2026 NFL Draftmas – Day Three (and Whatever Lesser Stuff Happens)

Happy derby day, good sir Hippo! We’re finally playing like a team that wants to win, but who knows if it’s too little, too late. And Moyes’ technique of letting his opponents pass the ball around, then pouncing on their fuck-ups is pure poison for the Hammers, because fuck-up we will, in abundance, and I think T. Barry or Beto will benefit nicely from this.

Taty Castellanos seems to be the real deal, and is becoming a real leader on the field; far more than his counterpart, Pablo, who joined the club in the same window. Senegalese defender Malick Diouf, middleweight triceratops Adama Traore, and lately, defender Kyle Walker-Peters have been creating chances consistently, and midfielder Mateus Fernandes has been Lebowski’s Rug with great linkup play through the middle.

We’ve stabilized somewhat on set pieces, in that we’re not conceding goals in the air at a historic pace anymore, but we haven’t shored things up completely, either. And if Max Kilman is in the starting XI? Look out! Watching him play, you’d think he was host to some sort of parasitic brain-worm through which messages to his legs and feet had to pass like two inches of solid liverwurst.

You guys are just tough, tough, tough. I can’t imagine anything more than a point against Everton: Dangerous striker (whoever gets the start), Ndiaye and Garner are tough as hell at midfield, And your defense (Myko, Brainthwaite, O’Brien,Tark?) takes all day to break down. Then Pickford’s behind them.

Yeah, I think West Ham is heading back into the drop zone for the week, because Spurs are going to flip Wolves into a wood chipper at 12:30, and I think you guys beat us today, in an agonizing homecoming victory for David Moyes, 0-1 or 1-2. I wish I had any confidence in Wolves, but my god are they worthless now. Burnley, too. Best of luck to you! I know you guys are fighting for Europe, and I won’t be heartbroken to go down. At least the championship looks like more of a fair fight. Or are we the rich kids there? Lineups in ten minutes!