Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.
Not sure what’s on my mind today to share. Anything that’s bouncing around feels to small and petty compared to all the crap going on. Was off last week for a much needed break and did a buncha stuff around the house. We fixed, patched, primed, painted and cleaned. Was productive but there always feels like more stuff to do around the house.
A thanks to ArmedandHammered for the ideas and advice around the bunnies. We vacuumed up wayyyyyyyyyy too much hay with the central vac, and I had to cut the pipes to unclog it, so bought a small shop vac that will be much easier unclog.
And we’re now doing team previews, so that means that the NFL regular season will be starting too. Can’t wait.
As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Watching a thing on ESPN2 about foosball players. They’re nuts, but it does go to show just how obsessive you have to be to be truly great at anything, even a bar game like foosball. I like a good game of foosball, but am I going to play it 15 hours a day? Watch videos of other people playing foosball? Stop drinking for a couple of days so as to stay sharp for foosball? No, no, and absolutely not.
And that’s why I’ll never be truly great.
Horatio Cornblower
If Uncle Ricco was a statue
Game Time Decision
Brocky
Mexico has a pandemic mascot. Pandemio.
litre_cola
It’s a vaccine mascot.
Given that America is where we are, I’d say is time for D.C. to hand the reigns over to the new Health Care Czar, the San Diego Chicken.
blaxabbath
Their 2nd in command can be Gritty.
litre_cola
Gritty would fuck up unvaccinated idiots. I’m all for it.
Sharkbait
Sharkbait
From my buddy who just came back to Alberta for the week where ALL restrictions including if you have the Rona to isolate will be lifted.
“I wear my mask everywhere as well. Fuck these fucking fuckers. I want privatization of health care for unvaccinated people except kids obv. You get Covid without being vaxxed and end up in the hospital? You get the bill, fuck you. Why the fuck should we foot the fucking bill for these selfish mostly rural fuckheads. It is utter bullshit and I hate what my province has become.”
He just got his PhD at McGill Uni. I told him that was better than his dissertation.
litre_cola
Mrs. Sharkbait is livid at people willfully not getting vaccinated. I’m of the opinion that they should be at the bottom of the list when it comes to treatment resources.
Sharkbait
Speaking of Toledo, apparently the 30th tallest building in the city is something called the Pythian Castle
Built in 1890 for the Knights of Pythias Secret Society. In 2013 the interior was found to be “dilapidated”
herodotus450
‘the interior was found to be “dilapidated”‘
That’s a pretty good assessment of Toledo on the whole.
Anthony In TX
Pretty fair summary of my doctor’s comments during my last physical.
Horatio Cornblower
Am I supposed to go buy a Subway sandwich because Tom Brady is part of the ad campaign? They should limit those ad buys to central Florida and the parts of New England that are not Connecticut.
Viva La Tabula Raza
He is fond of kissing young boys on the mouth, so he’s a perfect spokesman for Subway.
Anthony In TX
Fellow Masshole texted me today a link to something that said that Bills ownership is trolling for a taxpayer funded-stadium in Austin to land their team.
Fuck that.
But at least they could keep the team name “Bills,” since Austin is the seat of state government and they pass shitty bills all time. “Oh, black or brown? Sorry, you can’t vote. And what’s up with that shit about Mister Potato Head genitals? That’s important!!”
Plus, they already have a new mascot waiting in the wings.
Viva La Tabula Raza
Don T
This is Noir, he is my rabbit, and lives in my office/man cage and seems to have bonded to me, much to my wife’s chagrin.
ArmedandHammered
God bless America
BrettFavresColonoscopy
lol at the dude that rolled up with a chain saw to a TSA check point.
Mr. Ayo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
found a funny:
waiter: sets down check
me: my treat
date: awe thank you
me: grabbing mint for what
rockingdog
Wasn’t planning on yankin’ it tonight, but sometimes life gives you lemons for the express purpose of making lemonade.
Texas Rep. councilman H. Scott Apley died today after testing positive for COVID Aug 1st. He was 45. In April he tweet mocked a Dr. & told her to shove a carrot somewhere (below). His wife & infant son are positive too. Their gofundme page. https://t.co/AntdSWa0YA #CovidIsNotOver pic.twitter.com/kZWoUB5Ixd
— theartistwolfami 🇺🇦 🌻 (@The_Artist_Wolf) August 4, 2021
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
The world is so, so, so much better off with people like this gone.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Hey, Magical Pony – is Cincinnati FC any good? Asking FOAR my gambling non-problem.
King Hippo
I ain’t know MLS much but I do know they are the worst run team in the league. Does the same family own them as the Bengals?
litre_cola
No, they are owned by one of the Linder family. This one actually does stuff for the community other than threaten to leave the city every 30 years.
Lindner family – Wikipedia
Redshirt
What kind of empty threat is it to threaten to leave town with the BENGALS?
King Hippo
In their defense, their “You’ll have to root for the Colts” was an underrated negotiation tactic.
Redshirt
This is my last night in the house in the stupid town I grew up in. I think I’ll order some lousy pizza. Only because there is no delivery where I’ll be living. There is no delivery of anything except for firewood.
scotchnaut
The premier marathon swim race in France is called the Tour De L’eau, right?
scotchnaut
And I suppose the organizer of the event is L’eau Commander?
Warthog
The Greek guy finished 5th, which is odd. I bet big on him coming from behind.
Horatio Cornblower
I would like to streamline the names for the various “football” sports. American football remains “football”. European football can be “fútbol”. And Canadian football can be “football, eh”.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Canadian version should surely be “foUoUtball” ?
Dunstan
Terrance and Phillip approved.
TheRevanchist
USWNT appear on the verge of clinching the bronze medal.
That’s what you get for endorsing Subway, Megan.
Horatio Cornblower
You’d think Megan would’ve canceled her endorsement deal when she found out Subway doesn’t use real tuna.
SonOfSpam
Okay here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore you.
This is the “Yacht Story.”
My submarine would come out of King’s Bay Georgia and due to the continental shelf we had a two day transit to our dive point.
One time, a civilian motor boat with a bunch of drunk Georgians tried to follow us on the surface transit. They were trying to ride right next to us. It was not a fishing trawler (a real fishing trawler would never do anything like that) it was just dumbshits with too much money in their pockets and a big boat and now they’re dealing with real combat sailors on a ship that’s carrying nuclear weapons. Not a good idea.
I was up in the bridge cockpit when this happened. I saw it all.
We were about 100 miles off the coast, and after 30 minutes of this nonsense our captain got fed up and ordered a marksman up to the bridge. In our armory the standard issue rifle was the M-14, which is chambered in .308, and that’s a big bullet.
Now this was a really expensive boat that was screwing with us, and they thought they were being very cute. The marksman took a single shot “across the bow.” Nobody got hurt and there was no property damage. That’s the standard naval warning to another vessel to cease, desist, and go somewhere else. The second shot (if necessary) is going at somebody’s fucking head.
That boat turned to port immediately and hauled ass. It was actually pretty impressive.
We then proceeded on our merry way to the dive point.
Brick Meathook
All right friends, I’ve gotta get up in the morning, so I’m off to bed.
But good goddamn is it ever wonderful to sit around and chat about football and not-football with you. Doubly so when there’s actual, real football being played.
See y’all around here tomorrow and/or the next day and/or the next, etc.
Anthony In TX
Sweet dreams!
Gumbygirl
That looks like a gently used fleshlight.
litre_cola
Holy shit. It is 10:15 PM DFO+1?! I missed Football Live Threads.
I gotta go to bed. I’m still new at my job. It too early for me to be caught sleeping on the job.
Redshirt
Is it okay if I sleep at your job?
Doktor Zymm
Anyone watching the Hamilton Cat-Cats and the Winnip”eh”g Blue Bombers game?
Anthony In TX
Raises hand.
litre_cola
Don’t you mean ‘r”eh”ses hand’?
Anthony In TX
THIS HALL OF FAME GAME, I CALL IT SEX WITH MY WIFE BECAUSE IT ONLY HAPPENS ONCE A YEAR AND NO ONE WINDS UP CARING WHAT HAPPENED
jjfozz
A nice grilled hot dog sounds good. Think I’ll be firing up the grill a lot this weekend.
TheRevanchist
Just remember to balance it with some healthier choices
Gumbygirl
So obviously the Vince Carter dunk in the Olympics was the most famous dunk in history. But what’s #2?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
My fist in Harvey Fierstein’s ass! It’s called a 369!
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Soiree!
Buddy Cole’s hilarity aside, (seriously, I laughed so hard I might be in more pain than poor Harvey), this has to be it, even if it isn’t the best dunk ever
For the record the best dunk was Ray Allen in a losing effort against Syracuse. Can’t find a video, but Syracuse had just scored a crucial basket and Ray came down and fucking slammed down an absolutely vicious dunk. Didn’t change the outcome but it was the first time that I remember watching a UConn game and thinking “Oh shit, this is what it’s like to have a Top 5 player”
Horatio Cornblower
Brocky
August 6, 2021 7:36 pm
So I’m on vacation this week. Not that anyone cares, I’m an indiana boy visiting his brother and his family, who lives just outside NYC. After a day at the beach, kayaking included, the kids were playing on a playground. I spot an ice cream truck, and being the good uncle I am, offer to get everyone some sweets. While I’m l waiting in line, this car pulls up, and these two older gentlemen get out. The ice cream vendor takes notice of him, said, hey, is that who I think it is?…….
Long story short, this happened.
[Picture of Brocky with Mr Bill Murray [[updated due to authors piss poor memory]] Chevy Chase that the link nae works]
(Yes this is actually what I look like, don’t care, this was fucking crazy, i had to ask for a picture)
Don’t sell yourself short Brocky, you’re a tremendous slouch.
Mr. Ayo
Gotta steal something I saw posted on another site earlier today. Someone was bagging on Kirk Cousins for not getting the vax. Someone responded
“Kirk Cousins can’t get a shot because he has no arm.” I larfed out loud.
Viva La Tabula Raza
found a funny:
exec: i have a new band that’s going to tear up the charts
ceo: what’s the name
exec: duran duran duran
ceo: that’s way too many durans
exec: we can cut it down to just duran, sir
ceo: hmm now i’m worried that’s not enough durans
exec: i have an excellent idea then, sir
rockingdog
August 7, 2021 5:13 pm
My fantasy team this year is Baby Got Vax. Covidiots has a certain panache as well.
yeah right
My $5000 bed was delivered! I’ll start drinking now in order to enjoy it that much quicker.
yeah right
Drink in the bed, it saves time.
Gumbygirl
Many of you know I spent some time in Tucson, Arizona in my younger years. During the mid-late 90’s, now-5X Olympian Abdi Abdirahman (born in Somalia, ran the marathon at the Tokyo games), made his entrance to the distance running field by dominating at Tucson High, Pima Community College, and then the University of Arizona, finishing second in the ’98 NCAA Cross Country race. He then went on to run for Nike but maintained his home in Tucson as former-UA track coach, Dave Murray (of no interest in bringing a young local Sebastian Blax to his African-laden team fame) continued to coach Abdi through his career. You may get lucky and catch a glimpse of him somedays on the west side just logging miles but he spent a lot of time in Flagstaff or in Colorado logging days in high elevation.
So I was state-level high school runner around Y2K and that winter was an exciting period for me because my older ex-teammates were now established collegiate runners who were home for the winter and it was a treat for me to get to chase these dudes who were doing twice as many weekly miles as me at my track race paces as they glided up and down the trails of Sabino Canyon or the unimproved roads and washes in the Tucson mountains. Group runs are like finding a party for a high schooler — you’re way out of place and no one is interested in you showing up to theirs but, if you can get someone to vouch for you, then its your opportunity to lose — but it’s an absolute adolescent-style competition from the get-go, especially because no collegiate guy is going to even finish a training run behind a high schooler. But finding a good run, like finding a ‘cool college party’, is mostly an inefficient series of rumors and phone calls each weekend about, “Hey, the USPS team is training at Sabino this weekend but we gotta be on the road at 5a if you want to see them,” or “Rick’s teammate from Stanford is staying with him this weekend and they’re doing [local challenging route] in [time goal] and we can go if we’re there by 5:30a” and half the time you show up and no one is there or they’re already running and there’s no way your minor ass is going to catch these cats.
ANYWAYS, I get this late call one night that there is going to be a group run in the Tucson Mountains in the morning, starting at the UA. Different small groups doing different distances/paces. I end up running late and arrive just as people are getting ready to go. I hop out of my car and literally catch the back of the pack just as they’re taking off. I get up with my friend and fall into pace. It’s a few miles on the roads before the mountains so everyone keeps tight even at a pretty quick pace. Then we reach the trailhead and about 2/3 of the pack pulls off to do a different route. I’m in a group of about five guys heading up the first hill and who is leading this but Abdi. Very high school thrilling for me. Until I crest the first hill and see he is already going up the next hill, pushing the pace (for me, for him it’s nothing) with absolutely careless form. I’m proud to say I hung around for about a mile and a half until his uphill pace was faster than my racing downhill speed and I just lost the little Olympian as I had to put 100% focus on not blowing myself up out here in the desert like 5 miles away from the nearest road (the worst thing a high schooler could do is not make it and then need a ride — I never did that).
So that’s my Olympic claim to fame story. Now I’m on Day 1 of some extreme like 1200 calorie a day diet because the mrs wants to lose weight and I’m fat too telling stories about my Al Bundy-esque high school days.
blaxabbath
“Hope everyone is still surviving and relatively virus free” is basically the RTD Signal for when you need to hear about the latest ironic Covid deaths
blaxabbath
No joke, I just woke up and one of my first thoughts was “I hope some stupid asshole that spent the last 18 months shilling hydrochloroquinine or some other snake oil died overnight and I’ll read about it today!”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
So I’ve started look at apartments near my new job to reduce commuting time and gas money. The prices is…pretty on the high end. Now I’m not saying I ready to sell my body out for sex, but how much can I get for pictures of my feet? I’m assuming one person here knows the answer.
Redshirt
Maybe sell a kidney or a lung?
Viva La Tabula Raza
Yeah, but where I find one each month?
Redshirt
Scotchy might be able to help with that..
Doktor Zymm
For RTD:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/8/8/2044519/-Missouri-Republican-State-Representative-and-Husband-Get-COVID-19-Husband-on-Ventilator
Viva La Tabula Raza
I understand they have been infected with the Karma variant.
/not my joke, but I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna run that one into the ground.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
New no-taunting rules from the competition committee.
https://twitter.com/PSchrags/status/1425153967659626497
There should exemptions for any taunts directed at the Cowboys.
Since the examples are from people taunting the Cowboys, I assume JJ’s humiliated ego requested this?
I don’t know, but that’s the way it is in my head now and that’s exactly how it’s going to stay.
“BUT MY BOYS ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE GOTT-DAMMED STARS I TELL YOU! YEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWW I AM FUCKING EMBARRASSED BY OUR ON-FIELD PERFORMANCE!!!”
Wasn’t that pic of Brocky with Chevy Chase?
I think I got the name wrong, will update the post.
Thank you for mentioning it
“Don’t feel badly, I replaced Chevy Chase with Bill Murray, too.” — Lorne Michaels
Hey it’s finally infrastructure week!
https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1425123614781755394
Nice.
Sometimes infrastructure week takes 4+ years and an entire presidential term.
Senate votes 69 and so do I.
So far today:
Andrew Cuomo realized that just because he had no ill intent makes it okay.
The Senate passed a bipartisan infrastructure bill with 19 Republicans going against the overflowing pile of orange crap who was President.
That slightly full pile of bull crap who represents Georgia in the House got banned from Twitter for a whole week.
If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up.
Seems like the tide might be considering thinking about forming a committee to discuss the possibility of turning.
Believe it or not, Kathy Hochul will now be the first ever woman to be NY Governor.
Technically, yes, but the first bitch was George Pataki.
This probably isn’t the way we wanted to cross the finish line.
I’m sure she’s capable of sexually harrassing women just as relentlessly as her predecessors.
Cuomo out.
(Andrew, that is. CNN should probably shit-can Chris, too.)
That would have worked as his retirement announcement too.
We would have also accepted, “What the governor said as he unzipped his fly prior to sexually harassing his staff.”
Andrew Cuomo never says in two words what he could say in 2,000, with lawyerly disclaimers and condescension.
Good. Fuck that old douchebag.
I’d be okay with Chris keeping his job, assuming he didn’t help to cover it up. Him not reporting is probably orders from his bosses at CNN.
Besides, it will piss off the Republicans.
Him not reporting on it is insider trading and the SEC should file charges against him
“Insider Trading”? I’m confused. Did I miss something? What else did A. Cuomo do?
was trying to make a (bad) joke about the CNN brother knowing this was coming but then not reporting on it but then getting the whole process wrong.
She should take a knee on this one. It is going to get ugly.
Glad to be of help about the rabbits. My friends made fun of me that I bought my wife a large shop vac for our anniversary, but she loves it, it cut down on the clean up time of the rabbit area to just a few minutes with no clogging making her very happy.
A shop vac is better than this shit
And while easy to cut and fix the tube, I’m hoping to never do it again
I also have used gloves and a small gardening rake (handheld) to gather the stuff into a pile and just pick it up. Oh, and by the way, rabbit poop is an excellent fertilizer that does not need to be sterilized and when we change the litterbox the old stuff goes into the compost pile and does it ever make a great fertilizer! I use a shredded paper product as the litter to it composts quite well.
At least that is not a picture from your last colonoscopy…
My wife received a shop-vac for Christmas. It was exactly what she wanted and I have found that’s the best way to keep her happy!
Gumbygirl is bringing it every week!
Agreed!
You and Balls are my favorites. Don’t tell the others!
makes note to exclude Gumbygirl until I get added to this list
You are permanently on the list!
What are “things I say to my dick”? Same category for $1,000, please.