Half a league, half a league, Half a league onward, All in the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. “Forward, the Light Brigade! Charge for the guns!” he said. Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. The Charge of the Light Brigade By Alfred, Lord Tennyson 2024 PREDICTION: "11-6, playoffs. It's gonna hurt, but I am Ready
Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
50 Years of ‘Why Bother?’: 2025 Tampa Bay Buccaneers Season Preview (and Tuesday Open Thread)
It's the Buccaneers 50th season in the league! Miss Manners informs me that is the "Gold" anniversary, but instead the other NFC South teams clubbed together and are generously giving Tampa Bay the division by default. Again. 2024 PREDICTION: 9-8 2024 REALITY: 10-7; not good, but good enough for the NFC South
Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V: 2025 Carolina Panthers Season Preview and Tuesday Night Open Thread
2024 PREDICTION: "3-14. Pray for Throwy Smurf- if he's not murdered on the field, Tepper will have him publicly executed for the crime of Failing to be CJ Stroud." 2024 REALITY: 5-12! It's a measure of Carolina fans' desperation that 5-12 is considered a Major Step Forward for this floundering, benighted
#Hardland Blues: Tuesday Open Thread
America is a culture of Bigness. Perhaps it is a holdover from the incredible expanse of stolen unclaimed land that greeted European-extraction settlers so long ago. Maybe it's the vast natural resources we ripped from the still-beating heart of the land and water found there. Maybe we're overcompensating for perceived shortcomings in...other
Holy Diver: Tuesday Open Thread
Brothers and sisters, our long national nightmare is over: rookie Shemar Stewart and the Bengals have reached agreement on a contract. Stewart had set himself up as a hero, standing up against the Bengals' grasping, cynical attempts to insert new contract language that would allow them to easily void future guarantees.
HOW THE F**K YOU DOIN’, BOYS?!?!: Tuesday Open Thread
God DAMN, boys! It's training camp time, my favorite time of the year! And this year, camp is gonna be campier than one of those John Waters movies! Now, because of my employment with ESPN and the network's 100% Shouty Bullshit committment, I'm contractually prohibited from giving any legitimate analysis. Fortunately, my
Panic! At The Benzodiazepine Factory: Tuesday Open Thread
BREAKING ANALYSIS OF MLB ALL-STAR GAME SNUBS!: Monday Open Thread
Just kidding! No one over the age of 10 gives two dead rats' asses about the All-Star Game except the players (contract incentives) and middle-aged men with a persecution complex and/or gambling addiction. Proposal: if you try to place a bet on anything ASG-related, the bloodsucking gambling app should be statutorily
Talk To Me, Canada Goose: Tuesday Open Thread
Roundball Rack: Tuesday Open Thread
Let's start with a bit of a departure from my normal practice of ignoring Lesser Sports (other than baseball) in this column unless something Stripper Monkey Bites Kid level occurs. Congratulations to Tyrese Halliburton's right Achilles' tendon on defeating the Indiana Pacers in Game 7 of the NBA Championship. Truly, the