Your “The Lesson Learned Is ‘Not To Care’” Monday Evening Open Thread

Well, I believe I speak for the majority when I say, those were some real Week-1 preseason games.

Oh, and fuck Dean Spanos with a rusty shiv. μαλάκας!

NFL Notes:

• The Lord giveth, and BLEERGH taketh away:
  • A week after signing a new five-year deal, Devonta Freeman is in concussion protocol.
    • He’ll sit out 1-2 weeks of preseason, just to be safe.

• Andrew Luck may or may not be ready by Opening Day, based on when Jim Irsay is asked and whether the drugs have taken effect.
  • If all else fails, there’s Scott Tolzien.

What the Colts hope for, versus what they are probably getting.

• You know the Jets are fucked when the headline coming from their preseason game is that Christian Hackenberg “inspires hope“.
  • Josh McCown concurs:
    • “I was so proud of Hack tonight because you have little hiccups here and there that happen, that weren’t necessarily his fault…he kept battling and played within the game.”
      • PLAN THE PARADE!

• Tavon Austin will miss another week. I don’t think the Rams will recover.

• Yay! Both the race card and his dad are about to enter the Ezekiel Elliott suspension drama.

• The Bears picked up waived Bucs kicker Roberto Aguayo Sunday.
  • He’s competing with Connor Barth, whom the Bucs dropped last year when they drafted Aguayo in the second round of the 2016 draft, for the starting job.
  • A delightful coda to all this disappointment is that it will end up part of “Hard Knocks”, so it’ll live forever as a testament to Bucs’ GM Jason Licht’s ability to measure talent & get fleeced at the draft.
    • Aguayo’s kids will get to see their dad talked about in the most glowing terms by his former boss:
      • “We’ve ripped off the band-aid … and we’re moving forward.”

Finally, the 49ers have hired the second full-time female coach in NFL history. Katie Sowers has joined the team in a currently undeclared position.

• Expect the message boards at PFT & Yahoo! to be full of supportive comments and congratulations.
• She previously worked for the Falcons as an assistant receivers coach, and was also a scouting intern under Kyle Shanahan, her new boss.
  • “Sowers’ Kansas City-ties to Falcons assistant general manager Scott Pioli led her to [the Falcons] opportunity.”
• Sowers played professional football, functioned as an adviser for USA Football, and was general manager of the Kansas City Titans of the Women’s Football Alliance. She had also been the senior recreation director and athletics director for the Kansas City Department of Parks and Recreation.

Tonight’s sports:

• Beisbol:
  • Rays at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Mets at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • Orioles at Mariners – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1

• Lucha:
  • WWE: Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • the “go-home” show before SummerSlam this weekend.

Remember, Week-2 of preseason season kicks off Wednesday with the Bills at the Eagles. I can’t wait for the tailgating.

E-C-W! E-C-W!! E-C-W!!!