Sexy Friday, Post LaboUr Day Weekend 2021 edition

Thanks to his amazing and no doubt well-endowed penis, we have an All-Mr. Ayo pictorial today. Truly one of our best, if I’m being honest. Thank you very much for your contributions! Keep up the awesome work!

On to Balls’ Thoughts O’ Da Week!

***

Balls’ AFL Finals Preview Part Trois

Early this morning, the Geelong Cats got the shit kicked out of them by the Melbourne Demons. It was an 80+ point demolishing that was highly embarrassing

I woke up early for work, saw the Three Quarter Time score, shrugged, continued taking my shit, and then worked out.

The other Preliminary Final is Port Adelaide v Western at the Adelaide Oval and that will be shown on TV late tonight starting at 2:30 AM Pacific. Any of you on the East Coast can wake up early for that one and watch it while eating your Vegemite sandwich and a XXXX to get in the mood.

***

A Midnight Reflection

For whatever reason, the fan on our AC decided to take a shit last night, so the AC was working, but no air was circulating. That meant it was fucking hot and I couldn’t sleep.

In the middle of the night, it started to rain and there was thunder and lightning. These are typical of desert climates and last night triggered a memory from when we used to live in the Arizona desert.

Back then, I got really into country music and there are songs from that era that still resonate with me to this day. I will be playing a selection of these in the music section today.

Congratulations to Gumbygirl for guessing the All-Australiano DJ theme from the last few weeks! You’ll get a break this week, but I’ll be back with another puzzle next week.

***

For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

Here are your Top 11 pictures of the week.

h/t Mr. Ayo (Balls’ Pic O’ Da Week!)
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Mr. Ayo

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Today we are playing songs brought to mind by a thunderstorm-filled rainy summer night. Enjoy!

Song Number One:

Alabama – Love in the First Degree

Canción Número Dos:

Ronnie Millsap – I Wouldn’t Have Missed It For The World

Chanson Numéro Trois:

Mac Davis – Lord, It’s Hard To Be Humble

Canzone numero quattro:

Charlie Daniels Band – The Devil Went Down To Georgia

Canção número cinco

Johnny Paycheck – Take This Job And Shove It

Seigarren zenbakia:

Johnny Lee – Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places (Fucking tWBS theme song, eh boys?)

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Brick Meathook

This is “Stymie” from the “Little Rascals” (TV) film shorts from the 1930s and 1940s that were original released as “Our Gang” shorts.

His real name was Matthew Beard, but at Hal Roach Studios in Culver City, but he was a young boy and they never could find him. So the the nickname “Stymie” was given to him by director Robert McGowan.

But another employee on the lot really appreciated young Matthew’s comedy chops, and that was was Stan Laurel, who was half of the famed “Laurel and Hardy” team and by all accounts was a really decent guy.

Stan Laurel was from England and he gave very young “Stymie” the bowler hat on the studio lot, because in English music hall tradition only the top comic wore a bowler hat.

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yeah right

I’m listening to harbor seals barking like crazy right now.

This part of town is a natural amphitheater.

yeah right

You’re actually talking to a dumb motherfucker who got married on Independence Day.

Like I know shit.

Ten years of hard time

but..

mazeltov!

All jokes aside I wish nothing but the best for you. I’ve actually met you more than once

[best man starts subbing this in as his toast]

and you are a warm, very warm actually, human being but you are without a doubt filled with compassion, intelligence and you’re fun as hell to have a beer with.

Cheers!

[submit best man’s email as payment here]

Smart motherfucker getting married on 9-11 too..

Never forget an anniversary that way.

yeah right

This would be a misplaced reply.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey, who wants to get married this weekend? Just me?

TheRevanchist

I thought I did, but the second Ashley Brewer starts talking, it makes me want to chop off my left nut.

Gumbygirl

I’m probably headed to Maryland to find those zebras, maybe when I get back? I’ll have to bring Gumby too, ok?

zebra-rider-1024x804.jpg
2Pack

Congrats. Best wishes. Enjoy the day, I still smile when I think of mine.

2Pack

Great hustle here boys! If this weeks load of pics has not crushed the site… we should be good for the weekends games.

/ as is the way of his people – jinxs the site
// is now sorry he said that.

yeah right

Lord willing and the creek don’t rise. But I’ve got…

A lot of beer. Shitloads of beer.

Mr. Ayo

Been a year since I could drive my car. Should be back next week though!

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Mr. Ayo

She’s waiting

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Mr. Ayo

She is also waiting

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Mr. Ayo

She’s checking out the new equipment.

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Mr. Ayo

She’s trying to figure things out.

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Mr. Ayo

She’s trying to dry off.

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Mr. Ayo

I’d do a straight trade for this one.

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Mr. Ayo

She’s feeling cold.

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Mr. Ayo

She likes the city view.

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Mr. Ayo

And, she’s leading me to bed.

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Mr. Ayo

She’s getting ready for bed too.

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Mr. Ayo

This one wants more beach time.

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Mr. Ayo

And this one can’t be shared here. Shame.

h
ttps://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krn3rpbhkj1qzs286o1_500.jpg

yeah right

Anybody else watching HBO streaming The Wire from start to finish? Just started Season 2. Not my favorite but it’s got a lot of “Harbor Shit” working. Season one was insane.

Michael B Jordan got PAID by playing Wallace.

Hardest scene ever.

SonOfSpam

Still never seen an episode. May someday.

We’re watching current season of American Horror Story. Pretty fun so far.

yeah right

Please do. Watch for the production values alone but really appreciate the incredible cast that HBO paid minimum wage to.

BugEyedBoo

I need to pick it backup – I’m in the middle of season 4. Not as good as seasons 1-3, but still good.

yeah right

Season 1,3,5 but shit this is my 4th time though it.

blaxabbath

S2 starts out seemingly slow after S1. Having watched the whole series through 5-6 times, S2 is remarkably good in that it sets the expanding stage for the show that allows it to go above just the street drug dealers vs cops storyline

Last edited 3 years ago by blaxabbath
Brick Meathook

Here’s a photo of my foot on a cross-country commercial passenger aircraft flight.

By the amount of space you can tell I’m flying first class, because that’s how Brick rolls at this stage in his life.

Those are high quality shoe laces.

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Mr. Ayo

Sexy Friday just took another step forward!

yeah right

But you had to re-lace after the TSA check in.
Right?

Brick Meathook

I have the TSA pass where I don’t have to take off my shoes.

yeah right

The best TSA pass.

Horatio Cornblower

Off-topic, but I just wanted to say that there is a lot going on here.
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Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

(Don’t even bother, Ayo; make ’em work for it)

Mr. Ayo

Uh yeah, I’m not doing anything to promote that one.

yeah right

And seriously contemplating how he could get with that.

I would almost watch that on Pornhub.

Horatio Cornblower

So, how was the game?
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Didn’t see a fucking minute of it.

Horatio Cornblower

This is bullshit.
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Those are not Mexico’s coloUrs.

Horatio Cornblower

(Photo clearly taken at the end of the 2021 Gold Cup)
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Horatio Cornblower

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Horatio Cornblower

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“Germany-Mexico-Argentina”

This is worse than the Zimmerman telegram.

Horatio Cornblower

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Everyone around her just praying for rain.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think someday there should be a Hurrican Cthulhu.

Mr. Ayo

I can’t wait for them to be sponsored.

Hurricane Mayo Brought to you by Duke’s!

Horatio Cornblower

“Mayo killed my mother!”

“Yeah, those Category 5’s are tough.”

“What? She lived in Indiana; her arteries sealed shut. What the hell are you talking about?”

Horatio Cornblower

The blonde Mexican’s family relocated from Argentina in 1948.
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Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

Fuck it, someone else fix it.

Mr. Ayo

Amateur hour around here.

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Horatio Cornblower

I knew I could count on you.

Horatio Cornblower

Aww, she found a friend!comment image

Horatio Cornblower

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She killed 3 people to get those tickets and I’d steer clear of her, because she intends to go to tomorrow’s game, too.

Mr. Ayo

Worth it!

Horatio Cornblower

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Ted Cruz is hoping a stepfather took this picture.

Horatio Cornblower

Not with that stomach she hasn’t.

Horatio Cornblower

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Mr. Ayo

“hero”

Horatio Cornblower

“hero”, “zero”, whatever. People use a lot of words at me.

Mr. Ayo

Whatever it takes

Horatio Cornblower

Those are all words, yes.

Horatio Cornblower

Our hero, Horatio, having consumed an Imperial Stout sent to him by the nomadic BFC, is equally consumed by rage and jealousy at not having made the Sexy Friday list.

He stalks into his laboratory, (sits at his computer), muttering to himself and swigging Imperial Stout.

“There must, must be a way to get past Mr. Ayo and appeal to Balls’s purient interests! if only there were a code I could crack, a formula of some sort that, of combined, Balls would be unable to res…aHA!”

/plays aHA’s ‘Take On Me’

“Those whacky wrench fighters always help me think. With their help I’ll surely…aHA!”

//replays song

“No, just putting asses up there won’t do it, you violent yet sensuous motorcycle thugs. We need more here. Something he can’t say no to, something he’ll be unable to post next Fri..aHA!”

Turns off 8-Track.

“That’s enough of that crap! I’ve got it! Truly got it!! Nothing can stand in my way now!
/laughs maniacally for an hour

“Oh, shit, I have to post it!”
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Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
Horatio Cornblower

The s is for semen.

Horatio Cornblower

Also this was the picture that was there, that didn’t show up, that I was swapping in while you were saving the day.
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This is a lot more work than I thought it would be.

Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

No way the enemy’s missing dat ass, amirite?

/just fucking riddled with bullets from all directions.

Mr. Ayo

There’s definitely going to be a lot of discharges in that direction.

BugEyedBoo

Better be nice to Ciri, or Geralt will chop you into hamburger.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I put this tribute to the Hemingway story up on reddit:

For sale.
Ivermectin paste.
Never consumed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This was someone’s response:

this is just to say
i have eaten
the ivermectin
that was in
the tack trunk
and which
you were probably
saving
for your horse
forgive me
i don’t know
if it was delicious
covid
ruined my sense of taste

Horatio Cornblower

That’s phenomenal

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It really is. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever awarded gold.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ESPN cuts to commercial midway through a point in the fifth set.

THAT’S GOOD NETWORKIN’!

Brick Meathook

He’s in a totally disastrous relationship with that woman.

Gumbygirl

Or he’s still a vet, but now limits his practice to pussies?

Horatio Cornblower

The context is that we all know what she meant. PUT IT ON THE BANNER, MAN!!!

Horatio Cornblower

HA! Someone said I was popular!

Take that, Mom!

Gumbygirl

Awww, shucks!

Don T

Sounds like a decent DFO banner
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Horatio Cornblower

To be fair, any tweet about Nickelback is in bad taste.

Don T

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Gumbygirl

Did she screw the pooch? I am confuse.

ArmedandHammered

Dear Penthouse, I would never have thought this would happen to me. I am a postman who was attacked by this lady’s dog….

clint greasewood

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Horatio Cornblower

Fuck, I tried and even added beers to my photos and I got nuthin’

/kicks rocks

Ow!

//is barefoot

clint greasewood

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clint greasewood

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scotchnaut

Kansas ain’t quite ded yet.

Horatio Cornblower

Would you say it was bleeding, though?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

53 shot rally in the Djokovic-Zverev match.

Mr. Ayo

Sucks that Djoker is such a piece of shit human.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He appears to be trying not to be, at least for the last couple of interviews.

Mr. Ayo

I’m not falling for that.

Horatio Cornblower

“A German and a Serb spraying shots all over the place? This I gotta see!”

-Franz Ferdinand, 1914

Brocky

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Brocky

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m hoping “inhaling methane gas” is the next one that catches on.

scotchnaut

I’ve heard good things about “walking into busy traffic”.

SonOfSpam

And self-castration is something the elites don’t want you to try.

Dunstan

You know, most of them already have guns, and are predisposed to think they’re the solution to any problem….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Seems like a good way to get yourself to the front of the line for the ICU: “This guy got hit by a car *and* has COVID!”

Gumbygirl

DOA. It’s the only way to be sure.

Anthony In TX

The band Low released their new album this week and DAMN. It’s so, so, so good. Their last one was a little too “let’s just deconstruct every single note of this thing,” so it’s great to hear them pull it back a bit and put out such an awesome record. See whatcha think:

https://open.spotify.com/album/6S6jg2LuEwGdo9iYMSwCBS?si=rYUuDgJMTtWJ2JsFuOBGYg&utm_source=copy-link&dl_branch=1

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Somehow I stumbled upon this remix of “Monkey” and I absolutely love it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8KIF7CiOO6U

Brocky

I was leading this page, and a split second before the images loaded, there were just a bunch of lines reading: “h/t Mr. Ayo”

You da real mvp. Shame I didnt think to screenshot it

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo

I did!

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Mr. Ayo

Let’s go KU!

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Brick Meathook

This is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some stupid things.

I’m surprised Abraham Lincoln and Superman are not on the ballot.

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Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
SonOfSpam

Well done D’Brickashaw

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[slaps Brick Meathook on the ass, hard]

Gumbygirl

You are a true American hero! And you’re right, it’s really stupid, but we do what we must to keep Uncle Tom Elder, or the bear guy, or Caitlin Jenner out of the Governor’s mansion.

Brick Meathook

I always write-in vote for myself.

My motto is: “Don’t blame me, I voted for me.”

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
scotchnaut

All of the artists have had sex with their cousins?