aussies hate tipping more than they hate the English, or Aussies hate tipping more than the English hate tipping.

And both can be true.

Doktor Zymm

The fried pickle chips were good, but it was not even half a pickle’s worth. Stopping in at the hotel before off to next brewery where I will get actual food. Looking at Hiker Brewing and Future Magic, both about 30 min walk away

Brick Meathook

Airplane wine over Oklahoma, earlier today:

https://ibb.co/DPn4vm2W

SonOfSpam

Sorry you had to experience flying over Oklahoma.

Horatio Cornblower

Better than being in Oklahoma. I once spent three day in Tulsa. Longest two weeks of my life.

Redshirt

Worst Heel Turn of the Week: John Cena or the United States of America?

SonOfSpam

Cena was less predictable.

WCS

Oh, lovely. WVU is on national TV for everyone to watch this inevitable disasterpiece.

Also,

comment image

SonOfSpam

It’s 10-8 thirteen minutes into the game. RIVETING!

Horatio Cornblower

That’s pretty exciting actu…Oh, wait, this isn’t baseball?

BC Dick

Maybe just a typo but the NFL combine bench is only 225 lbs (2×45 per side plus 45 bar) so you’re 10 pounds closer to your goal already. Good on ya. Feet on the ground!

Game Time Decision

Saw a clip of someone doing 49 reps of that weigh. Wtf.

SonOfSpam

Yes, feet on the ground (helps keep the butthole covered while you’re otherwise distracted)

Doktor Zymm

I’ve gotten good at looking right when crossing the street, so I will probably get hit by a truck as soon as I get back to the US

Game Time Decision

Could always just look both ways before crossing the street. I don’t trust drivers so look both ways

Doktor Zymm

I usually do as well, it’s more of a ‘which direction first’ thing. But still pretty sure about the truck

yeah right

Dublin had directions to look on the street so drunken American tourists would pay attention.

Barely worked.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, you got back in one piece.

Doktor Zymm

Much better. Got a schooner of the 7% cashmere IPA and ordered some fried pickles. I went with those as opposed to the poutine as they are a vegetable and therefore the healthy choice

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Doktor Zymm

Ok, the pineapple jalepeno sour is freaking amazing. Might bring some back with me since I’m already checking luggage

Doktor Zymm

Decided I hate Felons Brewing, it’s set up like a food court and the beer available is uninspiring and overpriced. On to Sea Legs Brewing!

blaxabbath

That’s some good hating. Efficient.

Mr. Ayo

It’s been too long. I have to RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Already done. Stupid monthly season ticket withdrawals.

2Pack

Sure

g43dgmzyl5uw2z27gqxgu4dh
yeah right

I’m halfway through The Brutalist!

It’s been damn good so far.

Doktor Zymm

Was supposed to do a brewery tour of Brisbane today, but it was canceled so I’m gonna do my own brewery tour!
comment image

First stop, Felons Brewers

SonOfSpam

Blackjack the card game or blackjack the weapon? Either way, have a bitchin Sunday!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s awesome that you are going to hang out with some rugby players who wear the #2 jersey!

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am genuinely shocked by how NSFW the original image search for “rugby hooker” ended up being with the SafeSearch filter setting at “off”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Chrome might be different, but what came up here on Edge was pretty eye-popping.

Doktor Zymm

Turns out RTD is just a rugby hooker tease

scotchnaut

Random YT Cooking Guy: “I peel the fibrous exterior of celery stalks before I use them in any recipe.”

Me: “Jesus Christ. Goddamit! Son of a Bitch! Bastard. Fuck! How? How have I never come across this before!”

Last edited 1 day ago by scotchnaut
SonOfSpam

While that may be a good idea, I feel like “peeling fibrous celery exterior” is a gateway drug to “stabbing random drifters” and oh wait look who I’m responding to, never mind eh.

scotchnaut

Someone needs a de-gloving-just sayin’.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, cause there are plenty of hours in the day to spend peeling fucking celery.

scotchnaut

Or carrots or potatoes. Bastards! All of them!

rockingdog

Found a funny:

49% of Troy was like “they tried to kill us yesterday” but 51 were chanting HORSE! HORSE! really loud

King Hippo

Anyone who’s not ashamed and disgusted by Taint-Licker Vance and his Leather Daddy, directed at one of the 21st century’s very, VERY few heroic figures?

FUCK. YOU. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Just. FUCK. YOU.

In happier news, I discovered this band over the past 48 hours, and I am enchanted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_OM5XXxwSw

Last edited 1 day ago by King Hippo
King Hippo
SonOfSpam

Also…we’re about to find out just how powerful we’re not (economically). Minor things are starting, like Norway not letting our warships refuel. Major things will start up, like Canadia becoming part of the EU either practically or in reality. The UK parliament is formally discussing UnBrexiting in a few weeks. One thing Trump HAS done is strengthened Europe’s internal ties. We’ll see whether the big pussy backtracks on the March 4 tariff thing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Does having a vastly lower murder rate and percentage of their population incarcerated count as “having their shit together”?

SonOfSpam

Also, no bankruptcies due to medical issues.

Also, free/cheap education.

Also (Hungary, Italy, Belarus, Serbia excepted), no fascists in charge.

blaxabbath

It’s okay. We are saved.


GOP Sen. Murkowski says she’s “sick to her stomach” and worried Trump is “embracing Putin”

Doktor Zymm

Phew. Glad she’ll save us just like she prevented Hegseth or RFK or Tulski from being confirmed.

Last edited 1 day ago by Doktor Zymm
WCS

Yes, after many hours of deep thought, introspection, and most importantly, prayer, Sen. Murkowski opted to side with the President, because she was assured he’ll be better next time.
Again.

I lambast Chuck Schumer, rightly so, but Murkowski is just absolutely useless. Her

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve heard Susan Collins is concerned.

Again.

Doktor Zymm

Are we placing major economies on the Bristol stool scale now?

King Hippo

EU should impound every scrap of American military equipment on its soil. First I heard of The Canadia joining the EU, that would be a smooth way for Britain to de-Brexit.

The US economy grew the way it did BECAUSE of our position as free traders and various “soft power” operations around the world. Tiny investments (in terms of expenditures) that paid back 10-20x over.

An isolationist America will be lucky to avoid a sustained, significant economic depression.

SonOfSpam

Yup. USAID pays for itself in many many ways (like…American farmers/companies providing stuff), and it’s a tiny part of our expenditures.

But dumb people think we’re somehow saving money by ending it.

A recession is inevitable at this point, just waiting to find out how big/bad.

Game Time Decision

It’s gone be YUGE, the biggest you’ve ever seen

blaxabbath

Long enough that I’m gonna regret having such a small place in Hawaii.

SonOfSpam

The (1994) was confusing. This is a brand new band, and yes, I’m in.

Good discoverin’ Hippo!

scotchnaut

Look, there’s a ton of great moments here, including Lalo Schifrin’s score but when the bad guy actually fastens his seatbelt in 1968? You know that serious shit is about to go down!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y08omSxeZGA