Into the PeriloUs Void – Early Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - January 6, 2024January 5, 2024

What, did you wake up and hope to see Premiership footy? And then JV NFL?? Too bad, you get nothing. Absolute fuckall. Well, there are FA Cup ties, though the draw was pretty uninspiring (though surely nothing can bottom out as badly as Everton's dreadful nil-nil away to Palace on Thursday, when

Raging JV Semis Thread (Also Open Monday Yada Yada)

King Hippo - January 1, 2024January 1, 2024

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Was everybody amply and appropriately bored with the appetizer games? #MeToo. Now, let's dig into that main fucking course. Alabama (+2) v. Michigan (5:00, ESPN) One might think this is hangover mercy, putting the better matchup/de facto championship game in the early slot. But apparently this is solely to satisfy the Rose Bowl

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2023 Season (Plus Final JV Exhibitions)

King Hippo - January 1, 2024December 31, 2023

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The roads to the Owl will run through Baltimore, MD and Santa Clara, CA. Congrats to the Ratbirds and Tomsulas for clinching their 1 seeds, even before the Week 18 schedule drops. Quality work, y'all. Such praise is especially earned by Balmer, who followed up their Week 16 humbling of Purdy

Your (Hopefully and Likely) Penultimate SNF Thread

King Hippo - December 31, 2023December 31, 2023

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It seems almost certain we get a Week 18 fixture, since Bills Mafia at LOLfins will be for the AFC East crown. But we take nothing for granted here at DFO. Eagerly await that schedule announcement, which is really the only good reason for watching... Packers (+1) at Vikings (8:20, NBC) Nobody

A Hippocratic Footballing Good-Bye to 2023

King Hippo - December 30, 2023December 29, 2023

Good morning, and congratulations for making it through another year of Hippo's nonsense. I will have NFL recap and JV NFL verbal diarrhea for y'all again on Monday, but that's a matter for next year. No goddamned resolutions. Self-improve or don't, but who gives a fuck about same in relation to

Instant Yuletide Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2023 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 25, 2023December 24, 2023

HO, HO, HO!! Santa Ginger Hammer saved the big goodies for this festive Monday, but we still got to open some socks and cartons of cigarettes Christmas Eve. Maybe more like "hats and T-shirts that won't need shipping to sub-Saharan Afrika after all" for Detroit, who finally got their Division title

Feats of Festivus Strength Thread (with Some Footy)

King Hippo - December 23, 2023December 22, 2023

Welcome to Festivus 2023. We've all got ample complaints, I am certain. Happily, we do get an early bird special, and its David Moyes Vengeance - Fronk's Hammers hosting Wakey's Men Untied (7:30, USA). Men Untied are coming off perhaps their best effoUrt of the season, which is good. But it

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2023 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 18, 2023December 17, 2023

Oh my. My, my, my. Every game can't be a Van Gogh, but we will always have Lake Effect Bearsenschiesse (h/t LemonJello). Because our DUUUUUVVVVAAALLLL imaginary pal very much sent the best prayer ever into the universe, asking how they could produce the most Bearsenschiesse ending to their near-comeback (which followed their

Ides +1 of December Football-ganza

King Hippo - December 16, 2023December 14, 2023

We have lots of Premiership fun, lots of super-duper mediocre JV NFL exhibitions. Our esteemed scotchnaut will be here shortly to cover the real entertainment product of the day (so happy the Donks got picked for late night). Without further ado, this what yew git: You can sleep in, no early

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2023 Season

King Hippo - December 11, 2023December 10, 2023

Oh, it was a rainy Sunday on the East Coast, including at the HippoLair. I tried to nap, truly. As with most things in life, I failed spectacualrly. Still, one quartered back overcame the early window elements to go over 300 yards in a dominant win. Of course, that man is

Welcome to Hayell! – Sad Sportsball Calendar Open Thread

King Hippo - December 9, 2023December 8, 2023

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The abyss, it layeth before thee. Just so happens, I heard this tune while driving mid-week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS2IBMQIjDo I am reasonably sure that this group had some Raleigh-scene connection, maybe even to Hippo's favoUrite college band (Sex Police). Still trying to verify that. UPDATE - holy shit, I was right for once! The start

Instant Hippo Thoughts – “Lucky” Week 13, 2023 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 4, 2023December 3, 2023

December is here, the temperature is 75F inside the HippoLair. Almost had to put the a/c on, but I worried my dead father would haunt me. When Grumblelord goes into the Hall of Fame, the 3 December 2023 Clippers/P*ts game needs to replay in full. 24/7 on NFL Network. Yes, there