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WE are doing this because WE promised to do 3 previews pantsless. Let US begin the preamble… As your newly-crowned King of the DFO Fantasy Football leagues, champion of the Freezer Vodka League, newly-appointed COMMISSIONER of the Freezer Vodka League, and Benevolent Monarch of the DFO Peoples, WE pledge to you, OUR loyal subjects, to share our knowledge and update you on the goings-on in the Realm every Saturday Night in the off-season (except during the Mundial!). Tonight, WE present to you a list of things that Amuse US that start with the letter J (We shall go in alphabetical order going forward) and that OUR subjects should develop an interest in:
- Jokes
- Jell-O
- Jai-alai
- Jerseys (the uniforms)
- Jam (must be jam cuz jelly didn’t jiggle like that)
- Jelly
- Jiggling
- Juggling
- Juice
- Julips (the Mint kind)
- Jamming
And now for something completely different…
WE so proclaim:
Fantasy Football Leagues Reminder
WE believe that both leagues are set with teams. Please make sure that you will actively participate if you are in either league. If you don’t want to play, we already have others willing to join.
The Freezer Vodka League is scheduled to draft at 5 PM in the evening of August 31, 2026. Team managers are:
- Moi
- Hippo
- Borisnow
- Litre
- Scotchy
- Mr. Ayo
- Son Of Spam
- Maestro
- Senor Weaselo
- Rikki
- Bogdanski
- Duke LaCross
- Don T
- BugEyedBoo
The Lowratio League is scheduled to draft on the same day, August 31, 2026, at 6 PM. Team managers are:
- Gumbygirl
- Dok Zymm
- Rev
- Game Time Decision
- Armed & Hammered
- Horatio
- Yeah Right
- Blax
- Brick
- Lemonjello
- Brocky
- Jimbo
- BC Dick
- Sharkbait
Can y’all please confirm to your commissioners that you will actively participate?
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Mini Chargers Preview
The best thing The Chargers do each year is put together their schedule reveal videos. They’re fantastic! As for actual football, here is how the division finished last year:
- Broncos
- Chargers
- Chiefs
- Raiders
The injury to Mahomes had a lot to do with that finish. He will, allegedly, be ready for Game 1, though I doubt it. As for the Chargers’ QB, the big news is that Justin Herbert is now engaged to singer Madison Beer. I don’t know anything about her music, but that’s a solid name.
The Wild Card loss to New England is nothing to be ashamed of considering that the Patriots represented the AFC in the Super Bowl. However, it looks worse when you consider that the AFC was wide open last year. I mean, the shitty Patriots made the Super Bowl!
So, the more things change, the more they stay the same. The Chargers get good enough to get people excited and then, like the proverbial Lucy, they pull the football back and Charlie Brown falls on his ass like an idiot
That’s what you get for being a Chargers fan. Serves you right. This is why no one in LA gives a shit about the Chargers. Here is how WE see the division shaping up this year:
? Chargers
? Chiefs
? Broncos
4 Raiders
Who the fuck knows anything about this division? Maybe the Chiefs go back to being good. Maybe the Broncos go back to sucking? Maybe the Chargers meet the Rams in the Super Bowl at SoFi where both teams play? All I know is that no one in LA cares.
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In this space, WE shall share OUR Thing Of The Week. Today’s Thing:
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OUR weekly funny:
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OUR weekly hot girl pic:
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OUR weekly music video:
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One last thing:
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