Banner Photo Credit: Olivia Dickson Design
Yesterday marked my birthday. As one of my old former bosses used to say, it was a double click on the odometer. Can’t say that anything clicked in terms of some great epiphany or other profundity though. I did keep thinking about my dad’s 40th birthday, though.
I have a very vivid memory of the party favors from that milestone birthday. Everything was gags about age and death, either a shitload of “over the hill” references on balloons, paper plates, etc and/or actual visual depictions of the grim reaper. And yet here we are, 34 years later and not only is my dad still alive, but he obviously was very young on that gloomy, doom looming birthday.
As I myself have crossed that date on the rubicalendar, I ask you–where is this damn hill? Are my best days supposedly behind me? Because physically, that’s almost certainly true but mentally and emotionally I sure as shit hope not. It’s almost entirely cliche to say 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40, 60 is the new 50, so on and so forth. And yet I’m not unaffected by the shift. I mean, literally nothing has changed except the decade to which I belong, and I’m not gonna go buy a ferrari, get an ear pierced, and look for a 25 year old to date (RIP tWBS) or anything, but I am stopping to think at least a little about if I’m going to keep repeating the same damn mistakes in the past or change for a change. Which is a battle of my own stubbornness, a force only somewhat less unstoppable than the forward march of time.
I started this open thread draft first thing this am, expecting the open window to provide me with some sort of canvas to drop brain sketches and reflections. Instead I ended up dealing with the contractors in our house (not as bad as Horatio’s but still), meeting a friend for lunch, and then fittingly, the seconds, minutes, and hours tick tick ticked away until I only had about a half an hour to get any of these thoughts whatsoever into publishable form. That’s apt, too, I suppose, that the deadline is the only thing that scared me into working, just as a….let’s call it a life or deathline like a heart attack or near miss car accident is what it takes to force healthier eating or a new joie de vivre. All I know is that the number my age starts with is a notch higher than at the beginning of the week, and I don’t feel a whole lot different.
Uplifting, I know, but as a friend of mine once (often?) said, life is the sexuality transmitted disease with the highest mortality rate–100%.
Oh, and speaking of highest, happy 4/20 to those who celebrate/partake. Not my bag but I don’t quibble with the appeal.
Now look, this isn’t a “woe is me” or “send help” post, I’m actually doing pretty well, all things considered. It’s only natural to take stock on the march of time when we pause to celebrate a birthday, and what I’m left with is that I’m not that old but I’m definitely older, and it’s up to me to decide how much to do things differently before/until/unless a major precipitating event forces change upon me. After all, time’s arrow ain’t stopping or going back on my account either.
What’s on TV Tonight?
Baseball
Yes. It’s 162 game slog, man, and I don’t understand which games are regionally broadcast, nationally broadcast, on ESPN+ or AppleTV live or post-hoc. It’s a big scary world and life is constantly changing. So no, I shan’t be watching the Dodgers vs the Cubs tonight. Check your local listings.
If you really want to get wild, there’s college baseball and softball on tonight, the latter on ESPN2 at 6 and 8PM DFO Time (FSU vs Va Tech and Oklahoma State vs Texas, respectively) and the former on ESPNU at 6:30PM DFO Time (Gators v Cocks).
NBA Playoffs
Series-leading Sixers vs Nets, 6:30PM DFO Time on TNT
Draymond-less Warriors vs the 2-0 leading Kings, 9PM DFO Time on TNT
Suns vs Clippers (series tied 1-1), 9:30PM DFO Time on NBATV
NHL Playoffs
Lightning at Leafs, 6pm DFO Time on ESPN (Tampa leads 1-0)
Rangers at Devils, 6:30PM DFO Time on TBS (New Yawk leads 1-0)
Kraken at Avalanche, 8:30PM DFO Time on ESPN (Seattle leads 1-0)
Jets at Knights, 9PM DFO Time on TBS (Winnipeg leads 1-0)
I leave it to the Canucks among us to make the Maple Leaving jokes. And let’s celebrate Mike Lindell being added to the list of charlatans and fraudsters being ordered to pay up. Hoorah! To the comments!
Reflection on aging: The obligations are rough.
It’s 4:00 AM, One-year old, who received vaccine shots in both legs yesterday, is up needing Motrin. The dog that we rescued from the Target parking lot shit on Dr. Mrs. LLL’s nice rug (so I had to clean it painstakingly), and for the third night in a row I will sleep less than 5 hours in aggregate.
Tomorrow will be an all day marathon for the opening of a project that wifey and I developed, and I had to block out one hour on Saturday to catch up on “drinking water and answering texts.”
In a sad commentary on our age, wifey and my big fun yesterday was sneaking into the pantry to eat a piece of cake from the local bakery. We had to scurry away to do this so that the 5-year old wouldn’t take it all, and the dogs wouldn’t bother us. We gave the 5-year old a sundae and a new dog toy so that he could play with the pups in the backyard.
This is the only type of little “win” that we get. Its about the equivalent of receiving a bid to that third, shitty NCAA men’s BB postseason tourney.
It true. Especially having the kid(s)/dogs/in-laws. Priorities change; some by choice and some by necessity.
Let us know how the rollout went.
It’s on. We refinishing the diving board.
I noted the preroll earlier. Just going Full Charlie now?
I have mad munchies. But, I am lazy. It’s a standoff.
This stuff is a two-part with a catalyst. The fumes were enough.
Aim towards the grass in backward dives.
Like all things age is what you make it. Some better, some a notch or so less. I posted this before but it accurately reflects my view.
My mind still thinks I’m 18.
My body thinks my mind is an idiot.
Be well Buddy.
Ayo just shat a kraken after that.
I’m fine. It’s really the city of Denver that’s the problem. It should be burnt to the ground for ruining such a picturesque area of our beloved country,
My sister is attending a version of Grease called “Bear Grease,” and I am still flabbergasted that it is not, in fact, gay.
If you see Buddy around, then someone is lying.
‘Diaper-Wearing’ Vladimir Putin Suffered ‘Nervous Breakdown’ After Switching To ‘Stronger’ Cancer Medicine, Kremlin Insiders Claim (msn.com)
I can’t verify it’s accuracy, but it’s a funny thought anyway!
The Canadian apology game is in penalty kicks, or apologies.
When I worked at a tennis club in Canada, I often observed people (usually older ladies) playing a version of doubles I called “Sorry.”
Make an error? Apologize to your partner.
Hit a winner? Apologize to your opponents.
Older Canadian women in tennis skirts, you say? This isn’t sexy Friday yet!
OMG, skorts are the best. I need to update my posting schedule.
Agreed.
Any suggestion that a young Dunstan was like Bill Murray in Caddyshack, ogling the golfers while “servicing” the ball washer, is entirely unwarranted.
Well, mostly.
Boo the video doesn’t embed.
Good night for now. I might post something at 4:30am when I wake up my younger kid, to make sure he’s a helper on one of our trucks.
Happy yesterbirthday BFC! I turn 54 tomorrow, which is 6×9. Nice.
And you’re as young as you feel, mentally and emotionally. Physically I’m a mess.
And today is Hitler’s birthday, which is why Harlan Crow has been partying like a mofo.
I’d dedicate tomorrow’s Sexy Friday to you, but you’ll be asleep by the time it posts.
Sexy women are wasted on me.
At least, I hope they will be someday.
This is what I want on my headstone.
Go all out!
“That’s not how the question works.” -Deep Thought
https://twitter.com/AZCardinals/status/1649231812781285382?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
“Given Bidwill’s sexuality, you’d think they’d at least be able to get uniforms that look good.”
-Sill Bimmons
Yeah, red with white, or white with red. Crazy creative, you desert rats you.
Sad when the alternative is the best option
I really just don’t see what options they have. What have the Rockets done? That seems like the most similar locked color scheme and they won a title.
I know about the blue HOU unis — did they win in those? Look I’m just saying that the next closest team to the Cardinals — in terms of uniform colors and overall on-field talent — is the Utah Utes.
Perhaps you missed the alternate/”color rush” option featuring NEGRO?
I don’t see color, you racist.
“Your best days are when you make them your best days.” – Probably someone under the age of 30
Written by someone that’s never hurt themselves sleeping or simply moving wrong
It’s taken 4 straight nights of sleeping adjustments to not wake up with sore shoulders.
I’ve succeeded today, but I’m definitely not a winner.
I’ve been told I don’t know how to use pillows.
Just don’t use the decorative ones for sleeping
Yeah you end up with a Japanese orchid imprinted on your face for a couple hours.
Are you humping them?
For sale: one BFC pillow – GENTLY USED.
It’s probably a disc in your neck. Good luck finding an opiate-friendly doctor in HIPPIE LAND.
Essential oils and crystals broseph.
I pulled a muscle in my back trying to wash my ass in the shower.
Love 40. No one bothers me. Younger people think I’m trying to rape them (like, bitch, if I wanted to rape and kill you and the body to never be found then it would be; go do some squats); my age and older have built lives for the last 40 years that don’t include me and they’re welcome to enjoy continuing to live them.
Gonna smoke this recreational preroll now.
I assume everyone is watching the Canadian Soccer matchup right now.
I get so confused by these colloquialisms. Which one is Canadian Soccer again? Badminton? Curling?
Apologizing.
Sorry bout that.
I WANT OWNERSHIP IN A DAMN CANWNBASOCCER TEAM.
How many rouges have been scored so far?
My doctorb recommended gummies will start in about an hour.
Just letting yinz know now.
Will things get weird? MAYBE!
And a very Merry 420 to us all!
Not afraid to dole out cookies though!
It appears lightning does not strike twice.
There was another NHL labor stoppage?
The Southern Expansion will continue until morale improves!
— International Disgrace G. Bettman during negotiations
He’s all lahk J.E.B. Stuart (“Pride of the Confederacy”) except with a MOAR punchable face.
Bettman is the most most annoying Cornell alum. Bill Nye and David Einhorn should join together and execute him on a Zoom recording from the university’s account.
Forgot another very famous alum…
Drink it in, Leafs fans. This is your one moment of glory this season.
“Doug Gilmour isn’t walking through that door…”
-because he’s probably committing a sex crime somewhere (again) right now.
I’m well past 40, and I’m definitely at peace with knowing that my best days are behind me. They were great days! But it would be dangrous and stupid to try to relive them, and even more dangerous and stupid to try to surpass them.
There are lots of ways to measure experiences. I can definitely surpass in some ways and those are ways that I appreciate more now than I would have then so totally win/win!
Late undergrad/very early law school, I topped out at “eh, this isn’t quite so bad anymore.” Wish I had appreciated it better in real time, but it probably would have only depressed me to know what was coming.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Macadamia nuts are the best nuts
Just because they’ll kill you doesn’t mean they aren’t delicious
“They are delicious, the best.” – Mrs. Cola
You’re wrong and you know that you’re wrong. There. I said it.
Are they too spicy for Canadians?
They aren’t my fave. I am put off by the texture, kind of soap-like, and they don’t taste like much of anything at all.
I cannot say no to a Macadamia nut and white chocolate cookie.
I strongly disagree, @doktorzymm.
The best nuts are DEEZ NUTS
Shit, I passed 40 more than a decade ago and I feel fine. Age is important only in age-discrimination lawsuits and drinking/voting/smoking laws. Other than that, it’s all in your head.
I have the mind and sense of humor of a gifted 12 year old. If it wasn’t for the fact my body can’t do certain things anymore, I’d think I was in my 20s.
I began my 40th lap around the sun last September. Nobody cared, and neither did I.
EDIT: Both Lil’ WCS and Lil’er WCS told me I was “old now.” So, someones were paying attention.
Age is also important for insurance costs, including car rental fees. Middle age is great if you like buying insurance!
Middle age is great
[coughs, looks askance]
-The Renaissance
“These kids have it too easy! They’re soft.”
-Iron Age
“Oook!”
-Pilocene Era
“….”
— everything before the Big Bang
Elizabeth Hurley is a goddess.
That link was indeed for you
I knew exactly what that link was before I clicked.
If elected to serve in The Grand World Senate of The Federated States of The Moon and Earth, I promise to finally, once and for all, determine clear and concise guidelines for what constitutes the “NSFW” label. No more shall we be bamboozled by the prospect of bamboozles only to be disappointed!
I would have guessed that you would guarantee that the Dreadful Wings would get into the playoffs every year but your powers go only so far.
The world is for the young but the olds control it. I like that tradeoff.
Oh hey, there was a data breach at the American Bar Association. I wonder what new embarrassing stuff we’ll learn about tomorrow?
Newsletter semicolon abuse (2015-2017)
Lionel Hutz’s real name is Miguel Sanchez!
That Kavanaugh really loves Whiskey Sours?
He really misses Bud Ice and Bud Dry, brah!
OK FINE I’ve been fillinng up the Bulleit Rye bottles with Regular Bulleit, don’t fire me I can’t go back to McGillicuddy’s!
We know I can do this all night, I’ll stop now.
Good thing you all read the tos.
IT’S ROBOT FIGHTING TIME!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVem3i00rWQ
Big Red was the most cinnamon-y of gums that ever lived.
https://youtu.be/CtzqpKwLJVE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGMGogrjdlo
Age doesn’t really equate to specific numbers. I feel better, more focused and alive than I have in years.
I also enjoy my job probably more than ever before.
The traffic is fully fucked though. But now there are fewer years left to drive in it!
In a kindergarten report card that I still have, (for reasons that will be obvious momentarily), Mrs. Steele wrote that “Horatio does not exert himself and will take life easy if not prodded.”
So far it’s working out well, and while I’m probably going to have to do something about my left knee sooner than I would like, I think it’ll continue working out until I shed this mortal coil.
Hopefully, since we’re apparently part Danish/Norwegian, (thanks Dad’s 23 & Me test!), in battle while clutching a sword, so I can get into Valhalla. I hear the beer’s pretty good.
You can prod things with a sword! Also, I’m assuming dream battles count and also those little cocktail swords that stab garnishes.
/my oldest son’s school’s assessment of him as an eight year-old
Advisor: “He’s jumpy and he’s distracting other students, wanting to touch them, always disrupting the class. He needs to be put on some sort of medication.”
Wifey: “I don’t want him labeled in that way and I don’t want him medicated as a ‘quick fix’.”
Advisor: “I can’t see any other solution.”
Wifey: “What if we just gave him something like, I don’t know, a tennis ball that he can squeeze and feel. Maybe that can calm him down?”
Advisor: “Fine.”
/fast forward one month later
Advisor: “Your son is doing so much better now! I’m glad that my solution has worked out so well!”
/Fin
“Tell me more about this medication.”
Hippo, K.
Mapplethorpe Leafs up 3-0 in the first, the most dangerous lead in hockey.
There is some evidence that life satisfaction is U-shaped, with the trough in the 40s. But that’s the opposite of a hill, so I guess ha-ha you’re down in the valley?
Or alternately, it’s all downhill from here, but in the sense that it’s really annoying and difficult to go up a hill and you can go down on a sled or a roller coaster and it’s easy and fun, so WOOO!
As a fellow fella that is getting up there in years, I’ve increasingly upped my physical activity [hiking, walking, jogging] when I’m able to after a long stay in a hospital back in September of last year. That episode was an incredible eye-opener.
This. Gotta keep moving, don’t matter what it is, just do something you like to do so that you will continue to do it. Oh and stretch. That will help you move as well