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A Selection Of Phrases From Recent Posts That Would Make Good David Foster Wallace Essay Titles

WhyEaglesWhy

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I Should Have Listened To My Mother And Gone Into Carpentry

Toys, Sports Equipment, Assorted Trash, And Other Shit

The Swept-Up Dregs of the Knoxville Grammar Rodeo

The History Of The Vancouver Canucks Is Marked By A Tragic Inability To Judge Talent

Before I Begin, I Just Wanted To Complain About How Hot It Is In My Apartment

All I Know Is That I’m Not Entertaining Any Long-Term Guests

The End Times Are Near, So Smoke All The Cigarettes And Drink All The Wine You Can, Mes Amis

Bo Levi Mitchell Has A Cannon Arm

Fairly Straightforward, And Honestly Told In A Heartbreaking Fashion

The Others Will Be Playing Against Themselves

A Couple Of Quick Observations Before We Get Started

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scotchnaut

The world keeps on sucking…

http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/istanbul-airport-explosions-1.3656617

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scotchnaut

Gimmicky defences effective until the rest of the league can watch some tape? I give you “The Gritz Blitz”.

https://youtu.be/BVvQkogGajc

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Unsurprised

Goddamn NFL copyright

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scotchnaut

Here’s some more “Boingo Shit” for the Juststop Dude-

https://youtu.be/0_nDVjykgDk

KIDDING! I love this tune.

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

/WARNING: Incoming hot taek!!!!
Buddy Ryan is one of the most overrated coaches in NFL history. His legandary ’84/’85 Bears defense was due to the Bears lucking out and getting a Richard Fucking Dent for pocket change. He was a shitty head coach who couldn’t win ONE playoff game with Reggie White and Randall Cunningham. He helped perpetuate the idea that “real football” completely ignores the passing game. He’s responsible for hacks like Jeff Fisher and Rich Kotite. And say what you will about Kevin Gilbride, but even he wouldn’t let Steve Bono score on a bootleg.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjQI9Xzivv8
/End hot taek

RIP Buddy

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blaxabbath

Rushing quarterbacks are an affront to the game.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I tend to agree, although he did have the courage to go balls out and (largely) commit to the unorthodox formation. And he gave us Rob and Rex.

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Kungjitsu

Steve Bono was so fucking slow. That’s also the greatest play in NFL history.

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Everything wrong with 90’s Cardinals in 20 seconds or less.

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scotchnaut

The only reason he’s overrated as much as he is? Dipshit Bears and Eagles fans loved, LOVED! his bullshit bluster.

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Both his and Ditka’s bluster.

I’d talk shit too, if I was riding Sweetness’s coattails.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would say he was a very good defensive coach, but like any successful coach had great players at his disposal.

The Bears had a few good drafts and one all time draft to build that team full of all-pro players who fit that defensive scheme very well. I wouldn’t say “luck”, but I would say he didn’t play the huge part in that success that he and his fanboys claim.

1983 1 1 6 6 Jimbo Covert T Pittsburgh
2 1 18 18 Willie Gault WR Tennessee
3 2 5 33 Mike Richardson DB Arizona State
4 3 8 64 Dave Duerson DB Notre Dame
5 4 7 91 Tom Thayer C Notre Dame
6 4 23 107 Pat Dunsmore TE Drake
7 8 7 203 Richard Dent DE Tennessee State
8 8 23 219 Mark Bortz G Iowa
9 9 6 230 Rob Fada G Pittsburgh
10 9 11 235 Mark Zavagnin LB Notre Dame
11 10 5 256 Anthony Hutchison RB Texas Tech
12 11 7 286 Gary Worthy RB Wilmington (OH)
13 12 6 313 Oliver Williams WR Illinois

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WhyEaglesWhy

I agree. I found Buddy entertaining as hell, but he was a failure as a head coach because he utterly ignored offense, and relied on Randall Cunningham to make something from nothing instead of coaching him and helping him be the Hall of Famer his talent allowed him to be.

But his failures as a head coach can’t erase his genius as a defensive coach. That 1991 Eagles defense made people shit their pants, and I still think it was better than the 1985 Bears defense. But whichever side of that you come down on, who else has two such legendary defenses with different players on different teams?

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Can someone with more digital talent set this gif on a loop to Sarah McLachlan’s “Arms of an Angel”?

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/4799278/kg-hit-by-buddy-ryan-o.gif

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Buddy Ryan: Greatest Curmudgeon Ever

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JustStopDude

I got my seat! I LOVE AIRLINES! I DON”T KNOW WHY PEOPLE COMPLAIN!!!

no officer…that is not my molotov cocktail….

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Unsurprised

As if a Commentist would even DARE waste alcohol, especially while stuck in an airport.

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...

Flying international recently reminded me that the booze on those flights is free. Woo to a jet-lagged hangover!

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Sharkbait

That’s what’s going to get me through the flight to St. Martin in October. I dislike flying and booze helps.

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blaxabbath

I find it unfortunate that England’s achilles heel is shots on the ground.

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Unsurprised

Or just soccer in general

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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

RIP Zurlon Tipton

I don’t have any jokes. 26 is way too damn young.

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Unsurprised

Jesus Fucking Christ. That sucks.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry to hear that, sincerely.
But at the risk of sounding like the cold and unfeeling asshole I am, his questionable history (this isn’t the first time) with firearm safety didn’t manage to kill anyone but himself. So at least there’s that.

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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

That’s very true. Getting offed due to his own stupidity does put a damper on the tragedy a little bit.
Idk, I’m gonna be 26 in a few months so it hits a little close to home for me I guess.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Totally understandable. It is a tragedy, no doubt. I didn’t mean to sound like I thought he deserved it.

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Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

I didn’t think you came off that way at all. He had a history of issues and it’s fortunate no one else was hurt because of this.

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JustStopDude

Someone please explain to me why a fucking airline can take my money for a fucking seat that doesn’t exist.

How is this legal?!? This happens at least 10% of the time I travel.

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JustStopDude

AND OF FUCKING COURSE PHOENIX AIRPORT HAS THAT BOINGO SHIT!

How is it I can get free wifi at the Golden Triangle Airport of Bumbfuck Mississippi, but in major hubs, I am expected to fucking pay for shit service?

THIS IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A 1ST WORLD COUNTRY!!!

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Unsurprised

American hyper-capitalism is a motherfucker.

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...

A friend of mine’s dad worked in the airline industry and it was explained to me as such: They sell a commodity product largely on price with the burden of high capital costs, high regulation (mostly via safety), unionized labor, and are highly sensitive to the erratic price of fossil fuels.

Basically, it’s a harsh industry which is why they’re such nasty motherfuckers to their customers.

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Unsurprised

Plus the fickle and shortsightedness of shareholders represented by Wall Street scum who see Gordon Gekko (and, of course, he gives his “greed is good” speech at an airline’s shareholder meeting) as a role model.

I’m totally fine paying more not to be treated like an animal, but it’s still annoying.

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...

That doesn’t help either. The nature of the industry itself lends itself to being more cruel than average.

That being said, American-based airlines tend to be shitter than most. I was actually blown away at the quality of BA when I recently flew it and I’m pretty sure it’s not as good as the Asian and Middle Eastern airlines.

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JustStopDude

Etihad is far better than any US airline. By far.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is the problem, though. The modern business model is predicated on treating their customers like animals so they can create a revenue stream from customers willing to pay not to be treated like animals.

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Unsurprised

Anyway, it’s time to get federally criminal. Google how to hack that shit.

http://media.2film.tv/Film/1995/Hackers/image03.jpg

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Sharkbait

No industry nickel and dimes more than fucking air travel.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

No one ever said Arizona was part of the 1st world…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/weird-arizona/

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Unsurprised

There’s a strong case to be made that it’s not even part of this world.

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Unsurprised

How do you not have more frequent flier miles than Clooney in Up In The Air?

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JustStopDude

I can’t stand to fly. So I end up donating my miles on a regular basis to McDonald’s House and some other charities that helped out my folks when I was a gimp. Pretty much as soon as I hit a certain limit, they go right to a charity.

So I regularly have like hardly any miles.

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...

Don’t you still get the status associated with it? That should keep you from being bumped compared to use seldom-flying plebs, right?

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Unsurprised

IN ROD WE TRUST

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JustStopDude

You would think…

At this point, I would suck a dick just to get out of Phoenix…because honestly, you stay in Phoenix long enough…that is what you end up doing to make ends meet…

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You misspelled “meat.”

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I really like Ronald McDonald house as a charity. I have no idea what their bookkeeping is like (hopefully it’s clean) but the concept certainly is laudable.

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Unsurprised

Sharing here, too, because it’s beautiful.

http://116.imagebam.com/download/18AOILpWFWbqq4CKr8QOcA/49227/492267665/sadness1.gif

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Senor Weaselo

There isn’t an “It happened” Ron Paul gif, is there?

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Unsurprised

This?

comment image

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Unsurprised

I dispute the premise of the current scrolling text. There’s no way the Ryan Brothers will let Gilbrides go unharmed. They’ll finish what Buddy started come Hell or high heels.

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...

“Hell or high heels” is a great phrase.

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Unsurprised

You throw enough shit at the wall, eventually some sticks.

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Covalent Blonde

If Klosterman did much on hockey I am pretty sure, “The History Of The Vancouver Canucks Is Marked By A Tragic Inability To Judge Talent” would be coming out next month.

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jjfozz

I have picked up and put down Infinite Jest so many times that I now have tennis elbow.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS COMMENT I CALL IT PEANUT BUTTER IS ONE WORD DON’T WRITE ONE WORD CAUSE IT’S WORTHY OF GOING ON THE BANNER.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I missed this feature

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